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Funny things you've overheard about beer

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Nothin' I heard, but trying to keep this dog off OUR favorite beer is hilarious. Any other brew, and he is not interested. But this particular goto pale recipe of mine gets his socks off. I literally have to tell him "don't drink my beer" to make him chill. Lol. Posted this elsewhere incase you lurk as much as I do ;-)

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Our military in their infinite wisdom. .... more than 2 beers at a time or more than 6 in a month means you are an alcoholic and can be sent to treatment! I guess that makes a lot of us alcoholics. I am not sure if that is for all branches but the standard for the Marine Unit my son is in.
 
Yeah, I remember that stuff from when my brother was in the marines in the early 70's. Two a day from a machine on base. They also had these tiny packs of smokes with something like 4 in the pack.
 
Employee at a local liquor store when buying a 10% ABV DIPA:

CLERK: "You should buy two. Drink one now, and drink the other in a month."
ME: "Why?"
CLERK: "High alcohol beers age well, just like wine. Except beers will increase their alcohol content the longer they sit. That one will be 15% ABV a month from now."
 
Employee at a local liquor store when buying a 10% ABV DIPA:

CLERK: "You should buy two. Drink one now, and drink the other in a month."
ME: "Why?"
CLERK: "High alcohol beers age well, just like wine. Except beers will increase their alcohol content the longer they sit. That one will be 15% ABV a month from now."

ermehflerkerngerb! and people wonder why I hate people.
 
So you were next to a half-drunk female who was stuck with you for several hours, who was clearly interested in engaging with you, and your instinct was to shut her out? Because she likes Shock Top?

Hah! No, I'm not that hard to get, but (1) I am happily married and (2) she was not hot, and most importantly, she looked like she would be a really chatty drunk and I just wasn't into carrying on some inane conversation for two and a half hours.

It was also a pretty good book - last book of the Century Trilogy.

(is that enough excuses??? :)
 
Hah! No, I'm not that hard to get, but (1) I am happily married and (2) she was not hot, and most importantly, she looked like she would be a really chatty drunk and I just wasn't into carrying on some inane conversation for two and a half hours.

It was also a pretty good book - last book of the Century Trilogy.

(is that enough excuses??? :)

that is all the reason you need.:mug:
 
Employee at a local liquor store when buying a 10% ABV DIPA:

CLERK: "You should buy two. Drink one now, and drink the other in a month."
ME: "Why?"
CLERK: "High alcohol beers age well, just like wine. Except beers will increase their alcohol content the longer they sit. That one will be 15% ABV a month from now."
That's like stupid people.

Take a stupid person and visit them a month later and they will be a genius.

Watch the store clerk nod his head yes.
 
Our military in their infinite wisdom. .... more than 2 beers at a time or more than 6 in a month means you are an alcoholic and can be sent to treatment! I guess that makes a lot of us alcoholics. I am not sure if that is for all branches but the standard for the Marine Unit my son is in.

I don't suppose it would do any good to show your CO this article:

http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/...alcoholics-may-almost-alcoholics-201411217539

It's from Harvard, so it can't be wrong!
 
I am currently at a bar. Just asked the tender what is on tap. They have the following. Miller lite and Yuengling Oktoberfest. And what makes it worse is they have these huge tap toadstools with nothing on them.

Wow DJ, I haven't been in a bar for 5 years and nothing has changed!
 
What about question one, was never your answer there too? That's the funniest one I've heard all day
 
What about question one, was never your answer there too? That's the funniest one I've heard all day

Haha. That would be pretty impressive if I managed to get to 7 and answered "never" to question 1.

I looked at the quiz again and realized that questions that I thought had "zero" as an answer actually had "never." :drunk:

So I guess my revised statement is:
Every single non-number/frequency-related answer that had "never" as an option was "never." :D
 
I don't suppose it would do any good to show your CO this article:

http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/...alcoholics-may-almost-alcoholics-201411217539

It's from Harvard, so it can't be wrong!

Well this is bs. I only scored a 4. Apparently I have more work to do! :mug: Of course it doesn't help that I have not been able to brew in 6 months.

Not my CO it would be my sons. I do understand why with the readiness he has to maintain with the unit he is in and I think that he said it was a military wide SOP. so going to his CO would not be a good idea.
 
PS if you read the article about health concerns and still drinking. .... what a bunch of crap. That doesn't mean that you have a problem at all some of us are just realists and know that everyone is going to die and you might as well have fun doing things that make you happy on your way. I don't understand the need to live till your 110. If I am not able to get around and take care of myself I don't want to keep living. After almost 6 months of barely being able to take care of myself that is one thing that has definitely been reenforced in my mind. Pull the plug!
 
5 or 9. Depends if you count the coworkers who say "5 gallons? You gotta slow down!" as "Has a relative or friend, or a doctor or other health care worker, expressed concern about your drinking and suggest you cut down?" Since they're talking about production amounts I'm going to have to say that "No" is a more accurate answer.
 
Just so we're clear, when they ask: "Has a relative or friend, or a doctor or other health care worker, expressed concern about your drinking and suggest you cut down?", that doesn't include wives, right?
 
I'm seriously thinking about walking around the craft beer sections in some liquor stores and just regurgitating some of the funny stuff y'all have heard and stuff inspired but such nonsense. "It gets stronger in alcohol as it ages" "It's pronounced Eepah" "I don't like Blue Moon or other dark beers" "Stout is not a beer! It's an ale." "If you cut the top off a can of Guinness, it will come out in chunks that you can cut." "I don't like hoppy beers like Blue Moon (as I'm picking up a IIPA)"
 
I'm seriously thinking about walking around the craft beer sections in some liquor stores and just regurgitating some of the funny stuff y'all have heard and stuff inspired but such nonsense. "It gets stronger in alcohol as it ages" "It's pronounced Eepah" "I don't like Blue Moon or other dark beers" "Stout is not a beer! It's an ale." "If you cut the top off a can of Guinness, it will come out in chunks that you can cut." "I don't like hoppy beers like Blue Moon (as I'm picking up a IIPA)"

You may be onto some good video there.
 
I'm seriously thinking about walking around the craft beer sections in some liquor stores and just regurgitating some of the funny stuff y'all have heard and stuff inspired but such nonsense. "It gets stronger in alcohol as it ages" "It's pronounced Eepah" "I don't like Blue Moon or other dark beers" "Stout is not a beer! It's an ale." "If you cut the top off a can of Guinness, it will come out in chunks that you can cut." "I don't like hoppy beers like Blue Moon (as I'm picking up a IIPA)"

Having a couple of cold ones with my brother in Orlando...
My brother: "Guinness is not even a beer, it's a Stout"
Me: WTF???:drunk:
 
PS if you read the article about health concerns and still drinking. .... what a bunch of crap. That doesn't mean that you have a problem at all some of us are just realists and know that everyone is going to die and you might as well have fun doing things that make you happy on your way. I don't understand the need to live till your 110. If I am not able to get around and take care of myself I don't want to keep living. After almost 6 months of barely being able to take care of myself that is one thing that has definitely been reenforced in my mind. Pull the plug!

Easy to say, but both of my parents got into health situations where there was no "pull the plug" option and it has created significant burden for the rest of us to take care of them. Crazy stressful, and I'm pretty pissed at my parents for being too selfish to save money, have insurance, etc.

I'm not saying that you're doing the same as my parents. But just remember there is a lot of space between your independence and a point where there is a plug that can be pulled, and in that space, you need support. If you don't prepare for that, then you WILL become a massive burden on your loved ones. Plain and simple.
 
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