Funny things you've overheard about beer

[Mojzis]

A little off topic, it isn't so funny as much as frustrating. I was at a place in Austin called Red's Porch and I was trying to ask what seasonals they had on tap then the waiter cut me off mid sentence and asked "Light, Dark, or hoppy?" I was a bit frustrated by this because he completely ignored my question and treated me as though I had no idea what I was looking for.

I went to a nice restaurant a little while ago and was drinking a Great Lakes nosferatu at the bar waiting for the others in our party. So we get to the table and I ask to waiter for an ipa this time. Well he cuts me off saying "that's too dark to be an ipa, that's more like a stout" ......uhhhh no but okay. And i didn't ask what i was drinking, i asked what ipa's were on tap. And he keeps going on about it until I have to interrupt him and ask for a 60 minute.

I'm the only one who noticed the false information and annoyingly interruptive waiter so I just let it go.

 

[itzkramer]

I was at Market Garden Brewery in Cleveland with my girlfriend and her mom. Mom asks the waitress "What do you have that's similar to Leinenkugle Summer Shandy?" The waitress politely recommended their lightest lager or their wheat beer. No big deal.

I ordered a Stone 12.12.12. I offered her a sip and she says, "oh, its just like Guinness!"

Eh, what can ya do? I let it slide.

 

[cluckk]

A little off topic, it isn't so funny as much as frustrating. I was at a place in Austin called Red's Porch and I was trying to ask what seasonals they had on tap then the waiter cut me off mid sentence and asked "Light, Dark, or hoppy?" I was a bit frustrated by this because he completely ignored my question and treated me as though I had no idea what I was looking for.

So is hoppy a color?

 

[drainbamage]

Did anyone else read the Cracked article "5 Alcohol Ads That Confirm Your Worst Fears About Drinking"?

There was a guy in the comments section who posted (and this is verbatim):

"You've gotta remember that when you buy commercial or corporate alcohol you're most likely paying taxes. Taxes, of course go toward imprisoning nonviolent people for victimless crimes and waging wars of aggression against brown people in faraway lands. Budweiser and Jack Daniels build our fascist police state. That's why I homebrew."

Now, in no way am I trying to turn this thread into a political debate, but I've never heard anybody cite that as their primary excuse for getting into homebrewing.

 

[newb]

Taxes also go to schools, where that guy should have stayed to finish his education.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Did anyone else read the Cracked article "5 Alcohol Ads That Confirm Your Worst Fears About Drinking"?

There was a guy in the comments section who posted (and this is verbatim):

"You've gotta remember that when you buy commercial or corporate alcohol you're most likely paying taxes. Taxes, of course go toward imprisoning nonviolent people for victimless crimes and waging wars of aggression against brown people in faraway lands. Budweiser and Jack Daniels build our fascist police state. That's why I homebrew."

Now, in no way am I trying to turn this thread into a political debate, but I've never heard anybody cite that as their primary excuse for getting into homebrewing.

*clears throat, takes a sip of coffee, clears throat again* huhuh *clears throat again, harmonizes* Bwahahahahahaha!!!

 

[Jsaga]

I was once at a bar and a friend ordered a Rolling Rock. When he asked why it cost more than another friends Bud he was told "Rolling Rock is an import. It comes in a green bottle."

 

[newb]

I was once at a bar and a friend ordered a Rolling Rock. When he asked why it cost more than another friends Bud he was told "Rolling Rock is an import. It comes in a green bottle."

Ah yes the international green bottle law, it's so we can tell the difference, to encourage us to buy American to pay taxes to the right place to fund the police state so we can wage wars of aggression. The green bottle law is oppressive in nature to immigrating beer and should be repealed! I have a dream that ALL bottles are created equal.

 

[unionrdr]

They're green because they're what used to be called "greenhorns". It was derogatory slang for a "DP" or person from another country. They sure can chop up & throw the mortadella around,can't they?

 

[Billy-Klubb]

what's funny is I have heard comments before about BMC/Jack Daniels/Marlboro being "Nazi corporations" because WP folks use their products. I even knew a guy that claimed that Lynard Skynard were nazi's because of the Neil Young comment in Sweet Home Alabama. I asked how he figured. he replied, "Because Neil Young is Jewish and that's why they hate him." and it couldn't have been the song "Southern Man" that ticked them off a little? and that is why I home brew.

 

[cluckk]

I'm a pastor, so I started homebrewing to torque off the legalistic church folks who pontificate with "Alcohol is sin!" and "Thou shalt not..." That's what Jesus would do.

Great! We've gone from the topic of the thread, to politics and now to religion! Oops!

 

[Mojzis]

taxes also go to schools, where that guy should have stayed to finish his education.

+1

 

[unionrdr]

I suspect that this is one of the greater truths of home brewing;\

 

[seamusfm]

Old story, but was referenced in today's paper.
Dan Rooney, who owned the General Braddock Brewery, which closed in 1937, was asked by someone who saw a beer labeled 'premium', "How do you become a premium beer?"
"Young man, the first thing you do is tell your printer," Rooney replied.

 

[bergen69]

I'm a pastor, so I started homebrewing to torque off the legalistic church folks who pontificate with "Alcohol is sin!" and "Thou shalt not..." That's what Jesus would do.

Great! We've gone from the topic of the thread, to politics and now to religion! Oops!

I love the "alcohol is a sin" folks...I am a "what would Jesus do" sorta guy...Jesus turned water into wine...I turn water into beer.

 

[snaps10]

I'm in the same camp. As a brewer and a Christian, it's made for many fun conversations. We're (God willing) opening a nano in the next year or so. We have plans to have a brews and the bible weekly meeting, probably start by going though "God made wine".

On to the funny things,
My brother in law asked my wife and I if we'd tried this new kind of beer. IPA. He really liked it though, except he had a few batches that were too bitter. My wife shot me a look that made me love her even more.

 

[schwibbidy]

Just went to famous Dave's BBQ....which was definitely not the best BBQ but back to beer:

I overheard a customer asking for a 90 schilling when the "head" bartender replied, "sorry we don't carry that but we have Avalanche from Breckenridge Brewing which is just like 90 schilling"

i listened as the guy laughed and responded with "um....definitely not the same"

Lol

 

[LegitBrew]

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080122165218AAty9YX

^found while searching for cheaper by-the-pound hops. The last response is amazing.

 

[Ostomo517]

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080122165218AAty9YX

^found while searching for cheaper by-the-pound hops. The last response is amazing.

Well thats why Ive been hoarding hops for awhile now........what? You mean you didnt know about the "Great Hop Shortage?"

 

[Craigmn]

That guy seems to know what he is talking about, where can I pick up a carbloy?

 

[newb]

http://abcnews.go.com/m/blogEntry?id=18124167 here is a funny thing I just read in the news

 

[SudsyPaul]

http://abcnews.go.com/m/blogEntry?id=18124167 here is a funny thing I just read in the news

omg... this is GOLD!

 

[GrogNerd]

http://abcnews.go.com/m/blogEntry?id=18124167 here is a funny thing I just read in the news

“At no time in my life, prior to me becoming an alcoholic, was I ever informed that alcohol was habit forming and addictive.”

yeah, I call BS

 

[bergen69]

http://abcnews.go.com/m/blogEntry?id=18124167 here is a funny thing I just read in the news

I'm gonna sue my parents...it's their fault...if they wouldn't have been fooling around I wouldn't have all these problems!

 

[logan3825]

http://abcnews.go.com/m/blogEntry?id=18124167 here is a funny thing I just read in the news

I am not sure how this is funny. Stupid people like this is why we have dry counties and such restrictive liquor laws. Stupid frivolous lawsuits.

 

[microbusbrewery]

“At no time in my life, prior to me becoming an alcoholic, was I ever informed that alcohol was habit forming and addictive.”

yeah, I call BS

Yeah you gotta love the litigious society we live in. Ignoring personal responsibility whilst on the hunt for the deepest pocket seems to be the new American Dream. I remember a story a while back where a lady was suing Jack Daniels because her baby was born with birth defects and nobody told her that drinking a fifth of whiskey a day while pregnant was a bad thing.

 

[Coupleathree]

I was at my girlfriends house for the holidays and somebody offered her grandfather a Leinenkugels. He responded by saying, "If I drink one of those, I will probably start talking like those people." We explained it was brewed right here in Wisconsin and he proceeded to drink one exclaiming, "This is pretty good." I was dying inside with laughter.

 

[newb]

I am not sure how this is funny. Stupid people like this is why we have dry counties and such restrictive liquor laws. Stupid frivolous lawsuits.

Sorry I have to disagree with you, super human levels of stupidity is a great source of comedy. Once I realized, if you let human stupidity make you frustrated and mad all the time you will be miserable, I was a lot better off. Trust me, I spent several years of my life furious about how stupid people are, one day I just laughed at somebody in line at a fast food place. She was dumb and rude and it hit me why get mad and let her bring me down with her. She walked up from behind me when I had been in line, and insisted she was next? I didn't argue or anything, probably a first for me. Instead, I just laughed right in this woman's face, I promise it felt better then trying to argue back or reason with her. Some people just aren't capable, and we can't control or fix them.

 

[drainbamage]

“At no time in my life, prior to me becoming an alcoholic, was I ever informed that alcohol was habit forming and addictive.”

yeah, I call BS

No doubt they remembered the "hey, I didn't know my hot coffee would burn me" lawsuit against McDonald's and figured they couldn't lose.

Expect to see a "CAUTION: Contents may exacerbate existing brain damage" (no pun intended regarding my username) warning on your next bottle of store-bought beer... *facepalm*

 

[unionrdr]

I can just see the beer's warning label; Warning! This beverage may increase your stupidity factor...