A Christmas rant

[adiochiro3]

You are so talented!

I always make some form of food gift. Last year it was homemade vanilla extract, multiple jams, sauces, crackers, etc. In years past it has been biscotti, cookies, or whatever else floats my boat. it's kind of fun for me making and collecting stuff then sharing the love with my family.

Thanks. I also love the food gift ideas. I've received custom infused olive oils and liqueurs as well as the traditional baked goods -- all of which include the same personal investment as hand-made gifts. Well done!

 

[Zuljin]

I eat food.

 

[SchnookeredSir]

I'm in-between jobs. I went after a much better opportunity while dealing with a lot of BS in my old position. Well, the "break-up" didn't go at all the way I had hoped and ended up with zero income for 4 weeks while I anxiously awaited a start date. Moving back further, I took a massive pay-cut in the previous job because I wanted some stability. Long story short, I've been having to live paycheck to paycheck for the better part of the past 3 years. I sold my truck to get some quick cash to cover 2 months of bills.

So here it is, the Holidays and SWMBO has been uber depressed due to our situation right at the holidays. I got the edict that there will be no Christmas, no lights, no cookies, no nothing. It's been a real downer. The offer for the new job finally came through Thursday last week, and I start Monday. But now, I'm doing the yeoman's work of trying to let her know, "Yes Virginia, there is a Christmas."

My point is, be grateful for whatever it is you receive. I get crap from my in-laws every year that I would never use. But graciously accept it, and every year I sell it off at the big community yard sale in spring. Each day you have with friends and family is a gift. The material is bull. Get over your funk and look forward.

 

[unionrdr]

We didn't have Christmas at all last year. Trying to get something going this year...

 

[NC_Drewbrew]

I think that's a good way of looking at it. In my family, adults don't buy stuff for other adults for christmas (except their own kids). But my husband's family, a brother and sister with no families, insists on a "gift exchange". So I did it, twice. Before I learned.

They set a limit of $25. Ok, that's good.

Then, they give gift "suggestions" via email (they are not local). Here's what my brother-in-law said, "I only want two things. I want the Neil Young book and THIS t-shirt at THIS website in THIS size and color. That's it". His sister, "I'm not picky. I want a blue raincoat, with velcro closure, in a size medium, with a hood, with white striping on the side".

Um, ok. So, I buy you that raincoat. Why don't you just get it YOURSELF, and be done?

"Ordering" your gift really burns me. It's fine to give ideas, if someone really has no idea what you want or need. But to say, "I want XX item on XXX page of XXX catalogue" is really all about "me" and not about gifts. I dislike that.

I have the same issue with my brother and sister. We started a few years ago drawing names so we only had to buy one gift.(Two if you are married) and my wife and I would get a name and ask what they want. We would get a link to a website one time the link was to the check out page of the website with the item already there and ready to go. Just pay.

We have since stopped participating. Just buy it yourself. We go to dinner with the family but no gift exchanges. We are all adults. I just want to hang out with the family. No one has to buy me anything.

 

[passedpawn]

One Christmas, with no money in my pocket, I went out and sold my only prized possession, a pocket watch my dad gave me, to buy a set of combs for my wife.

While I was out, my wife went to the local hairdresser and sold her hair to buy a watch chain for my watch.

Anyone remember reading The Gift of the Magi?

 

[Billy-Klubb]

One Christmas, with no money in my pocket, I went out and sold my only prized possession, a pocket watch my dad gave me, to buy a set of combs for my wife.

While I was out, my wife went to the local hairdresser and sold her hair to buy a watch chain for my watch.

Anyone remember reading The Gift of the Magi?

this here is a true and somewhat sad story. it's about my great uncle on my mother's side. he wanted this fancy new rifle for Christmas. at the time (1930's) it cot $100. my great grandpa kept telling him it was too expensive, but the young man kept asking for it anyway. come Christmas morning, all he got from his father was a brand new bible. he was quite upset about it for many years. decades later, after his father had died, my great uncle was missing his dad and feeling a bit sentimental. for the very first time, he opened that bible his dad gave him for Christmas when he wanted that $100 rifle. he opened that bible and started bawling like a baby. this grown man with a family and lived through WWII, bawled like a baby when he saw a $100 bill in that bible his dad gave him.

 

[passedpawn]

this here is a true and somewhat sad story. it's about my great uncle on my mother's side. he wanted this fancy new rifle for Christmas. at the time (1930's) it cot $100. my great grandpa kept telling him it was too expensive, but the young man kept asking for it anyway. come Christmas morning, all he got from his father was a brand new bible. he was quite upset about it for many years. decades later, after his father had died, my great uncle was missing his dad and feeling a bit sentimental. for the very first time, he opened that bible his dad gave him for Christmas when he wanted that $100 rifle. he opened that bible and started bawling like a baby. this grown man with a family and lived through WWII, bawled like a baby when he saw a $100 bill in that bible his dad gave him.

That's a great story Billy! I've got an old bible handed down through the family, with all the birth and death records in the middle. It's got it's own provenance, an interesting story in it's own right. But it doesn't match that one!

 

[Billy-Klubb]

That's a great story Billy! I've got an old bible handed down through the family, with all the birth and death records in the middle. It's got it's own provenance, an interesting story in it's own right. But it doesn't match that one!

I don't know about that. every story is a story of a story.

 

[GHBWNY]

I'm hardly sure where to begin with you scrooges. You're doing it wrong.

I find great pleasure in making or finding a good gift for a loved one. I guess the gifts I'm most proud of are the homemade/handmade ones. I spend a lot of time thinking about the person while planning and creating the item. Over the years I've made:

wood and antler cribbage boards

leather wallets
guitar strap
knives & sheaths
cedar chests
pens

pepper mills
baby rattles

jewelery boxes
a powder horn

I've also received many thoughtful gifts that really blessed me. I never fail to remember the giver every time I pick one up.

The best gift I've ever received was a shot glass. I am a huge history buff. My son went to Normandy on a study abroad program and had the brilliant idea of filling that commemorative shot glass with sand from Omaha Beach. I get chills every time I pick it up.

The cribbage board is AWESOME! Our family goes back generations in being cribbage players. I have collected a few boards over the years that were unique, but I've never seen one like that. Beauty!

 

[passedpawn]

The cribbage board is AWESOME! Our family goes back generations in being cribbage players.

I'm a cribbage addict. I've even had a 19 hand!

 

[adiochiro3]

The cribbage board is AWESOME! Our family goes back generations in being cribbage players. I have collected a few boards over the years that were unique, but I've never seen one like that. Beauty!

Thanks! I got to know my FIL over a cribbage board 30+ years ago. Great game! I've made several antler boards, including two for my older kids (my youngest doesn't play ) I made them both for the same Christmas, and each thinks their own is the best, and they tease each other about it quite a bit. One thing about working with antler, though -- it STINKS when you cut, turn, drill or sand it.

Here is the inscription on the bottom of my son's board pictured in my above post:

 

[GHBWNY]

Thanks! I got to know my FIL over a cribbage board 30+ years ago. Great game! I've made several antler boards, including two for my older kids (my youngest doesn't play ) I made them both for the same Christmas, and each thinks their own is the best, and they tease each other about it quite a bit. One thing about working with antler, though -- it STINKS when you cut, turn, drill or sand it.

Here is the inscription on the bottom of my son's board pictured in my above post:

Man, that really got me. He'll treasure that forever. I made a pig-shaped checker board for my youngest daughter when she was little. Pigs were her favorite animal (maybe still are). I also inscribed the back of it and I think she treasures the inscription more than the board itself.

P.S. pigs also stink when you saw, sand or drill them! LOL

 

[Melana]

Man, that really got me. He'll treasure that forever. I made a pig-shaped checker board for my youngest daughter when she was little. Pigs were her favorite animal (maybe still are). I also inscribed the back of it and I think she treasures the inscription more than the board itself.

P.S. pigs also stink when you saw, sand or drill them! LOL

That is so cool!

Smoked pigs certainly stink when you saw, sand, or drill them... and it is a delicious stink.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

My wife's family asks what I want for Christmas. I tell them, the ONLY thing I want is cash/Visa gift cards to use toward upgrading my system. Shortly after that they email my wife asking for ideas.

Is my request really that terrible? I don't want "stuff." Don't look for the perfect gift. "Personal" or "special" gifts usually get shoved in the closet and forgotten. I just want to upgrade to electric, and I'm not giving you a list, because a) most of the stuff is more than you're going to want to pay, b) I'm looking for specialty items at specialty shops that you've never heard of, and c) I'm gonna shop by price/availability, which changes, especially during the holiday season.

CASH IS A PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE GIFT!!!

Is it just me, or does anybody else get hit with "I can't give you cash -- cash is so impersonal"?

Some might think cash or some sort of gift card is "tacky" or impersonal, and I can understand why some might think so, but if that's what you really want, all you can do is tell them when they ask; which is what you do. If they don't give you what you want, there are really 2 ways to handle it.

Tell them how you really feel (in a nice, diplomatic way) or say "thank you" when they give you something you didn't want & count yourself lucky that they cared enough to give you anything at all. There's a lot more to Christmas than getting what you want; it's nice to get exactly what you want, but there are many who get nothing and/or have nobody.
Just something you might want to think about.
Merry Christmas!
Regards, GF.

 

[eulipion2]

Some might think cash or some sort of gift card is "tacky" or impersonal, and I can understand why some might think so, but if that's what you really want, all you can do is tell them when they ask; which is what you do. If they don't give you what you want, there are really 2 ways to handle it.



Tell them how you really feel (in a nice, diplomatic way) or say "thank you" when they give you something you didn't want & count yourself lucky that they cared enough to give you anything at all. There's a lot more to Christmas than getting what you want; it's nice to get exactly what you want, but there are many who get nothing and/or have nobody.

Just something you might want to think about.

Merry Christmas!

Regards, GF.

I completely agree. As I've stated in other posts in this thread, I'd like to skip the gifts and just hang out, but I get shot down when I suggest it. I'm always grateful for the gifts they give me, whether I have a use for them or not, but I'm just saying, if they insist on exchanging gifts, I'll tell them exactly what I want, and that should be good enough.

 

[hunter_le five]

.....If they don't give you what you want, there are really 2 ways to handle it.

Tell them how you really feel (in a nice, diplomatic way)...

Meh, to me Christmas presents are not about what you want to get. Just seems like a self-centered viewpoint to me. It's about what someone wants to give you (the gesture, not the physical object itself).

I don't ask people what they want. I give them something I think they will enjoy. Even if it's something small and stupid.

If someone asks me what I want, I'll tell them something that I need, if I need something, or things in general that I enjoy to give them ideas (beer, whiskey, food, guns, brewing, motorcycles, camping, etc). Whether or not they decide to get that for me is not my concern. The only reason I even tell them that much is that I've found that people get irritated when I say unhelpful things like "I don't care" or "whatever" or "anything" or "nothing".

I agree with everything else you said though.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

I didn't mean to sound all "holier than thou" or anything. Sounds like you're stuck with your friends/family.
Regards, GF.

 

[unionrdr]

A hand for each hand was planned for the world, why don't my fingers reach? Millions of grains of sand in the world, why such a lonely beach? It gets that way around the holidays around here. Family scattered to the four winds, kids doing their own thing. Guess we're at the point in life where it stops giving & starts taking away?...

 

[DrunkleJon]

I hate coming up with gifts for people. Mainly because I dont like to settle on something. I want that perfect gift, and since I am an indecisive a**hole and hate shopping it is hard for me. When I do find that perfect gift I have to pick it up though. Like many of you I think of need when people ask what I want. I do not have much want, as I have far too much crap already and usually pick up what I want when I need it so am hard to shop for.

My family is very close. We spend the holidays with my dads side of the family and the occasional part of my moms. Luckily my family which is very close have implemented the "white elephant" exchange for the extended family adults and the kids (currently my 2 nieces) get actual gifts. I tend to get my parents gifts and try to find something for my brother and sister as well. The gift exchange gifts are usually gag type with a $25 limit and we get laughs out of most of them.

I just like being around my family. I just want good food and good times and I am happy

 

[MindenMan]

I am brought to the point of tears after reading this thread. When I was younger, it was all about friends and family, and memories that I still have in my heart. Every Thanksgiving the house was full of friends and family, and Christmas, and New Years for every year I lived at home. I miss the rest of my family, in that I mean my Father (who passed away almost a decade ago), my Mother who turned 91 this September, my Aunts and Uncles, including the ones that have gone to a better place, I know I will see them again. My older brother is a bully and a racist a-hole, and so are his wife and son, so my marrying a woman of color didn't go over very big I am sure, but he had the good sense to not comment, or I would have hurt him. Five years ago March, my Wife and I were married, and I got two great daughters out of the deal. Many years ago my wife started a tradition with the girls; new pajamas every year, and that is the one (and only) gift that is opened on Christmas Eve. I moved away from my family in 1983 for a job, and even though the job ended, I never moved back. I had some long-term deep seated issues that by the Grace of God, are long gone that kept me away.
Between 1983 and 2009, I celebrated three family (relationship) Christmas's, and was single the rest of the time, so I have been Bah, Humbug, on Christmas for almost three decades. My Wife and youngest daughter (17) really get jacked up about decorating the tree and the house, and I am just not interested in doing either one. My Wife gives me the stink-eye look, and I get out of chair and help decorate the tree. She says, "I hope you start enjoying Christmas by the time we have grand-kids." Ouch. When it comes to gifts, our list is very small, my Mom sends us each a little money, and we are all extremely grateful and let her know.
My wife has a nice collection of "antique" vinyl, and has had no turntable to play them on, for years, and she has mentioned it, for years, and, you get the point. So, this year I finally bought her a turntable, and she will brag to all of her friends what a nice turntable her wonderful Husband bought for her. She does talk like that, she is pretty wonderful herself. What is point to all of this? In spite of the fact some of your family members may be a-holes (like mine), and Christmas is over commercialized and all about money, and most of the people you really loved are no longer on earth, please don't do like like I did for the last 20 plus years and ruin the Spirit of Christmas for everyone around you; tell them you love them (anyway), and make an excuse to go visit as often as you can.

 

[Melana]

I am brought to the point of tears after reading this thread. When I was younger, it was all about friends and family, and memories that I still have in my heart. Every Thanksgiving the house was full of friends and family, and Christmas, and New Years for every year I lived at home. I miss the rest of my family, in that I mean my Father (who passed away almost a decade ago), my Mother who turned 91 this September, my Aunts and Uncles, including the ones that have gone to a better place, I know I will see them again. My older brother is a bully and a racist a-hole, and so are his wife and son, so my marrying a woman of color didn't go over very big I am sure, but he had the good sense to not comment, or I would have hurt him. Five years ago March14, my Wife and I were married, and I got two great daughters out of the deal. Many years ago my wife started a tradition with the girls; new pajamas every year, and that is the one (and only) gift that is opened on Christmas Eve. I moved away from my family in 1983 for a job, and even though the job ended, I never moved back. I had some long-term deep seated issues that by the Grace of God, are long gone that kept me away.
Between 1983 and 2009, I celebrated three family (relationship) Christmas's, and was single the rest of the time, so I have been Bah, Humbug, on Christmas for almost three decades. My Wife and youngest daughter (17) really get jacked up about decorating the tree and the house, and I am just not interested in doing either one. My Wife gives me the stink-eye look, and I get out of chair and help decorate the tree. She says, "I hope you start enjoying Christmas by the time we have grand-kids." Ouch. When it comes to gifts, our list is very small, my Mom sends us each a little money, and we are all extremely grateful and let her know.
My wife has a nice collection of "antique" vinyl, and has had no turntable to play them on, for years, and she has mentioned it, for years, and, you get the point. So, this year I finally bought her a turntable, and she will brag to all of her friends what a nice turntable her wonderful Husband bought for her. She does talk like that, she is pretty wonderful herself. What is point to all of this? In spite of the fact some of your family members may be a-holes (like mine), and Christmas is over commercialized and all about money, and most of the people you really loved are no longer on earth, please don't do like like I did for the last 20 plus years and ruin the Spirit of Christmas for everyone around you; tell them you love them (anyway), and make an excuse to go visit as often as you can.

Agreed. My very elderly grandmother and her younger brother will join us for my first Christmas feast in my new home. At almost 95 and 92 it may be their last so I will cherish this holiday and remember how lucky I am to still have them.

 

[unionrdr]

I'm sort of out in the cold there. Both sets of parents & grandparents are gone with family scattered to the four winds. No friends or neighbors over for the holidays either. Kinda reminds me of Mr Magoo's Christmas Carol. " A hand for each hand was planned for the world...why don't my fingers reach? Millions of grains of sand in the world, why such a lonely beach"? Idk? Am I really that bad? I wonder to myself. To old to be cool anymore? Ya gotta wonder sometimes...

 

[Melana]

I'm sort of out in the cold there. Both sets of parents & grandparents are gone with family scattered to the four winds. No friends or neighbors over for the holidays either. Kinda reminds me of Mr Magoo's Christmas Carol. " A hand for each hand was planned for the world...why don't my fingers reach? Millions of grains of sand in the world, why such a lonely beach"? Idk? Am I really that bad? I wonder to myself. To old to be cool anymore? Ya gotta wonder sometimes...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7qOFB4IXA8

Drive out from Ohio, you're welcome to share our holiday.

 

[unionrdr]

Thanks. Car's brakes fubared atm. Gotta freeze fixin' it. Just miss house full of folks enjoying the holiday together.

 

[jamespz03]

Xmas is for kids, it's like a second bday for them. If you accept cash as a gift from an adult, what do you gift in return? More cash. At this point you're all just exchanging money, and will end up where you were to begin with. Xmas is out of control. My sister and I used to go back n forth at each of our bdays, I'd give her $50 at hers, she'd give me $50 at mine. This went on for awhile. It's better just to hang out on holidays watch the kids do their thing. I wouldn't refuse new brewing gear for sure. But when people ask what I want, it's always nothing. If you ask for a thing and you get that thing, just seems weird to me. Getting blindsided with some cool thing you never expected is good times. And it shouldn't just be Christmas this happens. Mandatory gift giving never ends well. Christmas is a sad day for most most people. Trying to teach my kids right, it's tough

Well, that's just like your opinion man.

 

[Devin]

Well, that's just like your opinion man.

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWdd6_ZxX8c[/ame]

 

[GHBWNY]

Merry Christmas, unionrdr. Here's to you! God bless.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Christmas is great. Its several holidays in one. First of all you have presents for you and the loved ones. Hard to dislike that... then you have the food prepared for days and eaten over the span of a month with several leftover reincarnations. Love it.

Then you have competitive mid-meal napping.

Creative chair finding/table situating when that one friend or family member who said they couldnt come but came at the last moment shows.

But my favorite of favorite pre-during-post Christmas activity is "who are these people?" I think there are people out there who like to send a fake Christmas letter to unsuspecting strangers and confuse them. At least once every year I can be heard saying something like "Honey? Who are Bill and Sally Hossenpfeffer? You dont? Aunt Dee's dentist's cousin's krumhorn teacher huh? Is that a thing? Well apparently little Flocko just got in to the "Little Cloggers" clog dancing camp in Arizona. Its apparently pretty prestigious..."

I still have absolutely no idea who Max and Judy Baily (real last name changed) are, and how they knew us by name...

 

[unionrdr]

Well, things just looked up a bit. Got a card from my lil sister with a check for $100! She got married & lives in NM now. Was confused a bit by the name Satisha till I learned it's ancient Hebrew for Patricia. Patruska I would've recognized (Slovak). So at least I have some contact with one of my siblings!