Yes! Your beer is ruined!

Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum

Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
MFWINZLOW

MFWINZLOW

Why I oughta...
HBT Supporter
Joined
Oct 15, 2015
Messages
324
Reaction score
94
Location
Central FL
No need for questions nor useless answers - save your time and energy!
Your beer IS ruined - it is BAD..it WILL KILL YOU...get rid of it quickly and safely - save yourself! Your beer is a dangerous killer!

It will explode and lay waste to a 300 yard radius: think handgrenade
It might taste funny - then everyone who drinks it - plus all who have contacted them within 24 hours - will keel over dead.

Just too much risk folks.

I am that kind of selfless guy...here to help you my friends!

Lucky for you, I can dispose of it safely in my uniques disposal process - and save you and your friends and loved ones from certain peril. Brew it - be paranoid that your beer will kill you then ship it to me.
Everyone is safe.
Burp.
It is a service that I provide for YOU!
Cause...I have your back...burp...burrrrrrppppp....
 
Yes. I see those things floating on the top. No they're not yeast rafts! It's some kind of infection! Look at it again...now stare, just a little longer. Take a picture...post a thread. I told you that s*** was bad :)
 
Thank goodness someone is just coming out and saying it. Zika is in fact infecting your beer and if you have sex with your beer then bad things are going to happen. Send your beer to MFWINZLOW....he never has sex

Brew on!
 
My blonde ain't bubblin', herp, derp
Munton's yeast ain't workin' chirp, chirp.
What am I to do with all of this jive?
Pitch a satchel of Fermentis' Safale-05.
 
But as long as your seeing bubbles between 5 seconds and 2 days then all is fine....assuming it's not a saison ... That would need to to be fermented warmer....and by the way what did you mash at? No, not temperature..I mean your ph ....and specifically your ph at room temp...assuming you calibrated your ph meter....but this is all basic stuff. I'm sure you're fine!
 
MFWINZLOW said:
Your beer IS ruined - it is BAD..it WILL KILL YOU...get rid of it quickly and safely - save yourself! Your beer is a dangerous killer!


Lucky for you, I can dispose of it safely in my uniques disposal process - and save you and your friends and loved ones from certain peril. Brew it - be paranoid that your beer will kill you then ship it to me.
Everyone is safe.
Burp.
It is a service that I provide for YOU!
Cause...I have your back...burp...burrrrrrppppp....
Click to expand...

Send me a 1/2 gallon jug and return postage and I can send you some really vile sour beer dreg starters I forgot about for several years and are guaranteed to make you want to puke if you smell them, it would be a really good test for your disposal system. :mug:
 
madscientist451 said:
Send me a 1/2 gallon jug and return postage and I can send you some really vile sour beer dreg starters I forgot about for several years and are guaranteed to make you want to puke if you smell them, it would be a really good test for your disposal system. :mug:
Click to expand...

Oh yeah?
Why I oughta....

So that's the way it's gonna be huh....?

My services are for "newbies"...not for experienced "f***ups"...
Shipping will be extra for you....
Plus tax
Plus other charges... but yeah...we can do.
:eek:
 
MFWINZLOW said:
Oh yeah?
Why I oughta....

So that's the way it's gonna be huh....?

My services are for "newbies"...not for experienced "f***ups"...
Shipping will be extra for you....
Plus tax
Plus other charges... but yeah...we can do.
:eek:
Click to expand...
Well gee, shucks, I guess I'll have to swallow, uh dispose of those mistakes myself..... Oh, wait, I've got 59 gallons of Flanders Red in a barrel in the basement, I'll pour some out and then dump it in! What's the worst that could happen?
If your lucky, in a couple of years, I'll send you some in a white labs tube and you can taste it and maybe puke up all the toxins you've absorbed.
Brew on!!! :mug:
 
Married 39 years this year with so many damn kids I'll be broke till I'm dead. That's why I told her I'll be a good old man when I'm a dead old man....I* soaked, scrubbed, cleaned & sanitized a bunch of hoses in front of my fermenters & boxes of beers. They're now scarred for life, I'm sure. Should I send them too?
 
I need some help. i have only four batches under my Belt and seven grandkids. I am on my second wife and have one batch in secondary, two in bottles and one being bottled tomorrow. No forclosures or bankruptcy but it's not going be over 10 degrees tomorrow with 45 days of winter left. I want to know if I really scorched my extract boil this evening? It tasted burnt when I pulled the sample at the end.
 
I made an american amber ale with Centennial boil and late additions and then dry hopped with Chinook. I followed all the directions and bottled last week. Since I can't tell if my beer is carbonated and am afraid of bottle bombs, should I send them to you for disposal? I mean better safe than sorry right?
 
beerwheel said:
I need some help. i have only four batches under my Belt and seven grandkids. I am on my second wife and have one batch in secondary, two in bottles and one being bottled tomorrow. No forclosures or bankruptcy but it's not going be over 10 degrees tomorrow with 45 days of winter left. I want to know if I really scorched my extract boil this evening? It tasted burnt when I pulled the sample at the end.
Click to expand...

Good news - bad news:
It is not scorched, it is RUINED! RUINED I tell ya'!
If you have to ask...then the answer will be obvious: RUINED.

You need to protect yourself and those around you by shipping it off to the ONLY licensed beer disposal facility located in the good ol U S of A!
ME
Now get to shipping that potentially deadly concotion you call beer...:rockin:
 
And for those of you thinking it will be a good idea to open your own Beer Disposal Facility (BDF)...don't do it! It has taken me over (3) decades of training, education and experience in order to become a certified and licensed BDF. To believe that you could safely offer the life saving services that we do, at M.F'ing. Winzlow BDF, without this experise and background - is asking for disaster.

This public service announcement is from the Certified Beer Disposal Facilities of America. Please dispose of ruined, suspected to be ruined and any beer you have to ask questions about only at a certified and licensed BDF.
Please call BR-549 for details.
 
Hey, I dunno how long you been working at it, but I been working at it for about 35 years now (since before I was legally able to drink!) I am a certified (or maybe just certifiable) alcohol disposal facility. :)
 
Newsman said:
Hey, I dunno how long you been working at it, but I been working at it for about 35 years now (since before I was legally able to drink!) I am a certified (or maybe just certifiable) alcohol disposal facility. :)
Click to expand...
Not possible (but we may award you a certificate based on the Linux reference...stoopid people do not use Linux...usually)

MF Winzlow BDF is the only BDF certified and licensed to license and certify BDFs. We currently have no records for you on file. Should you think that this may be a computer error...please refer to the signature below or call BR-549.


And, as a side note. When I was (16) the legal age in FL was (18).
I looked (19) at that time and was rarly challenged...was a very profitable time in my life. :)

Thank you...
 
MFWINZLOW said:
Not possible.

MF Winzlow BDF is the only BDF certified and licensed to license and certify BDFs. We currently have no records for you on file. Should you think that this may be a computer error...please refer to the signature below or call BR-549.


And, as a side note. When I was (16) the legal age in FL was (18).
I looked (19) at that time and was rarly challenged...was a very profitable time in my life. :)

Thank you...
Click to expand...

Heh... I understand the part about legal age vs apparent age... How do you think I was drinking for about 3 years before I was legally able to. At the time, I didn't know any better and drank plenty of Butt-wiper thinking it was the best thing on earth! :D Just FYI, I'm 51 now... been drinking since I was about 15 or so. :)
 
Newsman said:
Heh... I understand the part about legal age vs apparent age... How do you think I was drinking for about 3 years before I was legally able to. At the time, I didn't know any better and drank plenty of Butt-wiper thinking it was the best thing on earth! :D Just FYI, I'm 51 now... been drinking since I was about 15 or so. :)
Click to expand...

I hear ya (turned 52 last week)...back then Budwiper was $1.99 on sale - $2.29 regular price.. a sixer...Rolling Crock was $1.29 at Winn Dixie...good times! Only problem was that economey of scale was in full effect...making $2 something an hour...building boats...which sadly, we no longer do in this country. Thanks Gubermint!
 

Similar threads

C
SOS from the wonderful Mexican mountains. Back sweetened, keggin and big cuestions
Replies
2
Views
777
Chalkyt
Chalkyt
B
Sparkling Wines & Carbonation
Replies
2
Views
3K
ShellinTX
ShellinTX
mclardass
DC Area Group Grain Buy #26
Replies
8
Views
3K
BrewSavage
BrewSavage
StewMakesBrew
Your best advice for a beginning brewer
Replies
12
Views
1K
mongoose33
mongoose33
rgoldstein91
What Are You Drinking Your Beer Out Of?
Replies
26
Views
3K
glick
glick
CornyKegs 300

Latest posts

Back
Top