Cuss me out for being a crappy homebrewer! lol

[GoeHaarden]

lol, moon cycle huh? maybe we'll sync up, so i don't have to loose my good friends! not many people have the 'balls' to make 'any' drugs for them selves...instead worships BMC, and el chapo!...

And yes we sure as hell can be friends....even if you sold your ph meter, which i wonder what the resale value is....

Do you get a intense and distinct sense of pride drinking your OWN beer? damn, then i like you!

But this is the cuss me out thread and i'd point out 'why would you sell your ph meter, don't you know just .2 makes about a pound difference in grain efficiency!" that's like a whole dollar a batch of beer! lol, or in my case being a crappy homebrewer....if i don't hit my mark i just add 50 cents table sugar....

as far as PMS'ing homebrewer's, probably started, if true, when i joined because of my dislike of dope-cook's and drug 'dependence'...

Haha. If I don't hit my mark, well, I don't really care. I waste more money on stupid sh*t than to worry about a few efficiency points. I'm not trying to sell the stuff, and I think my beer is better than most of the craft breweries around. Plus, I enjoy the hobby too much to get up tight about it. Everyone else can f'off with their superior knowledge and knowitall attitudes.

For me, pH is more of a ballpark type of thing, and I like to think I catch a fly-ball every once in a while. I read on another thread somewhere that you're actually supposed to take a pH reading at 30 mins. Didn't know that, but at that point...what's the point!?

And don't call my pseudo-alcoholism a dependence...a**hole! just trying to follow the rules here!!

I still can't believes you use table sugar and not corn sugar! Hahaha

 

[bracconiere]

Haha. If I don't hit my mark, well, I don't really care. I waste more money on stupid sh*t than to worry about a few efficiency points. I'm not trying to sell the stuff, and I think my beer is better than most of the craft breweries around. Plus, I enjoy the hobby too much to get up tight about it. Everyone else can f'off with their superior knowledge and knowitall attitudes.

For me, pH is more of a ballpark type of thing, and I like to think I catch a fly-ball every once in a while. I read on another thread somewhere that you're actually supposed to take a pH reading at 30 mins. Didn't know that, but at that point...what's the point!?

And don't call my pseudo-alcoholism a dependence...a**hole! just trying to follow the rules here!!

I still can't believes you use table sugar and not corn sugar! Hahaha

wait pseudo-homebrew alcoholism? **** man i was calling spending 120 dollars or whatever the methamphetamine costs these days, dependence...homebrew is Freedom, in the extreme, just as god wills it!.(no i don't go to church, i just like dropping the god word for drama)....lol

As the ph matter, i agree whole heartedly...at best your ph will be 5.2-5.3, at worst 5.6-5.0....still only makes about a 5% difference on efficiency.....which i got cussed out about saying is a huge one....it's only like a pound of grain for a 10 gal batch.....but does make a difference....

and as far as table sugar instead of corn sugar...i like cider and don't mind a little of the flavor in my beer! lol

i've been drinking, and going over and over this post for too long now, i'm glad it got moved to drunken ramblings where it belongs! ahh damn, just remembered the reason i want 1.060 EVERYTIME and ferment dry is for calorie tracking software! should have said that! anyway, drink a homebrew for me! love it no matter what! and enjoy the feeling!

 

[bracconiere]

just thought i'd share the barley sprouts going into the oven for my next addition to the tally for 2018! 170f for 12 hours.....be brewing day after tomorrow

 

[day_trippr]

Am I seeing actual green growth?

 

[bracconiere]

Am I seeing actual green growth?

i don't think so, not on the malt, maybe a little left over mouse bait to the left of the oven....i live in South east AZ, mice and roaches are facts of life....

my camera is from 1999 or some **** like that too....(i know , i know, why do i try i mean poopy)

 

[SevenOaks]

DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!

SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS TOFFEE-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!

I’m sorry, this is abuse. I came here for an argument.

 

[bracconiere]

I’m sorry, this is abuse. I came here for an argument.

i don't know about parrot droppings, but i could say. "I bet your a beer snob that thinks his **** don't stink", my **** stinks, but it's still cheaper and more flavorful than milwaukee's 'best'...name one alcoholic that would turn down a 85cent gallon of 8%! no matter how bad it was!

i think i need to learn to use asterisks in cuss words too, poopy doesn't quite sound the same as s*it....

 

[Andrew Hodgson]

I bet you drink your beer without extending your pinky. Trash.

 

[arturo7]

I bet you drink your beer without extending your pinky. Trash.

That only works when you’re sitting at a bar or a table. If you’re standing up your pinky should be supporting the bottom of your glass.

 

[bracconiere]

I bet you drink your beer without extending your pinky. Trash.

no but it does taste like preparation "h"....especially when i get too much efficiency and it comes out 9.1% alcohol instead of my usual 8%....

we won't even talk about some of my stouts...lol

 

[balrog]

Why has nobody mentioned secondaries/tertiaries/quaternieries yet?
Also, "drywall", and other malcontented nonsequiturs.

 

[bracconiere]

lol, i did drink tetriary alcohol for a while tert-amyl....THAT **** ***** YOU UP! my english sucks, but i know what tert in chemistry stands for, 3 carbons, off a carbon next to something else like a OH....

 

[dstockwell]

Her's your Brut.

 

[bracconiere]

damn this was playing on youtube and had two nats in my beer glass....



and actually tert-amyl, has more of a axle grease flavor to it....it's also 13 times as potent as ethanol...all you kiddies should try it! not....

 

[bracconiere]

this is how i deculm my malt in case anyone ever wants try malt themselves

and yes i'm going to add gluco to it, and i figure why not, i'll just dry hop this batch see how it goes....so maybe a brüt, maybe just 'lite' beer...you make the call...

 

[balrog]

I had to look up "deculm the malt".
Now I know.

 

[bracconiere]

lol, i learned it from someone, who said they saw someone, pass it bucket to bucket. On this site! Of course i had to modify it, because of bucket and one box fan didn't clean it good enough....switched it to two box fans, and totes, so i can get a good drop on it, and enough travel to where i don't lose a lot of grain....

 

[bracconiere]

BTW feel free to cuss me out if this is a stupid question. Any appliance people here that can give me a few pointers on how to get a standard gas range to go down lower than 170f for the oven, all i've been able to make is munich malt.... been craving a light, grain based alcoholic liquid....

 

[dstockwell]

Yea just put on warm..

 

[bracconiere]

Yea just put on warm..

unfortantly warm is 170f....i think i got the solution though, a 200ohm resistor on the temp probe....should fool it into think it's hotter than it is, i don't have one. but order a 10 pack. 3.50 off ebay. cheap malt kiln, if it works. i tried it with one of the 2.2k ones and it thought it was hot at room temp.

acording to some chart i saw on oven thermistors, they get 1080 or someshit at 70f, and like 1200 at 100f...so a 200ohm increase should give me what i need.

i'd say wish me luck... but this is the cuss me out thread, the only place i feel comfortable posting (and just be thankful i didn't decide to bump the growing and malting thread from 2008 a minute ago, this site is all google ever sends me too, they must know we homebrewers all get along, lol.. so your stuck with me)

 

[bracconiere]

I had a electronics tester thing that let me try different resistors...150ohm gets me a 122f oven when it's set to 170f...! success i can make light beer again, no more munich malt for me! not that it was ALL bad....but it has been 2.5 years

And if Google directs you here in 10-20 years...well i don't know

Oven Malt Kiln Mod 200ohm resistor, thermostat... Now all i need is a switch to turn it on and off...

See i'm getting better at this homebrew stuff all the time!

although apparently my social graces still need work, must be all the homebrew....and my fourth grade education...

 

[bracconiere]

i was buying whole barley at the feed store today...and the girl asked me do you make a good profit, because i told them i make beer with it...and i said no i just make my own...why don't people that buy tomato, vegetable seeds get asked questions like that? lol

 

[bracconiere]

so my last batch of beer unfortunately tastes like bleach because i was experimenting with adding it to my barley steeping water....

I saw someone say Camden tablets knock out chlorine? i ordered some, think it will fix it? or should i see if i can at least get a couple gallons of whiskey out of it?

apparently i wasted money campden tablets, they sell bonide stump out at ace which is 100% sodium metabisulfite,,,9 bucks for 1lb, instead of the 3.82 i spent on 35g's...

i'll pick up a bottle tomorrow and let myself/and this thread know if it actually works...

(UPDATE: added sodium metabisulfite, now it smells and tastes like egg farts....

calling a loss, add 10lbs sugar. devote it to science...)

 

[Sbe2]

BTW feel free to cuss me out if this is a stupid question. Any appliance people here that can give me a few pointers on how to get a standard gas range to go down lower than 170f for the oven, all i've been able to make is munich malt.... been craving a light, grain based alcoholic liquid....

Light some paper towels on fire???

 

[bracconiere]

Light some paper towels on fire???

i think the resistor will do it...it gives me a range between room temp and 280f...i was playing around with it and 200ohm added to the circuit, i get 140f with the dial at 310f, and 280f in the oven at 450f...330f on the dial gave me 150f in the oven....

and there is a newspaper log making thingy where you compress wet newspaper into a log for burning...must be how they did it in 'the old'en days' before natural gas....have to keep that in mind in case i can't afford my gas bill! lol

 

[Zuljin]

If you're popping more than one batch of corn, you don't know what the fugazzi you're doing. Save some from that first batch to plant. It'll come up as popped corn. It's simple genetics. How do you think you can buy already popped corn?

And this malting grain is a sham. Look at a field of barley or wheat. What do you see? Yes! Barley and wheat plants. And how do you think they got that way? They sprouted! That's how they got to be plants. So, essentially, you're looking at a bunch of sprouted seeds. Why would you have to pick them off, sprout them, and then kill them? Think about it. You can't brew with dead seeds. Why do you think there are so many threads about missing OG and low alcohol? Because when you buy beer at the store, they add the alcohol to it.

But you think you can do that at home with yeast? Yeast!? You probably think when you open the pack that's the yeast you're seeing. Ha! Yeast is invisible. And we know invisibility is just make believe comic book stuff so all you're paying for is some little gelatin balls. Yeast! Whatever.

And there is no two tenths. Do you even have an elementary school degree? You mean a fifth, and of course a fifth makes a difference in the ABV. You drink a whole fifth and you'd be lit, right? That's how it gets in the beer. They pour it in. The beer is just flavoring, really.

This forum is so much misinformation.

 

[bracconiere]

lol....actually i only miss my OG when i don't let the acrospire get long enough to come out the husk. so that it can add protein to the beer.

and no i didn't graduate elementary school, but .2 was two tenths, and 1/5 was a fraction....

and also Mmmmmm, wheat grass juice! just like a hippie, or if we're adding alcohol to spike it hipster!

 

[bracconiere]

you know, i'm drinking some unintentional sour beer right now...damn thing took off fermenting over night somehow, before i even had a chance to add yeast to it.

thinking to myself, doesn't taste 'bad', hell my favorite candy when i was a kid was sour candy....so i might have been shooting at a deer, and hit a rabbit. but it's still dinner!

and as a joke, i guess on myself...i decided to save the yeast, and just repitched it into my current batch! lol

 

[Henkelton9]

Browns won!!!

 

[bracconiere]

Browns won!!!

is that the team that Budweiser is giving away free beer? lol, run to the now unlocked coolers!