A VERY SERIOUS Poll about bears

[cheezydemon3]

How often, and for how many times do you re-use a bear?

 

[jerrodm]

Obviously, how much you spend on gnome detection/deterrence is largely related to your personal philosophies about brewing, the existence of small supernatural creatures, and your exposure to nuclear radiation. That said, I contacted these guys to come sweep my brew closet and identify likely ingress/egress ports for gnomes, and they wanted $10K minimum. Apparently, the iridium-laced meteorite material they use to detect gnome trails are incredibly difficult to come by...who knew?

Also, my dog's strong attraction to gnomes (apparently he's not the only one has made him a much more effective bear protector. You take what you can get.

 

[cheezydemon3]

Do you mean that your dog wants to chew on gnomes, or has a mis-placed sexual attraction to the little buggars?

Interesting either way.

Brew Faries have ever been the gift that keeps giving by keeping gnomes at bay for relatively little cost.

 

[ArcticBear]

i like to keep my bears chilled prior to pushing them into the carboy... makes them feel at home and keeps them fresh.

personally, the gnome issue is a little bit of a mystery to me, i've yet to see one with anything but my peripherals but i have noticed their effects... damn little bastids love to harass my bears and get them all riled up, mocking them from outside the carboy.

if there was a clear solution to allowing my bears proper time to do their thing, without the threat of gnomes, i would be all over it, even if it was sold by overprice blichmann... but for now, i'll just have to go with keeping my bears on a cold cycle for freshness

 

[jerrodm]

Do you mean that your dog wants to chew on gnomes, or has a mis-placed sexual attraction to the little buggars?

Interesting either way.

Brew Faries have ever been the gift that keeps giving by keeping gnomes at bay for relatively little cost.

The latter--I have to keep him on a leash when we walk past garden gnomes in the neighborhood. He really needs some friends.

As to the cost of fairy upkeep, I think it probably depends on what level of, erm, remuneration your fairies are accustomed to. Revvy's fairies would, one assumes, require a certain level of upkeep, which might get relatively expensive. My fairies might look like Roseanne Barr, but they get the job done, and don't need anything other than the occasional 10-pack of tacos from Taco Bell.

 

[Jayhem]

The effect of overuse of the homebrew end product. This thread.

 

[DrunkleJon]

I dry-bear my beers with a fresh cub each time. Yeah there is more of a chance the gnomes withh get in but thats prime beer-estate that they take up in your primary.

 

[jerrodm]

OK I know this is a little off-topic, but can anyone describe the flavor/aroma differences between different types of bears? I've pretty much always stuck with black, since I feel like it complements the darker beers that I prefer. Has anyone tried Kodiak, or maybe Panda? It would be interesting to try a combination of a few, but I don't know whether or not they'd get along in the carboy.

Also, this might be heretical, but any thoughts on koala?

 

[Cromwell]

I re-use my bear almost indefinitely. In addition, I find that oxygenating the bear each time with the little wand thingie is very good exercise for both me and the bear.

 

[sweetcell]

do NOT use bear pellets. always use whole bears. trust me on this one.

 

[Bithead]

Has anyone trid to gummy bear their beer? Or maybe teddy bear a batch?

 

[Ostomo517]

Am I just that much of a newbie? Cause im f***in lost!!

 

[jerrodm]

Start here. It may raise more questions than it answers, but that's clearly cheezydemon's fault. Cheers.

 

[Airborneguy]

Based on the poll results, there doesn't seem to be much of a consensus in the community on this topic. Maybe Basic Brewing Radio needs to do an experiment to figure this out?

 

[cheezydemon3]

Based on the poll results, there doesn't seem to be much of a consensus in the community on this topic. Maybe Basic Brewing Radio needs to do an experiment to figure this out?

You are so right.

With such a well thought out poll, you would think that the results would tell a clear story.

The only thing we agree on are brew faries....suprise, suprise.

The idea of the koala is a huge one. Anyone tried that?


only thing I can get around here is grizzly, and man are they mean. Also the hump on their backs does take more room..but please, lets not start that debate again!.

 

[Whattawort]

I'm still trying to get the bears and whales to play nice. One of them always seems to wind up floating tits-up in my fermenter. The gnomes and fairies can kiss the brownest part of my butt. Had an army of gnomes and veritable squadron of fairies try to take over my kegerator. Would have lost too if the keg hadn't already been kicked. Time to put out some S3ven dust and diatomaceous earth.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Has anyone here considered learning the faerie language? Notice how Malfet seems to have no faerie invasions...?

 

[jerrodm]

See, but I feel like I read somewhere that they only hear frequencies above 10000 Hz, and being a baritone I don't think there's any way I talk that high...

 

[Obliviousbrew]

Not only gnome detection is very expensive but bears too, of course you can always dry hop with salmons and hope that you attract a bear somehow but it´s a long shot and you never know what kind of bear you may attract, even getting a bear this way...lets just suposse that you were lucky enough and got yourself a free bear: do you know how expensive it´s to maintain a bear?. Also: beer losses due to bear fur liquid absorbtion rates, shaving the bear is not an option the bear beer will losse all complexity. A 10 gallon batch will be cut in half due to this problem. I´ll just keep dry hopping my pale ales with turtles thank you

 

[cheezydemon3]

I'm still trying to get the bears and whales to play nice. One of them always seems to wind up floating tits-up in my fermenter. The gnomes and fairies can kiss the brownest part of my butt. Had an army of gnomes and veritable squadron of fairies try to take over my kegerator. Would have lost too if the keg hadn't already been kicked. Time to put out some S3ven dust and diatomaceous earth.

This thread

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/i-am-idiot-353511/index111.html

Has a lot about GIANT subterranian fermenters with whales and bears.

I think that the concensus was that the only place they contact each other is on a huge stretch of ice with a "breathing hole" in a pretty isolated place, where the whales are afraid to stray too far for fear of not finding another breathing hole, and the bears wait around the hole and pounce repeatedly until they wear one out.

Unless doing a lager5, that is waaaay too cold for fermentation if you have that much ice.

Did you document the fairy revolt?

I know I have a pic somewhere, but.....dammit!

Anyone know where the pic of gnomes dressed as faries is?

 

[brewingmeister]

bears can smell the menstruation...you're putting the whole site in danger.

 

[jerrodm]

OK but I don't see how that helps with regular beers, since everyone knows that turtles are breeding grounds for brett...do you have some way of sterilizing them prior to pitching? I agree, aging a Flanders Red in secondary with a sea turtle for six months or so imparts some beautiful complexity. But you still need a bear for the everyday beers.

 

[Obliviousbrew]

Turtles have been used from ancient times and the industry still uses them today. Turtles are easy to catch if they run away. I don´t share the brett statment.

 

[DrunkleJon]

I woudd just be afraid of getting a fishy taste when baiting bears with salmon in the fermenter. And as for dry-turtling, Do you us the kind with four elephants balanced on its back bearing a large disc?

 

[Cromwell]

I woudd just be afraid of getting a fishy taste when baiting bears with salmon in the fermenter. And as for dry-turtling, Do you us the kind with four elephants balanced on its back bearing a large disc?

You're very clever young man, very clever. But it's turtles all the way down!

 

[Whattawort]

This thread

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/i-am-idiot-353511/index111.html

Has a lot about GIANT subterranian fermenters with whales and bears.

I think that the concensus was that the only place they contact each other is on a huge stretch of ice with a "breathing hole" in a pretty isolated place, where the whales are afraid to stray too far for fear of not finding another breathing hole, and the bears wait around the hole and pounce repeatedly until they wear one out.

Unless doing a lager5, that is waaaay too cold for fermentation if you have that much ice.

Did you document the fairy revolt?

I know I have a pic somewhere, but.....dammit!

Anyone know where the pic of gnomes dressed as faries is?

I didn't have my phone at the ready when they ambushed me. I was too busy swatting and kicking anyway.

FYI - polar bears + orcas + beer = epic battle & ruined beer
I think I'm just going to recruit a walrus and call it quits. The western alaska natives that brew on the sly will sell me one for a 24pack of toilet paper and 2 gallons of milk.

 

[Cromwell]

The First Peoples don't traditionally have much milk in their diet, so they're mostly lactose intolerant. They're going to need more than that 24 pack after 2 gallons of milk...

Besides, who ever heard of dry-walrusing? That's just silly. Now back to more serious stuff - Norelco or Gillette for the bear?

 

[Whattawort]

The First Peoples don't traditionally have much milk in their diet, so they're mostly lactose intolerant. They're going to need more than that 24 pack after 2 gallons of milk...

Besides, who ever heard of dry-walrusing? That's just silly. Now back to more serious stuff - Norelco or Gillette for the bear?

Oh, he's not for dry-walrusing. I just keep him around to ward off the gnomes and fairies. Apparently they hate marine mammals.....and bears. Stick a fat walrus in the fermenter and the gnomes and fairies avoid your beer like the plague.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Oh, he's not for dry-walrusing. I just keep him around to ward off the gnomes and fairies. Apparently they hate marine mammals.....and bears. Stick a fat walrus in the fermenter and the gnomes and fairies avoid your beer like the plague.

But, but, but I thought the faries were good to have. The gnomes are the enemies, the faries stave off DMS and other compounds that lead to off flavors.

 

[Airplanedoc]

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!