Alright Village Elders, What's my next move?

[Klainmeister]

Quick story; I've been dating one of my best friends for the last 2 years, real serious relationship although we had some rough spots...after my visit with her down in Arizona I headed out here to Germany for studies and get a memo a few days ago pretty much saying we're toast and need to stop talking. This is coming from someone i've literally talked to everyday for the last 5 years of my life. I'm not really sad or angry or anything, after Arizona i pretty much got the message.

I was just going to throw the question out there to you guys: what did you do after a major breakup? If i was back home I'd go out with the buddies partying or something, but I'm pretty well alone here in Deutschland seeing as though my research group is composed of 3 other people.... So, how'd you deal with these situations? Any advice from the tried and tested to a young buck like myself?

Time for another beer

Prost

 

[david_42]

In every case, I've seen it coming, so I just continued my normal activities. Twice, that involved helping them move. Sounds like you're off the hook for that.

Considering where you are: ROAD TRIP to breweries you haven't tried!

[or maybe train]

 

[Klainmeister]

Agreed upon the beer notion and being off the hook. Pretty well far-removed from any sort of activity that'd require me to come in contact for atleast the next 3 months.

Breweries, it's ridiculous! I'm in Kassel in Hesse and there is crap for breweries up here. I went to Andechs, Weihestephan, Kaltenberg and Augstiner whilst I was in Bavaria 2 weeks ago, but here in Hesse I know of two, both of which brew practically only Pilsner! Don't get me wrong, i like Pils as much as the next guy, but damn, i miss those Helles and hefes already...

 

[Bernie Brewer]

In my case, I made absolutely sure to keep busy. I worked two jobs, played in something like three or four different softball leagues, one or two dart leagues, and a horseshoe league. I hardly ever slept, I was so busy. But it worked- I had absolutely no time to think about the breakup, and after a little while I was glad she did it. Soon after that I met SWMBO, and we've been together for over 20 years.

 

[BlindLemonLars]

Like David, I've always seen such events coming well in advance, so it's almost a relief once it happens. At some point, you realize that a relationship is beyond fixing and beyond your control, so you've got to let it go. I've been through this wringer a few times, so I know how you feel. It's a wide range of emotions, difficult to describe with mere words.

My advice would be to not rush into any new serious relationships, but take the opportunity to pursue as many casual ones as you can! Be safe, be considerate, and be honest with the ladies you meet...in other words, have some fun while you can without doing any damage to yourself or others. Whatever happens, keep your toes tappin' and enjoy yourself in some way each and every day. Make a point of it!

When you do come across somebody you can be serious about, you'll know. Meanwhile, enjoy yourself and your new found freedom. So many things to do, places to go and people to meet!

 

[Klainmeister]

Yeah, keeping busy is something that traditionally that has always worked. I can't believe how much spare time i have here in Germany though, it's boggling my mind. I went to a few bars and clubs trying to meet some people, but oddly enough this town lacks a big night scene. Eh oh well, i'm usually an incredibly relaxed guy, still am, so I'm just soaking it in and not worrying about it.

I'll tell you what though--not having a cell phone makes a huge difference!

 

[RICLARK]

I listened to a lot of music and Worked 100+ hours a week, Its always best to keep busy and to not rebound to another girl right away it isn't fair to them.

 

[uglygoat]

find a german girl? :fro:

 

[Klainmeister]

find a german girl? :fro:

currently working on it. i might've set my sites too high though

 

[BlindLemonLars]

currently working on it. i might've set my sites too high though

This is the PERFECT time to adjust your sights for a wide latitude! Just because I wouldn't want to own a particular car, doesn't mean I wouldn't like to drive it for a few days!

 

[z987k]

This is the PERFECT time to adjust your sights for a wide latitude! Just because I wouldn't want to own a particular car, doesn't mean I wouldn't like to drive it for a few days!

well said.

 

[homebrewer_99]

If you're in Kassel you need to go a bit more south to the Wildflicken exit and go to Kreuzberg Monastery where they have excellent brew and food...if I were available (for the trip) I'd take you along...anywho, it's on the map.

If you get to Staffelstein, between Bamberg and Coburg there's a Greek restaurant there owned by some friends of mine, Iannos (John) and Elizabeth. Jpohn speaks good English, but you have to speak German or greek to Elizabeth. We met at her sisters wedding who married the landlord of a friend of ours. A couple years later me and my wife met up with Iannos in Greece for a weeks vacation.

Everytime I took people there their first dinner and drinks were on the house. Me, I pay for my meal and beers, but the Ouzo is free... ...it's called Mykonos. The only Greek restaurant in town.

Bamberg has 9 breweries including the Schlenkerla which is the home of Rauchbier. Around the 22d of July they have Magic Day. There are street performers and magic shows all over altstadt or "old city".

At the end of August they have the Sandkerwa...if you see ANY signs for a Kerwa...just go!!! They are street beer fests put on by the church.

On the hill in Kassel is the Hercules statue and park. North of the city is a place called Saba, if memory serves me correctly, that is the traditional Sleeping Beauty Castle. It's now a hotel and restaurant.

The Grimm Brothers lived and worked in Kassel for some time.

 

[BierMuncher]

Dude......




You're in Europe......




She's not.......



Get yourself a digital camera...
Party your ass off in every major European city you can get to...
Get along side any hot chics you can....
Snap some unbelievable photos...
Email her the photos...

Resume the partying and repeat as necessary.

 

[niquejim]

Dude......




You're in Europe......




She's not.......



Get yourself a digital camera...
Party your ass off in every major European city you can get to...
Get along side any hot chics you can....
Snap some unbelievable photos...
Email her the photos...

Resume the partying and repeat as necessary.

Damn we think alike

Go to Norway and Sweden(if you like blondes )

 

[Klainmeister]

If you're in Kassel you need to go a bit more south to the Wildflicken exit and go to Kreuzberg Monastery where they have excellent brew and food...if I were available (for the trip) I'd take you along...anywho, it's on the map.

If you get to Staffelstein, between Bamberg and Coburg there's a Greek restaurant there owned by some friends of mine, Iannos (John) and Elizabeth. Jpohn speaks good English, but you have to speak German or greek to Elizabeth. We met at her sisters wedding who married the landlord of a friend of ours. A couple years later me and my wife met up with Iannos in Greece for a weeks vacation.

Everytime I took people there their first dinner and drinks were on the house. Me, I pay for my meal and beers, but the Ouzo is free... ...it's called Mykonos. The only Greek restaurant in town.

Bamberg has 9 breweries including the Schlenkerla which is the home of Rauchbier. Around the 22d of July they have Magic Day. There are street performers and magic shows all over altstadt or "old city".

At the end of August they have the Sandkerwa...if you see ANY signs for a Kerwa...just go!!! They are street beer fests put on by the church.

On the hill in Kassel is the Hercules statue and park. North of the city is a place called Saba, if memory serves me correctly, that is the traditional Sleeping Beauty Castle. It's now a hotel and restaurant.

The Grimm Brothers lived and worked in Kassel for some time.

Jeewhiz! Thanks for the heads up. I was wondering when you or EdWort were going to chime in. i definitely need to get down to Bamberg because the only smoked beer i ever had was my friends homebrew that taste like liquid smoke.

 

[arturo7]

A) You're a chump.

B) She digs you but has set you free, knowing time abroad will affect changes. If you come back for her she wins. If you don't it was her choice.




(sorry if this is a bit harsh, I been drinkin')

 

[Klainmeister]

A) You're a chump.

B) She digs you but has set you free, knowing time abroad will affect changes. If you come back for her she wins. If you don't it was her choice.




(sorry if this is a bit harsh, I been drinkin')

I don't even know what this means...she's going through some difficult life choices right now and just the emotions i feel between us have changed significantly. It was kinda a mutual...well...shoot. This isn't my first time abroad, in fact, since we've been together I've been to Germany 3 times. Eh whatevs.

Have your drinks, i'll join ya. Prost

 

[MikeFlynn74]

Dude-

Coke and whores! Nows your chance man!

 

[EdWort]

find a german girl? :fro:

+1 Enjoy the local scenery while you can, Stimts oder Nichts?

 

[Klainmeister]

Richtig, aber hat Kassel keine Jungenszene. Nächste Woche ist den ersten Mai, die ganze Stadt ist eine Party, vielleicht habe ich glück!

Prost

 

[homebrewer_99]

Richtig, aber hat Kassel keine Jungenszene. Nächste Woche ist den ersten Mai, die ganze Stadt ist eine Party, vielleicht habe ich glück!

Prost

Ja, aber Manner hab mehr gluck wenn wir sind nicht schauen...

Viel Gluck mein junge freund!

 

[Klainmeister]

Ja, aber Manner hab mehr gluck wenn wir sind nicht schauen...

Viel Gluck mein junge freund!

Ich glaub das auch, hoeffentlich etwas gut kommen wird.

Naja, fragst du wieviel kostet eine flasche Pilsner Urquell? Nur .40 Euro! Schade männer, ich hab glück!

 

[BakerStreetBeers]

After my breakup a couple of months ago, I got back into brewing after a 10-15 year hiatus. I also built myself a nice big kegerator.

But since you're here you probably already brew so I will just second biermunchers very excellent proposition. Be sure and share any good pics with the group

 

[Klainmeister]

Pics huh? I'll see what i can do about that....

 

[kornkob]

I gues the first thing to do is make sure that ' pretty much saying we're toast and need to stop talking' actually means that the relationship is over. All people sometimes have trouble accurately and precisely expressing themselves. Sometimes this will make them will choose instead to imply a breakup in order to allow the other person to leave, absolving themselves of responsibility for the breakup and at the same time avoiding expressing complex emotions. The reverse is true as well-- sometimes people will assume that there is an implied breakup, in order to avoid expressing complex emotions or dealing with difficult problems.

I guess I'm saying that saying 'pretty much saying we're toast and need to stop talking' sounds pretty imprecise to me, leaving room for misinterpretation.

Second, sit down with yourself and think very carefully. Are you really okay with this or are you just making the choice that is easiest for you. Sometimes you have to take great effort to preserve a good thing, sometimes you have to fight for your relationships. Make sure, before you give up on this, that you're not abandoning something that you really care about, that you will not be made less by having allowed it to pass.


Finally, given that the breakup is whole and real be sure to delete her number out of your cell phone and delete her email address from your mail client. Drunk Dialing or inebriated Emailing is counterproductive and embarrassing. Don't be that guy.

 

[blacklab]

Dude-

Coke and whores! Nows your chance man!

I thought this was a beer thread and so was avoiding it. After reading a few posts - I thought I was going to be the first guy to get down to brass tacks.

The leash is off and now you have the freedom to let loose your inner p@#$$y hound.

Get as much tail as possible, as quickly as possible! I would imagine that in Europe this would not be an issue! Find out where the party is and head over there NOW.

Pics if possible for the ex(and us).

 

[vav]

Entspannen Sie Sich, Sorgen Sie Sich Nicht, Trinken Sie Ein Hauptbier

 

[homebrewer_99]

Jeewhiz! Thanks for the heads up. I was wondering when you or EdWort were going to chime in. i definitely need to get down to Bamberg because the only smoked beer i ever had was my friends homebrew that taste like liquid smoke.

Here's the Bamberg beer website:
http://www.beerguide.de/bamberg/bamberg.htm :rockin: I have been to every brewery there MANY MANY times.

At Michelsberg (the big church on the hill) the Frankisches Brauerimuseum (Franconian Brew Museum).

Up the hill from the Schlenkerla is the Dom, cathedral, which contains the grave of the only pope north of the Alps. We were there from 99-04. In '02 they celebrated that in 1002-1024 Kaiser Heinrich II (King Henry II) was the Holy Roman Emperor and Bamberg the capital.

If you go 3 exits south of Bamberg (11 miles) toward Nurnberg there's the Buttenheim/Altendorf exit. We lived in Altendorf for 5 years. Altendorf is over 900 years old. In Buttenheim there's the St. Georgenbrau and Lowenbrau breweries right next to each other. St George is a bit fancy (but has a great Kellerbier) while Der Lowen is homier...very friendly folks and more down to earth... As you are looking at the entrance to either look left down the road...about 100 meters on the left is the birth house of Levi Strauss...yes, the blue jeans guy...you can tour his house. They have self-guided tours with English audio headsets.

Viel spass!!

 

[Klainmeister]

I gues the first thing to do is make sure that ' pretty much saying we're toast and need to stop talking' actually means that the relationship is over. All people sometimes have trouble accurately and precisely expressing themselves. Sometimes this will make them will choose instead to imply a breakup in order to allow the other person to leave, absolving themselves of responsibility for the breakup and at the same time avoiding expressing complex emotions. The reverse is true as well-- sometimes people will assume that there is an implied breakup, in order to avoid expressing complex emotions or dealing with difficult problems.

I guess I'm saying that saying 'pretty much saying we're toast and need to stop talking' sounds pretty imprecise to me, leaving room for misinterpretation.

Second, sit down with yourself and think very carefully. Are you really okay with this or are you just making the choice that is easiest for you. Sometimes you have to take great effort to preserve a good thing, sometimes you have to fight for your relationships. Make sure, before you give up on this, that you're not abandoning something that you really care about, that you will not be made less by having allowed it to pass.


Finally, given that the breakup is whole and real be sure to delete her number out of your cell phone and delete her email address from your mail client. Drunk Dialing or inebriated Emailing is counterproductive and embarrassing. Don't be that guy.

This would be our third time having this type of breakup, i pretty well said in our last correspondence i don't want to keep doing this to ourselves. We're at different universities, different life goals and can't stand each others friends. Oh yeah, her dad's a pastor and hates my guts. Aside from us knowing every little thing about it eachother, there isn't much else to it. I am 98% this is the last straw. The good news is i got two free and awesome trips to arizona this last year because of it. Woot.

I won't lie though, it's going to be hard dating someone other than a redhead--they're f'ing crazy...if you know what i mean.

In honor of EdWort's avatar and my own newfound freedom, prost:

 

[paulthenurse]

Four words that will assist you in your recovery.













Get a haircut.
Frauleins.


PTN

ps +2 Kornkob
Delete the number and e-mail addy.