Cuss me out for being a crappy homebrewer! lol

[bracconiere]

you know i was getting cussed on the 'Are you brewing a BRÜT Today' forum....i got cussed out in the brewing science forum for saying in my experience .2 ph makes a big difference....

just so i don't contaminate other threads with how much people hate me...thought i'd make my own thread to be an 'angry alcoholic' and get in fights with people... and i'd have to say ...lol...because if you can't tell from this i don't do angry very well....

So let's start out with my homemalt, i make my own malt, and i swear it's better then store bought..just like a BRÜT has more hop flavor... i'm assuming than bud light....

and i use a MW-101 ph meter for reading my ph, don't calibrate as often as i should, but can say... a 2 tenths difference in ph gives me a BIG difference in efficiency....and there's know way to know your water chemistry well enough to 'predict' ph

and i welcome the cussing, i just don't like getting cussed in someone else's thread....


i figure i'm so good at it, i'd like to see how many posts i can get on my own....

and yes this crappy post is JUST to get negative posts from people that make good beer...because i think i got misled from my alcoholic liquid one, where they were reassuring that 'i was a homebrewer'...

anyway, i've been drinking hope to get cussed out for all this and...HAVE FUN! that's what we're all doing this for!

as an edit i think BRÜT is a marketing gimmick from micro breweries trying to compete with the popularity of bud light...

 

[Murphys_Law]

You must be a terrible home brewer, you jack ass! 2 tenths...idiot!

I know, pretty weak, sorry. But that’s all I have. [emoji1]

 

[bracconiere]

You must be a terrible home brewer, you jack ass! 2 tenths...idiot!

I know, pretty weak, sorry. But that’s all I have. [emoji1]

fudge you, that's logarithmic, that's 2/tenths times 2tenths! all those extra OH, and H ion's **** up my efficiency!

thanks for replying though!

 

[NGD]

Somehow I think someones going to bring up politics any minute now. Wheres the popcorn?

 

[Pkrd]

Wheres the popcorn?

You don't grow and dry your own popcorn? What sort of loser are you?

 

[Hopalong]

Because of stuff like that, I brew no beer during Dog Moon.

 

[bracconiere]

Somehow I think someones going to bring up politics any minute now. Wheres the popcorn?

to get compared to trumps tweets in a homebrew forum is great...if that's what you meant....

I lost the love of my life, with the hop farming idahoan's.....

 

[NGD]

You don't grow and dry your own popcorn? What sort of loser are you?

I planted a crop. Just lost it in the maize. #dadjokes

 

[S-Met]

DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!

SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS TOFFEE-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!

 

[radwizard]

You're just a gimmick trying to compete with the popularity of homebrewing

 

[bracconiere]

You're just a gimmick trying to compete with the popularity of homebrewing

Homebrewing is just a fad! lol no one will ever stick with it just to save $7000 a year on beer....

and yes i drink about a twelver on my 'days off'...so it saves me that much money in a year!

last year i only spent like 600 on drinking the whole year, and that included a 150 used fridge for lager...or in my case crap that i fermet at 54f with lager yeast...just for the fun of temp control!

and, no, i don't lager it, as soon as it fermented dry it goes on tap! lol, i'm impatient...

 

[BeerBrewerTrain]

Brewers are like hops, Alpha's lead by example and beta's QQ.

 

[bracconiere]

fraid' i'm neither...as someone mention about my pic of my vanity tub full of sprouting barley...in the you know your a homebrewer thread...lol

but in my defense at least i'm not drinking this! (but have in the past)

 

[Rodent]

you farkin' Bud Light drinker you ... it's O'Douls bastages like you that give a bad name to legit home-brewers everywhere. you can take your Black Label nonsense and shove it right up your Zima. I had a "friend" who posted some yeast cake trub like that once - ONCE!



(I tip my hat to Johnny Dangerously)

 

[bracconiere]

Bud light? no, i stand against the InBev cartel! O'Douls? no i prefer my beer to be constantly 8% alcohol actually, i even use table sugar when my efficiency is a little low....for calorie counting and all...

and no me drinking a twelver of 8% beer most days, would light a fire under the prohibitionist ***** so bright! and being that i even malt my own, there wouldn't be much they could do about it! no higher taxes, no laws will deter me!

on a side note, in case they tried Sterilizing the barley, i do want to learn how to use Koji mold properly...i learned how to grow shiitake mushrooms and the like, so i know sterile tek, but never could get the damn crap to convert starch....

 

[bracconiere]

all i did was ask what a brÜt was is another thread....and got cussed more then this, you know i reuse the yeast sludge at the bottom of fermentor for sometimes a year+! i just say if it ain't broke don't fix it! and i think i actually like the taste of 'infected beer' better!

 

[bracconiere]

i ferment at room temp in AZ too! gets to be like 85-90f indoors here....lol, i just figure i can fill a couple of cornies quicker that way!

 

[day_trippr]

You must know @ismellweird

 

[bracconiere]

damn, now i have reading, a quick search just said something about cake beer and MN.....says that they haven't been seen since July 5th though....

and yes, i should have posted this in drunken ramblings..!

 

[davidabcd]

You don't grow and dry your own popcorn? What sort of loser are you?

That was solid writing. Very well done.

 

[davidabcd]

This is too adult for me.
I'm going back to the Introduction forum and welcome new brewers though I should, ethically, warn them.

 

[MaxStout]

I was growing popcorn before it was mainstream. Organic, non-GMO, heirloom popcorn, using only natural grass-fed goat shiat for fertilizer and watered with pure rainwater.

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Pfft... If you are saving money by home brewing, you clearly don't know what you are doing! You probably reuse your yeast 20 times until it devolves into sourdough starter, and mash your grist in the bathtub!

Homebrewing is just a fad! lol no one will ever stick with it just to save $7000 a year on beer....

and yes i drink about a twelver on my 'days off'...so it saves me that much money in a year!

last year i only spent like 600 on drinking the whole year, and that included a 150 used fridge for lager...or in my case crap that i fermet at 54f with lager yeast...just for the fun of temp control!

and, no, i don't lager it, as soon as it fermented dry it goes on tap! lol, i'm impatient...

 

[bracconiere]

Pfft... If you are saving money by home brewing, you clearly don't know what you are doing! You probably reuse your yeast 20 times until it devolves into sourdough starter, and mash your grist in the bathtub!

i actually get more like 50 uses out of my yeast.....And no it's not sourdough... lol the last expensive piece of equipment i bought was a HF gear drill for my mill...60 bucks...

no i just sprout in the bathtub, i have a round 10 gal rubermaid cooler for mashing....not sure how i would sparge in the tub?

and didn't breweries used to just open a window to get yeast?

 

[bracconiere]

and as far as popcorn, i got depressed when Bernard jensen's vegetable seasoning was discontinued, and don't eat popcorn anymore....i grew up on it, and now the whole topic of popcorn is depressing....lol

 

[Pkrd]

I was growing popcorn before it was mainstream. Organic, non-GMO, heirloom popcorn, using only natural grass-fed goat shiat for fertilizer and watered with pure rainwater.

Popped over an open fire, burning with wood from trees you cut down with your own bare hands or GTFO.

 

[bracconiere]

lol, yeah so this thread is a 'B' movie...just thought i'd start it so i can refer people too it if i post in another one, so i don' take their's over....

 

[bracconiere]

damn, i thought this got deleted, glad to see just moved to an apropriate topic...lol

and yes i think brüt (yes if your going to sound like a fancy european, use Alt+0252) is no better than the made up word "Häagen-Dazs", because the guys wife said it would sell better if it sounded european! lol brüt is craft light beer....

a quote, "designed for all-day drinking.", just like, "tastes great won't fill you up"

now it's just "tastes great won't fill you up, but it's double hopped"...

 

[GoeHaarden]

LMAO...this thread is awesome. It does seem like more and more people are getting sour on HBT lately...must be a moon cycle of something!?

Anyways, can we be friends even if I decided to sell my pH meter as I quit using it? Blasphemer...

 

[bracconiere]

LMAO...this thread is awesome. It does seem like more and more people are getting sour on HBT lately...must be a moon cycle of something!?

Anyways, can we be friends even if I decided to sell my pH meter as I quit using it? Blasphemer...

lol, moon cycle huh? maybe we'll sync up, so i don't have to loose my good friends! not many people have the 'balls' to make 'any' drugs for them selves...instead worships BMC, and el chapo!...

And yes we sure as hell can be friends....even if you sold your ph meter, which i wonder what the resale value is....

Do you get a intense and distinct sense of pride drinking your OWN beer? damn, then i like you!

But this is the cuss me out thread and i'd point out 'why would you sell your ph meter, don't you know just .2 makes about a pound difference in grain efficiency!" that's like a whole dollar a batch of beer! lol, or in my case being a crappy homebrewer....if i don't hit my mark i just add 50 cents table sugar....

as far as PMS'ing homebrewer's, probably started, if true, when i joined because of my dislike of dope-cook's and drug 'dependence'...

 

[GoeHaarden]

lol, moon cycle huh? maybe we'll sync up, so i don't have to loose my good friends! not many people have the 'balls' to make 'any' drugs for them selves...instead worships BMC, and el chapo!...

And yes we sure as hell can be friends....even if you sold your ph meter, which i wonder what the resale value is....

Do you get a intense and distinct sense of pride drinking your OWN beer? damn, then i like you!

But this is the cuss me out thread and i'd point out 'why would you sell your ph meter, don't you know just .2 makes about a pound difference in grain efficiency!" that's like a whole dollar a batch of beer! lol, or in my case being a crappy homebrewer....if i don't hit my mark i just add 50 cents table sugar....

as far as PMS'ing homebrewer's, probably started, if true, when i joined because of my dislike of dope-cook's and drug 'dependence'...

Haha. If I don't hit my mark, well, I don't really care. I waste more money on stupid sh*t than to worry about a few efficiency points. I'm not trying to sell the stuff, and I think my beer is better than most of the craft breweries around. Plus, I enjoy the hobby too much to get up tight about it. Everyone else can f'off with their superior knowledge and knowitall attitudes.

For me, pH is more of a ballpark type of thing, and I like to think I catch a fly-ball every once in a while. I read on another thread somewhere that you're actually supposed to take a pH reading at 30 mins. Didn't know that, but at that point...what's the point!?

And don't call my pseudo-alcoholism a dependence...a**hole! just trying to follow the rules here!!

I still can't believes you use table sugar and not corn sugar! Hahaha

 

[bracconiere]

Haha. If I don't hit my mark, well, I don't really care. I waste more money on stupid sh*t than to worry about a few efficiency points. I'm not trying to sell the stuff, and I think my beer is better than most of the craft breweries around. Plus, I enjoy the hobby too much to get up tight about it. Everyone else can f'off with their superior knowledge and knowitall attitudes.

For me, pH is more of a ballpark type of thing, and I like to think I catch a fly-ball every once in a while. I read on another thread somewhere that you're actually supposed to take a pH reading at 30 mins. Didn't know that, but at that point...what's the point!?

And don't call my pseudo-alcoholism a dependence...a**hole! just trying to follow the rules here!!

I still can't believes you use table sugar and not corn sugar! Hahaha

wait pseudo-homebrew alcoholism? **** man i was calling spending 120 dollars or whatever the methamphetamine costs these days, dependence...homebrew is Freedom, in the extreme, just as god wills it!.(no i don't go to church, i just like dropping the god word for drama)....lol

As the ph matter, i agree whole heartedly...at best your ph will be 5.2-5.3, at worst 5.6-5.0....still only makes about a 5% difference on efficiency.....which i got cussed out about saying is a huge one....it's only like a pound of grain for a 10 gal batch.....but does make a difference....

and as far as table sugar instead of corn sugar...i like cider and don't mind a little of the flavor in my beer! lol

i've been drinking, and going over and over this post for too long now, i'm glad it got moved to drunken ramblings where it belongs! ahh damn, just remembered the reason i want 1.060 EVERYTIME and ferment dry is for calorie tracking software! should have said that! anyway, drink a homebrew for me! love it no matter what! and enjoy the feeling!

 

[bracconiere]

just thought i'd share the barley sprouts going into the oven for my next addition to the tally for 2018! 170f for 12 hours.....be brewing day after tomorrow

 

[day_trippr]

Am I seeing actual green growth?

 

[bracconiere]

Am I seeing actual green growth?

i don't think so, not on the malt, maybe a little left over mouse bait to the left of the oven....i live in South east AZ, mice and roaches are facts of life....

my camera is from 1999 or some **** like that too....(i know , i know, why do i try i mean poopy)

 

[SevenOaks]

DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!

SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS TOFFEE-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!

I’m sorry, this is abuse. I came here for an argument.

 

[bracconiere]

I’m sorry, this is abuse. I came here for an argument.

i don't know about parrot droppings, but i could say. "I bet your a beer snob that thinks his **** don't stink", my **** stinks, but it's still cheaper and more flavorful than milwaukee's 'best'...name one alcoholic that would turn down a 85cent gallon of 8%! no matter how bad it was!

i think i need to learn to use asterisks in cuss words too, poopy doesn't quite sound the same as s*it....

 

[Andrew Hodgson]

I bet you drink your beer without extending your pinky. Trash.

 

[arturo7]

I bet you drink your beer without extending your pinky. Trash.

That only works when you’re sitting at a bar or a table. If you’re standing up your pinky should be supporting the bottom of your glass.

 

[bracconiere]

I bet you drink your beer without extending your pinky. Trash.

no but it does taste like preparation "h"....especially when i get too much efficiency and it comes out 9.1% alcohol instead of my usual 8%....

we won't even talk about some of my stouts...lol