Daughters boyfriends that you hate.

[Bellybuster]

I consider myself blessed. have a 17 yr old daughter and a 15 yr old daughter.
The oldest is a handful but is dating a nice kid with goals and the drive to attain them.
I thought for sure she would bring home "that kid" just to piss me off. I was quite surprised to meet a good strong willed young man that I hope she keeps around for a while.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Good older brothers can do a lot to save a daughter. Even 'adoptive' older brothers. No kids here, but I helped in the regulation of my little sisters dates. Some of the most effective things that have been done, as well as some experienced through my childhood.

When I was growing up, one of my HS buddies father would buy a new gun each time my buddies sister started dating a new guy. The father would name it after the boyfriend. Then when he met him he would introduce him to the guys. Of course this friend and his sister were kinda hard core and would fence without pads with sharpened rapiers. He ended up with one through his arm once.

I had a shotgun pulled on me once. Didnt scare me near as much as people would think.

With my little sister, the most effective things were when a friend of my brothers took a hold of my sisters prom date (while holding a 22 can of Bud light) and said "Son, whatever you do to her tonight, and dont worry because I will find out, I am doing to you tomorrow."

Other things that weirdly worked well was just me meeting them. I am an easy going guy. Skinny, have weighed 145-155lbs since I was in high school. I am friendly and just kept cordial and would say "you hurt her, I will kill you" calmly and only slightly joking. He told my sister that I scared him. Weirdly my outright hostile brother and father did not scare him.

Of course I look like this

harmless.

 

[Tin4]

I'ma "nice guy".

I always heard "You're so much better than all the other guys she's bringing home.".

I was always like "Damn ____ Dad. How many Dudes we talking about here?".

 

[brewer20D]

I'm a Dad to a set of 17 year old twin girl that Fortunately they don't cause us too much grief. They brought a couple of boy home and I have this little game I like to play with them. I am a avid hunter so I always have ammunition ( shot gun and riffle shells ) I'll put a couple of each in my camo winter hat and ask them to reach in the hat and pick one, then when the pull one out I hand them a sharply and tell them to write there name on it !!!! They get the message....

 

[Psylocide]

I'ma "nice guy".

I always heard "You're so much better than all the other guys she's bringing home.".

I was always like "Damn ____ Dad. How many Dudes we talking about here?".

"Let's see here... carry the three..."

 

[Mismost]

I always took the boys out to the gun club where we would shoot targets, skeet, rifles, pistols, and shotguns. Then I gently mentioned a target of his size, I could hit, moving or standing still. I have a gun and a shovel and know how to use both.

It was fun and I never had a problem with scummy guys. But she did have a couple of really needy boyfriends...insecure jealous wimpy little turds....they were just as bad as the scummy ones. I once went to a kids house at 3:00 in morning, banging on the door and woke up his folks....if the little turd was going to call my house at hours, they may as well stay awake with me! he was not allow back on the place.

But really guys...what upsets us, is we were once horny boyfriends and we KNOW how and what they are thinking!

 

[rawlus]

Dont really believe the dads with guns scares boyfriends away. That's television sit com stuff. Especially don't think it's useful to threaten people who want to date your daughter, that's likely to have side effects on your daughter later.

If you have daughters, best they learn to date so they acquire the necessary experience to make rational choices about who they decide to have babies with and/or marry.

There are enough divorced and/or single moms out there with "daddy issues"

Get over yourselves and think about what sort of woman you want your daughter to grow up to be. Shielding them from important life experiences won't get them there.

 

[Tin4]

"Let's see here... carry the three..."

For some of them you would have too.

I don't mean this negatively, and I really hope people don't see it this way, but I dig trashy chicks. You know the type. Well... some of you know the type. My look is a disguise. Shaved head,clean, neat,employed, all a rouse. I'm here to do stuff to your daughter and I don't want any issues to stem from it.

Dont really believe the dads with guns scares boyfriends away. That's television sit com stuff. Especially don't think it's useful to threaten people who want to date your daughter, that's likely to have side effects on your daughter later.

If you have daughters, best they learn to date so they acquire the necessary experience to make rational choices about who they decide to have babies with and/or marry.

There are enough divorced and/or single moms out there with "daddy issues"

Get over yourselves and think about what sort of woman you want your daughter to grow up to be. Shielding them from important life experiences won't get them there.

Yup. People (I say ambiguously as not to offend) tend to side with victims. If you make your Daughters boyfriend a victim she will side with him.

He's a ******. So were you when you were 17. It's the way life is. She's going to do the same thing most of us do and bang her way to a good one. She's not a possession to be keep in mint condition.

That's life. I hate the idea of a chaste bride. What if you get in there and the sex is bad or her junk's all messed up. Seems like you want to know that before you commit your life to them.

Just sayin'.

 

[Homercidal]

"...or her junk's all messed up"??

I don't believe in "test driving" a woman. It's no indicator of what the sex is going to be like after the wedding. It's entirely possible that sex is "fine" at first and actually gets BETTER over the years. The popular opinion of the day is women actually hit their stride well into their 30's.

Of course everyone is different and YMMV.

Bottom line here is that I don't hate boys for wanting to do things to my daughters. It's a natural urge and after the things I've thought about other fathers' daughters I have nothing to say.

 

[Tin4]

"...or her junk's all messed up"??

I don't believe in "test driving" a woman. It's no indicator of what the sex is going to be like after the wedding. It's entirely possible that sex is "fine" at first and actually gets BETTER over the years. The popular opinion of the day is women actually hit their stride well into their 30's.

I'm not advocating test driving, but serial monogamy till you find "the one". That's all. I actually have a huge personal issue with casual sex. I think it cheapens the experience and provides false expectations.

I'm a romantic though. Can't you tell?

It does get better over time, but there are things that you might be into they just aren't and better to figure that out before hand than spend the rest of your life in desire.

Of course everyone is different and YMMV.

Bottom line here is that I don't hate boys for wanting to do things to my daughters. It's a natural urge and after the things I've thought about other fathers' daughters I have nothing to say.

And that's my point. My wife put it very bluntly once. "You like ____ right? Want a girl that does that? So does every other guy.".

I was all, "Dang.", and decided to just live with it.

 

[beernutz]

I'm not advocating test driving, but serial monogamy till you find "the one". That's all. I actually have a huge personal issue with casual sex. I think it cheapens the experience and provides false expectations.

I'm a romantic though. Can't you tell?

It does get better over time, but there are things that you might be into they just aren't and better to figure that out before hand than spend the rest of your life in desire.



And that's my point. My wife put it very bluntly once. "You like ____ right? Want a girl that does that? So does every other guy.".

I was all, "Dang.", and decided to just live with it.

Aren't there really only two correct answers to that blank, a___ and b_______?

 

[fibonaccisquared]

As a soon to be father of a little girl, this thread has been enlightening... and terrifying. Two weeks or so until delivery... can we call a time out here?

I have jokingly told my wife that she won't be allowed to date until 30, 27 on good behavior. While I realize this is not something that will actually happen, I figured it gives me more room to negotiate and "meet in the middle". I will say the comment about preventing life experiences does have me marginally questioning my thought process though. Keep the thoughts coming, I've got so much to figure out.

 

[Tin4]

As a soon to be father of a little girl, this thread has been enlightening... and terrifying. Two weeks or so until delivery... can we call a time out here?

I have jokingly told my wife that she won't be allowed to date until 30, 27 on good behavior. While I realize this is not something that will actually happen, I figured it gives me more room to negotiate and "meet in the middle". I will say the comment about preventing life experiences does have me marginally questioning my thought process though. Keep the thoughts coming, I've got so much to figure out.

Fear is the mind killer.

 

[SharonaZamboni]

Nobody wants their children to date jerks, and many people are uncomfortable thinking about their teenagers as sexual beings.

Believe it or not, girls think about sex, and lots of them actually LIKE it!
Scaring away a boy won't change that.

Best way to deal with it is to make sure your children are aware of the risks and have access to birth control, condoms, etc.

 

[GHBWNY]

Right after she had her baby we sat down and cleared the air. Earlier this year she tells me that she finally understands why I did what I did when she was younger. Guess she sees how it will be with her own daughter.
Most of the time they will eventually see the light. Hopefully your daughter will do the same.
We, as parents, can only lead them in the right direction and hope they follow. Unfortunately some do and others don't.

I got remarried almost 11 years ago. My three daughters weren't having it and were especially disrespectful to my wife which caused big problems between my daughters and me. But I made it clear that my wife was my first priority and if they wanted to be part of our life, they would have to figure out how they were going to do that. I knew I couldn't 'legislate' a change of heart; it had to happen if and when it was going to. All we could do is pray. And wait. About 2 weeks ago, I got a surprise call from one of them. She asked if my wife was there and to put us both on speakerphone. Then she tearfully asked us to forgive her for her behavior over the past 11 years. And of course, we did.

 

[brew703]

I got remarried almost 11 years ago. My three daughters weren't having it and were especially disrespectful to my wife which caused big problems between my daughters and me. But I made it clear that my wife was my first priority and if they wanted to be part of our life, they would have to figure out how they were going to do that. I knew I couldn't 'legislate' a change of heart; it had to happen if and when it was going to. All we could do is pray. And wait. About 2 weeks ago, I got a surprise call from one of them. She asked if my wife was there and to put us both on speakerphone. Then she tearfully asked us to forgive her for her behavior over the past 11 years. And of course, we did.

It's difficult for anyone to walk into a "ready made" family. My wife's kids were fairly young, 4 and 9 when we started dating. The youngest one always resented me and never gave me a chance until 5.5 years ago when she had her baby. That was a turning point in her life and mine and it was the beginning of her and I getting on the right path together. In hindsight, I wish I would have done things differently but I did what I thought was the right way to handle whatever situation that was presented to us. We did talk and she now understands why I did what I did and my intentions were only for the best. She sees things more clearly now that she has her own child and my wife and I are thrilled she finally got her life on track and getting married to a great guy.

For all the dads out there with daughters, there are some dirt bag guys but there are also some good ones. we just need to put our trust in our daughters that they will make the right decisions and if they don't then be there to support them. For me it all worked out for the best. Now the hard part comes when I get the chance to give her away in November.

Good luck GHBWNY. Hopefully the other two will come around.

 

[Bowtiebrewery]

I don't have kids yet... but I have a niece now and she is a sweetheart... well for a 8 month old... hahah..

I've already resolved myself to being the "bad influence" uncle, but in a good way... I figure if she is going to have her first beer, why not with Uncle Jay! He knows his way around a beer or two...

As far as guys coming to date her... We are all pretty good judges of character in our family... Very few times did we make really life changing dumb decisions. As an Uncle I'll help as much as I can up to and including, putting the fear of god in a young man with no respect.

If I have a daughter... No exceptions... GPS Tracking will be a major consideration.

 

[Tin4]

Nobody wants their children to date jerks, and many people are uncomfortable thinking about their teenagers as sexual beings.

Believe it or not, girls think about sex, and lots of them actually LIKE it!
Scaring away a boy won't change that.

Best way to deal with it is to make sure your children are aware of the risks and have access to birth control, condoms, etc.

Really? Women? Are you sure?

Kidding. I like coming from a less sexually repressed generation than others. We still have ground to cover.

Birth control did so much for the emancipation of women.

I got remarried almost 11 years ago. My three daughters weren't having it and were especially disrespectful to my wife which caused big problems between my daughters and me. But I made it clear that my wife was my first priority and if they wanted to be part of our life, they would have to figure out how they were going to do that. I knew I couldn't 'legislate' a change of heart; it had to happen if and when it was going to. All we could do is pray. And wait. About 2 weeks ago, I got a surprise call from one of them. She asked if my wife was there and to put us both on speakerphone. Then she tearfully asked us to forgive her for her behavior over the past 11 years. And of course, we did.

Awesome! 11 years is quite the time to wait, but I'm glad she came around!

I don't have kids yet... but I have a niece now and she is a sweetheart... well for a 8 month old... hahah..

I've already resolved myself to being the "bad influence" uncle, but in a good way... I figure if she is going to have her first beer, why not with Uncle Jay! He knows his way around a beer or two...

As far as guys coming to date her... We are all pretty good judges of character in our family... Very few times did we make really life changing dumb decisions. As an Uncle I'll help as much as I can up to and including, putting the fear of god in a young man with no respect.

If I have a daughter... No exceptions... GPS Tracking will be a major consideration.

My brother is the bad influence uncle. He's holding onto his momentos from jail to show them how cool jail is...

 

[Cyclman]

"...what the sex is going to be like after the wedding.

AFTER the wedding?

 

[Joesl8]

I haven't met any of them yet, but I already hate them.

She's 2.

Unless he is mega rich. Then, you know... welcome home, "son."

Ha ha, my daughter is three and I've already started stock piling a small arsenal. That's the problem with the Air Force.

 

[Tin4]

Ha ha, my daughter is three and I've already started stock piling a small arsenal. That's the problem with the Air Force.

What? That you get to sleep till 10 am and then go out and buy guns?

Kidding, I love you airforce guy. I wear aviators so it's kind of a requirement.

 

[Cyclman]

Here's the answer:

https://youtu.be/3xWGjPWqW-0

 

[Psylocide]

Here's the answer:

https://youtu.be/3xWGjPWqW-0

Not for my girl. Thinking more along the lines of this:

 

[Joesl8]

What? That you get to sleep till 10 am and then go out and buy guns?

Kidding, I love you airforce guy. I wear aviators so it's kind of a requirement.

I'm not Air Force, I'm ex army. There were a couple of women that are in the later stages of the Ranger course, I was thinking the guys daughter should have tried out. (I kid, I kid).