beer sayings and one liners

[brewhead]

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
--Dave Barry

post yours

 

[El Pistolero]

No thanks, one more and I'll turn invisible and bullet proof, and I'll be lookin to breed something.
--Earl the Coon Hunter

 

[SwAMi75]

"Gimme one for the ditch!"
-- Former drinking buddy, Darren

 

[2nd Street Brewery]

"Honey, one more then I'll be right home"

 

[Dude]

"I'll have what the gentleman on the floor is having..."

 

[sudsmonkey]

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
- Ben Franklin

 

[wild]

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. -- W. C. Fields

Wild

 

[Sir Sudster]

Reality is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.

 

[kenmc]

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. - can't remember.

 

[timdsmith72]

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra

 

[ScottD13]

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

 

[Rhoobarb]

"I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming." -- Homer Simpson

 

[Born Brewing Co.]

"Beer...the cause and solution to all of life's problems" - Homer Simpson

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case...coincidence?

 

[homebrewer_99]

Work - the curse of the drinking class!

Sign carried by a guy bumming money (supposedly for food) - "Why lie? I need a beer!"

 

[SwAMi75]

Not really a beer quote, but one of my favorites:

"You're not drunk if you can lay on the floor without hanging on."

--Dean Martin

 

[rogerdoct]

Beer, helping homely people get laid for thousands of years...
Roger "Doc".

 

[clef]

"The first drink makes you a playful gazelle, the second a dashing zebra, the third a roaring lion, and the fourth a silly ******* again." - Turkish Saying

 

[andre the giant]

"Praise not the day until evening has come;a sword until it is tried; ice until it has been crossed; beer until it has been drunk" - Viking proverb

 

[andre the giant]

One of my favorite college drinking songs wasThis 1700's drinking song:

Down Among the Dead Men

Here's a health to the King, and a lasting peace
May faction end and wealth increase.
Come, let us drink it while we have breath,
For there's no drinking after death.
And he who would this toast deny,
Down among the dead men,down among the dead men,
Down, down, down, down;
Down among the dead men let him lie!

"Dead men" would be the "dead soldiers" or empties that are strewn around under the table at the local pub. So, if you choose not to drink with us, we'll lay you out flat!

 

[kenmc]

I drink therefore I am.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

If after 11 pints your beer becomes strangly pale and tasteless, youve probably finished your pint. Get someone to buy some more for you. If the opposite wall is covered in flourescent lights, you have fallen down drunk. Get someone to tie you to the bar counter.

 

[rogerdoct]

"Make beer, not bombs!"

The slogan for my local homebrew supply store, "The Beer Nut" in Salt Lake City... They even have it on a bumper sticker and t-shirts!

Roger "Doc".

 

[Sir Sudster]

Hey Great, think we can get Al Qadea to wear um!

 

[rogerdoct]

I doubt it, "good muslims" don't drink...
Roger "Doc".

 

[sudsmonkey]

My Dad used to drink Pearl Light. He told me once that there was trivia on the can. Here's one from him.

The more you drink, the smarter you get.
- Charlie Croom

 

[Rhoobarb]

I had to look this one up, but I recalled it fondly -

Cliff Clavin explaining his "Buffalo Theory" to Norm Peterson at Cheers:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

 

[sudsmonkey]

My God, man! You're a genius! Apparently, I'm well on my way as well.

 

[MrBulldogg]

"Recently, I began to feel this void in my life, even after meals, and I said to myself: 'Dave, all you do with your spare time is sit around and drink beer. You need a hobby.' So I got a hobby. I make beer."
-- Dave Barry

 

[Baron von BeeGee]

Just about any Normism!:

SAM : What'll you have, Norm?
NORM : Well I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll have a glass of whatever comes of whatever comes out of that tap.
SAM : Oh, Looks like beer, Norm.
NORM : Call me Mister Lucky.


WOODY: Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you.
NORM : I know, and if she calls, I'm not here.


WOODY: Hey Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost been nipping at your nose?
NORM : Yep. Now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?


COACH: Can I draw you a beer, Norm?
NORM : No, I know what one looks like. Just pour me one.


COACH: How about a beer, Norm?
NORM : Hey I'm high on life, Coach....Of course, beer is my life.


COACH: How's a beer sound, Norm?
NORM : I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.

 

[Ize]

"Care to donate 5 dollars to the indigent beer fund?"

-Panhandler on Fremont Street. in Las Vegas.

(and yeah I gave him the 5 bucks for creativity's sake....)




Ize

 

[uglygoat]

One should always be drunk. That's all that matters;
that's our one imperative need. So as not to feel Time's
horrible burden one which breaks your shoulders and bows you down, you must get drunk without cease.
​

But with what?
With wine, poetry, or virtue
as you choose.
But get drunk.
​

And if, at some time, on steps of a palace,
in the green grass of a ditch,
in the bleak solitude of your room,
you are waking and the drunkenness has already abated,
ask the wind, the wave, the stars, the clock,
all that which flees,
all that which groans,
all that which rolls,
all that which sings,
all that which speaks,
ask them, what time it is;
and the wind, the wave, the stars, the birds, and the clock,
they will all reply:
​

"It is time to get drunk!
​

So that you may not be the martyred slaves of Time,
get drunk, get drunk,
and never pause for rest!
With wine, poetry, or virtue,
as you choose!"

​

Charles Baudelaire