Deep Drunken Thoughts

[slym2none]

what used to be called a cupboard is now called a shelf. toilet paper is now called bathroom tissue. I'm no longer a welder, I'm a metal fusion engineer!

Doctors are now "primary care physicians" and the doctor's office is now "the wellness center".

Except when I talk, that is. I go to the dr.s' office to see a doctor.

 

[harleybug88]

what used to be called a cupboard is now called a shelf. toilet paper is now called bathroom tissue. I'm no longer a welder, I'm a metal fusion engineer!

Yup. I used to be a truck driver. Now I'm a steering engineer.

 

[Firewalker11]

I was unemployed, now I am a growler tender...

 

[vanishingpint]

As I grow older I ponder my own death more and more.I hope to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather ;not screaming and crying like his back seat passengers.

 

[slym2none]

Every night I go to bed, hoping I just don't wake up.

 

[drainbamage]

Every night I go to bed, hoping I just don't wake up.

You alright, man?

 

[m00ps]

I only get up each day for the few hours I get to play fallout 4

 

[slym2none]

You alright, man?

Not even a little bit, but no worries. So goes life.

 

[vanishingpint]

Speaking of my grandfather , his last words to me are etched into my brain like into stone. He said " Always..no wait. It was never .No it was "A wet bird never flies at night. They were his last words to me because they took him away that night. He died six years later. I still miss him.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Speaking of my grandfather , his last words to me are etched into my brain like into stone. He said " Always..no wait. It was never .No it was "A wet bird never flies at night. They were his last words to me because they took him away that night. He died six years later. I still miss him.

have you been listening to Steve Martin?

 

[vanishingpint]

25 years ago.

 

[slym2none]

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Why does time seem to flow so much faster when I'm getting ready for work, especially when I'm putting on my shoes & socks? It doesn't take 10 minutes to put on shoes & socks.
Regards, GF.

 

[drainbamage]

Why does time seem to flow so much faster when I'm getting ready for work, especially when I'm putting on my shoes & socks? It doesn't take 10 minutes to put on shoes & socks.
Regards, GF.

On a related note, the perceived length of a work week is inversely proportional to its actual length (ie. a 3-day work week apparently seems to take approximately 1 month to go by).

 

[Psylocide]

On a related note, the perceived length of a work week is inversely proportional to its actual length (ie. a 3-day work week apparently seems to take approximately 1 month to go by).

I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days and the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days and the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in then evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

 

[drainbamage]

I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days and the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days and the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in then evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

You win at deep drunken thoughts. High five, bro.

 

[Beernik]

A Christmas Story reminds me of my family.

 

[slym2none]

Your family is incredibly racist?

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Why does it seem that the good ones are already taken?
Regards, GF.

 

[JonyMac]

Like, what if everything in life was a movie and the witness parts of us were just watching everything on the screen seeing it all happen - like if we were at a movie - did the actors really kill each other? Or was it all pretend and nothing actually happened, but we thought it did, and got caught in it? What if we then realize that we are sitting in the audience and know that the movie isn't real and the audience isn't real and that there is only really one of us and we are pretending to be many of us - and then we realize that we are both at the same time and we are no longer caught in the movie playing a part? Are we free?

 

[day_trippr]

Whoa.

Put the bong down, and slowly back away from the keyboard...

Cheers!

 

[slym2none]

Hey... I keep remembering my legs... heh.

 

[m00ps]

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Why?

 

[hunter_le five]

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather.

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zV78IgXzB0[/ame]

 

[joshesmusica]

I always wonder if the following usernames are taken:

ss

sswipe

sshat

sshole


I just know I'm tagging someone each time I use those in a sentence.

 

[Rhetorik]

Wolverine should be donating his organs over and over and over again.

 

[slym2none]

He doesn't have a healing factor anymore.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

I can't think of any other place to put this except for TR. but I don't want @Randar asking me to the movies later.

when I go to the theater, I like to tap the person in the seat in front of me and crack off an air biscuit on their heads as they're turning to look at me. I get beat up a lot, but comedy comes with a price.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

What horrible, unseen force is it that causes the "getting ready for work time-warp?" I can be sitting there, putting on my shoes & socks and when I'm done, 10 minutes have gone by...
How the hell does that happen? It doesn't take 10 mins to put on shoes & socks.
Regards, GF.