Wow, this thread took-off in ways I'd never imagined - I'll try to respond to multiples here:
I think my first batch of beer is good (for a 1st batch), but I have some specific critiques too. I think it is too malty/sweet/syrupy which is why the low-body comment was surprising (?). I thought the carbonation bubbles were large (like cheap seltzer), and they stack up and taste like nothing, instead of frothy/creamy small-bubbles. (maybe champagne-like? cheap champagne?)
More likely the beer just needs to age a bit and finish carbonating. If you aren't satisfied with the body and mouthfeel then, adding 4-8 oz of maltodextrin is the best method for an extract brewer.
The batch was also somewhat over-primed, using the recipe supplied sugar in what turned out to be only 37 12oz bottles. Is this why the bubbles were so large and froth-less? I thought body was more thickness? (carbonation alters perception?)
If you haven't been to the Oak Barrel, you should visit them. They were very helpful when I started brewing.
Yes, used to live ~1/4 mile from them, and they are still my main LHBS.
To the OP: the old guy's stuck in old ways and doesn't want to learn new tricks.
I'm happy to know I can safely reiterate my suggestions, and that he might have some science-like theoretical basis, though widely doubted
It's all good. I think we stayed on topic...the "SOB"...
I have had low-responses on previous posts (beginner questions with boring-sounding subject lines). I chose this title to ensure views, but I swear I hadn't even noticed the pun/acronym, nor imagined the response it might spark.
I'll reiterate to him that he might try some new things, and hopefully he notices improvement. I haven't particularly like his beer (could be cardboard, I'll have to taste it again). He admittedly strives for cheap/drinkable/repeatable beer, not great beer.
Thanks for the interesting exploration in conversation.
Aaron