Ask me anything!

[Psylocide]

Hey guys... far be it for me to start rounding up.

Do you think this is a game? We are tasked with delivering measured quantities of alcohol into peoples brain holes, and you want to start throwing around hundredths of point around all willy ****ing nilly?

I say, good day sirs.

 

[Brettomomyces]

Hey guys... far be it for me to start rounding up.

Do you think this is a game? We are tasked with delivering measured quantities of alcohol into peoples brain holes, and you want to start throwing around hundredths of point around all willy ****ing nilly?

I say, good day sirs.

Over the line!

 

[JINKS]

Why do the amount of buns and hotdogs in the packages not match? 8 buns 10 hotdogs? Does not compute

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Why do I feel like the intended purpose of this thread has been completely hijacked and replaced by a bunch of unrelated (and some quite incoherent) questions, which has broken the spirit of the OP and probably chased him from not only the thread but possibly the site?
Sadly i am also forced to ask the following as well:
Why does this amuse me so?

 

[Brew_Dude41]

And does that make me a bad person?

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Why do I feel like the intended purpose of this thread has been completely hijacked and replaced by a bunch of unrelated (and some quite incoherent) questions, which has broken the spirit of the OP and probably chased him from not only the thread but possibly the site?
Sadly i am also forced to ask the following as well:
Why does this amuse me so?

Because you have a long, sadistic streak.

And does that make me a bad person?

Absolutely! Good job! Let's party!

 

[hunter_le five]

Why do I feel like the intended purpose of this thread has been completely hijacked and replaced by a bunch of unrelated (and some quite incoherent) questions, which has broken the spirit of the OP and probably chased him from not only the thread but possibly the site?

Troo, but c'mon, the whole premise of this thread was a little silly. Why would I ask a brewing question to exactly one person, who admittedly doesn't know very much, when I can ask the forum populace as a whole and benefit from their collective knowledge and experience?

Wouldn't that yield far more productive, fruitful answers?

So on that last note: whut is the best kind of fermenter to use?
Glass carboys, plastic carboys, buckets, conicals?
Which one of these answers is the correct one, and why is everyone else who disagrees with you wrong and deserve to be punished?

 

[Black Island Brewer]

So on that last note: whut is the best kind of fermenter to use?
Glass carboys, plastic carboys, buckets, conicals?
Which one of these answers is the correct one, and why is everyone else who disagrees with you wrong and deserve to be punished?

And so Armageddon is unleashed! DEATH TO THE STAINLESS AND PLASTIC INFIDELS! LONG LIVE THE BLEEDERS!

 

[Psylocide]

Glass carboys are best because you can worry more about whether a bubble or yeast raft looks like an infection, then you can post here and ask about it.

Also, they are more fun to clean.

Also, the OP really shouldn't be run off for good... I mean, it's not that big of deal.

Also, I answer questions in beginners area all the time and I don't know jack ****. It's all good.

 

[steveoatley]

I was wondering if the OP might share his wisdom about tonight winning Lotto number ?
Does he have them ?
Would he be willing to share them with me, privately ?

Thanks
That's is all

 

[Brettomomyces]

What kind of airlock is best? 3-piece, s type, glass?

Or space?

 

[Psylocide]

I'm afraid I can't answer that Dave.

 

[hunter_le five]

What kind of airlock is best? 3-piece, s type, glass?

Or space?

Space, but only if operated by HAL.

"Release the excess CO2 HAL."

 

[drainbamage]

Troo, but c'mon, the whole premise of this thread was a little silly. Why would I ask a brewing question to exactly one person, who admittedly doesn't know very much, when I can ask the forum populace as a whole and benefit from their collective knowledge and experience?

Wouldn't that yield far more productive, fruitful answers?

So on that last note: whut is the best kind of fermenter to use?
Glass carboys, plastic carboys, buckets, conicals?
Which one of these answers is the correct one, and why is everyone else who disagrees with you wrong and deserve to be punished?

I ferment in a distended yak stomach, which unfortunately limits me to brewing only classic Mongolian styles.

 

[Psylocide]

Space, but only if operated by HAL.

"Release the excess CO2 HAL."

You've got to be ****ting me....

 

[hunter_le five]

You've got to be ****ting me....

bahahaha whoops

I AM YOU

 

[singybrue]

What kind of airlock is best? 3-piece, s type, glass?

Or space?

Glass, cause you can smoke your crackrock out of it as well.
I'm all about multi-purpose equipment.

 

[TheCADJockey]

Glass, cause you can smoke your crackrock out of it as well.
I'm all about multi-purpose equipment.

You may want to consider one of these drinking tools then.

The KNOCKOUT

 

[BeerGrylls]

Why do I feel like the intended purpose of this thread has been completely hijacked and replaced by a bunch of unrelated (and some quite incoherent) questions, which has broken the spirit of the OP and probably chased him from not only the thread but possibly the site?
Sadly i am also forced to ask the following as well:
Why does this amuse me so?

Schadenfreude

 

[Jhubbard9]

Hello all, due to the influx of question I have been not able to reply. While I was sanitizing bottles I was thinking hey I should check what my good people over at HomeBrewTalk are doing. So today while my bottles are getting a good wash I decided to answer a few questions! 1. does my mom know how to spell condom? Of course she doesn't or else I wouldn't be here. 2. Do helicopters eat their young? Yes, when selective pressure is high and food is scarce helicopters are known to eat their young. 3. Can milk replace lactose? Yes, keep doing that and you'll be fine. 4. Bread in beer not getting you drunk? You're doing something wrong, whenever I just eat bread I get drunk so obviously something is wrong. 5. When did I ever say I didn't know that much, but it was a good call because obviously I don't. Now on too some real questions (hopefully). There was a question about decoction mashing and acid rest. When determining when to use an acid rest or any type of temperature rest it all depends on what recipe. Different recipes excel with decoction mashes and temperature rests, while others can be made just fine with a simple infusion mash. My advice would be to check if other similar recipes call for the type of mashing method and see where they rested their temps at. While infusing mashing is very simple comparatively, decocotion mashing has the advantage of being able to release certain enzymes and control Ph with much more control than infusing mashing resulting in better beer. The great part about beer is that you can make it as simple or as hard as you want. Mix things up and record EVERYTHING. Who knows maybe you'll make a new style. Another question was about what yeasts to use. Yeast is IMPORTANT in beer probably the most important. Yeast is overlooked but its what makes not only the alcohol we love but also the flavors that make beer! When determining what yeast to use do what you have already done, find a yeast with your qualities you want Flocculation, attenuation, target temps, and also the type of beer it is usually used for. Like I said before beer is awesome because you can do WHATEVER you want. You can stick with what you know or go with a whole new yeast and see what happens. If you're making a beer and intent on making a beer with a flavor you had once made before use the same yeast. When changing yeasts know that while it is an aggressive fermentor it can also change the flavor of the beer completely! Experiment and see which you like and the flavor it imparts. While hops, barley and water can affect flavor, yeast imparts sooooo much more flavor than anything else. Have fun and don't be afraid to stick your head out and try something new. Dry yeast like an Sa04 ferment quick, clean, and have medium to high flocculation with an awesome temp range making it super easy to get good beer, but can also be "plain". Using a Nottingham might give you a better flavor profile but also might have more stingy temp range and be a little more picky when it comes to fast fermentation or flocculation range. P.S. watch your fermentation temps!!! Hopefully all the serious people found this helpful! For all you trolls out there...Keep posting ridiculous stuff its actually super entertaining! Thanks all!

 

[mkyl428]

otherwise - what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

African or European?

 

[soccerdad]

Somebody has been studying

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Yay, OP is back!

Serious question:
Getting ready to use my 1st dry yeast, US-05, what is the process i should follow for rehydration/pitching, and should i target as my ferm temp?

 

[Jhubbard9]

Yay, OP is back!

Serious question:
Getting ready to use my 1st dry yeast, US-05, what is the process i should follow for rehydration/pitching, and should i target as my ferm temp?

Good question! Whenever I use dry yeast there are two ways I have done it to success one is very simply. Simply sprinkle the yeast over the cooled wort after aerating and let the process begin. A lot of people think dry yeast HAVE to be re-hydrated which really just isn't true. I have done many batches by just sprinkling the yeast on the wort and sealing it up. While it is not recommended I have gotten very good results just doing this and it also cuts down on potential contamination as I will explain further in my next method. Another way you can pitch dry yeast is of course rehydration. What you want to do is sanitize a bowl (like a cereal bowl or a little bit smaller) and fill that up with tap water(boil for best results). Boiling will reduce any unwanted contaminants. Some suggest to sprinkle yeast on top of the water and have the water be around 105 F. I don't like such a high temp so my temp for rehydration is around 80-95 F just so I don't scorch the yeast. Don't mix the yeast in just let them sit on top and fall into the water naturally. After the yeast have fallen in the water and have clumped together get a sanitized spoon and mix the yeast together into what is called a slurry. Once this is complete pitch yeast into your chilled wort and let the magic happen! For fermentation temperature this yeast is awesome, Its range is so broad it can even be used as a lager yeast if done the right way. For an ale temp fermentation a good starting point would be around 68 F. If you have no way of controlling temp to the nearest degree ( refrigerator with a temp controller) try to keep it at around 68 F for best results and avoid swings in temp. If you have a temp controller and fridge set the fridge to 70 F when just pitched which help the yeast consume oxygen within the wort and rebuild their cells walls to start the process of cell budding. Once there is decent activity in the airlock turn the temp down to 68 F and let the yeast do their thing until your wort has attenuated out. Once almost done with fermentation kick the temp back up to 70-72 F. This will help the yeast absorb any diactyl left in the wort and help create a better flavor profile. Always make sure you don't rush your fermentations and let the yeast have a diacytl rest to help improve taste in your beer. If you cant control temps just keep a steady temp and your beer will be great too! Things to remember: keep fermentation temps regular, always let your beer fully attenuate, sanitize thoroughly especially when rehydrating and introducing new water into your wort, and aerate your wort so yeast can have enough dissolved oxygen to rebuild cell walls for budding. Keep the questions coming and I hope this helps!

 

[brew_ny]

Yay, OP is back!

Serious question:
Getting ready to use my 1st dry yeast, US-05, what is the process i should follow for rehydration/pitching, and should i target as my ferm temp?

good read about dry yeast

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f163/dry-yeast-faq-441967/

I like US-05 at 65 degrees F for a good clean ale

all the best with your brew

S_M

 

[cjgenever]

Yay, OP is back!

Serious question:
Getting ready to use my 1st dry yeast, US-05, what is the process i should follow for rehydration/pitching, and should i target as my ferm temp?

Sprinkle the yeast onto wort if you want half of it to die immediately. It will still ferment the wort.

I like to rehydrate in cooled boiled tap water that has not been oxygenated. Don't use distilled, it will leach minerals out of the cells. Let the yeast warm up to room temp and pitch it into the water ( 85-90°f). Let it rest for fifteen min. NO MIXING. You do not want to introduce oxygen until ready to pitch. Once the cell absorbs oxygen it will begin using its carbohydrate reserves. When ready to pitch mix it into a slurry and toss it into your oxygenated wort.

 

[Jhubbard9]

I've gotten a 1.070 beer to attenuate out to an FG of 1.013 by sprinkling it in lol. But like I have said beer is all about what you want to do with it sprinkle it in let it sit...hell introduce oxygen into it. People think they can control yeast and how it acts and how to keep it living but the truth is with yeast its out of the brewers control. So dont take my word for anything and especially the guy above my post word for anything either. I just give tips but truthfully there is no right way to brew beer. Basically there are guidelines and after that just use your imagination.

 

[lumpher]

what's the meaning of life?

42

 

[beerkench]

Why is my airlock not bubbling?


Sent from hell
using Home Brew

 

[Psylocide]

AHHHHHH, MY EYES!!!!

Paragraph breaks dude.