Funny things you've overheard about beer

[mcspanner]

Economics derail pt. 3 in 5....4....3....

 

[WilliamSlayer]

Lol, its a good thing I drink when I read this thread!

 

[hunter_le five]

Lol, its a good thing I drink when I read this thread!

It's the only way.

 

[WilliamSlayer]

Ok, 'funny thing' contribution -

Talking with a female co-worker today describing the hops I grow. I mention 'Chinook'.

"Oh, those must be Canadian, right?"

???....sigh.

"No, I think they call those 'Canucks'...."

 

[Venari]

Ok, 'funny thing' contribution -

Talking with a female co-worker today describing the hops I grow. I mention 'Chinook'.

"Oh, those must be Canadian, right?"

???....sigh.

"No, I think they call those 'Canucks'...."

Maybe instead of Canadian she must have been trying to ask if they were a helicopter? Or a breed of hops that only grows when the wind's blowing a certain way?

We shall never know.

 

[Genghis]

Maybe instead of Canadian she must have been trying to ask if they were a helicopter? Or a breed of hops that only grows when the wind's blowing a certain way?

No, no, no... Chinook hops are the ones that give the beer a light fishy flavour and aroma.

 

[Venari]

No, no, no... Chinook hops are the ones that give the beer a light fishy flavour and aroma.

It's been my experience that ALL hops give you a HERE'S HOPS IN YOUR FACE flavour.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

It's been my experience that ALL hops give you a HERE'S HOPS IN YOUR FACE flavour.

I don't get it.

 

[GonZolaB]

I don't get it.

You have got to cellar it

 

[Billy-Klubb]

You have got to cellar it

only 8 days left before I make a 1 year anniversary video with another well aged BL!

 

[GuldTuborg]

I don't get it.

No,no,no. Grind them into a powder then snort a line. That's real hop aroma & flavor.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

No,no,no. Grind them into a powder then snort a line. That's real hop aroma & flavor.

"Sniff... sniff... sniffin' my snuff... snuff... snuff! Stuff the Oi! for bone heads and stick it up your arse! I don't want all your rubbish and I'm not workin' class! I loves my farm, I loves it all the day. With me cows 'n' chickens, I bide me time away!"

 

[adiochiro3]

Watching Jeopardy tonight, one contestant said he was a craft beer fan. Alex asked what was special about craft beer, and before he could answer my wife said, "Flavor!" I definitely married up.

 

[Bosh]

OK for the next chapter of Home Brewing Without Failures (cutting edge brewing from 1965) he discusses his suspicion that French beer is made with leftover grape/crappy grape/grape skins/something grapey in general. Rather than doing any, you know, research to check this he decides to go ahead and check it by throwing grapes or grape juice concentrate into his wort.

This isn't quite as crazy as the rest of the book as some saisons have grape in them and I haven't had any but I could see the appeal. And he does tell people to use campden tablets.

His recipes:

1. Make a normal light ale or lager and throw in a pint of grape juice concentrate into a 4 gallon batch.

2. 1 lb light DME, 1 oz "hops", 1 lb sugar (of course, how could he not?), 2 lb of green grapes crushed and thrown into the bottom of the fermentor after being sterilized and one gallon water. I have no clue how much beer that would add up to but that sounds pretty potent and probably a bit less horrific than a lot of the other recipes in this book.

Next up: Cider Making.

 

[chisena]

I think I might have your first customer:

What the hell is the matter with that guy?

 

[chisena]

I was at a bar yesterday and the lady asked the waitress if she had Crispin. She said no, but what is it like so I can make a suggestion. The lady said it is like blue moonand her friend said no it is more like white wine. After the waitress suggested a hoegarrden (sp? ) she said no. I was right next to them and I mentioned that Crispin is a hard cider. The waitress listed their ciders and she ordered a Bud light.

Having to witness that exchange would make me want to hang myself from a short rope.

 

[chisena]

I was at a bar yesterday and the lady asked the waitress if she had Crispin. She said no, but what is it like so I can make a suggestion. The lady said it is like blue moonand her friend said no it is more like white wine. After the waitress suggested a hoegarrden (sp? ) she said no. I was right next to them and I mentioned that Crispin is a hard cider. The waitress listed their ciders and she ordered a Bud light.

Doble Post

 

[slym2none]

OK for the next chapter of Home Brewing Without Failures (cutting edge brewing from 1965) he discusses his suspicion that French beer is made with leftover grape/crappy grape/grape skins/something grapey in general. Rather than doing any, you know, research to check this he decides to go ahead and check it by throwing grapes or grape juice concentrate into his wort.

This isn't quite as crazy as the rest of the book as some saisons have grape in them and I haven't had any but I could see the appeal. And he does tell people to use campden tablets.

His recipes:

1. Make a normal light ale or lager and throw in a pint of grape juice concentrate into a 4 gallon batch.

2. 1 lb light DME, 1 oz "hops", 1 lb sugar (of course, how could he not?), 2 lb of green grapes crushed and thrown into the bottom of the fermentor after being sterilized and one gallon water. I have no clue how much beer that would add up to but that sounds pretty potent and probably a bit less horrific than a lot of the other recipes in this book.

Next up: Cider Making.

 

[Bosh]

I`m serious. I`d take that over the AG recipe with no base malt or the stout where the only dark ingredient is molassas or the one with two pounds of patent malt.

 

[slym2none]

Oh, I know it's serious. That's part of what makes it funny!

 

[WilliamSlayer]

only 8 days left before I make a 1 year anniversary video with another well aged BL!

I might watch that...

 

[Billy-Klubb]

I will watch that... twice even!

ftfy

 

[GonZolaB]

only 8 days left before I make a 1 year anniversary video with another well aged BL!

Nice! Can't wait to see it

 

[estricklin]

At an Irish Pub I go to.

 

[kombat]

At an Irish Pub I go to.

They're using the terms in the traditional English way. In old-timey England, stouts were strong beers and ales were lighter beers. In some places, "beer" was beer brewed with hops, while "ale" was beer brewed without hops.

The history of the terms are complicated and somewhat confusing, but they're not strictly speaking totally out to lunch. They're invoking the historical nostalgia of an authentic olde English public house.

 

[mcspanner]

only 8 days left before I make a 1 year anniversary video with another well aged BL!

Can you put some passion into this one? I was left uncertain about whether aged bud was worth the hassle last time.

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

Hosted my grandparents for most of the weekend. Grandfather only drinks light lagers. Here's some highlights:

*On tasting "Not Your Father's Root Beer"*
This is delicious, I'll need to pick up some of this before we head home. But I WON'T buy it cold, since we have a long drive and our cooler is full. Don't want it to skunk.

*On observing the 5.9% ABV*
Grandfather: That's pretty high.
Grandmother: How much is in beer?
Grandfather: You'll be lucky to get 4%. Most domestics are around that area.
Me: Yeah 5.9% is pretty high for a soda like this. What do you mean by "Domestic?"
Grandfather: You know, like Budweiser and Millers and Natty Lite, those are all around 4%. Unless you get a lager like Yuengling, but even Yuengling isn't this high.
Me: ...Yeah I guess that's right.
Grandfather: Domestics can't be more than 7% either.
Me: (only being able to take so much). I don't know about that. I can get a barleywine made in the US that's north of 10%
Grandfather: That's a wine though.
Me: It's technically a beer.
Grandfather: It sounds like a malt liquor if it's that high.
Me: ...alright.
Grandfather: Unless the stuff you're talking about is Canadian like Labatt Blue and stuff like that.

I love and respect the hell out of the guy but that whole conversation was painful.

 

[cyanmonkey]

Hosted my grandparents for most of the weekend. Grandfather only drinks light lagers. Here's some highlights:

*On tasting "Not Your Father's Root Beer"*
This is delicious, I'll need to pick up some of this before we head home. But I WON'T buy it cold, since we have a long drive and our cooler is full. Don't want it to skunk.

*On observing the 5.9% ABV*
Grandfather: That's pretty high.
Grandmother: How much is in beer?
Grandfather: You'll be lucky to get 4%. Most domestics are around that area.
Me: Yeah 5.9% is pretty high for a soda like this. What do you mean by "Domestic?"
Grandfather: You know, like Budweiser and Millers and Natty Lite, those are all around 4%. Unless you get a lager like Yuengling, but even Yuengling isn't this high.
Me: ...Yeah I guess that's right.
Grandfather: Domestics can't be more than 7% either.
Me: (only being able to take so much). I don't know about that. I can get a barleywine made in the US that's north of 10%
Grandfather: That's a wine though.
Me: It's technically a beer.
Grandfather: It sounds like a malt liquor if it's that high.
Me: ...alright.
Grandfather: Unless the stuff you're talking about is Canadian like Labatt Blue and stuff like that.

I love and respect the hell out of the guy but that whole conversation was painful.

Ohhhhhh I'm sure he thinks you sound stupid talking about certain stuff, too.

 

[Venari]

Just had a local who's getting into homebrewing ask me to taste test his wort and give my advice. Now, I'm no expert, but I was willing to help him out.

I looked in his carboy and asked where his sediment was, and why is there no krausen? A taste test (4 days into "fermenting") came up REALLY sweet. I assumed he loaded up on sugar to increase alcohol.

His answer to my first question was "oh, my stuff never has sediment, i'm that good".

He didn't put yeast in. I think he thought he had to age it.

I gave him my last packet of yeast (I'm not brewing anything else until I return to Ottawa) and told him to invite me over next week to check on it.

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

Ohhhhhh I'm sure he thinks you sound stupid talking about certain stuff, too.

Never said anything about stupid, but I have no doubt. Seeing as it was funny stuff about beer I thought I'd share