Am I crazy, or is my neighbor?

[Rhumbline]

...and so it begins.

 

[Pkrd]

It's not an either or question.

 

[passedpawn]

Why don't you just move your swingset to the back yard?

 

[Rhumbline]

This is not at all what I want, so i'll do my best not to have it go down this path. I'm not going to escalate things, she's retired and has infinite time to devote to a war, thus i'm already behind.

Case and point, my wife and talked and we're still going to invite them to our big annual Oktoberfest party in a few weeks, if only so she doesn't call the cops on us when we party until 2AM. Now if she still calls the cops i'll have some choice words for her at that point. I hope this gesture will allow us to maintain the 'I don't like you but i'll play nice to your face' relationship we've had the last 3 years since we moved in.

Bull****, you are going to extend a half a$$ed invitation that you know won't be accepted, just so you can feel justified in retaliating against her if anything goes wrong with your party. What if it's a different neighbor who calls the cops? What if a cop just happens to be driving by and gives you grief?

You don't have to like her, you do have to be able to coexist peacefully. I'm sorry to say this but you deserve all of the grief that life has in store for you if you continue down this road.

Move the swing set.

 

[Pkrd]

Put a flagpole on it and run up the stars and stripes?

 

[SharonaZamboni]

I live in a somewhat rural area where there's all manner of stuff in people's' front yards. Some look like dumps, some like perpetual tag sales, some are impeccably groomed and landscaped. I actually enjoy checking out the yards and seeing interesting things. A swing set, especially one with happy children playing, would make me smile.

I own ( for now ) a house in a fancy neighborhood in the southwest. Never lived in the house, but spent vacations there. The HOA is so tightly controlled that at times, I honestly could have had trouble determining which house was mine without the house number. All the dang houses even have the very same number tiles! It all looks so neat and nice, but soul-suckingly dull. You can never tell if someone's home or not, because the cars are all garaged. Likely due to the infernal heat, but still, I think there's a rule about it.

Put up your little fence and keep the yard neat. You should also get a nice dog, maybe a Golden Retriever or German Shepherd. I love seeing kids and dogs.

 

[Roadliner]

That's the difference between a rural county living situation and a neighborhood. When you live in a neighborhood.. you take on an agreement with you neighbors to maintain a certain look. If you don't like your neighbors saying something about what you do in your front yard.. maybe you should have moved into that rural country environment.

My neighbors keep well manicured lawns and good curb appeal. I'm expected to do the same or they'll be telling me to take care of my stuff to maintain the look of the neighborhood.

 

[Kharnynb]

I live in a somewhat rural area where there's all manner of stuff in people's' front yards. Some look like dumps, some like perpetual tag sales, some are impeccably groomed and landscaped. I actually enjoy checking out the yards and seeing interesting things. A swing set, especially one with happy children playing, would make me smile.

I own ( for now ) a house in a fancy neighborhood in the southwest. Never lived in the house, but spent vacations there. The HOA is so tightly controlled that at times, I honestly could have had trouble determining which house was mine without the house number. All the dang houses even have the very same number tiles! It all looks so neat and nice, but soul-suckingly dull. You can never tell if someone's home or not, because the cars are all garaged. Likely due to the infernal heat, but still, I think there's a rule about it.

Put up your little fence and keep the yard neat. You should also get a nice dog, maybe a Golden Retriever or German Shepherd. I love seeing kids and dogs.

wow, that house in the neighborhood sounds like my nightmare....houses and yards are meant to be lived in, not showrooms...

Sure, don't make it a huge mess, but over here, everyone has their own ideas of how to do a yard, and it makes for a much nicer neighborhood.

Only one person a few blocks over has done the whole "display-garden" thing, and it looks horribly out of place.

I prefer if people grow their own appletrees, berry bushes and whatever they like, like most finnish do in their yards. trampolines, swingsets etc. are common here, and noone cares.

 

[blizzard]

That's the difference between a rural county living situation and a neighborhood. When you live in a neighborhood.. you take on an agreement with you neighbors to maintain a certain look. If you don't like your neighbors saying something about what you do in your front yard.. maybe you should have moved into that rural country environment.

My neighbors keep well manicured lawns and good curb appeal. I'm expected to do the same or they'll be telling me to take care of my stuff to maintain the look of the neighborhood.

The opposite response is: if you want a certain specific and tightly controlled aesthetic, move to a neighborhood with a tightly regulated HOA. Golden is a place with lots of families, which includes kids playing on bikes, sidewalk chalk, and swing sets. If you don't want that, don't live there.

I agree the OP should be a good neighbor and it sounds like he is planning to keep a fenced and well-maintained front yard. I don't like every plant, border, or paint choice my neighbors make, but it's their property. This complaint isn't anywhere near toilet planters and junk cars. If he wants a swing set in the front yard and he keeps the place looking nice, what is the big deal?

 

[Roadliner]

I agree. Like I said originally. As long as it looks good and is well maintained, I would live with it. i wouldn't be calling the city or anything.

I'm just saying you shouldn't be surprised by your neighbors having something to say about what you do with your front yard. Curb appeal changes property value. A swing set in a front yard could potentially cost a sale. It's not just your property in a neighborhood.. it's a communal look.

If you move into a neighborhood where there are jungle gyms and tree houses in the front yard, then that is the norm, and by all means. If you move into one where you no one else has that, don't be surprised if your neighbors object to you doing it. The whole "well it's your property" argument is a selfish way to look at it.

 

[blizzard]

I agree. Like I said originally. As long as it looks good and is well maintained, I would live with it. i wouldn't be calling the city or anything.

I'm just saying you shouldn't be surprised by your neighbors having something to say about what you do with your front yard. Curb appeal changes property value. A swing set in a front yard could potentially cost a sale. It's not just your property in a neighborhood.. it's a communal look.

If you move into a neighborhood where there are jungle gyms and tree houses in the front yard, then that is the norm, and by all means. If you move into one where you no one else has that, don't be surprised if your neighbors object to you doing it. The whole "well it's your property" argument is a selfish way to look at it.

Seems like we're largely in agreement. I have a hard time with the 'it's my property' argument. Yes, it's selfish to look at it that way, but it's also selfish to dictate what other people near you can do. You get both sides that abuse it. And ultimately, I agree that the law isn't the test that measures a good neighbor, but it's arguments like these that are the reason some local ordinances exist - because we don't always all agree on what is acceptable. In this particular case, I have a hard time imagining that a neighbor with swings is going to drive down property value, so I side with the OP. I just wasn't convinced he's being a bad neighbor.

 

[Roadliner]

nah.. I don't think this would make him a bad neighbor at all.

You'd be surprised what people look for in curb appeal though. When we sold our last house we had to cut down the brush and stuff in the unused lot next to us because potential buyers were complaining about it. Just a wooded lot where no one even lived. we cut and trimmed it up... house sold 2 days later. I was shocked that a wooded lot where no one lived was even a consideration.. lol, it was one of my favorite parts about the property.

 

[alphaomega]

Seriously? I don't know how it works in the states, but here we will probably sell our swingset cheaply on a garage sale to the next neighbour, when our kids outgrown it.
I'd probably just sell the house and move somewhere where kids/families are welcome. It just seems so distant to me, where I live, that anyone would complain at the sight of a swingset.

 

[Roadliner]

lol I'm sure there are a lot of things different from the US and Sweden..but, we mostly do it the same over here.. we just expect that garage sale bought swingset to go from our back yard.. to their back yard. Backyards are where we hangout. I even installed gates on both sides of my fence to make it easy for our neighbors and their kids to come over and hang out.

Front lawns have very long been a visual symbol here. Well manicured and well landscaped. Doesn't make them unusable though. We play in sprinklers and have picnics and games in ours, and clean up afterward. Most are usually free of structures and toys though. it all depends on where you live and the makeup of the neighborhoods.

I wouldn't attach not liking a swingset in the front to families and kids not being welcome.

 

[Kharnynb]

I think this has a lot to do with how neighborhoods are built too.

In the USA, you guys tend to have perfect straight rows upon rows of nice square plots with nice square yards.

Over here, houses and streets are built rather less "neatly" in blocks, so some people might have a front yard that's only a small bit of grass, some have huge front yards but no back yard, or side-yards.

In my case, we have a yard that wraps around the house and is pretty big even by finnish standards. Most of our stuff is around back, but the front yard is fruittrees, berry bushes, some grass and a nice 2 meter tall hedge up front to block out the street(no sidewalk on our side of the road).

We also have the rest of the yard surrounded by a lilac tree -fence, lovely in spring and good privacy during the rest of the year.

While we have neighbors on all sides, the next spot over, the forest starts and there isn't a building until the next neighborhood 2 km over...

The people living opposite of us have big front yards, but barely any backyard, so we understand if they have swings etc or even their bbq's there.

 

[alphaomega]

Yeah, I guess it depends on the neighbourhood. We have a few houses around here that are storing a bit of junk in the yards (visibly). Crappy cars and old snowmobiles and such. I can't say that I wouldn't like it if it was removed, but I really don't care that much either.
Lots of families around here and the toys almost litter the streets I really don't mind that, but on the other hand, we have kids.
I just want to offer my support for the OP. Maybe it isn't that obvious that your kids can play in the front yard. But the world is a sick place. Even if he has to remove the swingset, I still think he is in the right here. I cant imagine his kids playing and having fun, or even just the swingset itself, would be such an eyesore.

 

[edues]

Some people are just weird! I would blow em off. They'll get over it. I once had a next door neighbor who called the cops on me for snow blowing snow on there yard. I couldnt help my driveway was next to there yard. The sad thing was I got ticketed for littering. She must of gave the cop more than just a donut for that one.

 

[HausBrauerei_Harvey]

Bull****, you are going to extend a half a$$ed invitation that you know won't be accepted, just so you can feel justified in retaliating against her if anything goes wrong with your party. What if it's a different neighbor who calls the cops? What if a cop just happens to be driving by and gives you grief?

You don't have to like her, you do have to be able to coexist peacefully. I'm sorry to say this but you deserve all of the grief that life has in store for you if you continue down this road.

Move the swing set.

They have come to our party the last 3 years, as she is so nosey she has to see what changes I have made to the house, as she knew the previous owners well. I have every intention of trying to coexist peacefully, not sure how you got the other impression. I will continue to do my best to be cordial to her.

Case and point: Yesterday my wife is home on maternity leave for kid #2, and says the neighbor starts BLASTING music with all the windows open just when it's time for our 2.5 year old to take his afternoon nap. She correctly says, i'm not playing her game, it's so loud she cant stand it that long so she shuts our windows, and 20 minutes later the music stops. This shows 1) We dont want a neighbor war here, and 2) she is nuts.

But with that said I am not moving the swingset for her crazy ass, the only way i'm moving it is if somehow there is acity ordinance against it I wasn't aware of and she has the city MAKE me remove it. Our nieghborhood is in transition from old retirees who have lived there 20+ years to young families, i've had over 5 people (all younger folks) walk by and tell me they love the swingset. The nicer old folks in the nieghborhood also told me they are happy to see kids having a nice time in the front yard.

Our backyard is tiny, it's only about 20x40 feet and the kids love to run around back there and I enjoy sitting there and enjoying the great views of the mountains. If I put the swingset there I have 1) a small backyard that consists just of a swingset, and 2) a large front yard which I still dont use. The front yard makes the most sense for me.

 

[b-boy]

Come on, are you saying you wouldn't approve of a bathtub Jesus?

What else are you going to do with an old bathtub?

Bathtub Buddah?
Bathtub Muhammad (That will get you killed)
Bathtub Confucius?
Bathtub Joseph Smith?
Bathtub L. Ron Hubbard?
Bathtub Satan?

 

[b-boy]

Come on, are you saying you wouldn't approve of a bathtub Jesus?

What else are you going to do with an old bathtub?

Bathtub Buddah?
Bathtub Muhammad (That will get you killed)
Bathtub Confucius?
Bathtub Joseph Smith?
Bathtub L. Ron Hubbard?
Bathtub Satan?

 

[JonM]

What else are you going to do with an old bathtub?

Duh, that's what homebrewers make beer in.

 

[HausBrauerei_Harvey]

What else are you going to do with an old bathtub?

Bathtub Buddah?
Bathtub Muhammad (That will get you killed)
Bathtub Confucius?
Bathtub Joseph Smith?
Bathtub L. Ron Hubbard?
Bathtub Satan?

in this neck of the woods i think a bathtub peyton manning would get much praise.

 

[agrazela]

Satan would be in an old Weber grill

 

[harleybug88]

What else are you going to do with an old bathtub?

Bathtub Buddah?
Bathtub Muhammad (That will get you killed)
Bathtub Confucius?
Bathtub Joseph Smith?
Bathtub L. Ron Hubbard?
Bathtub Satan?

Ahh... let me sit down a minute to think about that.

 

[watermelon83]

You can see the lust in their eyes!

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

You can see the lust in their eyes!

Of course. He's got big ****s.