Cuss me out for being a crappy homebrewer! lol

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Why has nobody mentioned secondaries/tertiaries/quaternieries yet?
Also, "drywall", and other malcontented nonsequiturs.
 
DrEvil.jpg


lol, i did drink tetriary alcohol for a while tert-amyl....THAT **** ****S YOU UP! my english sucks, but i know what tert in chemistry stands for, 3 carbons, off a carbon next to something else like a OH....
 
damn this was playing on youtube and had two nats in my beer glass....



and actually tert-amyl, has more of a axle grease flavor to it....it's also 13 times as potent as ethanol...all you kiddies should try it! not....
 
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this is how i deculm my malt in case anyone ever wants try malt themselves

and yes i'm going to add gluco to it, and i figure why not, i'll just dry hop this batch see how it goes....so maybe a brüt, maybe just 'lite' beer...you make the call...
 
lol, i learned it from someone, who said they saw someone, pass it bucket to bucket. On this site! Of course i had to modify it, because of bucket and one box fan didn't clean it good enough....switched it to two box fans, and totes, so i can get a good drop on it, and enough travel to where i don't lose a lot of grain....
 
BTW feel free to cuss me out if this is a stupid question. Any appliance people here that can give me a few pointers on how to get a standard gas range to go down lower than 170f for the oven, all i've been able to make is munich malt.... been craving a light, grain based alcoholic liquid....
 
dstockwell said:
Yea just put on warm.. :ban:
Click to expand...

unfortantly warm is 170f....i think i got the solution though, a 200ohm resistor on the temp probe....should fool it into think it's hotter than it is, i don't have one. but order a 10 pack. 3.50 off ebay. cheap malt kiln, if it works. i tried it with one of the 2.2k ones and it thought it was hot at room temp.

acording to some chart i saw on oven thermistors, they get 1080 or someshit at 70f, and like 1200 at 100f...so a 200ohm increase should give me what i need.

i'd say wish me luck... but this is the cuss me out thread, the only place i feel comfortable posting (and just be thankful i didn't decide to bump the growing and malting thread from 2008 a minute ago, this site is all google ever sends me too, they must know we homebrewers all get along, lol.. so your stuck with me) :)
 
I had a electronics tester thing that let me try different resistors...150ohm gets me a 122f oven when it's set to 170f...! success i can make light beer again, no more munich malt for me! not that it was ALL bad....but it has been 2.5 years

And if Google directs you here in 10-20 years...well i don't know

Oven Malt Kiln Mod 200ohm resistor, thermostat... Now all i need is a switch to turn it on and off...

See i'm getting better at this homebrew stuff all the time! :)

although apparently my social graces still need work, must be all the homebrew....and my fourth grade education...
 
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i was buying whole barley at the feed store today...and the girl asked me do you make a good profit, because i told them i make beer with it...and i said no i just make my own...why don't people that buy tomato, vegetable seeds get asked questions like that? lol
 
so my last batch of beer unfortunately tastes like bleach because i was experimenting with adding it to my barley steeping water....

I saw someone say Camden tablets knock out chlorine? i ordered some, think it will fix it? or should i see if i can at least get a couple gallons of whiskey out of it?

apparently i wasted money campden tablets, they sell bonide stump out at ace which is 100% sodium metabisulfite,,,9 bucks for 1lb, instead of the 3.82 i spent on 35g's...

i'll pick up a bottle tomorrow and let myself/and this thread know if it actually works...

(UPDATE: added sodium metabisulfite, now it smells and tastes like egg farts....

calling a loss, add 10lbs sugar. devote it to science...)
 
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bracconiere said:
BTW feel free to cuss me out if this is a stupid question. Any appliance people here that can give me a few pointers on how to get a standard gas range to go down lower than 170f for the oven, all i've been able to make is munich malt.... been craving a light, grain based alcoholic liquid....
Click to expand...
Light some paper towels on fire???
 
Sbe2 said:
Light some paper towels on fire???
Click to expand...

i think the resistor will do it...it gives me a range between room temp and 280f...i was playing around with it and 200ohm added to the circuit, i get 140f with the dial at 310f, and 280f in the oven at 450f...330f on the dial gave me 150f in the oven....

and there is a newspaper log making thingy where you compress wet newspaper into a log for burning...must be how they did it in 'the old'en days' before natural gas....have to keep that in mind in case i can't afford my gas bill! lol
 
If you're popping more than one batch of corn, you don't know what the fugazzi you're doing. Save some from that first batch to plant. It'll come up as popped corn. It's simple genetics. How do you think you can buy already popped corn?

And this malting grain is a sham. Look at a field of barley or wheat. What do you see? Yes! Barley and wheat plants. And how do you think they got that way? They sprouted! That's how they got to be plants. So, essentially, you're looking at a bunch of sprouted seeds. Why would you have to pick them off, sprout them, and then kill them? Think about it. You can't brew with dead seeds. Why do you think there are so many threads about missing OG and low alcohol? Because when you buy beer at the store, they add the alcohol to it.

But you think you can do that at home with yeast? Yeast!? You probably think when you open the pack that's the yeast you're seeing. Ha! Yeast is invisible. And we know invisibility is just make believe comic book stuff so all you're paying for is some little gelatin balls. Yeast! Whatever.

And there is no two tenths. Do you even have an elementary school degree? You mean a fifth, and of course a fifth makes a difference in the ABV. You drink a whole fifth and you'd be lit, right? That's how it gets in the beer. They pour it in. The beer is just flavoring, really.

This forum is so much misinformation.
 
lol....actually i only miss my OG when i don't let the acrospire get long enough to come out the husk. so that it can add protein to the beer.

and no i didn't graduate elementary school, but .2 was two tenths, and 1/5 was a fraction....

and also Mmmmmm, wheat grass juice! just like a hippie, or if we're adding alcohol to spike it hipster!
 
you know, i'm drinking some unintentional sour beer right now...damn thing took off fermenting over night somehow, before i even had a chance to add yeast to it.

thinking to myself, doesn't taste 'bad', hell my favorite candy when i was a kid was sour candy....so i might have been shooting at a deer, and hit a rabbit. but it's still dinner! :)

and as a joke, i guess on myself...i decided to save the yeast, and just repitched it into my current batch! lol
 
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Damn you guys are great! never thought a bunch of other homebrewers pointing out to me how stupid i am would be so inspirational!

lol, just pulled some mash water out of the cooler to bring to a boil to ramp up temp to 162f, it's all cloudy. BUT it's just slightly amber! Yea! with the new oven mod, and low toasted malt, i can make different tasting beers again! it was always tough with using 20-30L munich malt as base malt to make anything that was different...

And if it wasn't for you guys making me feel stupid, i wouldn't have been able to do it! Thanks! :)

(that's straight from the heart)
 
had to update, thinking about this crap!

so i put my malt on to slow drain when i was making it, got a damn air bubble in the drain, and it sat in water over night...got a rot! and i was planning on making a light beer, and did! this **** smells and tastes like food waste definitely needed a bunch of dark grain to cover it up with! but hell i've drank it before when i didn't notice, and it didn't kill me?

like a mother with a kid with down syndrom, i love it. and i'm going to keep trying!
 
i've been drinking this rotten malt beer. thinking to myself, all the best food started out as rotten food, kim-chi, saur kraut, pepperoni, most cheeses....and i just got talked into smoking malt from a fellow forum member...i think this over soaked malt, would go good with some smoked malt, and thinking i might do it on purpose! and cardamom! yea me! see how it goes!
 
Not quite dead, just disappointed... Realizing i don't like cardamom in place of hops in beer!

I actually smoked some more malt! (sometimes the stuff even gets into one of my rolled cigs and i actually do!) And i got a batch going without cardamom this time round!
 
JimRausch said:
Along the lines of walking a mile in another's shoes, I will not call you a crappy brewer until I've had a pint of your best. :mug:
Click to expand...

:mug: and depending on where it's served, i hope you don't mind a picnic tap, or it being poured out of a cleaned old 1 liter soda bottle!
 
TheMadKing said:
Does anyone else wonder if OP just has a weird fetish and likes to be yelled at?
Click to expand...

not necessarily .. just i've tried posting on homebrewing forum before and always end up having it happen...thought i'd make a specific thread for it! because that way it can be accepted, and i can be around other people i relate too. that make their own drugs....

was just thinking that my form of sanitizing my fermenter, is using it for my sparge water? guess that's more like pasteurizing it though?

edit: i know i'm in the minority wanting a 1 dollar twelve pack and not a 20 dollar one!
 
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The fetish thing was 100% in jest

People are too up tight about what's right and wrong with brewing. Beer is forgiving and its genuinely easy to make and hard to screw up. If you've got a system that works for you, then don't fix what ain't broke.

99% of this forum is people asking the same 10 questions over and over - or thinking they've done something innovative that the Germans haven't been doing for 200 years ("vitality starters" are just krausening... case in point).

I see no issue with that... if you're over 140F then it's at least as effective as StarSan... I keep the same bucket of star san for months at a time so maybe I'm weird too

I didn't didn't get into this hobby to save money though... My wife can attest to that
 
i usually pour the water in my plastic bucket at about 175-180f and let it cool to 165-170f....

And saving money is the reason i love drinking beer so much! only 'drug' i can do that with, all the other ones i tried, i ended up having to pay whatever 'they' wanted, which was my whole paycheck usually!

And, i knew you were joking? lol :mug: drink on brother! without a lot of mirth, drinking usually lands people in jail!
 
bracconiere said:
:mug: and depending on where it's served, i hope you don't mind a picnic tap, or it being poured out of a cleaned old 1 liter soda bottle!
Click to expand...
Did you have to anything to get the soda smell out of the bottles or does that get taken care of after the first use for beer?

Also do you reuse the caps or buy new ones?

Been thinking about using 2litre soda bottles for mini casks, but the smell does not want to leave the bottles with simple soaking in oxiclean.
 
ba-brewer said:
Did you have to anything to get the soda smell out of the bottles or does that get taken care of after the first use for beer?

Also do you reuse the caps or buy new ones?

Been thinking about using 2litre soda bottles for mini casks, but the smell does not want to leave the bottles with simple soaking in oxiclean.
Click to expand...

I reuse the same caps, never noticed a soda taste? just rinse them out myself...but my taste buds aren't too sensitive, thus the topic of this thread! ;) i could taste soda from a used keg without the gaskets replaced though...

and i don't distinctly remember i've reused the same 1 liter bottles for years so, maybe the first couple beers did in fact 'clean them out'....

you could always use some empty dasani water bottles instead of soda bottles?
 
Thanks bracconiere, I will give the couple I plan to use a few more soaking and see how they smell.

@SanPancho I had thought about that too just did not want to buy selzer to just dump out. Might be the safest bet though to not get soda tasting beer.
 

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