Funny things you've overheard about beer

[Temptd2]

This is a brewer's forum. It isn't how much you can drink, it's how well you can brew!

THANK you, JohnSand! I knew I liked you! :rockin:

We do some pretty decent brewing, if I do say so myself.

And now I'm going to myself before someone else beats me to it.

Back to "funny things you've overheard about beer" - how about, it makes your hair shiny? (I believe that is if it is applied to the OUTSIDE, not the INSIDE of the hair....)

 

[Keith66]

The only reason I drink beer is to empty bottles and make my hair shiny.

 

[opiate82]

So I was having lunch with my Mom when my wife called asking me how to activate a Wyeast smack pack, this is what my Mom overheard:

"You just need to smack the package really hard"

"Don't worry, you can be pretty violent with it without the it exploding everywhere"

"Just smack the package between your hands till the thing inside pops"

"Okay, now just shake it really good"

"It will start to swell up like a balloon, that is normal"

 

[Keith66]

A picture of your mom's face while listening to this would be priceless!

 

[BeerGrylls]

So I was having lunch with my Mom when my wife called asking me how to activate a Wyeast smack pack, this is what my Mom overheard:

"You just need to smack the package really hard"

"Don't worry, you can be pretty violent with it without the it exploding everywhere"

"Just smack the package between your hands till the thing inside pops"

"Okay, now just shake it really good"

"It will start to swell up like a balloon, that is normal"

That .. is .. awesome. The fact that your wife called to ask you about this in the first place is awesome too. :rockin:

 

[Temptd2]

What is your wife making?

Love the one-sided convo - bet your Mom was going, "Huh??!! Smack WHAT?"

 

[opiate82]

She isn't making anything, just playing brewers assistant for me so I can get a starter fired up as soon as I get home from work.

Oh, and my Mom's response after I got off the phone was "you do realize how dirty that sounded from my end, right?"

 

[Temptd2]

What a good wife!

And LOL at what your Mom said.

 

[BreezyBrew]

I'm at a brewery and someone just asked for "specials"... Say wha? Everything is cheap... It's a brewery

 

[opiate82]

I'm at a brewery and someone just asked for "specials"... Say wha? Everything is cheap... It's a brewery

Both the breweries I go to, their "specials" are either food or beer selections that aren't normally on the menu. Not necessarily something at a discounted price.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

How do you handle lifting 5 gallons of wort?! Thats like half your weight

us scrawny folk are like ants, lifting stuff you wouldn't believe.:rockin:

 

[finsfan]

us scrawny folk are like ants, lifting stuff you wouldn't believe.:rockin:

Hey im with you man. I was scrawny in HS at 6'1'' and 145 even trying my hardest to gain weight, but my metabolism has caught up to me now. Still feel small at 180 for my height, but im getting there

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Hey im with you man. I was scrawny in HS at 6'1'' and 145 even trying my hardest to gain weight, but my metabolism has caught up to me now. Still feel small at 180 for my height, but im getting there

last time I weighed myself (3-4 weeks ago), I was at 118. every time I get sick, I drop weight like crazy and have a hard time gaining it back.


the other day my boss said he doesn't drink "any of the hard stuff. just beer". he drinks some kinda BMC light, so I was giving him a hard time and asked when he was gonna start drinking beer. we both laughed a little. another coworker said in his famous as-a-matter-of-fact tone, "Some of us don't like drinking syrup." as y'all might guess, I didn't handle that in the most diplomatic fashion possible as I replied, "Yeah, some of us have the BALLS to handle beer that isn't over carbonated yellow water. When are you growing yours?" our boss laughed a little harder.

 

[FatDragon]

Hey im with you man. I was scrawny in HS at 6'1'' and 145 even trying my hardest to gain weight, but my metabolism has caught up to me now. Still feel small at 180 for my height, but im getting there

I would love to weigh 180. I have reached sub-200 maybe twice in the last decade. I'm 6'2" and usually somewhere in between the right and the wrong kind of 220lb. Engagement photos are this weekend, so I'm doing about 1250 well-chosen calories a day and exercising daily this week - three and a half days and about five pounds down so far, but I could kill to crack open a homebrew right now.

On topic, "black coffee and pilsners are too bitter for human consumption".

 

[amfukuda]

But those are both my favorites


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[Gameface]

On topic, "black coffee and pilsners are too bitter for human consumption".

Sure, for "normal" humans. Some of us are special.

 

[drainbamage]

On topic, "black coffee and pilsners are too bitter for human consumption".

Haha sure, add a buttload of cream and sugar to your coffee. That'll make it better for you.

 

[DrunkleJon]

I must be one of those 'special' people. The only way I will drink coffee is if it is black as night. I heard an old timer once say that it isn't a cup of coffee unless you can dissolve a horse shoe in it.

And I like pilsners, and lagers, and stouts, and...

 

[GrogNerd]

when we had a drip coffeemaker, I loved that beginning of the drip bitter goodness & wished the whole pot was like that. but I also add some Splenda because I like a little sweetness to balance the bitterness

hmmm... I wonder what else that could apply to?

 

[DrunkleJon]

when we had a drip coffeemaker, I loved that beginning of the drip bitter goodness & wished the whole pot was like that. but I also add some Splenda because I like a little sweetness to balance the bitterness

hmmm... I wonder what else that could apply to?

hehehe... reminds me of this commercial

[ame]http://youtu.be/BOP5PBIghhc[/ame]

I think I found an avatar

 

[splattsmier]

At 6'2 and struggling to stay above 160 I feel your pain. I drink most days and eat like a horse, but manual labor burns a LOT of calories. Maybe my new distributor gig will be a little less physical and I can put on some more ell-bees

 

[Temptd2]

At 6'2 and struggling to stay above 160 I feel your pain. I drink most days and eat like a horse, but manual labor burns a LOT of calories. Maybe my new distributor gig will be a little less physical and I can put on some more ell-bees

And just when I was starting to like you.

If I moved around more, I could drink more beer. Hmmm. Nah. One's enough.

Another funny thing I overheard about beer - "Beer will make you FAT!"

Oh wait. That's not funny.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

And just when I was starting to like you.

If I moved around more, I could drink more beer. Hmmm. Nah. One's enough.

Another funny thing I overheard about beer - "Beer will make you FAT!"

Oh wait. That's not funny.

it is to me!

 

[cpl-america]

I wish I could stay under 200. I'm 5'6 and 185 at scrawny 230 at muscular. And I am at 206 walking around.

England has proved to me that beer doesn't make you fat, it's the snacks you have have with it. These scrawny bastards live in the pub. But to be fair, without things like walmart. They actually have to walk good distances from car parks.

Sent from my GT-N5110 using Home Brew mobile app

 

[FatDragon]

On topic, "black coffee and pilsners are too bitter for human consumption".

Now the same guy says he drinks IPAs. Is there something I'm missing? If pilsner is too bitter, how is India Pale Ale drinkable?

 

[redkj]

How have the BMCesque Breckenridge commercials not made this thread yet:



There's a handful of these all directed and various ad campaigns.

 

[BeerGrylls]

How have the BMCesque Breckenridge commercials not made this thread yet:


There's a handful of these all directed and various ad campaigns.

Now that's funny right there. "It's cold!"

 

[EdMerican]

At my favorite watering hole (91 beers on tap) with some boys from work the other night... service is generally terrible without our regular bartender who also happens to be the manager and cicerone... So we sit at our table and wait for someone to come by... and wait... and wait... so I eventually go to the bar to order a round. Guy in front of me looks about 27-33ish, in my age bracket, (and I feel it somewhat appropriate to mention he has a trucker hat on with the brim about 30 degrees off center and the hat is not squarely on his stupid head and he is sporting and Affliction T-shirt), sets down his empty bottle of Budweiser and orders an O'Fallon 5 day IPA.

Guy down the bar say "oh, man, that's a good beer. That's what I got."

Affliction asshead says "oh, yeah. I totally LOVE IPAS. And besides, they're like 6 or 7 percent versus a Bud or something at more like 4 or 5 or so. And at the price right now, ($2/pint special) its a total no-brainer."

I find it funny and sad. I kind of wanted to smash the guys face into the bar. I also love a good IPA and for those of us in the Greater St. Louis area know, O'fallon makes a solid IPA. But to suck it down simply for the fact of getting loaded faster is an affront to the brewer who designed and crafted it, and to people who want to visit (what can be) a great beer bar and have a variety of some fantastic beers.

Am I the only one who feels like this way or am I just to angry of a person in general? The guy is clearly old enough to have gone past the frat boy "Hey, dude lets drink like 12 beers in 12 minutes and see what happens" phase/mentality.

 

[CavemanDom]

A coworker raided the cooler looking for something to drink. (a cooler that belonged to a different company) It was a hot day. He came back with a Sierra Nevada pale ale. Another said "are you crazy? Drinking beer on the job?"
He replied "it's not beer it's ale"
A half hour later he said, "hey man, I think you were right"




Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[Gameface]

At my favorite watering hole (91 beers on tap) with some boys from work the other night... service is generally terrible without our regular bartender who also happens to be the manager and cicerone... So we sit at our table and wait for someone to come by... and wait... and wait... so I eventually go to the bar to order a round. Guy in front of me looks about 27-33ish, in my age bracket, (and I feel it somewhat appropriate to mention he has a trucker hat on with the brim about 30 degrees off center and the hat is not squarely on his stupid head and he is sporting and Affliction T-shirt), sets down his empty bottle of Budweiser and orders an O'Fallon 5 day IPA.

Guy down the bar say "oh, man, that's a good beer. That's what I got."

Affliction asshead says "oh, yeah. I totally LOVE IPAS. And besides, they're like 6 or 7 percent versus a Bud or something at more like 4 or 5 or so. And at the price right now, ($2/pint special) its a total no-brainer."

I find it funny and sad. I kind of wanted to smash the guys face into the bar. I also love a good IPA and for those of us in the Greater St. Louis area know, O'fallon makes a solid IPA. But to suck it down simply for the fact of getting loaded faster is an affront to the brewer who designed and crafted it, and to people who want to visit (what can be) a great beer bar and have a variety of some fantastic beers.

Am I the only one who feels like this way or am I just to angry of a person in general? The guy is clearly old enough to have gone past the frat boy "Hey, dude lets drink like 12 beers in 12 minutes and see what happens" phase/mentality.

Hey, ethanol mL/$ is serious stuff.