You know you're a home brewer when?

[Mutant]

Get get more excited about homebrew gadgets than porn.

Or, when you are happy she filed for divorce as that gives you more square footage for brewing.

 

[Bubbles2]

When you have a 5 gallon bucket half full of Oxyclean solution to soak bottles in your kitchen

 

[Beernik]

When part of the reason you picked the house you are buying is so you can come back to the hobby from a 3.5 year hiatus. My Keggle has been collecting dust in storage too long.

 

[Sadu]

When the day after bottling you start getting things together to brew another batch.

Surely you mean the day before bottling?

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

When your spouse is so used to random equipment laying any and everywhere that she doesn't say anything to you when an empty keg and fermentation bucket show up in the master bathtub, even though 1) it's been months since my last brew session and 2) I offered no explanation as to why they're there in the first place.

They've been there for like 2 weeks now, I kinnda want to keep it there to see how long I can go without hearing about it...

 

[BikerMatt]

^ there's at least one boiling pot and one fermenter constantly residing in our shower room, usually more. I've brewed twice in the last half a year

 

[kebbard]

You notice that Taco Bell mild sauce is made from "yeast extract" and you wonder if you could harvest some and make a starter.

I did this with promite

 

[kebbard]

If you've ever used the seat belt in your car to "buckle up" a carboy.....while saying to the carboy" there ya go little fella, don't want you to get hurt".

Not that I've done this....just sayin

mine went on the floor behind the seat, nice & snug "safe"

 

[BikerMatt]

...you're toasting blocks of wood in a tin foil casserole pan pondering if the heat would be enough to also sanitize them...

 

[kebbard]

That doesn't completely stop the yeast. It just slows them down. When I back sweeten and bottle still, there is noticeable carbonation after a month in the fridge. Those yeast are persistent buggers.

Have to agree with this, i made some moonshine brew (sugar, yeast and water) when it finished i didn't have a carbon filter @ the time, so i stuck it in the freezer for a couple of days thinking that will kill the yeast. left it out to defrost & ready to filter, while i was waiting the buggers started up again.

 

[kebbard]

Forget the neighbors, try dumpster diving behind a bar

I actually considered this

 

[kebbard]

No, the other husbands aren't into brewing, they work on restoring muscle cars

why not do both..

 

[Dland]

You open cellar windows on cold spring nights to keep cellar cold enough for lager fermenting.

 

[matt_m]

UPS, USPS, and 2 different Fedex trucks all deliver equipment on the same day.

 

[bleme]

Hulud said: ↑
Forget the neighbors, try dumpster diving behind a bar
I actually considered this

In the US, most of the bottles at the bars are twist-offs. I got all of my bottles from a sushi restaurant - Sapporo, Kirin Ichiban and Asahi are all pry-offs. I talked to the owner and he would set them out Friday and Saturday after closing for me.

 

[cswant88]

When you have a bad feeling you can’t put your finger on so you go to your keezer, shut off the gas tank and watch the gauges like a hawk...sure enough, you have a leak.

 

[kebbard]

Drove past a place yesterday that had a sign. "We Offer Starter Loans." I thought of going in to borrow a stir plate and an erlenmeyer.

when you know what a stir plate and an erlenmeyer are used for..

 

[Snark_Wolf_Brewing]

You've ever pondered recording the gurgle of CO2 coming from your fermenter's airlock and using it as a ringtone on your phone...

 

[BikerMatt]

No but I have a gif in my phone I made of an airlock going crazy, wanted it as an animated wallpaper but apparently can't...

 

[Soulshine2]

Your drinking problem is that: You can brew more than you can drink.

that ,sir, is a challenge.

 

[kh54s10]

when you know what a stir plate and an erlenmeyer are used for..

Those are for making Meth, right?

 

[seatazzz]

You might be a homebrewer who brews too much, when upon new neighbors moving in a few doors down, the across the street neighbors upon meeting the new ones, point to my house and say "she brews beer, not meth. You'll smell it this weekend." Apparently on a good day you can smell boiling wort three houses down.

 

[kebbard]

You read every damn post on this from start to end, all 7000+ of them.

I can't believe no-one's said that yet.

 

[brewcat]

When your spouse is so used to random equipment laying any and everywhere that she doesn't say anything to you when an empty keg and fermentation bucket show up in the master bathtub, even though 1) it's been months since my last brew session and 2) I offered no explanation as to why they're there in the first place.

They've been there for like 2 weeks now, I kinnda want to keep it there to see how long I can go without hearing about it...

Check post #7201

 

[OG-wan Kenobi]

When you tell your wife’s mother excuse me I have to go drain my bag ....... and no one is offended

 

[Mutant]

When you are at a microbrewer and you want to give them a score sheet

 

[Tobor_8thMan]

You don't waste time or money going to local breweries as your own homemade is always better (and less expensive).

 

[OpenSights]

I don’t know, I enjoy both breweries in town, one is three blocks away. I’m fairly new to craft beer and have been inspired to attempt a few clones. Usually I just have one or two anyway. The one closest to me is a former club member gone pro. I don’t mind contributing to his new career and establishment. Asked him to sell me his B.I.I.P.A for $20. Wouldn’t give it up... so I made my own...

 

[Mutant]

You don't waste time or money going to local breweries as your own homemade is always better (and less expensive).

Work related activities are at local breweries

 

[Tobor_8thMan]

Not attempting to disparage anyone working at a local brewery, just replying to the thread.

 

[willy_mugobeer]

Old dishwasher finally craps out, you buy a new one, and realize excitedly that with careful packing it will sanitize 3.5 cases of bottles instead of just two cases and a shorty six-pack. Yay for the deep top rack!

 

[jonny24]

When you're mixing concrete in a wheelbarrow, and try to work out the grist:liquor ratio as you mash in.

 

[SirHC_]

I put my starters in growlers and buckled into the babies car seat to brew at a buddy's house. Swmbo was less amused by my genius than I would have hoped...

mine went on the floor behind the seat, nice & snug "safe"[/QU

 

[Soulshine2]

UPS, USPS, and 2 different Fedex trucks all deliver equipment on the same day.

we keep amazon and all those 3 delivery services busy all year long.

 

[Soulshine2]

You might be a homebrewer who brews too much, when upon new neighbors moving in a few doors down, the across the street neighbors upon meeting the new ones, point to my house and say "she brews beer, not meth. You'll smell it this weekend." Apparently on a good day you can smell boiling wort three houses down.

My son drove up the driveway last time I brewed and said he could smell it (hops) from the road. we live in the country and the distance from where I brew (inside the pole barn) to the road is a good 250 ft.

 

[BarleyStanding]

When you tell your wife’s mother excuse me I have to go drain my bag ....... and no one is offended

I think I ruptured something laughing..........

 

[willy_mugobeer]

The trees in town are going crazy with yellow pollen, and you wonder to yourself why it can't all be lupulin.

 

[Saunassa]

Your drinking problem is that: You can brew more than you can drink.

And you suddenly have friends who are into home brew. Is it for the taste or the free beer you give them so you can brew something new. Hmm?

 

[Andrew Hodgson]

Your girlfriend is going away for the weekend and instead of kicking back and relaxing you have brewing activities planned for essentially the entire time she is gone.

 

[kh54s10]

Your girlfriend is going away for the weekend and instead of kicking back and relaxing you have brewing activities planned for essentially the entire time she is gone.

And ask her if she is sure that she doesn't want to stay for a few extra days.