Wish Corruption thread

[Baja_Brewer]

I wish I had more free time

Granted. But you're taking care of your mother-in law during your free time.

I wish my homework would do itself.

 

[Ceedubya]

Granted, instead you become Rosemary Clooney.

I wish I had more free time!

Granted, you are fired, your wife leaves you, all your friends ignore you and your vehicles all quit. Now you have lots of free time.

I wish I had a 12" penis

 

[Walker]

I wish my homework would do itself.

Granted. It's all incorrect, but it did itself.

I wish someone would explain the grilled cheese reference to me. I don't understand.

 

[Walker]

I wish I had a 12" penis

Granted. It's made of plastic and takes 2 D-cell batteries. Your wife keeps it in her bedside stand.

I wish the thread would slow down.

 

[Ceedubya]

Granted. It's all incorrect, but it did itself.

I wish someone would explain the grilled cheese reference to me. I don't understand.

Granted, but now that you know you will never get another one in your life.

I wish I got more grilled cheese sandwiches

 

[Walker]

totally unrelated to wish corrupting, but I tried searching for "grilled cheese sandwich" on the web. I found a site that described, it way too great of detail, three different methods for making the complicated delicacy, complete with video to help you master some of the more difficult concepts.

Seriously?

Are people really that stupid?

 

[jacob1484]

Granted, but now that you know you will never get another one in your life.

I wish I got more grilled cheese sandwiches

Granted. You will receive a grilled cheese sandwich every hour on the hour by a fresh out of surgery, herpes ridden, transexual.

I wish I could have a kegerator in my cubicle.

 

[Ceedubya]

Granted. You will receive a grilled cheese sandwich every hour on the hour by a fresh out of surgery, herpes ridden, transexual.

I wish I could have a kegerator in my cubicle.

Granted, you have a kegerator that only has busch light on tap at all times.

I wish I had a new motorcycle.

(@ Walker http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/relationships/blog/2009/06/allergic_to_grilled_cheese.html)

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

totally unrelated to wish corrupting, but I tried searching for "grilled cheese sandwich" on the web. I found a site that described, it way too great of detail, three different methods for making the complicated delicacy, complete with video to help you master some of the more difficult concepts.

Seriously?

Are people really that stupid?

Also OT....You never had Welsh Rarebit, obviously.

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

Granted, you have a kegerator that only has busch light on tap at all times.

I wish I had a new motorcycle.

(@ Walker http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/relationships/blog/2009/06/allergic_to_grilled_cheese.html)

Granted. It's painted pastel pink and can only reach a top speed of 45 MPH.

I wish I had a sandwich.

 

[Chemiker]

I wish I had a sandwich.

Granted, but I found it in the back of my fridge behind the orange juice that expired in June.

I wish for professional level batch to batch consistency.

 

[Ceedubya]

Granted, but I found it in the back of my fridge behind the orange juice that expired in June.

I wish for professional level batch to batch consistency.

Granted, every beer you brew from now on will be professionally consistant..... but they will all taste exactly like Michelob ultra.

I wish I never would have seen this damn thread!

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted, you went blind 5 minutes before discovering it

I wish I was the most attractive person in the world to women.

 

[jacob1484]

Granted, but I found it in the back of my fridge behind the orange juice that expired in June.

I wish for professional level batch to batch consistency.

Granted. But you can only make Pale Ales that taste like grapefruit.

I wish I didn't have a legendary penis.

(sh** this thread moves too fast)

 

[JorgeIsKing]

Granted. But you can only make Pale Ales that taste like grapefruit.

I wish I didn't have a legendary penis.

(sh** this thread moves too fast)

Granted. Nothing changes.

I wish I was rich

 

[Shooter]

Granted. Nothing changes.

I wish I was rich

Granted, your first name is now Rich!

I wish for sunshine!

 

[Ceedubya]

Granted, your first name is now Rich!

I wish for sunshine!

Granted, you will be forced to listen to Jason Mraz sing the sunshine song for 6 months straight.

I wish I was not so damned fat.

 

[jacob1484]

Granted, you will be forced to listen to Jason Mraz sing the sunshine song for 6 months straight.

I wish I was not so damned fat.

Granted. You now have the type of body that every woman longs for. You do not, however, have a penis.

I wish my phone didnt suck.

 

[Shooter]

Granted. You now have the type of body that every woman longs for. You do not, however, have a penis.

I wish my phone didnt suck.

Granted, your phone is now a technological miracle with great reception. I mean it would get great reception in 3rd world sh!thole. Which is good, because that is where you had to move to get this GREAT phone.

I wish I had a burrito!

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

Granted, your phone is now a technological miracle with great reception. I mean it would get great reception in 3rd world sh!thole. Which is good, because that is where you had to move to get this GREAT phone.

I wish I had a burrito!

Granted, but the guy who made it didnt wash his hands after using the bathroom. #2.

I wish I had a bigger garage/brewspace.

 

[Baja_Brewer]

Granted, but the guy who made it didnt wash his hands after using the bathroom. #2.

I wish I had a bigger garage/brewspace.

Granted. You have over 1000 sq ft to brew in... however you can only make Mr. Beer kits.

I wish the beer I just bought was already cold.

 

[Ceedubya]

Granted. You have over 1000 sq ft to brew in... however you can only make Mr. Beer kits.

I wish the beer I just bought was already cold.

Granted, but it got so cold it froze and exploded every bottle and you lost all your now cold beer.

I wish more for my children in life than what I had. (lets see you mess that one up! )

 

[Shooter]

Granted, but it got so cold it froze and exploded every bottle and you lost all your now cold beer.

I wish more for my children in life than what I had. (lets see you mess that one up! )

Granted, your children have more financial debt than you will ever see! For reals!

I wish I had x-ray vision!

 

[Baja_Brewer]

Granted, but it got so cold it froze and exploded every bottle and you lost all your now cold beer.

Thank God that didn't happen!

Granted, your children have more financial debt than you will ever see! For reals!

I wish I had x-ray vision!

Granted. You can see through bathroom stall doors in men's public bathrooms.

I wish I had a buffalo chicken pizza.

 

[Ceedubya]

Granted, your children have more financial debt than you will ever see! For reals!

I wish I had x-ray vision!

good call, good call.....


Granted, but it only works on men.

Thank God that didn't happen!



Granted. You can see through bathroom stall doors in men's public bathrooms.

I wish I had a buffalo chicken pizza.

Granted. but the chicken had a raging case of the bird flu. enjoy

I wish my wife would hurry up and get home to make me the dinner she promised me! I'm starving!

 

[annasdadhockey]

good call, good call.....


Granted, but it only works on men.



Granted. but the chicken had a raging case of the bird flu. enjoy

I wish my wife would hurry up and get home to make me the dinner she promised me! I'm starving!

Granted. She made you a nice bowl of skunk ******* soup.

I wish could predict the future

 

[MBasile]

Granted. She made you a nice bowl of skunk ******* soup.

I wish could predict the future

Granted, but now you know that the Mayans were right.

I wish my Mercedes ran.

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

Granted, but now you know that the Mayans were right.

I wish my Mercedes ran.

Granted, but the rust and oxidation gets worse. And everywhere you park some dude parks his brand new SL65 AMG right next to you.

I wish my cats didnt shed all over my house.

 

[snowveil]

I wish my cats didnt shed all over my house.

Granted. They clean themselves perfectly, and now spit out ten times as many puke-laiden hairballs all over the place.

I wish my vacation would just start already.

 

[gestyr]

I wish my vacation would just start already.

Granted but you are only allowed to vacation within the town limits of Centralia PA

I wish my life was perfect.

 

[shecky]

Granted but you are only allowed to vacation within the town limits of Centralia PA

I wish my life was perfect.

Granted, but it is so perfect nobody wants anything to do with you and you die penniless without friends.

I wish I wasn't in Louisville right now.

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

Granted, but it is so perfect nobody wants anything to do with you and you die penniless without friends.

I wish I wasn't in Louisville right now.

Granted, you're in Detroit.

I wish I had some single malt scotch.

 

[Baja_Brewer]

Granted, you're in Detroit.

I wish I had some single malt scotch.

On the rocks- granted. The ice cubes are made from my pee :cross:

I wish I had a 3DTV

 

[shecky]

On the rocks- granted. The ice cubes are made from my pee :cross:

I wish I had a 3DTV

Granted, but now you have VD to go along with the 3D.

I wish I was younger.

 

[Baja_Brewer]

Granted, but now you have VD to go along with the 3D.

I wish I was younger.

Granted. But you have to do all my homework PERFECTLY, this weekend, or you die instantly.

I wish I could race motorcycles.

 

[shecky]

Granted. But you have to do all my homework PERFECTLY, this weekend, or you die instantly.

I wish I could race motorcycles.

Granted, but you had to run so fast to win that your legs wore down to nubs.

I wish our culture paid no attention to "celebrities."

 

[Baja_Brewer]

Granted, but you had to run so fast to win that your legs wore down to nubs.

I wish our culture paid no attention to "celebrities."

haha. Oh, and agreed... buttttttt

Granted. You're the only person anyone ever pays attention too. And you're locked in a cage.

I wish Friday night television didn't suck so much... come'on its my night off...

 

[Ceedubya]

haha. Oh, and agreed... buttttttt

Granted. You're the only person anyone ever pays attention too. And you're locked in a cage.

I wish Friday night television didn't suck so much... come'on its my night off...

Granted but now your cable is out and you are forced to watch DVD's but your only options are steel magnolias and Kazaam staring Shaquille O'neal.

I wish for a 7 point bull elk this hunting season.

 

[scrambledegg81]

I wish for a 7 point bull elk this hunting season.

Granted, but your hunting buddy will bag an 8-pointer not ten minutes after yours.



I wish my beer was cold.

 

[gestyr]

I wish my beer was cold.

Granted. Your beer has been chilled to absolute zero.

I wish flowers smelled like farts.