Funny things you've overheard about beer

[Psylocide]

I think I just died a little inside.

Had a new hire come through, they do this intro thing in the company newsletter where you list who you are/your hobbies etc.

Well, this guy has an apple orchard and specializes in making apple wine. I decided, "Awesome! Send this guy an email, hello fellow fermentor, what up?"

I told him I brew beer, this is word for word the first line of his email back:

"I do not care for dark beer so I have never tried to make beer."

/face

 

[Kirkwooder]

I think I just died a little inside.

Had a new hire come through, they do this intro thing in the company newsletter where you list who you are/your hobbies etc.

Well, this guy has an apple orchard and specializes in making apple wine. I decided, "Awesome! Send this guy an email, hello fellow fermentor, what up?"

I told him I brew beer, this is word for word the first line of his email back:

"I do not care for dark beer so I have never tried to make beer."

/face

Did your reply have " and the horse you road in on." at the end of it?

 

[Psylocide]

Did your reply have " and the horse you road in on." at the end of it?

He's just lucky I wasn't standing there in front of him when he said that.

My face wrinkled up three sizes that day.

 

[TheCADJockey]

Oh god, it is happening right this minute!!! I wish I could record this conversation. Two ladies at work talking and a sales guy joins in...

Lady 1: My husband wants me to start having a glass of wine with him at dinner. (derp?)

Lady 2: **glurrrrgggh** I love wine! I have this one, its like a zunfandell but its white. (wait, what?)

Lady 1: I just don't want the calories but if I did, I would drink white.

Lady 2: Yeah, thats why I drink Mich Ultra when I'm not drinking wine because its like no calories, but beer gets me so drunk. Like two of those mich ultra and I'm like woooo. But my friend drinks Sam Adams and she gave me one this one time and it tasted like apples. Girl I thought I was drunk just after one it was so crazy.

Lady 1: Why? Is it higher alcohol content?

Lady 2: Err..uh.

Guy: Yeah it is. Sam Adams is like a stout lager like guiness not an ale so it gets you drunk quicker.

 

[globe]

Wow thats one hell of a reply...Perhaps tell him you make apfelwein and its better when you make it from store bought juice not that fresh squeezed stuff?

 

[Psylocide]

Lawdy, that gif tho.

 

[Pyg]

I just spent like an hour mesmerized by this!
So much for being productive today!

 

[unionrdr]

Uh, yeah...slurp, gulp...we better have a meeting about that @ 11.

 

[SnakeRidge]

its like a zunfandell but its white. (wait, what?)

That reminds me of a time back in my server days....(reminisce with me)

I had a table of some very interesting individuals come in. The males all ordered Coors Lights, but one lady was insistent that she have some wine. The guys were giving her a hard time about it calling her fancy pants and all that. She got a little flustered at the ribbing and turned to me for help.

"I want a glass of red wine," she says.

"Sure, we have a very nice Cabernet, as well as..."

"No," she interrupts, "that stuff gets you too drunk. I want a light red, like a Pinot Grigio." (I'm translating from her native Backass South Carolina accent)

I'm trying not to laugh so the guys won't start up on her again, but I really couldn't come up with anything other than, "Well, that's a white, but I'll be happy to get you a glass."

She looked at me embarrassed turning to true anger and just kept repeating in her backass SC accent 'I want a Peanut Gree chee oh, bring me a red Peanut Gree chee OH!' She was actually banging her fists on the table. I brought her a glass of Cab, and she goes 'See? Was that so hard?' and glared at me the rest of the meal. Fun times.

 

[TheCADJockey]

Lawdy, that gif tho.

I just spent like an hour mesmerized by this!
So much for being productive today!

That reminds me of a time back in my server days....(reminisce with me)

Way to trick me into staring at my own gif for 10 minutes...

Yeah heard that @Snakeridge people are horrible. The restaurant I cooked at for a few years asked me to cook and wait on tables one time when it was slow for ****s and giggles. I wanted to stab people. Never again.

 

[SnakeRidge]

Maybe this goes in the 'Things about your coworkers thread' but after waiting tables, washing dishes, and cooking in restaurants for 10 years I really want to stab people at work now that think everything is a hassle. I just think to myself, "Well, a pre-diabetic mouth breathing land walrus didn't try to stab you with a fork, so no, work does not suck today. Sorry you had to put paper in the printer cause I was at lunch, but you managed"

 

[CreamyGoodness]

That reminds me of a time back in my server days....(reminisce with me)

I had a table of some very interesting individuals come in. The males all ordered Coors Lights, but one lady was insistent that she have some wine. The guys were giving her a hard time about it calling her fancy pants and all that. She got a little flustered at the ribbing and turned to me for help.

"I want a glass of red wine," she says.

"Sure, we have a very nice Cabernet, as well as..."

"No," she interrupts, "that stuff gets you too drunk. I want a light red, like a Pinot Grigio." (I'm translating from her native Backass South Carolina accent)

I'm trying not to laugh so the guys won't start up on her again, but I really couldn't come up with anything other than, "Well, that's a white, but I'll be happy to get you a glass."

She looked at me embarrassed turning to true anger and just kept repeating in her backass SC accent 'I want a Peanut Gree chee oh, bring me a red Peanut Gree chee OH!' She was actually banging her fists on the table. I brought her a glass of Cab, and she goes 'See? Was that so hard?' and glared at me the rest of the meal. Fun times.

It might be time to admit to ourselves that democracy is a terrible idea...

 

[unionrdr]

That one's beyond " You might be a redneck". Pinot is a white, sheez. I'm city & country, even I know that much as a beer guzzling, bourbon shlorking...part-time redneck.

 

[GrogNerd]

I would much prefer everything being decided by a bunch of backass idiots and not by some elitist pinheads who think they should be the ones who decide what's best for everyone

And why is it always those who think things should be decided by a few are always the ones who think they should be among those few?

 

[SnakeRidge]

Everybody is equal. Some people are just more equal than others.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Ok Ok I'll concede you that... but in a perfect world that chick wouldnt be voting. Her and the guy who called the cops because he thought his neighbors tomato plants were an elaborate marijuana operation would be banned from the polls and compelled to wear protective headwear for their own safety and in preservation of American insurance premiums.

 

[wobrien]

At least the Econ derail didn't get us banished to the debate forum...

 

[Kirkwooder]

That reminds me of a time back in my server days....(reminisce with me)

I had a table of some very interesting individuals come in. The males all ordered Coors Lights, but one lady was insistent that she have some wine. The guys were giving her a hard time about it calling her fancy pants and all that. She got a little flustered at the ribbing and turned to me for help.

"I want a glass of red wine," she says.

"Sure, we have a very nice Cabernet, as well as..."

"No," she interrupts, "that stuff gets you too drunk. I want a light red, like a Pinot Grigio." (I'm translating from her native Backass South Carolina accent)

I'm trying not to laugh so the guys won't start up on her again, but I really couldn't come up with anything other than, "Well, that's a white, but I'll be happy to get you a glass."

She looked at me embarrassed turning to true anger and just kept repeating in her backass SC accent 'I want a Peanut Gree chee oh, bring me a red Peanut Gree chee OH!' She was actually banging her fists on the table. I brought her a glass of Cab, and she goes 'See? Was that so hard?' and glared at me the rest of the meal. Fun times.

Peanut greeze, ain't that the brown stuff you spread on bread with jelly?

 

[masonsjax]

Uh oh, sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays.

 

[Hamaki]

Was at a restaurant in Virginia & ordered a glass of zinfandel; they brought me a white. I asked the waitress why she didn't bring me a zin she said she did, white zin, apparently unaware there was any other kind. I asked her to check, which she did, and they had none. I sent it back, they didn't charge, no real harm done.

 

[ElJefeBrews]

compelled to wear protective headwear for their own safety and in preservation of American insurance premiums.

Personally I think we need to let natural selection run its course. The human gene pool is getting too weak. And that'll leave more beer for us

 

[kombat]

Uh oh, sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays.

Tell me about it. Hey man, can I borrow your stapler? Whooo-wee! She's a beauty! What is this, a Swingline? I didn't know they came in red. I'll bring it right back.

 

[SnakeRidge]

Can you have a case of the Mondays on Thursday? Cause I've got that.

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

Didn't you get the memo?

 

[hunter_le five]

 

[Psylocide]

Was at a restaurant in Virginia & ordered a glass of zinfandel; they brought me a white. I asked the waitress why she didn't bring me a zin she said she did, white zin, apparently unaware there was any other kind. I asked her to check, which she did, and they had none. I sent it back, they didn't charge, no real harm done.

I'd be more concerned that she actually brought wine instead of beer, even after she saw that I was a dude.

 

[Hamaki]

I'd be more concerned that she actually brought wine instead of beer, even after she saw that I was a dude.

Their beer selection sucked and living in an area known for zins I've developed a taste. I've also been known to hold my wife's purse for her and buy tampons while grocery shopping without feeling like a girly-man. I don't do the group trip to the men's room so don't ask.

 

[Kee]

Their beer selection sucked and living in an area known for zins I've developed a taste. I've also been known to hold my wife's purse for her and buy tampons while grocery shopping without feeling like a girly-man. I don't do the group trip to the men's room so don't ask.

I'll take good wine over mediocre beer.

 

[SupervisingChildren]

http://www.blogaboutbeer.com/the-top-5-beers-in-the-world/

Agreed.

 

[hunter_le five]

I'll take beer over no beer.

Unless the wine is free.