Funny things you've overheard about beer

[Skeptidelphian]

Quite a bit of smug.

There is a difference between someone who is ignorant of beer simply because they have not been exposes, and someone who thinks they are the "beer guy" yet is woefully misinformed.

I used to be the former, I never turned down a beer and remember my first non-macro, Julius Echter Hefeweizen. Since then I've become a beer encyclopedia. I'm always willing to teach beer and the craft of brewing to anyone.

The latter tend to be hopeless. Guys who tell you that Guinness is a meal in a glass. Or think that because they drink regular Budweiser they're king beer. They don't want to hear it.

 

[Leadgolem]

Friend: Hey, you brew your own?
Me: Yup
Friend: What you makin?
Me: I've got some hard apple cider going at the moment.
Friend: Ok, just be careful. You could go blind drinking that stuff.

 

[Punity]

Friend: Hey, you brew your own?
Me: Yup
Friend: What you makin?
Me: I've got some hard apple cider going at the moment.
Friend: Ok, just be careful. You could go blind drinking that stuff.

Stop filtering it through a radiator

 

[highgravitybacon]

Quite a bit of smug.

No kidding. If you want a Real beer, get a Gennesse Cream Ale. Now that's a beer. The fizzy piss BMC people don't know what they're missing. Personally, when I want a meal in a can, I drink some tomato soup and save my spoon for using with some Camo.

 

[Charlton]

Hello can any one help me, it's my first home brew and I've went for lager beer, how long should it ferment for? And would it make much difference to the flavour if I didn't rinse the steriliser solution off my equipment properly or could this do me damage? If possible could you rite me a guide step by step what to do as I'm confused off reading so much off the net, how long will it take to ferment, do I bottle str8 after and leave? Is so how long or do I leave in barrel for a week? Thanks

 

[SiriusStarr]

Hello can any one help me, it's my first home brew and I've went for lager beer, how long should it ferment for? And would it make much difference to the flavour if I didn't rinse the steriliser solution off my equipment properly or could this do me damage? If possible could you rite me a guide step by step what to do as I'm confused off reading so much off the net, how long will it take to ferment, do I bottle str8 after and leave? Is so how long or do I leave in barrel for a week? Thanks

In the unlikely event that you are serious and not trolling (since you posted the same exact message in two places), this is not the appropriate place for your questions and I apologize for any perceived rudeness on my part. Please read the stickies in the beginner's section and then create a new thread if you have any unanswered questions.

 

[Akavango]

Hello can any one help me, it's my first home brew and I've went for lager beer, how long should it ferment for? And would it make much difference to the flavour if I didn't rinse the steriliser solution off my equipment properly or could this do me damage? If possible could you rite me a guide step by step what to do as I'm confused off reading so much off the net, how long will it take to ferment, do I bottle str8 after and leave? Is so how long or do I leave in barrel for a week? Thanks

You are in the wrong thread here for this question. Would suggest that you start a new thread in the beginner's corner.

 

[KuntzBrewing]

When someone claims to pick hops or malts out of a BMC light beer, I assume they are bull sh!tters. They would have to be as good as a sharks sense of smell to detect that. And sharks can detect a drop of blood a mile away....

 

[jlb307]

"why can't you make something good....like coors light."

 

[craigger64]

Upon learning that I brew at home: "Oh, is it cheaper that way?"

My response: "Brewing your own to save money on beer is like buying a boat to save money on fish"

 

[fury556]

Now now, you know that's not true. Considering I would spend $50 at Total Wine & more and only come home with maybe 18-20 12oz bottles I'd say I do save a fair ammount of money, unless you factor in the time & labor.

Upon learning that I brew at home: "Oh, is it cheaper that way?"

My response: "Brewing your own to save money on beer is like buying a boat to save money on fish"

 

[GrogNerd]

Hello can any one help me, it's my first home brew and I've went for lager beer, how long should it ferment for? And would it make much difference to the flavour if I didn't rinse the steriliser solution off my equipment properly or could this do me damage? If possible could you rite me a guide step by step what to do as I'm confused off reading so much off the net, how long will it take to ferment, do I bottle str8 after and leave? Is so how long or do I leave in barrel for a week? Thanks

maybe troll

maybe stupid

but, as a n00b myself, I've probably asked these very same questions in the Beginners' threads.

they're read, not overheard, but they are definitely funny things said about beer; how does this NOT fit THIS thread?

 

[SiriusStarr]

they're read, not overheard, but they are definitely funny things said about beer; how does this NOT fit THIS thread?

Touché.

 

[mattd2]

From Stone Brewing's website:

Arrogant Bastard Ale
This is an aggressive ale. You probably won’t like it. It is quite doubtful that you have the taste or sophistication...​

Well that is pretty arrogant
My question is why would the waitress give him IIPA after he askec for a busch lite?​

 

[Ostomo517]

Spite lol

 

[andycr]

Let's face it, if she had handed him Levitation he wouldn't have liked that either. If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing...

 

[Billy-Klubb]

If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing...

this. :rockin:

 

[nmfree]

If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing...

If it ain't broke, you're not trying hard enough. -Red Green


...you can't give the one quote without the other.

 

[Brewcrew02]

Upon learning that I brew at home: "Oh, is it cheaper that way?"

My response: "Brewing your own to save money on beer is like buying a boat to save money on fish"

Holy scaly-manfish... best analogy EVAR! MOAR PLAEZ!

 

[highgravitybacon]

Holy scaly-manfish... best analogy EVAR! MOAR PLAEZ!

I like to plink at the gun range. Picked up a little 380 and thought it would be cheaper to reload. Bought brass, powder, primers, a press, scale, dies, etc.. yeah it saved me a ton of money per round. At least half the cost.

With commercial ammo, I'd shoot 50 rounds a month. With my cheaper reloads, I was shooting 200. So much for it being cheaper.

I tried to rationalize homebrewing to myself with the cost argument. You'd think I learned something. Fail. Now I just drink more beer.

 

[jpc8015]

"Guinness is a meal."

Maybe for a 5 year old?

I think that my stomach would fill up with fluid long before I could ever get drunk on Guinness. Now the Imperial Russian Stout from Stone that I am about to crack open is a different story...

 

[Leadgolem]

I tried to rationalize homebrewing to myself with the cost argument. You'd think I learned something. Fail. Now I just drink more beer.

........Nope can't find anything wrong with that. More beer = good

EDIT: More shooting = good too, jut not in combination with the first part....

 

[Skeptidelphian]

Was listening to Kevin Smith's Smodcast - he was making a joke, but the premise was the Guinness was so thick a straw would stand up straight in it. He's a pothead not a beer drinker, but it made me mad all the same!

 

[jpc8015]

He's a pothead not a beer drinker, but it made me mad all the same!

Some people are beer drinkers and potheads...

 

[OnTheStrangeBrew]

I have over heard many people at the bar I work at say "Lagers are distilled differently..thats what gives them that taste." I tried educating people but I always got the feeling they would rather be wrong with thier own opinion than be right with my opinion.Fermenting is yeast consuming sugar..distilling is the concentrating of yeast consumed beverage being heated. Blank stare..would go right over thier head..I mean it would sail over the crossbar. Ha

 

[Leadgolem]

I have over heard many people at the bar I work at say "Lagers are distilled differently..thats what gives them that taste." I tried educating people but I always got the feeling they would rather be wrong with thier own opinion than be right with my opinion.Fermenting is yeast consuming sugar..distilling is the concentrating of yeast consumed beverage being heated. Blank stare..would go right over thier head..I mean it would sail over the crossbar. Ha

Oh, you mean like this?

 

[mattd2]

I have over heard many people at the bar I work at say "Lagers are distilled differently..thats what gives them that taste." I tried educating people but I always got the feeling they would rather be wrong with thier own opinion than be right with my opinion.Fermenting is yeast consuming sugar..distilling is the concentrating of yeast consumed beverage being heated. Blank stare..would go right over thier head..I mean it would sail over the crossbar. Ha

Have you got that right though. Distilling would be the evaporating, condensing and collection of the ethanol; not the concentrating of the initial liquor. But I guess if they struggle with your explaination their heads might explode with the actual methodology of distilling

 

[LTownLiquorPig]

I think that my stomach would fill up with fluid long before I could ever get drunk on Guinness. Now the Imperial Russian Stout from Stone that I am about to crack open is a different story...

Not true. In the past I've been able to get as many as 20 in me. I was awfully "dry" the next morning though.

Rolling Rock is about the funniest thing I've ever heard about beer. Growing up it always looked pretty cool, cool packaging/logo, seemed to be used in movies a lot. Got to try it about a year ago, still wondering why they bothered....

 

[MotorcycleMatt]

Not true. In the past I've been able to get as many as 20 in me. I was awfully "dry" the next morning though.

Rolling Rock is about the funniest thing I've ever heard about beer. Growing up it always looked pretty cool, cool packaging/logo, seemed to be used in movies a lot. Got to try it about a year ago, still wondering why they bothered....

Yea i can get a lot of guinness in to me too. Nice thing is i havnt ever woken up with a hangover from drinking guinness.

 

[Ogri]

Was listening to Kevin Smith's Smodcast - he was making a joke, but the premise was the Guinness was so thick a straw would stand up straight in it. He's a pothead not a beer drinker, but it made me mad all the same!

Probably get flamed here but,

it seems entirely plausible to me that a straw could be held standing straight, for a reasonable amount of time, in a well poured pint of Guinness. The head on a freshly poured pint should be dense enough to be well capable of that.

Even if it isn't really high in alcohol content and/or syrupy.

but then again, maybe I'm just taking sides with the pothead:fro: