A guy walks into a pub

[Dwain]

There's a million, but for now:

All I own is this old suitcase that I hide down by the tracks,
It holds a picture of my mom and dad with a letter that says please some day come back.
My ex girlffriend's worn out necklace and a book that I never read.
A church key and some bottle caps and a tiny bag of seeds.
- Mickey and the Motorcars

 

[KayaBrew]

"Me and my brother's old lady went out and got stinkin'
She solved her curiosity about me by the railroad tracks
She said I reminded her of him before he started drinkin'
and banging the babysitter every time she turned her back!"

~DBT

 

[Hugh_Jass]

Our Father who art in ?
Hallowed by thy glass
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On Earth as it is in the lounges
Give us this day our daily splash
Forgive us our hangovers
As we forgive all those who continue to hangover against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver from evil and someone you must all ride home

Because the piano has been drinking
And he's your friend not mine
Because the piano has been drinking
And he's not my responsibility

T. Waits

 

[yummybeer]

here's another:

in heaven, there is no beer
that's why we drink it here
and when i die and go to heaven
all my freinds will be drinking all my beer

 

[Seabee John]

I like beer. it makes me a jolly good fellow
I like beer. it helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow (makes him feel mellow)
Whiskey's too rough, champagne costs too much, vodka puts my mouth in gear
This little refrain should help me explain as a matter of fact i like beer
(he likes beer)

-Tom T. Hall

 

[MSweat]

I wish I was a trapper
I would give thousand pelts
To sleep with Pocahontas
And find out how she felt

-Neil Young

 

[bob1852]

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against
us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and
the lager.

Barmen

 

[MSweat]

One day this feller from Washington come by
And he spied us and he turned white as a sheet
And he dug and he burned
And he burned and he dug
And he killed all our cute little weeds
Then he drove away
We just smiled and waved
Sittin' there on that sack of seeds

-Jim Stafford

 

[bknifefight]

I'm glad that I'm not the only one who posted Tom Waits lyrics. Drinking and Tom Waits seem to just go hand in hand.

 

[skeeordye11]

"Stay positive and love your life" -311

 

[Homercidal]

The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.
-Floyd

 

[SPR-GRN]

I've got a lot to choose from, but this one makes me giggle, I sometimes let this CD play in my car with the volume real low to see how long it takes for people to catch some lyrics...

You're like my favorite underwear,
they're hangin by a thread,
I can't take you out in public,
but you're comfortable in bed
-the wet spots