Funny things you've overheard about beer

[TheCADJockey]

Epic derail once again!

I've seen epic'er.

 

[unionrdr]

That's what I've been trying to say...I just didn't think to call it "pre-boil". I know from cooking for years that a simmer isn't the same temp as a boil.

 

[kombat]

I guess I've been doing it wrong too, then. When a recipe says "simmer," I've always just had it at barely-boiling. The more you know!

 

[DrunkleJon]

Union just made us all better chefs. Thanks Union!

 

[Psylocide]

If you didn't know this before today, please, stay out of the kitchen.

 

[GrogNerd]

physics derail has been done, at least this time it related to brewing

but not funny

 

[Black Island Brewer]

<munching popcorn>

 

[mcspanner]

Regardless of the semantics ( and anyone who knows me will be surprised at the fact I just wrote that- I love a good semantically charged argument) I have a suspicion our author friend was not suggesting holding hops in a pre-boil state, rather using the word "simmer" incorrectly as a "low boil".

But....unless you're planning on buying a dessertspoon and actually making one of these recipes; does anybody actually care?

 

[beernbourbon]

<munching popcorn>

funnier than last three pages.....

 

[mcspanner]

P.s have we run out of funny overheard things?

 

[1977Brewer]

Being dumb about beer is just white noise to me anyway. I've had to explain so many things to so many people it just isn't funny to me anymore.

 

[unionrdr]

Yeah, pretty much. But every now & then, I still have to bite my tongue.

 

[Bosh]

Regardless of the semantics ( and anyone who knows me will be surprised at the fact I just wrote that- I love a good semantically charged argument) I have a suspicion our author friend was not suggesting holding hops in a pre-boil state, rather using the word "simmer" incorrectly as a "low boil".

But....unless you're planning on buying a dessertspoon and actually making one of these recipes; does anybody actually care?

Yeah that makes a lot more sense. However I was kind of laughing to myself about his incompetance in not boiling the wort properly to remove DMS and is neatly averted by his incompetance of not using any base malts at all.

That also means he has more IBUs in his beer than I thought as I was counting his "simmer" as some sort of strange archaic whirlpool when it should probably be a more traditional boil.

BUT if instead of boiling the hops, he`s cooking them for an extended period of time at 190 degrees or somesuch what effect would that have on the beer?

Will talk to my father about how all this crazy **** worked out in actual practice. I remember him telling me how important it is to get the beer off thr yeast cake and into a secondary ASAP after fermentation is done to keep it from getting contaminated by dead yeast that the yeast cake is made out of.

 

[ericbw]

At sea-level pressure, water boils at 212° F, no matter how much heat you're applying. You could put a jet engine under your kettle and light the afterburners, and the water in the pot would still only be exactly 212° F. All that would change would be the rate that the water is converted to steam.



A "simmer", to me, means there is still some bubbling action on the surface, which means that water is being converted to steam, which is technically a boil. That means the water must be 212° F. If it were even a degree less, then none of the water would convert to steam, and the surface of the water would be still.

Water turns to steam before it boils, doesn't it? Steam is vapor recondensing.

 

[Greg1Cruickshank]

A few months ago I was talking with my friend's father who typically drinks Coors Light.
I was telling him that I made a dry Irish Stout not too long ago that Id enjoy for him to try. He politely explained to me that he probably wouldn't like it, as he really only enjoys ales.

 

[fimpster]

http://www.theverge.com/2015/5/13/8597749/fizzics-make-beer-taste-better

I'm just going to leave this here...

If I buy the $200 bubble maker, and then dunk a Beer Enhancing Sachet, did I just make the Best Beer In The world!!!???

 

[Billy-Klubb]

If I buy the $200 bubble maker, and then dunk a Beer Enhancing Sachet, did I just make the Best Beer In The world!!!???

only if you make an 8 minute video of your counter top.

 

[masonsjax]

Epic derail once again!

We should rename this thread "Amtrak". That wasn't funny either.

 

[fuzzy2133]

At a tasting while I waited my turn.
I'll have what you got that is not bitter.
Well that leaves our Scottish ale.
Is that dark like guiness?
Um well how bow about between bud and guiness?
Pour it.
(Sniffs and takes a sip)
Wow that tastes so much better can I sample the other beers?
Yes that's why I am here.

 

[Kiichi]

Local brewpub yesterday, where I tend to hand around the bar. Most of the folk working there are both nice and knowledgeabel, but this one guy had me a bit baffled, especially cause he has been working the craft beer area for years.
Girl comes up, asks for a recommendation, stating that she likes Pilsners and nothing too bitter and hoppy, as she usually is a wine person. Fair enough I think, and he mentions that they do have a Pilsner on one of the 42 taps, but it is a hoppy one.
Now at this point I´d imagine him pointing to the other Pilsner, which is less hoppy and brewed with a touch of yuzu, or maybe a saison, or perhaps the dryhopped sours which share a lot of white wine and sparkly wine character. Maybe even the great apple cider or mead. Heck, maybe the golden ale.
But no. For some bloody reason that is beyond me he recommends, and sells the poor girl, a stout, and a dry, bitter, american rye stout at that.

I gave her the proper recommendations while he poured it, without commenting on the stout. She thanked me later and told me just what I thought she would. Might even have converted her. =)

 

[JonM]

If I buy the $200 bubble maker, and then dunk a Beer Enhancing Sachet, did I just make the Best Beer In The world!!!???

*hangs head in shame*

I've wasted the last 5 years on this hobby.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

*hangs head in shame*

I've wasted the last 5 years on this hobby.

how do you think Denny Conn feels?!?

 

[JonM]

Or Papazian.

 

[Chadwick]

I wonder how a wort would turn out if it was boiled at room temp by placing it under a vacuum?

Conversely, could you make your own DME by pressure cooking wort at 350F and opening the cooker (remotely) while it is inside some sort of silo with an exhaust fan at the top to pull out the steam while the DME rained down?

Moreover, how many other ways can an ages old process become questionable and possibly even lethal with the application of thought?

 

[unionrdr]

They make DME by a fine spray mist of the wort in a hot air flow/chamber or something. Saw it once & trying to remember? It rains down on a conveyor as a hydroscopic powder.

 

[slym2none]

They make DME by a fine spray mist of the wort in a hot air flow/chamber or something. Saw it once & trying to remember? It rains down on a conveyor as a hydroscopic powder.

That is interesting! I had often wondered how they do it...

 

[mcspanner]

I wonder how a wort would turn out if it was boiled at room temp by placing it under a vacuum?

Whilst the wort would boil under those conditions, you'd get no hop isomerisation; so very low bitterness. Although the boil temp would be reduced, the point at which alpha acids isomerise wouldn't*. So you might make bud light?



*If my understanding is correct, the chemical change will be governed by Arrhenius' Law which is temperature dependant but does not have a pressure variable ( waiting for a well actually- I'm an engineer not a chemist, but remember studying Arrhenius in relation to resin hardening rates so assuming it will apply to this chemical change also)

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Whilst the wort would boil under those conditions, you'd get no hop isomerisation; so very low bitterness. Although the boil temp would be reduced, the point at which alpha acids isomerise wouldn't*. So you might make bud light?



*If my understanding is correct, the chemical change will be governed by Arrhenius' Law which is temperature dependant but does not have a pressure variable ( waiting for a well actually- I'm an engineer not a chemist, but remember studying Arrhenius in relation to resin hardening rates so assuming it will apply to this chemical change also)

I'd never get rid of my FIL!

 

[Gameface]

Whilst the wort would boil under those conditions, you'd get no hop isomerisation; so very low bitterness. Although the boil temp would be reduced, the point at which alpha acids isomerise wouldn't*. So you might make bud light?



*If my understanding is correct, the chemical change will be governed by Arrhenius' Law which is temperature dependant but does not have a pressure variable ( waiting for a well actually- I'm an engineer not a chemist, but remember studying Arrhenius in relation to resin hardening rates so assuming it will apply to this chemical change also)

So since liquid boils at 204f where I'm at I guess all my bitterness calculations are off?

 

[mcspanner]

So since liquid boils at 204f where I'm at I guess all my bitterness calculations are off?

At risk of starting a derail, yes. Your calculations will be based on the isomerisation rate when Wort =212F , so 204F will have a lower rate, but it won't be hugely out. if you enjoy your beers then keep doing what your doing. In other words, RDWHAHB