cat-proofing a keezer

[jack13]

So I found some old threads on this, but nothing jumped out as an elegant solution. The problem is the potential for a cat to push a tap handle. Unless you have an unusually smart and considerate cat, this would result in an empty keg and a very, very wet floor.

Solutions fell into 3 basic categories:
1-kill the cat or otherwise render it physically incapable of pushing a tap handle or anything else
2-train the cat to not jump on keezer
3-rig the taps so a cat would be incapable of accidentally (let's assume) opening the tap

My preference happens to be in reverse order. Ignoring option #1, I'm sure I could do #2, but for peace of mind I'd like to go with strategy #3.

As a quick fix when I (very recently) realized my cat has been messing about on top of the keezer for some reason, I just unscrewed the tap handles. But that's a bit of a PITA. The only other thing I can think of that fits the bill is to attach a 2x4 (or whatever size works) to the lip of the lid, which would thus be behind the taps.

What I'm looking for is a not-too-ugly solution that requires no, or at least very minimal, work when pouring a pint. I don't care if it's a lot of one-time work; just don't want to have to, for example, screw on and off tap handles all the time.

NOTE: I don't care about the cat being ON the keezer. I normally use a chalk magic marker rather than regular chalk, which doesn't lead to pawprints. I used regular chalk this time just to see how much she was on the keezer while I was away.

 

[treacheroustexan]

They sell tap locks, but you have a lot of taps and it's probably not convenient but I'll post it anyways:
https://www.kegworks.com/metal-beer-kegerator-faucet-lock

Also, if you have flow control faucets you can just turn them all the way down and that should act as a shut off.

 

[ong]

What about a peg at the tip of each arrow, with a rubber band holding the handle in the closed position? You could probably even pull a pint without removing the rubber band.

 

[Jayjay1976]

Is there a particular beer your cat likes to drink? Just stop brewing it!

I'd rig up a long U-shaped bar that hinges to the lid and flips down to block the tap handles from being pulled. Kinda like the drop-down shoulder restraints on a roller coaster. You could probably repurpose a chrome rod or some shiny stainless bar stock to make it look good.

 

[augiedoggy]

long bungee cord holding all taps closed..

 

[treacheroustexan]

long bungee cord holding all taps closed..

This is a good idea! Put two eye hooks on each side of the keezer collar and hook a bungee cord to it

 

[Lefou]

Mmmm... I prefer the Czech Pilsner.
You're right. I'd have a hard time keeping my paws off that.

 

[drgonzo2k2]

long bungee cord holding all taps closed..

I did something very similar to child proof/cat proof my keezer a couple of years ago.

What I did was install two eye hooks for each tap (one on each side of the handle). Then I threaded Velcro cable ties through the eye hooks behind the tap handle, and they wrap around the handle to connect to the velcro on the other side.

Stop cats from opening them completely and is enough prevention that it's easy to catch kids fooling with them before they do any damage. Only adds about 2 seconds to each pour to undo the velcro.

Let me know if it's not clear from the description, and I can add pictures.

 

[kevin58]

We have these to keep the cat off of furniture. Should work on top of your keezer.

https://www.chewy.com/mammoth-x-mat-foldable-pet-training/dp/108590

 

[Lefou]

Rule 1 about climbing cats ...
If they aren't allowed, that's typically where the insouciant little farts will be found.

Their paws are fairly sensitive so little sticky mats or spiky mats might repel them. They also have a good sense of smell and will "claim" areas that have a familiar scent they like.
The "smell game" sometimes doesn't work with them. What humans might consider annoying, cats might like. I know for a fact my cats practically swooned over mild chlorine and would follow my butt around after pH adjusting or shocking my pool.

 

[ong]

The thing to avoid is adding so many little cords and loops that you turn the keezer into a fun cat toy...

 

[bleme]

We have these to keep the cat off of furniture. Should work on top of your keezer.

https://www.chewy.com/mammoth-x-mat-foldable-pet-training/dp/108590

My mom had an electric version to train her dog to stay off the couch. I kinda liked sitting on it though...
https://www.amazon.com/d/Cat-Repell...=1545845286&sr=8-4&keywords=shock+pet+mat+cat

 

[S-Met]

I kinda liked sitting on it though...

Kinky...

 

[bleme]

Kinky...

I've always liked getting low-amp shocks. When we had an electrified livestock fence, I used to grab hold of it and meditate for a few minutes. The initial grab and the let-go was a little painful, but once I latched on, it was a very pleasant hum flowing through me.

 

[Tim Schmidt]

we had bought a motion activated air can sprayer. when ever the cat gets in range it sprays a blast of compressed air at the cat. cats really don't like this and will learn in a couple days to avoid the area. i think pet stores have these for around 30 bucks and they really work.

 

[Jayjay1976]

Replace all the tap handles with balls of yarn and train them to pour your beers for you. When I build my keezer I'm going to do this with my nitro faucet and send little Mr. Fuzzynuts to St. James's Gate to learn to finish my stouts with a shamrock in the foam.

 

[Rodent]

squares of duct tape, sticky side up, will train cats to keep off of kitchen counters, pinball machines, and just about any other surface that might otherwise be appealing to them and which they can't see what's on it until after they've jumped up and landed on it.

it doesn't typically take a second time unless a cat is stubbornly motivated. I'm ok leaving the tape stuck on them for a few minutes as a 'training aid' before removing it. they sure run around in a fit with tape on their paws

 

[BobBailey]

Intertap offers faucet closure springe that work really well. They also work well on my Perlick faucets. They fit inside the faucets and make them almost difficult to open.

 

[Jayjay1976]

Intertap offers faucet closure springe that work really well. They also work well on my Perlick faucets. They fit inside the faucets and make them almost difficult to open.

This would definitely be the easiest and best-looking solution.

 

[b-boy]

I second the flow control taps. I have them on my kegerator. They will completely shut off any beer flow. They are also great for minimizing foaming, especially on your first pour from a semi-warm tap. Definitely worth the extra $10.

 

[balrog]

Plexiglass, 2x4, a la old fashioned salad bar shield.

 

[imasickboy]

+1 to the self closing springs. $2 per tap, invisible, and really, really convenient for cats, and other people who have never tapped a beer and don't know wtf they're doing.

 

[jack13]

Thanks to all for these solutions. Knew I could count on you for great ideas...though I have a sneaking suspicion some were not 100% serious. haha.

Got a dozen thoughts running through my head. Once I sort it all out I'll post a picture.

 

[jack13]

Mmmm... I prefer the Czech Pilsner.
You're right. I'd have a hard time keeping my paws off that.

And it's a good one, too! It's the 4th one I've done with the same basic recipe and I've got it dialed in just how I like it. Did a taste test at Christmas with my brother and he preferred mine over Pilsner Urquell. And he wasn't lying...I'd have known.

 

[jack13]

It occurred to me I've been quite remiss.

 

[Lefou]

Ah, a youngster.

 

[Soulshine2]

So I found some old threads on this, but nothing jumped out as an elegant solution. The problem is the potential for a cat to push a tap handle. Unless you have an unusually smart and considerate cat, this would result in an empty keg and a very, very wet floor.

Solutions fell into 3 basic categories:
1-kill the cat or otherwise render it physically incapable of pushing a tap handle or anything else
2-train the cat to not jump on keezer
3-rig the taps so a cat would be incapable of accidentally (let's assume) opening the tap

My preference happens to be in reverse order. Ignoring option #1, I'm sure I could do #2, but for peace of mind I'd like to go with strategy #3.

As a quick fix when I (very recently) realized my cat has been messing about on top of the keezer for some reason, I just unscrewed the tap handles. But that's a bit of a PITA. The only other thing I can think of that fits the bill is to attach a 2x4 (or whatever size works) to the lip of the lid, which would thus be behind the taps.

What I'm looking for is a not-too-ugly solution that requires no, or at least very minimal, work when pouring a pint. I don't care if it's a lot of one-time work; just don't want to have to, for example, screw on and off tap handles all the time.

NOTE: I don't care about the cat being ON the keezer. I normally use a chalk magic marker rather than regular chalk, which doesn't lead to pawprints. I used regular chalk this time just to see how much she was on the keezer while I was away.

View attachment 604224

hold said mischievous cat under a tap(firmly) and pull the tap,soaking said cat. Force cat to endure a good soaking. Allow cat to run away . Cat will probably never go near the taps again.

 

[Lefou]

Directly punishing said naughty cat, depending on whether you're their Favorite Human or not, may induce holding a grudge.
When mine act up, I chase them down and give 'em hugs. Being the fickle, asocial personalities they are, it sometimes deters them without harming them - but they're all different in certain ways.

My little female cat loooooved me but barely tolerated my wife. Little Cat would catch things and intentionally put them, dead or alive, into wife's shoes.
Never mine, only hers .

 

[Soulshine2]

30 yrs ago my ex-wifes ( we were still in the dating stage then) cat used to run across the room just to bite me. I decided when it would bite me I'd stick my finger in its open mouth ,thereby allowing itself to gag itself on my finger. After a week , the cat stopped biting me and eventually became my friend . YMMV

 

[Tobor_8thMan]

It occurred to me I've been quite remiss.

View attachment 604312

I don't know. That cat looks evil and looks like it was made to push keezer taps (joking).

 

[jack13]

Directly punishing said naughty cat, depending on whether you're their Favorite Human or not, may induce holding a grudge.
When mine act up, I chase them down and give 'em hugs. Being the fickle, asocial personalities they are, it sometimes deters them without harming them - but they're all different in certain ways.

My little female cat loooooved me but barely tolerated my wife. Little Cat would catch things and intentionally put them, dead or alive, into wife's shoes.
Never mine, only hers .

I'm definitely her favorite human!

 

[jack13]

Update, y'all:

I decided to exploit the homo sapiens - felis catus strength differential, i.e., to shorten the tap handles to a point that makes them tougher to open. Plus the tops of the handles are now below the level of the top of the keezer. So they should not likely open from various cat messings-about (which are ostensibly not purpose-driven...right...right?).

Cutting the tap handles revealed that the taps are hollow, so I finished by glueing pennies on top.

Here's a picture:

Thanks again for the ideas!

 

[jack13]

Was just reviewing ideas above in case the cat is much stronger than I thought...

Thought I'd mention that the reason I did not go for the spring idea, which only allows beer to flow if you hold the tap open, is that would make it very hard for me to bottle beer from the tap using my current method. Said method--which I like and doesn't require any equipment--requires two hands, leaving me no free hand to hold the tap open.

 

[Jayjay1976]

Said method--which I like and doesn't require any equipment--requires two hands, leaving me no free hand to hold the tap open.

Are you still brewing with just the two hands you were born with? How quaint. I've evolved a third brewing-specific limb that can simultaneously hold my beer, check my fly, and wink at the ladies. This leaves my two ape-limbs free to hoist and squeeze my bag, crank the ole' malt crusher, etc.

 

[jack13]

Are you still brewing with just the two hands you were born with? How quaint. I've evolved a third brewing-specific limb that can simultaneously hold my beer, check my fly, and wink at the ladies. This leaves my two ape-limbs free to hoist and squeeze my bag, crank the ole' malt crusher, etc.

You know, there are some posts that leave me not knowing where to even begin a reply. Above is one.

 

[Cantina De Jefe]

What about an inline shutoff valve upstream of the tap? Would be invisible from the exterior.