Have a couple of 'em...

[JKelley]

Whenever someone asks me "Is today the the 21st? (or whatever day it is), as long as they're correct I always start my reply with "Well, unless something went horribly wrong last night...."

 

[Willy Boner]

tell SWMBO every once in a while....

Women!!!, can't live with 'em,
shoot 'em and you go to jail.

Of course she knows I'm only joking....I hope

__________________
Women, you can't live with'em and ........................ you can't live with 'em!

Man, he's sharper than a bowling ball.

When someone asks me how I am?
I'm just like an old p**sy, look like hell, but I still feel pretty good!

 

[PeteOz77]

"You couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a fistful of fifties"

 

[Dr_Deathweed]

Women, you can't live with'em and ........................ you can't live with 'em!

Women, you can't live with them, can't have heterosexual sex without 'em!"

 

[TexLaw]

Y'all just reminded me of a friend who used to say "he's so (stupid/dumb/uncoordinated), he couldn't hit his butt with both hands."

And another friend, who still says "it's hotter than an fresh ****ed fox in a forest fire."


TL