Funny things you've overheard about beer

[1977Brewer]

when I was pipe welding, you were only in the truck to get where you were going. the rest of the day was outside.

I have an office and 2 work trucks and my phone dies all the time. Well, it did, I upgraded. Thank God my company buys my phones.

 

[WesleyS]

That is the funniest gif I've seen in a while. Can't stop watching it and laughing.

 

[Kirkwooder]

when I was pipe welding, you were only in the truck to get where you were going. the rest of the day was outside.

I thought that you taste tested weapons grade plutonium for a living.........

 

[dkwolf]

You're in a vehicle...

Just plug it in.

Yes and no. I'm usually within 1/2 mile of my vehicle, but then you have days like the last three days of this week. Drive a mile, get out and check the intersection for drainage culverts, drive a half mile to a ridge and make a visual determination about which way water is flowing, etc.

Between Wednesday and Friday, it would not be an exaggeration to say I got in and out of my pickup 200+ times. If you think I'm going to plug in and unplug my phone that many times, you're nuts.

 

[n240sxguy]

View attachment 279921

Explain this.

At least it's not jelly belly flavored beer.

 

[n240sxguy]

Yes and no. I'm usually within 1/2 mile of my vehicle, but then you have days like the last three days of this week. Drive a mile, get out and check the intersection for drainage culverts, drive a half mile to a ridge and make a visual determination about which way water is flowing, etc.



Between Wednesday and Friday, it would not be an exaggeration to say I got in and out of my pickup 200+ times. If you think I'm going to plug in and unplug my phone that many times, you're nuts.

Maybe get one of the wireless charge pads. Or satellite radio.

 

[masonsjax]

Or just leave the phone in the car since there's no service anyway.

 

[burninator]

At least it's not jelly belly flavored beer.

Stop before you give people ideas.

 

[Trippel-A]

It's Austin. I was in the hipsteriest establishment in the hipsteriest part of town.

So, "no".

There's a hipstery place in Chicago with very good pizza, and also something called a PB&J. That's a PBR with a shot of Jameson on the side.

They are cash only, with an ATM inside that of course charges a $3 fee. If you show them your ATM receipt, they give you a free shot of whiskey, which sounded compensating. Tasted watered down, though.

 

[mark7347]

There's a hipstery place in Chicago with very good pizza, and also something called a PB&J. That's a PBR with a shot of Jameson on the side.

They are cash only, with an ATM inside that of course charges a $3 fee. If you show them your ATM receipt, they give you a free shot of whiskey, which sounded compensating. Tasted watered down, though.

I'm in Chicago. What place? Sounds about right. Wicker park?

 

[drainbamage]

A while back, my uncle had a doctor's appointment. He was fairly overweight, and with a history of diabetes on that side of the family, the doctor recommended losing some weight. My uncle decided to do Weight Watchers.

A few weeks later, I asked him how the diet was going:

"It sucks, but I at least figured out with the points I have, I can drink a 6-pack of beer every day, and eat 5 crackers when I get hungry."

 

[myelo]

So .... how many beers can you drink if you cut out the crackers?

 

[burninator]

So .... how many beers can you drink if you cut out the crackers?

He can drink another 12-pack of Mich Ultra.

 

[drainbamage]

I think he was basing it on Bud Light consumption. In real beers, it would probably be only 2 or 3.

 

[charliethebum]

"It sucks, but I at least figured out with the points I have, I can drink a 6-pack of beer every day, and eat 5 crackers when I get hungry."

Good stuff! That's almost sig worthy:fro:

 

[Bosh]

OK, let's finish up the partial mash chapter of Home Brewing Without Failures (cutting edge homebrewing in 1965) with a few stouts. Some of them even contain base malts! But overall analyzing them in depth would mostly be an exercise in "oh my God, that's a lot of black patent malt" "he's using THAT much black patent malt? WTF?" WHY WHY WHY would you use that much black patent malt" etc. etc.

Some gems:
-Because 2 pounds of black patent malt isn't enough to darken a stout, there's also a pound of treacle in one. Thinking of using that in a beer some day, like the richness I'm getting from the brown sugar in the mini half gallon batch of hard ice tea I'm brewing up, but seems like just a bit of overkill here.
-The milk stout contains glucose (2 pounds to go along with the 2 pounds of white sugar) instead of lactose, details details. I wonder what 2 pound of lactose would do to a beer? It has 1 pound of base malt though, so better than the last recipe. Also corn flakes for some reason.
-Oatmeal stout has six oz of oatmeal, nope no way the 2 lb of blank patent malt will overpower that.
-"Bravery's Own Stout" has only one pound of black malt! The best yet! However, it has no base malt whatsoever so you win some you lose some.

Lazy bastard, he keeps on repeating a lot of the same words over and over in the brewing instructions, it's really padding out the page count.

Oooooooh, there's one more recipe in the partial mash chapter after the Stouts With Far More Black Patent Malt Than Any Sane Man Would Use: it's Bravery's Best Better which has a completely different sort of idiocy involved.

 

[WesleyS]

Saw a guy online comment on a picture of DFH 120, saying it's the holy grail of IPAs. At least he prefaced that with the fact that he doesn't know IPAs.

 

[uatuba]

Saw a guy online comment on a picture of DFH 120, saying it's the holy grail of IPAs. At least he prefaced that with the fact that he doesn't know IPAs.

I'm not sure what is funny about this. Please elaborate.

 

[WesleyS]

I'm not sure what is funny about this. Please elaborate.

Really?
Seems odd to consider DFH 120 the "holy grail" of IPAs.

 

[GrogNerd]

Saw a guy online comment on a picture of DFH 120, saying it's the holy grail of IPAs. At least he prefaced that with the fact that he doesn't know IPAs.

I'm not sure what is funny about this. Please elaborate.

Really?
Seems odd to consider DFH 120 the "holy grail" of IPAs.

because, by the numbers, it's a barleywine

 

[slym2none]

View attachment 279921

Explain this.

Fat people rule?

*laughs hard enough to make belly jiggle*

 

[GuldTuborg]

because, by the numbers, it's a barleywine

Bug Dogfish calls it an IPA, and recommends you drink it from an IPA glass. Who are we to argue? Style generalizations are drawn from what manufacturers call their products. Yes, it works the other way to a large degree as well, but I don't think that's fully relevant here.

If the manufacturers word isn't good enough for you, places like Beeradvocate (e.g.) classify it as a double/imperial IPA. Yes, it is quite a bit different than other big IPAs, but that doesn't therefore make it something else.

 

[uatuba]

They call it, "The Holy Grail of IPAs" themselves.

 

[lowtones84]

Just got home to my parents' place to visit and go to Canada on a fishing trip with my dad. Started talking about beer.

Mom: I tried one in the basement a bit ago but it had turned into vinegar, so I had to dump it.
Me: Oh really? Was it one of mine or something else?
Mom: No it was one Morgan (cousin's husband) brought for you to try. It had like an old fashioned lady on it.
Me: Oh no, mom...it's supposed to be like that.

Goodbye bottle of Duchess De Bourgogne. A little sad, but I couldn't help but laugh.

 

[WesleyS]

Bug Dogfish calls it an IPA, and recommends you drink it from an IPA glass. Who are we to argue? Style generalizations are drawn from what manufacturers call their products. Yes, it works the other way to a large degree as well, but I don't think that's fully relevant here.



If the manufacturers word isn't good enough for you, places like Beeradvocate (e.g.) classify it as a double/imperial IPA. Yes, it is quite a bit different than other big IPAs, but that doesn't therefore make it something else.

They call it, "The Holy Grail of IPAs" themselves.

The brewery can call it what they want, they brewed it. Although it's not really much of an IPA, that's not the reason I find it funny for it to be considered the holy grail of IPAs. Can't you think of a lot of other IPAs that would fit that classification much better? Surely I can't be alone in this opinion.

 

[GuldTuborg]

Can't you think of a lot of other IPAs that would fit that classification much better? Surely I can't be alone in this opinion.

No, I can certainly think of more than a few IPAs I'd rather be drinking. I'm with you there.

I guess I'm just far too accustomed to people parroting manufacturers' marketing claims to find it humorous anymore.

 

[GrogNerd]

not arguing with anyone about what they call it or what it's called over on Beer Advocate

I was saying, if you brewed a clone recipe and entered it into competition, you would enter it in category 19C

because, BY THE NUMBERS, it fits the BJCP style guidelines for a barleywine more than it fits an IPA, or an IIPA

 

[uatuba]

The brewery can call it what they want, they brewed it. Although it's not really much of an IPA, that's not the reason I find it funny for it to be considered the holy grail of IPAs. Can't you think of a lot of other IPAs that would fit that classification much better? Surely I can't be alone in this opinion.

Wait...is it now fashionable to not like Dogfish Head? Because they used to be a brewery touted for quality and innovation among the widely distributed craft breweries. I may be behind the times, here.

Either way, I still enjoy their beers very much.

 

[WesleyS]

Wait...is it now fashionable to not like Dogfish Head? Because they used to be a brewery touted for quality and innovation among the widely distributed craft breweries. I may be behind the times, here.

Either way, I still enjoy their beers very much.

Yes. Very fashionable. Didn't you get the newsletter with the updated list of breweries that are no longer in?

 

[uatuba]

Yes. Very fashionable. Didn't you get the newsletter with the updated list of breweries that are no longer in?

I must have missed the memo. Not that it will impact my enjoyment of the product as it seemingly does for some others...