Dumb Move of the Day Award

[Arneba28]

And the dumb move of the day award goes to........ME!

got a decommissioned keg about 6 months ago in the plans of turning it into a keggle. Well now 6 months later I am about to start cutting. Cant remember if I relieved the pressure in the sanke when I got it. So as I press down on the center of the valve I look over it. Pshshshshsh! Right in the face, chest and ceiling and everywhere else in my basement with some old, warm beer. Now I smell like a 70 year old drunk.

So I go upstairs, get myself cleaned up and change out of the stinky, beer soaked shirt.

Back down stairs. I depress the center of the valve and again, lean right over it and shoot myself in the face.

Ahhh!!! Sometimes I wonder how I made it these 27 years without accidentally killing myself while doing something profoundly dumb.

And that is your Dumb Moment of the Day!!!

 

[Yooper]

hahahaha- that's priceless.

Wanna change, and then check it just one more time?

 

[Arneba28]

yeah lol. That bastard is going on its side this time!

 

[wildwest450]

Twice? That my friend, makes you dumb and senile.


_

 

[the_bird]

Doing it once was understandable... TWICE, that's priceless.

 

[azscoob]

That is one of the best examples of dumb-assery I have heard in a long while, my hat is off to you, just dont shoot warm stale beer on it please!

 

[brewmonk]

27?

*ONLY* 27?

you actually have some TIME to get BETTER at it!

(but, TWICE, that *IS* a good one!) heh

 

[integrator]

can you send me your info so that I can get a million dollar life insurance policy out on you?

 

[Yooper]

I've had some dumb ones myself, but here is my favorite!

I was using the BMBF to fill some bottles from the keg. It works GREAT, and I was moving right along.

I guess I forgot that the whole point of the "counter pressure bottle filler" idea was that you would be filling the bottles under pressure.

I was finished, but I didn't want to drip from the racking cane onto my nice clean floor, and both hands were full, so I just pulled the picnic tap off of the racking cane and left in in the bottle along with the stopper.

Well, the point of the "counter pressure" filling idea quickly became apparent. The beer in the bottle quickly shot out through the racking cane which was held in place by the stopper. Apparently, it's under quite a bit of pressure and shot out fiercely- like a fountain on steroids. Since my hands were full, and the bottle was quickly emptying onto my ceiling, walls, computer, floor, I did what I could to stop it. I put my mouth over the opening.

Lesson #1:
You cannot chug a beer under pressure no matter how hard you try. You will either drown or start coughing uncontrollably. I don't care how many keg stands you've done in your life, you can NOT possibly swallow that much beer that fast.

Lesson #2:
Coughing uncontrollably doesn't stop the beer under pressure. But beer shoots out of the bottle and the tubing as fast as out of your mouth, while you cough, and even shoots out of your nose by that point.

Lesson #3:
Beer under pressure will travel a great distance.

Lesson #4:
The beer under pressure will not stop until the bottle is completely empty

Lesson #5:
Beer is sticky and mopping the ceiling sucks.

Lesson #6:
Trying it again exactly the same way two months later is proof that Darwin's Law isn't in effect for humans.

Lesson #7:
Practicing your chugging skills doesn't help.

 

[Burgs]

If it makes you feel any better, I was cleaning out the lines in my keezer last night by filling the two kegs with sanitizer and letting that dispense out through the lines and into a five gallon bucket.

Thing is, I just kind of left it going and went upstairs and did something else. Unfortunately two 5 gallon kegs of sanitizer is a little more than will fit in a 5 gallon bucket. Oops.

 

[Gitana]

LOL!!! This thread makes me feel better. I just brewed my first batch a few weeks ago. Eight pounds of wet grain PLUS 3 gallons of hot water don't quite fit in a 4 gallon pot.

You guys literally made me laugh out loud.

 

[Arneba28]

Damn lets keep this going.

I know some people have topped me on this subject of dumbassery

Yooper I have done close to the same thing as you but I was filling a growler with the BMBF

 

[LVBen]

You guys all have me beat... my worst move was moving a boil pot that had hot wort pouring into it through tubing from my lautering tun. By moving it, I unintentionally yanked the tubing off of the spigot and beer started pouring out directly onto the kitchen floor. Luckily, the wort was coming out in a stream and I was able to quickly move the pot underneath it and then turn the spigot off, so I only lost a couple of ounces.

I also broke two glass carboys in one night. Thought I could sanitize one in the dish washer... WRONG! I put the other one down too quickly... Luckily, they were both empty, but I don't use glass carboys anymore...

I've had several close calls... had buckets slide out of the way when I tried to pour 5 gallons of wort into them, but so far I've never lost more than a couple of ounces. I know there is going to be a big disaster one of these days... but not yet.


Have you guys watched the Dogfish Head TV show? I watched it once, and on that episode, someone spilled an entire barrel of labeling glue on the floor... I doubt that was fun to clean up.

 

[chapa]

I sprayed myself tonight. My keg got clogged from the dry hops I put in(used hop bag but w pellets). I hooked the gas to the OUT line to push the hops out of the pick up tube, but when I pulled it off(which isn't easy) it pulled some beer into the lines. I went to release the pressure, just to set my psi before hooking back up, so I was looking at the gas disconnect and stuck something in there to hit the pressure release valve and boom! It blasts me in the face and all over my shirt and fridge with beer from the gas line!

Then like a half hour later I knocked over the glass of brew I was sampling from a keg, and spilled that all over me.

The lesson for me, was I never should have decided to "take a little sample" of the kegs that weren't even connected as of tonight-and only had a few days on gas. I started off by hooking up the wrong one, which was the one that I really planned to let sit several more weeks or even months to mellow, as the excess of roasted barley tastes like burnt popcorn right now!

I think everybody has their day for stupid mistakes-even if it happens twice in a row!

 

[pfooti]

I've found out the hard way that my secondary carboy is a fair bit smaller than my primary bucket if I fill the bucket up over the top fill line, by coming back to my workshop and watching the floor covered in about two quarts of beer that overflowed.

Also broke a hydrometer in my boiling tun because I forgot how shallow it really was and just kind of dropped it. Fell to the bottom of the pot and jolted enough to shatter, dropping glass and lead into the wort.

 

[thewerx]

OP- This previous Saturday I was cutting off the lid of my first keg to turn into a HLT. I did the step by step procedure found on youtube. However, the video says to put it on it's side AFTER the speaker instructs you to depressurize it. Well, if you're going thru the video and pausing it after every step, you wouldnt hear that whole "put it on its side" part until AFTER youre covered in warm stout.

Im only on 23 years. And if I havent killed myself behind the wheel of a racecar yet, I doubt I'll do it homebrewing....


...or maybe.

 

[Yooper]

I've done way too many to count- but a few highlights include "the flood".

Way back when, I was brewing in my kitchen. I used an immersion chiller, and even though my tap water is cold I used more water than I'd like so I decided to save some water by draining some of the IC water into my 10 gallon MLT. This was the first time, usually I just drained it into the sink. Anyway, I set that up and did my usual thing. Which is set it up, and go on the computer for the next 20 minutes or so in the other room.

I was surfing HBT and heard water running. I walked into that part of the house, to be greeted with several inches of water which then started cascading down the basement steps (hence the "waterfall" sound). I slogged through it, turned off the water and checked the temperature of the wort. It was perfect! So, I cleaned up the mess with towels and mopped up and then put my beer in the fermenter. I cleaned up the basement stairs and floor and didn't give it another thought, besides "Thank you God that Bob isn't home- he'd kill me!"

Until Bob used the downstairs bathroom that evening. Apparently, the water didn't just go DOWN the stairs, it also soaked THROUGH the stairs. Who would have thunk that? So, he was sitting on the throne and getting dripped on and had wet toilet paper and soggy rugs.

He came up stairs, and said, "Honey- I think we have a leaky pipe in the ceiling of the downstairs bathroom! It's a disaster!" and then I had to confess. I said something like, "Oh, I meant to tell you about a minor incident today....."

 

[wildwest450]

I was rigging my new kegerator in my brew shed and failed to attach the faucet to the shank. I cracked open the c02 and shot beer all over my new bar and stools.

 

[starsailor]

Only thing I can say is...

DOH!


Still ROFL....