Decided to try a stout......Horrible

[bigken462]

I will admit to not being brave when it comes to trying new beers - especially dark beers. My very first brew two years ago was a Pumpkin Spice Porter. I purchased this extract kit when I seen the words "Pumpkin Spice" on it. Hell, at the time, I didn't even know what a porter beer was.

My first taste of that batch dang near caused me to hurl my toenails across the living room floor. Till this day, two years later it still turns my stomach thinking about it. Thankfully my next batch which was a Kolsch finished first and it was that success which kept me brewing. Had I chalked up homebrewing to taste anything like that porter was, I would have quit drinking all together. lol

Recently, after combing through the recipes, I kept coming back to those stouts which states to be "Sweet". After 2 years of brewing, I felt I was now somewhat familiar with craft beer enough to experiment to the point of almost buying the grains to make a Oatmeal or Chocolate stout without first taste testing one. I mean, it's not a porter, so surly it can't be that bad. lol

Common sense prevailed and so I carried myself to the package store where I spent the better part of 22 bucks on two beers from a local micro brewery. One was a sweet chocolate and the other was a double chocolate. I wont list the names because I don't want my lack of taste be a negative mark for the brewer, but OMG, two friggen sips from each bottle and I was damn near puking in floor. It hurt poring them down the drain 1 minute after taking the first sip, but I'm glad I wasted the money there instead of buying 60 bucks worth of grain and wasting time brewing.

How you guys drink that stuff is beyond me. But hat's off to ya. lol

Ken

 

[Billy-Klubb]

different strokes for different folks. 90% of the beers I brewed my first 5 years were stouts and porters. at the time, most of the brewers I knew were big into brewing wheat ales. American Wheat Ales taste like soap to me. or they add so much fruit that it's like drinking candy. if you still have bottles of the stouts, set up a trade with someone here for some style you enjoy but can't get a certain brand in your area. I would, but I still need to get some trades done.

 

[JonM]

Hey, if you don't like stouts, no points lost. Different strokes.

There are lots of different kinds of stouts - some dry, some sweet, some hoppy, some flat out sour. There might be one out there that you'll like. Rover Truck has become a favorite of mine - it's a nice balance of sweet, roasty, toffee, etc. Have you ever had a RIS? If you can get a single can of Ten Fidy, it's worth a shot.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Hey, if you don't like stouts, no points lost. Different strokes.

There are lots of different kinds of stouts - some dry, some sweet, some hoppy, some flat out sour. There might be one out there that you'll like. Rover Truck has become a favorite of mine - it's a nice balance of sweet, roasty, toffee, etc. Have you ever had a RIS? If you can get a single can of Ten Fidy, it's worth a shot.

no joke! I was just thinking of picking up another 4 pack today!

 

[unionrdr]

I recently bought a 4 pack of Old Rasputin RIS. Wow, is that stuff strong roasty flavored. Like using French roast for espresso. No, spank you...Chocolate stout, milk stout, nitro stout are good. I brewed a dry stout to make my latest batch of Whiskely, but it's a bit bitey so far. I brew a robust porter for my Snowbound vanilla porter that's darn good though.

 

[IslandLizard]

$22 for 2 bottles?

 

[gwapogorilla]

I have NEVER bought a stout that I like....even Guiness!
So, I brew my own. I based it off of Yooper's oatmeal stout recipe, modified it a bit to be even less bitter and more sweet.....BINGO!!!!!
Now I have a stout that not only I love, but everyone that has tried it loves it!
Especially people who say they don't like stouts. :rockin:

 

[QuadConPana]

How you guys drink that stuff is beyond me...

I think expectations are everything. If you've ever picked up a glass of root beer while expecting cola, the shock would have made it taste nasty at first.

I love stouts, but wouldn't quaff one the way I would a kolsch. They're to be savored. Over time, I'm sure you would develop an appreciation for stouts. But, I don't recommend doing that. It could cause you to drive for hours, rent a hotel room, and stand in long lines for the opportunity to pay $20+ for a bottle of Hunahpu or Dark Lord.

Just stick with crack cocaine or heroin. They're much easier to get.

 

[QuadConPana]

I have NEVER bought a stout that I like....even Guiness!

That would explain why you hate commercial stouts.

 

[mattdee1]

I definitely get that tastes vary, but “puking on the floor” from tasting something as ordinary as a stout seems a bit melodramatic, especially for somebody who apparently likes beer enough to be bothered making it at home. For me, the “different strokes” principle usually just means that I’ll like some beers less-to-much-less than others, not that I’ll be heaving if I taste one of those styles. For example, I’m not a huge fan of many Belgian beers, wheat beers, or IPAs but I will gladly pick up token examples of them from time to time to put in my fridge and I certainly will buy them at a restaurant if they’re the only alternative to OV and Molson Canadian on tap.

On the topic of Guiness, I had one of those a few days ago—the first in a long time—and I couldn’t believe how bland and thin it tasted compared to the stouts I’ve been making at home, and buying from local brewers. Just goes to show how much variation is possible within the style.

 

[j1n]

Wow... i dont like stouts but you will not see me pouring it in the drain.... let alone almost puking from it.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

I can't be hard on the guy about his reaction. taste and smell can trigger some odd reactions. growing up I had my mouth washed out a lot with all sorts of liquid dish detergent and bar soaps. to this day there are some that I can't be around. the smell alone makes me angry enough that I want to break windows and makes me sick to my stomach. it also made me very anal about rinsing dishes. we used to have a barrel of anti spatter at work that smelled like Fruit Loops in sour milk with a hint of disinfectant. I couldn't use it because that smell made me very angry. I'm not even sure why. but every time I smelled it, I wanted to beat someone in the face with a hammer. I had to spray layout fluid remover to get that smell out of my nose.

 

[Aristotelian]

I like dry stouts like Guiness. I tried a "neapolitan" (vanilla, chocolate, strawberry) milk stout a couple of weeks ago at a work event and had the same reaction as OP. Beer just shouldn't be that sweet. I was shocked to see that the beer actually got some decent reviews on beeradvocate. It was like drinking beer flavored syrup. I know, I know, different strokes for different folks.

 

[JonM]

I can't be hard on the guy about his reaction. taste and smell can trigger some odd reactions. growing up I had my mouth washed out a lot with all sorts of liquid dish detergent and bar soaps. to this day there are some that I can't be around. the smell alone makes me angry enough that I want to break windows and makes me sick to my stomach. it also made me very anal about rinsing dishes. we used to have a barrel of anti spatter at work that smelled like Fruit Loops in sour milk with a hint of disinfectant. I couldn't use it because that smell made me very angry. I'm not even sure why. but every time I smelled it, I wanted to beat someone in the face with a hammer. I had to spray layout fluid remover to get that smell out of my nose.

Yes! Someone gave me a bag of mixed Jelly Bellies. When I bit into the bubble gum flavored one, I involuntarily spit it out (complete with an involuntary "bluuuhhhhh" sound) because it tasted EXACTLY like a medicine I used to take as a kid. (Children's Keflex, btw.)

 

[TheCADJockey]

My first taste of that batch dang near caused me to hurl my toenails across the living room floor.

This was a confusing statement to me. Are you saying you eat your toenails? Not judging.. anyway, if you don't like stouts.. whatever you do don't try IPA's. They are really bad.

 

[bigken462]

$22 for 2 bottles?

Yep, they were huge bottles, but one was a lil over 7 and the other 12. I can't believe I paid that much for fermented cow. $...t.

I'm not gonna knock peoples favorite beers, but for me, I just can't do it. lol

I'm a sucker for the falling for the names and descriptions. Dang they sound so flavorable. lol

I tell ya this, if I would have babysat that beer for a few months waiting on it to finish, it would have been bad. lol

I may search up a brown beer to see how that slides down, but the porters and stouts are out. lol

I'll say this though, if some of my buddies were to want it, I would brew it, just so long as I didn't have to do the QA test on it. lol

Ken

 

[bigken462]

This was a confusing statement to me. Are you saying you eat your toenails? Not judging.. anyway, if you don't like stouts.. whatever you do don't try IPA's. They are really bad.

Yeah, I know those are over my head. I made a SNPA and a Mirror Pond and ended up giving all of those away. Fun brewing them, but just not my thing. My guys at work seems to like it when I toss out a bad batch. They line up to catch them. lol

 

[Homercidal]

Love a good stout. Just brewed up a Maple Porter last night. Probably should throw some of last year's Dark Helmet Imperial Chocolate Stout in the fridge for this weekend...

 

[flars]

I wouldn't give up on finding a stout you really like someday. Big bottles and big prices don't necessarily mean good quality. Save money though, have a taste of someone else's pour if they offer.

 

[WSB-MBC]

Don't be ashamed for not liking a style. Don't EVER let anyone tell you what is good and what isn't. Everybody has different tastes which is why all rankings,ratings and lists are total crap.

 

[Homercidal]

At least it wasn't a Kriek.


(Kool-Aid vomit)

 

[oogaboogachiefwalkingdeer]

60 dollars on grain???? What the heck were you gonna brew?

 

[Zekk]

Don't be ashamed for not liking a style. Don't EVER let anyone tell you what is good and what isn't. Everybody has different tastes which is why all rankings,ratings and lists are total crap.

Unless it's IPAs, everyone likes IPAs they just don't know it yet

I'm a big fan of drinking and making what YOU like. If you brew something you don't like, or maybe SWMBO, what's the point?

 

[Newsman]

Unless it's IPAs, everyone likes IPAs they just don't know it yet

I'm a big fan of drinking and making what YOU like. If you brew something you don't like, or maybe SWMBO, what's the point?

I agree 100% I'll admit I don't like most commercial IPAs because they are invariably hop bombs. I don't like bitter beers, so most IPAs are anathema to me. That being said, I've tasted some IPAs that were NOT hop-bombs... they have a good flavor and you could taste the hops, but they weren't BITTERING hops. Don't know why everyone seems to think an IPA has to be a bitter hop bomb!
One of these days if I get time to sit down and brew a beer, I might try my hand at making a FLAVORFUL IPA with enough bitterness to balance it out, but NOT a hop bomb like most people like. I know the reason for hops was to preserve the beer to cross from India to Europe (or vice versa) but by the time it got to it's destination, most of the bittering hops would have faded.

 

[iijakii]

OP, sorry to hear about your broken taste buds.

 

[GHBWNY]

I may search up a brown beer to see how that slides down, but the porters and stouts are out.

Have you brewed a Nut Brown Ale yet?

 

[Captain_Eo]

My first taste of that batch dang near caused me to hurl my toenails across the living room floor.

Maybe stop eating your toenails?

 

[bigken462]

Maybe stop eating your toenails?

You mean this is this not what we're supposed to do to get the gelatin for cold crashing? lol


Darkest I've brewed a Irish Red, that was pretty dang good. Love Ambers, but never got into the browns yet.

Ken

 

[SeraW]

Is this just a weak parody of the "I hate IPA" threads and I just missed it?

 

[OleBrewing]

Definately try some brown ales. There are many from hoppy to malty. One that comes to my mind is moose drool from montana. I think it is a good example of a mild beer.

Oh and for the guiness being light flavored...guiness draught has less calories than buweiser. Get the extra stout for more flavor. But I do agree there are better examples.