Zombie Plan

travestyofnature · May 7, 2009

So, with some of this free time I have here I'm trying to formulate my zombie plan. I know its probably a little late in the game. I'm almost 35 and have kids so I should have come up with a zombie plan a long long time ago. Anyway, I'm doing research and was wondering who else has a zombie plan, what it is, if you will share (I know some people get defensive about sharing their secret plans for when zombies take over the earth). And maybe if anyone has any input as to the best ways to kill zombies and/or defend your loved ones and brews from them.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
ty

Cheeto · May 7, 2009

My secret plan for killing Zombies,

SHHHH

"The View" (yes the TV Show)

To kill a zombie, you must destroy its brain,
and what better way to do that than listening to Starr Jones and Meredith Viera?

huge flat screen TV's in the windows of my house !
-Jason

travestyofnature · May 7, 2009

So is it destroy the brain or totally remove the head. I was always confused about that one. I have always been under the asumption that a bullet to the head, or ax or shovel would do.

Cheeto · May 7, 2009

I feel that you should remove the head,
that is the best way !

travestyofnature · May 7, 2009

That seems like a whole lot of extra effort wasting time and probably precious resources to remove a whole head when a simple killing blow into the brain with a pick-head axe would do just fine.

Why the whole head? I think you're overdoing it.

gratus fermentatio · May 7, 2009

Well, technically, older zombie's brains will likely have shrunk considerably, with some, it might bounce around their skulls like a gumball in a growler... Maybe I'm over thinking this. I'll have to start work on my anti-zombie electromagnetic superconducting particle accelerating discombobulator. :drunk:

EDIT: In the meantime, you can practice with a different discombobulator: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/275479

Cheeto · May 7, 2009

Zombies can only be stopped by destruction of the cerebellum or the brain stem.
What better way to do that then to completely remove the head !

And the shear enjoyment of it !

HenryHill · May 7, 2009

Like most things, even the things of utmost importance, I put it off; until now.

Thanks for the Zombie Plan Advisory, I will be putting all my thoughts towards developing an Emergency Zombie Protocol, for when the need arises.

And F*** the neighbors ;when the time comes, it's me and mine, and I have no room for stragglers and leeches.

travestyofnature · May 7, 2009

Yeah, so its obviously everyone for themselves, thats why I wasn't sure anyone would add info or just hoard their zombie plan ideas for themselves so their wouldn't be any competition. I'm still for an axe tho. Or a sledgehammer. Maybe its just me tho.

HenryHill · May 7, 2009

Zombies don't attack everyone at once, so sharing of tactics and weapons is still completely fair.

It's just that 'oh, they won't attack me' mindset that is most dangerous, and delusional.

Cheeto · May 7, 2009

A sledgehammer?
really ?

Umm not so much!

I agree on the Axe, and maybe a chainsaw, or machete

HBHoss · May 7, 2009

Your safest option is distance. .50 cal BMG as long as you're trained and practiced with it will drop a zombie. Decapitation is the best method but often requires close combat. Risky behavior. Due to ammunition shortages, one shot-one kill is essential. Katanas or machetees work well. Plan your escape routes and get away from dense populations (number of people versus blond Hollywood types

).

travestyofnature · May 7, 2009

So, chatting with the SWMBO in a sidebar about this too. She's led me into two ideas:

A: She says imobilization then extermination which got me thinkin about turning the entire yard around the house into a giant sticky trap. The dispose of at my leisure.

and

B: As a last resort, I'm going to use her as live bait to save the kids and I.

Side note. While the .50BMG is kewl as shi* especially on the Barret platform, I wouldn't really want to do that all day. Thats way too much. .223 reminton with lots of hollowpoint boattails would be the way to go.

Cheeto · May 7, 2009

Being skilled with the M2 .50cal BMG, I don't feel that it would do the job needed.

Yes, if you want to slow the advance of a large group of them this it by far the method of choice, but not for individual kills !

HBHoss · May 7, 2009

travestyofnature said:
So, chatting with the SWMBO in a sidebar about this too. She's led me into two ideas:

A: She says imobilization then extermination which got me thinkin about turning the entire yard around the house into a giant sticky trap. The dispose of at my leisure.

and

B: As a last resort, I'm going to use her as live bait to save the kids and I.

Side note. While the .50BMG is kewl as shi* especially on the Barret platform, I wouldn't really want to do that all day. Thats way too much. .223 reminton with lots of hollowpoint boattails would be the way to go.

It would have to be Barret. Without that howitzer muzzle break it would be major pain. .223 is easy to shoot but doesn't have that downrange destruction you need. Portability also leaves the .50 out but for home base it would be a major booty kicker.
Closer range would be a shotgun.

HBHoss · May 7, 2009

Cheeto said:
Being skilled with the M2 .50cal BMG, I don't feel that it would do the job needed.

Yes, if you want to slow the advance of a large group of them this it by far the method of choice, but not for individual kills !

Although I do believe Carlos Hathcock used one with a scope mounted on it. He did pretty well.

travestyofnature · May 7, 2009

I think you have to think longer term than than. Guns run out of ammo, chainsaws run out of fuel but a good sledhammer just keeps on kicken but+!!

The zombie swarm link was helpfull, great practice and a way to keep those skills sharpened for THE DAY!

Cheeto · May 7, 2009

Hey!!!! hold the phone PAL!!!!

We are all home brewers here !
I can make fuel for a chainsaw!
and if that fails the Hooch I made could be used on the Neighbors so I don't have to throw SWMBO at the zombies !

travestyofnature · May 7, 2009

Cheeto said:
Hey!!!! hold the phone PAL!!!!

We are all home brewers here !
I can make fuel for a chainsaw!
and if that fails the Hooch I made could be used on the Neighbors so I don't have to throw SWMBO at the zombies !

Now thats just plain awesome!

HBHoss · May 7, 2009

travestyofnature said:
I think you have to think longer term than than. Guns run out of ammo, chainsaws run out of fuel but a good sledhammer just keeps on kicken but+!!

The zombie swarm link was helpfull, great practice and a way to keep those skills sharpened for THE DAY!

You would be correct.
Bottom line is weapons that don't require limited resources, a safe escape plan, rations that will last and are transportable. Everything must be easily transported.
Sever the brain stem from as far away as possible.
Stealth, so they don't detect you.

travestyofnature · May 7, 2009

Ok, but are all Zombies created equal? Older zombies, fresher zombies? Is there officail zombie termanology that I'm missing here?

Cheeto · May 7, 2009

I can think of a few different classes of Zombie

Rage zombie they die in two months or sooner avoid at all cost they die similar to humans and they don't eat the living

Slave zombie part of the voodoo curse and are normally not undead but humans on drugs they can be killed like humans. Can also be detoxed back to human, but may be brain damaged (though no longer a zombie).

Demon zombies this are possessed corpse by ghost / demons it is possible that a spell or exorcism may be needed (evil dead 1, 2, 3)

Ghoul Zombie they kill and eat humans slow stupid mindless corpses (George Romero movies) a bullet to the head normally kills them or decapitation maybe afraid of fire, also easy to burn and possible kill with fire

Reanimated Corpse Zombie the body must be completely destroyed or the pieces will keep coming after you (return of the living dead 1, 2, 3 not 4 or 5) use fire, acid or a deep freezer. They can run and some remain human for a short time even if they are a zombie may not kill friends or family. They may also have memories of their former self and possible be able to talk

I could be missing a few but I think this covers most of them

travestyofnature · May 7, 2009

Holy crap thats a lot of good info.

I also found this, looks like the freakin Haitians will be to blamed for the zombie spread -

Dr. Wade Davis has chronicled his studies of Haitian zombies
in "The Serpent and the Rainbow" and "The Passage of Darkness."
Narcisse was the impetus for the Zombie Project -- a study into the origins of zombies conducted in Haiti between 1982 and 1984. During that time, ethnobotanist and anthropologist Dr. Wade Davis traveled through Haiti in the hopes of discovering what causes Haitian zombies.

Next, we'll look at what Davis discovered.

Zombies and Haitian Law
A law that seems to condemn zombie creation went into effect in Haiti in 1835 [ref]. Article 246 of the Haitian Penal Code classifies the administration of a substance that creates a prolonged period of lethargy without causing death as attempted murder. If the substance causes the appearance of death and results in the burial of the victim, the act is classified as murder.

Cheeto · May 7, 2009

Oh I forgot a class of Zombie

Democrat Zombie: liberal nut job that even after failing will not quit( see Nancy Pelosi)

travestyofnature · May 7, 2009

Does Hilary count in that class of zombie too?

DeathBrewer · May 7, 2009

travestyofnature said:
So, with some of this free time I have here I'm trying to formulate my zombie plan. I know its probably a little late in the game. I'm almost 35 and have kids so I should have come up with a zombie plan a long long time ago. Anyway, I'm doing research and was wondering who else has a zombie plan, what it is, if you will share (I know some people get defensive about sharing their secret plans for when zombies take over the earth). And maybe if anyone has any input as to the best ways to kill zombies and/or defend your loved ones and brews from them.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
ty

My Zombie plan: Don't have kids.

DeathBrewer · May 7, 2009

Cheeto said:
Oh I forgot a class of Zombie

Democrat Zombie: liberal nut job that even after failing will not quit( see Nancy Pelosi)

You forgot Rob Zombie, too.

Cheeto · May 7, 2009

Lets get back on topic here, we are trying to figure out the best ways to kill off the zobmies that are attacking you or your family.

Figuring out the types of Zombies in another discussion for later.

Right now lets get back to killing them off.

I still feel that it is imparative that you remove the head !
shooting it or bashing it in is not enough!

Cheeto · May 7, 2009

or for you non-killing what about the senerio at the end of " Shaun of the Dead"
where they are domesticated? is that an option?

travestyofnature · May 7, 2009

Just thinkin here while in Iraq, what about the deliberate use of zombies by the military. Releasing zombies or bombing zombie making juice on target areas? What if thats how it starts? How would that affect your zombie plan?

Zombie Plan

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