Doing favors for people

[BlueSunshine]

So I'm the type of guy that has no issues with doing favors for family and friends. However, I get heated when no one wants to do favors for me in return.

My girlfriend needs to move her 46 inch LCD TV from her house to mine and I needed a vehicle. My dad has a truck, but its so beat up that putting an LCD TV in the back of it in the middle of winter wouldn't be a wise decision, so I needed an SUV. A cousin of mine currently has 3 SUV's in his possession, but he won't lend one to me for a couple of hours. He says they're all too small when he has a f*cking Escalade EXT in his parking lot.

At the same time, I do favors for him all the time. When he needs someone to look something up, or to get a good price on something he turns to me. Hell, I was used as his personal encyclopedia twice today. If this were one of my friends I'd tell him to go to hell, but I can't since he's family.

Anyone else get heated when people don't return the favor?

 

[lowlife]

Nope (I dont get heated) I expect nothing nice from anyone ever. People are usually disappointing from my experience.

 

[the_bird]

Who cares if he's ****ing family? Next time he asks for a favor, tell him to **** off, he wouldn't lend you his SUV for a couple hours.

 

[Bopper]

Who cares if he's ****ing family? Next time he asks for a favor, tell him to **** off, he wouldn't lend you his SUV for a couple hours.

+ 1,000!!!

Either that or ask him again for the truck and if he says no remind him of how many favors you've done for him. Maybe he doesn't want you to drive the truck but that doesn't mean he can't come pick it up and drive it for you!

 

[JesseRC]

well some folks don't like to lend vehicles, I dont. But that doesnt mean I wont help move the TV if asked. Have you asked him to help or just asked to borrow the vehicle? Put him on the spot. THere shouldnt be any reason he wont help.

 

[kevinkaseykizer]

yeah i tend to get F***** in the A** a lot by friends and family.

I'm never one to say no to helping anyone... but seems like anytime i need help... they all scatter like roaches. I'm starting to learn that "No" is a good word

 

[BlueSunshine]

+ 1,000!!!

Either that or ask him again for the truck and if he says no remind him of how many favors you've done for him. Maybe he doesn't want you to drive the truck for some reason but that doesn't mean he can't come pick it up and drive it for you!

Yeah I asked him that as well and didn't get a response.

I should probably mention that he owns his own dealership and has a fleet of vehicles at his disposal, so honestly I don't know why this is a big deal.

 

[Bopper]

Yeah I asked him that as well and didn't get a response.

I should probably mention that he owns his own dealership and has a fleet of vehicles at his disposal, so honestly I don't know why this is a big deal.

Screw him then. I sure as hell wouldn't be doing him any favors going forward. You could rent a uhaul pickup or van for around $20/day in town. That's an option if you don't have access to any other SUV's.

 

[BlueSunshine]

Screw him then. I sure as hell wouldn't be doing him any favors going forward. You could rent a uhaul pickup or van for around $20/day in town. That's an option if you don't have access to any other SUV's.

Yeah, that was plan B which will probably end up happening since I literally don't know anyone else who owns an SUV.

Although he did say it's a possibility that I could use one of his Land Rovers that he buys next week. It's not set in stone though. Ugh.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

I am more likely to tell my family to go to hell before I would my friends.

And, I am not one to "loan" my vehicle out to people. I'll drive thank you.

So, why not wrap the ole 42" in some blankets and plastic? I brought my 67" home from the store amidst a light rain.

 

[Brew-Happy]

Do you have a car with fold-down back seats?

I recently hauled a 3ft x 5ft x 1.5in table top in the trunk/backseat of my Aveo!
Just prop up the end that is in the trunk with blankets/towels. Unless of course it is bad to lay a flat screen on its back, which I did with my 27".

I also hauled a 6ft folding ladder and was still able to close the trunk and drive reasonably well up close to the dash.

 

[IrregularPulse]

Anyone else get heated when people don't return the favor?

Your cousin is a dick and I wouldn't do any more favors for him.

So, why not wrap the ole 42" in some blankets and plastic? I brought my 67" home from the store amidst a light rain.

surely you can fit a tarp in your car to go pick up your dad's truck?

 

[IrregularPulse]

In your cousins defense however, Looking something up for him online is a bit different than borrowing a $60K truck.
PLus, why would the bed of that truck be any different than your dad's?

 

[springer]

So I'm the type of guy that has no issues with doing favors for family and friends. However, I get heated when no one wants to do favors for me in return.

My girlfriend needs to move her 46 inch LCD TV from her house to mine and I needed a vehicle. My dad has a truck, but its so beat up that putting an LCD TV in the back of it in the middle of winter wouldn't be a wise decision, so I needed an SUV. A cousin of mine currently has 3 SUV's in his possession, but he won't lend one to me for a couple of hours. He says they're all too small when he has a f*cking Escalade EXT in his parking lot.

At the same time, I do favors for him all the time. When he needs someone to look something up, or to get a good price on something he turns to me. Hell, I was used as his personal encyclopedia twice today. If this were one of my friends I'd tell him to go to hell, but I can't since he's family.

Anyone else get heated when people don't return the favor?

Yeah I asked him that as well and didn't get a response.

I should probably mention that he owns his own dealership and has a fleet of vehicles at his disposal, so honestly I don't know why this is a big deal.

It seems that these cars aren't registered are they?So you would need to use his dealer plate correct? You do know that a dealer plate can only be used to test drive a vehicle or use by covered employees . You can't take a pickup and load it with gravel and drive it home. State Trooper see's that and your cousin could and most likely lose the plate or worse yet you get into an accident and the garage keepers insurance finds out your were using the truck for personal reasons they will drop him like a rock.

Also asking to barrow a 40k $ Escalade and getting him a good price or looking things up are not all that equal in my book.

Just rent a truck

 

[BlueSunshine]

In your cousins defense however, Looking something up for him online is a bit different than borrowing a $60K truck.
PLus, why would the bed of that truck be any different than your dad's?

My dad's truck doesn't have a cap on it or anything. Plus his is filled with tools, junk, and other accumulated stuff from years of yard work. The EXT is covered where you could just slide the TV in. Pittsburgh roads and a 2000 dollar TV in the middle of winter in the back of an open truck is a bit of a risk.

I'm just using the EXT as an example since he has a few others to choose from that would fit it perfectly.

 

[uglygoat]

throw bricks at the cars in the dealership parking lot. i bet there's a hill that overlooks it.

edit: if he drove the company vehicle, it would be covered. he's just being a dick.

 

[BlueSunshine]

It seems that these cars aren't registered are they?So you would need to use his dealer plate correct? You do know that a dealer plate can only be used to test drive a vehicle or use by covered employees . You can't take a pickup and load it with gravel and drive it home. State Trooper see's that and your cousin could and most likely lose the plate or worse yet you get into an accident and the garage keepers insurance finds out your were using the truck for personal reasons they will drop him like a rock.

Also asking to barrow a 40k $ Escalade and getting him a good price or looking things up are not all that equal in my book.

Just rent a truck

He uses dealer plates to travel across state lines and he's been doing it for years. Hasn't had a problem yet.

I've done alot more favors than looking things up, I just used that as a recent example. If he needed a car for 2 hours from me I wouldn't see it as an issue whatsoever.

 

[mmb]

Agreed. He's being a dick.

But then again, how many used car dealers aren't?

 

[springer]

throw bricks at the cars in the dealership parking lot. i bet there's a hill that overlooks it.

edit: if he drove the company vehicle, it would be covered. he's just being a dick.

I don't think so it very strict when you use a dealer plate for anything nowadays. If there is a hint you were using it for anything other than company business you lose. Thats why they have demo cars that are registered and insured so the managers at the dealership can use them . Used to be able to throw a dealer plate on and use the car not anymore.

 

[mmb]

I don't think so it very strict when you use a dealer plate for anything nowadays. If there is a hint you were using it for anything other than company business you lose. Thats why they have demo cars that are registered and insured so the managers at the dealership can use them . Used to be able to throw a dealer plate on and use the car not anymore.

Back in college... 12 years ago now(!?!?!)... all the dealership dicks in automotive marketing had dealer plates on the cars daddy sent them down in.

 

[springer]

He uses dealer plates to travel across state lines and he's been doing it for years. Hasn't had a problem yet.

I've done alot more favors than looking things up, I just used that as a recent example. If he needed a car for 2 hours from me I wouldn't see it as an issue whatsoever.

He is an employee of the company you aren't . He can justify the use he can't loan out a car for someones personal use . Whereas you can loan out your car to anyone you want for any purpose. Dealer plates can go out of state no red flag there. Better to rent a truck and be done with it.

 

[springer]

Back in college... 12 years ago now(!?!?!)... all the dealership dicks in automotive marketing had dealer plates on the cars daddy sent them down in.

like you said 12 years ago things have changed. Here in NY they used to give out 2 plates same # one for the front one for the rear no you get one. Reason being Dealers would use the same plate on two cars at the same time. Its all about liability now. I don't think my uncle had a car registered in his name for 30 years but they changed the law and he had to in order to get the insurance just like classic car insurance if you don't have an everyday car they wont wont issue you a classic car policy

 

[BlueSunshine]

He is an employee of the company you aren't . He can justify the use he can't loan out a car for someones personal use . Whereas you can loan out your car to anyone you want for any purpose. Dealer plates can go out of state no red flag there. Better to rent a truck and be done with it.

Ah I see. My original request was for him to drive so I could load up with the TV then unload it. At max it'd be about 2 hours and I wouldn't drive. I'd never ask anyone to go joyriding in their vehicles or anything like that.

Pretty straight forward request considering that he's the only person I know with an SUV and he has a handful of them. After all the crap I do for him, he's just being a ******.

 

[springer]

Ah I see. My original request was for him to drive so I could load up with the TV then unload it. At max it'd be about 2 hours and I wouldn't drive. I'd never ask anyone to go joyriding in their vehicles or anything like that.

Pretty straight forward request considering that he's the only person I know with an SUV and he has a handful of them. After all the crap I do for him, he's just being a ******.

I don't think you understand dealer plates are not allowed to be used for personal use. You ask him to load your girlfriends TV into the back and transport it for you . Is that company business ? Now if he had bought a big screen TV for the business threw the business and was transporting to the dealership he would be covered. If something goes wrong accident or whatever he could lose the plates and not be covered under his garage keepers insurance.


Now if you said he wouldn't help you out with his personal vehicle I would say he was being a dick.

 

[BlueSunshine]

I don't think you understand dealer plates are not allowed to be used for personal use. You ask him to load your girlfriends TV into the back and transport it for you . Is that company business ? Now if he had bought a big screen TV for the business threw the business and was transporting to the dealership he would be covered. If something goes wrong accident or whatever he could lose the plates and not be covered under his garage keepers insurance.

http://www.dmv.state.pa.us/pdotforms/pa_forms_manuals/pub_458.pdf

(1) Dealer plates may be used on vehicles owned or in possession of a dealer or
manufacturer and operated by the dealer or manufacturer or its employees only
when the vehicle is used for one of the following purposes:

(ii) For the personal pleasure or use of the dealer or members of the dealer’s
immediate family, or when the dealer is a corporation, for the personal
pleasure or use of the officers or members of their immediate families, or
for the personal use of the regular employees of the dealer.

Might be different in your state.

Anyway, anyone else have issues like this? My old frat brothers tried the same thing by not returning favors and I dropped them like a bad habit.

 

[springer]

yes states vary in laws but there is the whole issue of insurance too. While it may be legal to use the plates the Insurance may have other issues with it . I woould just rent a truck and be done with it

 

[Llysse]

I think that if you don't know the laws of your state, you can do one of two things:

1. Assume he can help you but won't because is being a real @$$ for some unknown reason, despite all the help you've given him in the past, and despite your good relationship. This doesn't seem logical to me based on your description of the situation, but there it is.

2. Assume he can't help you or he would because you guys have a good relationship. That seems pretty logical based on what you've described, but who knows.

Basically, it looks to me like you're in an inconvenient situation and (who can blame you) don't want to have to pay for a rental truck if you can help it. However, the fact that you're inconvenienced by not having a vehicle to move a SWMBO's TV with is not normally cause to assume the worst about someone you've formerly trusted.

So, either let it pass and assume he's a good guy, or be mad and assume he's a rotten s__thole. Choice seems obvious to me, but that's sometimes difficult to manage when you're feeling put upon. If you can't manage it, don't do him any more favors, not so much to punish him, but because you feel you're getting the short stick, and not helping him any more may help relieve your feelings. And hell, if you can't help your SWMBO out by finding free transportation, maybe she knows of someone who can help. It's her TV, after all.

 

[the_bird]

IF it's insurance issues at the fore (which would be perfectly understandable), WTF wouldn't his cousin just say, "I'd love to help you out, dude, but I could lose my car/job/business if anything were to happen to the truck?"

If there was a perfectly valid reason not to help someone out, wouldn't you TELL them instead of just saying "no" like a ******?

 

[Homercidal]

He's just being a dick. He could certainly drive you and the tv there no problem. Next time he wants some help from you tell him you are too busy, or are tired of always helping him and never having the FAVOR returned.

You are not obligated to do favors for him just because he's family. You do favors if you want to.

 

[david_42]

I stopped doing favors for my family years ago, then I completely stopped communicating with them.

Other people, I'm getting better at judging who will reciprocate, but it took a long time to learn.