Funny things you've overheard about beer

[DrunkleJon]

I like to pretend these myths about Guinness are possibly some amazingly subtle marketing strategies.

Its got a lot of alcohamol? Gimmiegimmiegimmie.

Heavily concentrated regular beer? This stuff must be awesome.

You can survive off of Guinness and an orange? Well, I had better acquire a taste for it.


Amusing. I do seem to remember when I first started drinking it did seem much heavier bodied. Now that I am more widely beer cultured than BMC and Guinness I notice how dry it is. I still will drink it and still find myself having the occasional BMC.


Here is my submission that is on topic
Upon being asked by my neighbors (college age) kid yesterday how my beermaking is going. I told him what all was fermenting and he asked what apfelwein is. He then asked me if it would be easier to just add vodka to the apple juice.

Edit - sounded like I was talking with a 10 year old

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I like to pretend these myths about Guinness are possibly some amazingly subtle marketing strategies.

Its got a lot of alcohamol? Gimmiegimmiegimmie.

Heavily concentrated regular beer? This stuff must be awesome.

You can survive off of Guinness and an orange? Well, I had better acquire a taste for it.


Amusing. I do seem to remember when I first started drinking it did seem much heavier bodied. Now that I am more widely beer cultured than BMC and Guinness I notice how dry it is. I still will drink it and still find myself having the occasional BMC.


Here is my submission that is on topic
Upon being asked by my neighbors (college age) kid yesterday how my beermaking is going. I told him what all was fermenting and he asked what apfelwein is. He then asked me if it would be easier to just add vodka to the apple juice.

Edit - sounded like I was talking with a 10 year old

"Why, yes, adding vodka to applejuice is easier than fermenting sugar and applejuice together. It will not, however, make apfelwein."

 

[whitehause]

100% real conversation I had tonight with two guys buying a classic car I had for sale. The deal is done, and we are just shooting the bull and the guy buying it(who lives 1/2 a mile away) says I should stop by sometime for a beer and see his 32 ford 5 window.

Now these aren't kids, they are grown men in their late 40's early 50's

Me "Speaking of beer, you guys want a beer? All I have right now is IPA's"

them " What's IPA?"

Ok...not going to be a snob or a dick, not everyone knows what IPA's are.

Me " They tend to have a lot of hops, and if your not used to them you might not like it, but I'll get you one"

Them " hops?....what are hops?"

Me " umm...yea...nevermind, you won't like it, we'll go out and grab one sometime."

 

[Fizzycist]

Me " umm...yea...nevermind, you won't like it, we'll go out and grab one sometime."

On one hand that could have been an opportunity to blow their minds, but I probably woulda done the same. Lots of people don't like having their minds blown open.

 

[mtnagel]

It would have just been a wasted beer(s) because I'm sure they wouldn't have liked it.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Thats why when introducing someone to a new beer or homebrew you always start with a good 'swaller' worth and give them the rest if they like it. But, yeah, if someone is uncertain what hops are, usually they will not enjoy an IPA

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I've heard of people thinking that hops are a grain. When you think about it, its not all that dumb a misconception.

 

[jhoneycutt]

Told to me over the weekend after letting a friend of a friend taste my lhbs hopslam clone that didnt carb properly " him: it tastes like a pale ale but um stronger. Me: it is in fact it's called an India pale ale. Him: I usually like to drink those at ______ ( the local Indian restaurant) it makes the whole experience more authentic" lol just had to let it simmer a while.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Yeah that comment had a Cliff from Cheers ring to it.

 

[jhoneycutt]

Lol

 

[GrogNerd]

well, actually, Normie...

 

[CreamyGoodness]

The thing about India Pail Ales you have to remember is that Indian people brought them over from India in huge buckets. I dont know how sanitary that is.

 

[DrunkleJon]

The thing about India Pail Ales you have to remember is that Indian people brought them over from India in huge buckets. I dont know how sanitary that is.

I always use my empties to make sand castles or collect sand fleas at the beach.

 

[croakerj]

Haha, good one

 

[McBrewskie]

I overheard the manager of a liquor store - a rather large location, with a great selection and a number of locations in the area - telling a customer that cider is beer that they add apple juice to. And this was during a tasting of a new cider they started carrying.
Facepalm.

Oh my. I'd be hard pressed not to correct him immediately in front of everyone like a total *******.

 

[McBrewskie]

Ordered a thunderhead IPA, selection was terrible, at this place. Took a couple sips. Called the bartender over and said

Me: "this is bad"
Bartender Lady: "oh you don't like it I can get you something else?"
Me: "well yes I'll take something else, but this is an IPA and it tastes sour and borderline moldy"
Bartender Lady: "oh yeah we get that"
Me: "wait, what?"
Bartender Lady: "yeah most people don't say anything but yeah some do and I think it tastes wierd so I just get them something else"
Me: "How often do you clean your lines?"
Bartender Lady: "what do you mean?"
Me: "Nevermind I'll go ahead and have that Red Stripe in the bottle"

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Bless her heart.

 

[Keith66]

I'd be hard pressed...

I can't believe it took me this long to get that. Nice one!

 

[Keith66]

"Beer makes you smart... It made Bud wiser!" It was funny when I first heard it a few decades ago. Unfortunately Bud didn't learn how to brew his beer any better.

 

[whitehause]

"Beer makes you smart... It made Bud wiser!" It was funny when I first heard it a few decades ago. Unfortunately Bud didn't learn how to brew his beer any better.

Beer does not make you smart....just ask my wife.

 

[whitehause]

Thats why when introducing someone to a new beer or homebrew you always start with a good 'swaller' worth and give them the rest if they like it. But, yeah, if someone is uncertain what hops are, usually they will not enjoy an IPA

I'm going to fire up BM's Cream of three crops for just such an instance.

Funny thing is when I told my wife (who hates beer) I was going to do a "BMCish" beer she said "why...If they're wussies that can't handle what you have on tap they can bring their own"

I'm so proud...snif snif....I could almost cry.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Oh my. I'd be hard pressed not to correct him immediately in front of everyone like a total *******.

oh snap! and I have been the a-hole that made the other guy/gal look like a total a-hole in front of groups before. nothing wrong with correcting misinformation to the masses.



and beer may not make me smart, but it does make me a smart ass. more than normal.

 

[unionrdr]

Well,they think we're being smarta$$es. I don't see it that way,being an English major. Comm 1 & 2 in college were more interesting. Rather amusingly similar to the bar explanation bit. All through school,they taught us formal English,right? Well,by the time I got to college,in communications 2 they taught us to right the way we speak. Just learn to speak correctly.
Oh boy,did I have some fun with that one...

 

[BrasseurGeorges]

Yeah, it's definitely drier than a riesling, which is a dessert wine, but so are all reds.

*Moves post to "funny things you've heard about wine" thread...*

 

[Keith66]

*Moves post to "funny things you've heard about wine" thread...*

*Moves post to "funny off-topic objections" thread...*

 

[CreamyGoodness]

*Moves post to "funny off-topic objections" thread...*

*Jams a finger up his nostril and sings "the wrong way to tickle mary"*

 

[Billy-Klubb]

*puts everything back where it was and bares his 12 teeth*

 

[Keith66]

*takes this conversation to the tap room where it belongs so we can get back to funny things you've heard about beer*

 

[Vellum]

Alright, funny to me at the time...
I'm standing in the bottle shop and I overhear a lady asking her husband what kind of beer he liked, light or dark?
And it occurred to me that there are more than two kinds of beer. It was just kind of an ah ha / funny moment for me. We often refer to light or dark to describe beer but there is so much more to it. I was thinking a better place to start is ale or lager. Just cracked me up in the bottle shop, maybe you had to be there.

 

[Mongrel]

Heard this from an owner of a brewery that has a hop cone very predominantly featured in their logo. Apparently his staff are somewhat regularly asked if it's an artichoke.