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Based on my old HBT posts, I was some kind of expert after only 13 batches. Yep, "some kind" of expert. Like a dump trumk in a nitroglycerin plant.

Then just think how much you would enjoy them WITH guns and snakes!

I wouldn't try flipping unless I could buy very low in a quickly rising market. That's just me. ...but it's very rewarding to fix up your own place. Okay, now it's all fixed. Then what? You thrash it. Slowly at first, but continually increasing the rate of thrashment until you can't stand it...

Patience. Give it 3 weeks.

Back when I used to take hydrometer readings, I usually returned the sample. Otherwise, the sample seemed wasted, and I dislike wastefulness. I trusted my sanitization, and I was rewarded with 4 oz more finished beer (no infections). Now, I use a few drops on a refractometer. I do NOT return...

Going electric is one good solution. An inexpensive alternative is to buy an extra fire extinguisher and CO detector.

You're right, New Belgium doesn't qualify as "worst" IMO. Their beer appeals to masses who have moved on from light lagers, and that's just dandy. Must. fight. tendency. ...to veer into beer snob territory.

Oooohhhh, this doesn't sound like the usual mindless, boring, getting-to-know-you chit-chat. This sounds like you actually have something to say. Could you expand on the way laws are about cultural entrenchment? I don't really know what that means, but it sounds interesting.

No devil's advocate required. (Curious that you capitalized "devil," though :)) New Belgium is clearly quasi-craft, mediocre, gateway beer. To me, flat tire is awful, but that's probably a style-preference thing. Add some hops, people!

Oh, I'm not worried one bit about hurting Saaz's feelings. We're still talking about hops here, aren't we? If so, I think my limited taste vocabulary will fail me. But just for you, I've checked my records. On Dec 27, 2014 I brewed a Czech Pilsner bittered with Hallertau and flavored with Saaz...

Saaz Maybe I used too much once? Now, I am due to brew a Czech Pilsner (Pilsener?) and don't know what to use.

IPAs are better with some crystal color, residual sweetness, and some malty soul. Semi-fizzy, yellow, bone dry IPAs can be good, but the trend toward no tolerance for crystal in an IPA doesn't make sense to me. I like toffee red IPAs, and you should too. :)

Okay, now I just have to disagree with this. I think my post helped -- in its own subtle way. Well, maybe it didn't help very much, but I tried. Oh, you meant help the OP. No, nothing there. I forgot -- what was the question again?

I bottle.

Well, you don't decant your garbage. Decant = pour the liquid off the top without disturbing the semi-solid stuff on bottom. Anyhow, also keep in mind that someone is selling this yeast because they want to support home brewing while also making a living. (No not me.) So stretch your yeast $...

Whoa there! I'm just a cold hopper. I doesn't know nothin' 'bout yeast and such. I just use a magic wooden stirring stick from batch to batch and just hope the wort turns to beer. Sorry, I don't use dry yeast, so I've never tried to determine grams per tsp. I would just use half a pack by eye...

Use a large hose clamp to pull the trigger, so you can adjust it and keep it constant. Then, count revolutions. 75 revolutions in 15 seconds is 300 rpm. (I realize counting 5 rev each sec is a little challenging, but I believe in you! Note the speed and position of the clamp so you can repeat in...

1. Consider calling this "cold hopping" now. All the cool brewers are saying that (as far as you know). 2. You don't cold hop brown ales, but you should anyway, if you want to. But if you want to, then you should want to achieve a certain flavor/aroma, and you should choose your hops...

I'm not familiar with "thermal stress to the wort." What is this? At sea level, wort boils at about 212 F (I'm told), and it is difficult to get it any hotter than that at atmospheric pressure (either no lid or lid with a large vent). So what causes the thermal stress, and what are the effects?

"Bell hopped?" Typo? Probably meant to say "cold hopped." Be sure to cold hop at the max daily temp and cold crash at the min daily temp. This matches the yeast's expectations and prevents off flavors. There's a future research project to prove it.