All of the dead space & grain absorption will be accounted for when your first runnings are pulled.
For simplicities sake, lets say you have 10lbs of grain @ 1.5qt/lb.
Dough in with 15quarts of water (3.75 gallons). When you drain your first runnings you won't get 3.75 gallons of wort out because of dead space, absorption, etc. Lets say you get 2 gallons out... after the initial draining, you don't have to worry about more absorption or more dead space. It's all handled with the initial runnings. Again, for the sake of simplicity, say you expect to lose 1 gallon to boil off, dead space in your bk, shrinkage, etc. If you want to end up with 5 gallons in your primary you'll need 4 gallons of sparge water. If you are double batch sparging you need to use 2 gallons for each sparge.
Summary:
Dough in @ whatever thickness you want (often 1-1.5qt/lb)
Measure first runnings.
For a 5 gallon batch, though it varies system to system for boil off, shrinkage, dead space... you want somewhere in the neighborhood of 6 gallons going into your bk. You can dial it in after you brew.
6 gallons - first runnings = sparge volume... divide by 2 if double batch sparging.