paulthenurse
Fecal Transplant Super Donor
- Joined
- May 14, 2007
- Messages
- 12,278
- Reaction score
- 2,208
Post removed by request.
PTN: You know I love you in a non homosexual way
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Post removed by request.
PTN: You know I love you in a non homosexual way
You know... I like to think of the Universe as a entire being... a singular body if you will... so.. . if the Universe is a singular body, there must be a massive, huge, ridiculously enourmous ass.
Listen, there really is no easy way to say this so I'm just going to have to come out with it. I've aggonized over this for a long, long time. Every time I thought the time was right, well, something would come up to show me that I should wait. You should probably sit down.
Let me tell you a story. A long time ago I was living in a Yurt in the Gobi Desert, selling tye dyed tee shirts, Pall Malls and cheap beer to the local nomads. One day a girl showed up riding a camel. Wow, she was something. She was hot. I mean she was HAWT! HAWT HAWT HAWT!!!
And a total freak! I mean she just couldn't get enough. She wouldn't leave me alone. "Baby, I'm not from Havana!" I'd work hard all day selling my stuff to the nomads then be up all night laying pipe. She damn near drained me dry.
Then one day she came to me and told me that she was late. The next day she was gone. Just disappeard and went home to the USA. I used to get postcards from her over the years, and every once in a while she would send me pictures. Once I got a report card in the mail. It was tough, knowing that I couldn't be involved in that part of her life but our stars were on different paths.
Do you remember the red firetruck you got for Christmas when you were 3?
Yes Brian, I am your father.
And there is something else. You are right, I am old and infirm and it seems I will be dead soon. I have Osteosarcoma and a rip roaring urinary tract infection. My girls have no intrest in brewing and soon enough my brew rig will be yours. Use it well. With my brew rig and your genetic imprint you can start a commercial brewery that will allow you to conquer the civilized world.
Ok, this is too painful for me right now, I have to leave it for a while. I'll write more later. Just remember, Brian. Daddy loves you.
PTN
CB, You are my long lost brother! I knew that I had a brother like you!! I can't believe I have found you through our common illegitimate dad!! I am so glad that I have someone to compare myself too and shine! Someone who is a total screwup. Someone who can't finish a simple brew sculpture in under 6 months. Someone who idolizes beers from another person and knows they can't brew their own! Someone who has a dog that PTN (our father) can make fun of besides poor McKenzie. Someone who can help take the wrath of the old fragile brutal man that raised me and beat me regular to remember the Our Father (the word Our is how I knew there was another!)
.
PS. You have a wee-little mash paddle don't you?
What do ya gotta do around here to get a prost or two?
You've been prosted Uncle Paul!
so Im brewing today, and well I dont have any beer ready of my own so I went and picked up a 18 pack at circle K. Cause you gotta have beer while you're making beer you know.
So its 8:45 in the morning and Im waiting in line with everyone and their coffee. I put the beer on the counter and the clerk said "Well....good morning to you." and gave me a look of disgust. I should of picked up a bottle of Thunderbird too while I was there.
You should have acted mildly offended... shook your head a little bit and said, "uh... it's not for ME... Jesus... what do you think I am? Some kind of drunk? No, no, I have four hookers back at my place. They're thirsty." chuckled a little bit and then said, "Hookers... they're funny. They always want beer"
... and walked out.
... I also had a full ESB keg and a full hefe keg that were kicked at the holiday part YOU attended
You two should get along great, none of your own beer ready
Oh great
I have a brother like you
Helped me 6 years ago hanging a few pieces of sheet rock, then drinking my beers and all my Vodka yet I still have to hear about how he helped me hang sheet rock every time he needs help building an Ark
I can't wait for the Night of the Barrels so Frank and I can say, several times, in front of Maureen.... "Man, that sucks that whole trip down to Newport Storm two weeks got cancelled the night before we were supposed to go. Yeah it snowed but I would have still gone down. Although I got the chance to be home with my family that night... which was nice"
You should have acted mildly offended... shook your head a little bit and said, "uh... it's not for ME... Jesus... what do you think I am? Some kind of drunk? No, no, I have four hookers back at my place. They're thirsty." chuckled a little bit and then said, "Hookers... they're funny. They always want beer"
... and walked out.
Should I keep that skank you picked up in Rayham on the way to pick us up to myself or can I tell everyone about the train you and PTN were pulling with her in the backseat while Frank and I were waiting for our wort?
Oh great
I have a brother like you
Helped me 6 years ago hanging a few pieces of sheet rock, then drinking my beers and all my Vodka yet I still have to hear about how he helped me hang sheet rock every time he needs help building an Ark
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