Why is recreational sex the first to go

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GilaMinumBeer said:
Ha Ha.

Well, she isn't fat so.......

Uggg, maybe I'm the only one not getting any. :mad:
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You aren't the only one, don't worry. Can't say it never happens around here, but the inconsistency and frequency is alarming.

Been having trouble with our 6 yo lately so my wife says she can't switch away from that anger and frustration to feeling romantic and sexy. OK, fine, I understand that to an extent.

So last night, date night. Went to a concert. She loved it. Happiest I've seen her in some time. She was also lovey-dovey. Of course, this got my hopes up. A little romance, you know. After a 75-minute drive home, during which she mostly slept, I drove the babysitter home only to return to find my wife snoring away like a crazy person.

Before I drove the babysitter home, I said to my wife, "You'll be naked when I return." The scoff she gave me pissed me off. :mad:
 
GilaMinumBeer said:
Ha Ha.

Well, she isn't fat so.......

Uggg, maybe I'm the only one not getting any. :mad:
Click to expand...

shecky said:
You aren't the only one, don't worry. Can't say it never happens around here, but the inconsistency and frequency is alarming.

Been having trouble with our 6 yo lately so my wife says she can't switch away from that anger and frustration to feeling romantic and sexy. OK, fine, I understand that to an extent.

So last night, date night. Went to a concert. She loved it. Happiest I've seen her in some time. She was also lovey-dovey. Of course, this got my hopes up. A little romance, you know. After a 75-minute drive home, during which she mostly slept, I drove the babysitter home only to return to find my wife snoring away like a crazy person.

Before I drove the babysitter home, I said to my wife, "You'll be naked when I return." The scoff she gave me pissed me off. :mad:
Click to expand...

Now wait a minute........

She isn't a medium height, brunette, asian is she? Sounds just like MY wife! :confused:

Granted, we have a 4 month old but, he sleeps most of the time and sits and gurgles the rest. She spends most of the evening in the kitchen with him rinsing dishes and putting them in dishwasher. I spend the evening attending my 3 year old (exhausting), trying to involve him in whatever chores I have to do. Seh bathes the baby. I bathe the toddler. She heats dinner (we haven't "really cooked" since the Toddler was born) and I'll clean up after. Most times vice-versa.

The only household chores we do independently are week end laundry (her) and week end yard work/gardens (Me).

She's asleep by 8:30 and up by 2:00 for a 20 minute bottle feeding, of which the baby is asleep before he finishes the bottle. Me, I am up til 10:00 with the toddler (have tried earlier bed times and he just wakes up earlier the next morning).

Frustrating.
 
Pretty much the way things work around here, but my kids are old enough (6 and 4) that they require little in the way of work and they sleep through the night starting at 8 pm.

I don't have an infant to deal with and still .............. nuttin.
 
shecky said:
I don't have an infant to deal with and still .............. nuttin.
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I hear ya'. I guess what frustrates me most is I see the "infant" bit as a cop-out. She feeds him cereal at 7:00 and gives him a bath at 7:30, like clockwork. The rest of the time he sits in his bouncer or swing and gurgles at her, or I pick him up and carry him while also attending the toddler.
 
shecky said:
You aren't the only one, don't worry. Can't say it never happens around here, but the inconsistency and frequency is alarming.

Been having trouble with our 6 yo lately so my wife says she can't switch away from that anger and frustration to feeling romantic and sexy. OK, fine, I understand that to an extent.

So last night, date night. Went to a concert. She loved it. Happiest I've seen her in some time. She was also lovey-dovey. Of course, this got my hopes up. A little romance, you know. After a 75-minute drive home, during which she mostly slept, I drove the babysitter home only to return to find my wife snoring away like a crazy person.

Before I drove the babysitter home, I said to my wife, "You'll be naked when I return." The scoff she gave me pissed me off. :mad:
Click to expand...


So what's wrong with sleepy sex, either she will wake up and or will just lie there, it's still a win /win for ya!:D

As for me, my swmbo has never turned me away or said not now, my only problem is that she always waits for me to initiate. Sure sometimes its mutual, but I've done some experimenting. If I don't initiate, it could be weeks for her to initiate it. Other than that, its never been an issue for us.

However I have been in relationships where they used it as a tool. I hate dem bitches.
 
GilaMinumBeer said:
Ha Ha.

Well, she isn't fat so.......

Uggg, maybe I'm the only one not getting any. :mad:
Click to expand...

Well you can come hang out at my house, we can sit on the porch and share our lack of sex stories! Bring some homebrew, it's gonna be a sobfest.

You can come to Shecky

Brings the kids, The wives and kids can sit inside and discuss how to keep us from sex and our hobbies.
 
I could be tried as balls and still be up for it. Probably because as soon as I am "done" I could pass out for the night. Unfortunately for SWMBO, after she is "done" it wakes her Wide the F up. So getting it at night never happens cause she can't sleep after ward. I get home at 6, sone is awake and stays so until his 9:30 bedtime. Usually have a beer/TV and off to bed. my only change is Saturday/Sunday afternoons while he's asleep....and who is home without yard work on weekends in the summer!
 
well there you go, beer usually causes swmbos to get tired and sleepy. Cut her off of the beer.
 
shecky said:
You aren't the only one, don't worry. Can't say it never happens around here, but the inconsistency and frequency is alarming.

Been having trouble with our 6 yo lately so my wife says she can't switch away from that anger and frustration to feeling romantic and sexy. OK, fine, I understand that to an extent.

So last night, date night. Went to a concert. She loved it. Happiest I've seen her in some time. She was also lovey-dovey. Of course, this got my hopes up. A little romance, you know. After a 75-minute drive home, during which she mostly slept, I drove the babysitter home only to return to find my wife snoring away like a crazy person.

Before I drove the babysitter home, I said to my wife, "You'll be naked when I return." The scoff she gave me pissed me off. :mad:
Click to expand...

The great thing about being married is that you get to have sex anytime she wants to.

Although frequency is important, the need to feel like she actually still wants to have sex with you and enjoys it is equally important. A scoff like that would sure make me feel like my wife didn't care about me.
 
IrregularPulse said:
I could be tried as balls and still be up for it.
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Same here!

Worst part of all this apparent "being cut off" is, I work public office and frequently the the counter. Which happens to be rather low. We have a a LOT of female Design Professionals (meaning not just Gramma in her night gown) and they are wearing more "summery" outfits. That is to say, the tops are getting lower and lower lately. Even when I am at my desk it is directly across from the counter.

It's almost like they know I am cut off and they lean on the counter JUST TO TORMENT ME!
 
That's more like it. I get quite agitated after several weeks of... nothing. 'Speedy' is my middle name. Or would be if I could get away with it.
 
Just had makeup sex last night. Find a way to get her to screw up somehow. On another note have you talked to her about it. She might just cum around...;)
 
JesseRC said:
Just had makeup sex last night. Find a way to get her to screw up somehow. On another note have you talked to her about it. She might just cum around...;)
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Yeah. We have talked about our altered state libido's. Best I got was "You are in your mid 30's shouldn't you be past your sexual prime already?" to which I responded, "Shouldn't you be starting yours".

After that, and several off topic twists and turns it only got worse. She's always been a little :drunk: the head about the topic given her "conditioning" (nothing tragic mind you) and the act has always been frsutrating for her given the result of "cultural practices" but I have always strived to keep it interesting for her and always made a point to keep her as a focus rather than just a "wiggle and a moan". Not that doesn't happen on a rare occasion.
 
Dude, if you're screwing her makeup, you're doing it wrong. Or you're doing it really, REALLY right!
 
I have a 6 month old, and have only had sex once in the last month b/c her doctor gave her different birth control that she's never taken before, and she's been bleeding almost the entire time. Please don't suggest a towel -- I've tried. She's about to go in and get the UID, so hopefully that will change things.

I will say though that before the bleeding problem, it was a combination of her being tired, not happy with her body, and something about her always saying "when are you going to get a damn job!" (laid off = more homebrewing) :rockin:
 
Trubadour said:
I have a 6 month old, and have only had sex once in the last month b/c her doctor gave her different birth control that she's never taken before, and she's been bleeding almost the entire time. Please don't suggest a towel -- I've tried. She's about to go in and get the UID, so hopefully that will change things.

I will say though that before the bleeding problem, it was a combination of her being tired, not happy with her body, and something about her always saying "when are you going to get a damn job!" (laid off = more homebrewing) :rockin:
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You must be my twin then. We'll have to meet up for a beer sometime, but we'd already know each others' stories.
 
My wife is working on her thesis, getting ready to graduate, and is applying for jobs, you know what that equals. Honestly we've never been rabbits but lately it's been pretty much very infrequent. I love my wife very very much so I can overlook it but I'm with the rest of you, it would be nice to have it more often.
 
farmbrewernw said:
My wife is working on her thesis, getting ready to graduate, and is applying for jobs, you know what that equals. Honestly we've never been rabbits but lately it's been pretty much very infrequent. I love my wife very very much so I can overlook it but I'm with the rest of you, it would be nice to have it more often.
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I'll concede that I have only once gotten it as much as I would like but, once in the last 4 months is a problem. With the first child, he's now 3 years old, there was a stage in her pregnancy where (tho I did not voice it) she wanted it more often than I did. Even then, I didn't pass on the opportunity.

I thought with the last pregnancy I'd get a taste of that again. Nope. I got 3 "visits" in 9 months. After birth, she made me wait 2 months.
 
Trubadour said:
...her doctor gave her different birth control that she's never taken before, and she's been bleeding almost the entire time.
Click to expand...

Ok, this happened to me (I'm the girl), and believe me, WE don't like it either! Nothing makes you feel less desirable than being on the rag for a solid month. I, however, have at least three towels that are specifically designated for this sort of purpose, keep trying that line of thought and good luck. :mug:

And I have a few words of encouragement/advice for anyone's who's hard-up (excuse the pun) right now. Text your lady something naughty or tell her you took care of yourself while thinking about her or watching some racy video you guys made. That always gets me going, especially if he tells me in the middle of the day. I'm ready to go by the time I get home. I know this is tougher for those of you with kids. :(
 
jmulligan said:
Ouch. :(:(
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Didn't really happen but, all to often I get the "if you want it that bad we have a computer" bit.

In my defense, I don't even go to "those" places often.

And she'd NEVER concede to being photographed like that. Not even stills. She's no prude but is terrified that a file/video saved could end up in some boneyard or worse. We've been robbed once a long time ago and lost some toys which devastated her, we've been hacked once and lost some personal financial info so she'd never attempt to even risk that kind of thing.

I want my pre-marital neo-nympho back, that is all.:(

btw, nice to finally see a female perspective join the gripe session.
 
GilaMinumBeer said:
after having children?

I mean honestly, it takes what 30 minutes to an hour out of ones "busy" life.

I do recognize that timing is a factor but, all too often I hear couples complain that they have no time for each other and that sex is minimal to gone.

And yet, these same people see something walk by and they are the first to dang near spooge themselves. Apparently, the desire is still there so, why is the time "given up"?

Before marriage, rabbits have a hard time keeping up. After marriage, there are still some places you haven't played in. Post children, even porcupines seem to have sex more often than do married couples.

Ohh, and I ask this on behalf of one of my "friends" issues. Ummm, really.


Seriously.
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I thought recreational sex is what you had before you got married and had kids.
 
Wait, so she has been that way before, well then I think there's hope. How about watching something dirty. Not like full blown porno, but something. I still think talking about it in a non argumentative way should help. Maybe in a neutral setting. Someplace where she doesnt think your gonna jump her bones right away. You're just expressing your needs, I would think if she had some need, she'd want you to listen to her.
 
jmulligan said:
I, however, have at least three towels that are specifically designated for this sort of purpose, keep trying that line of thought and good luck. :mug:
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:mug:

Soperbrew said:
You must be my twin then. We'll have to meet up for a beer sometime, but we'd already know each others' stories.
Click to expand...

Let me know if you're ever in town. I like beer :mug:
 
JesseRC said:
Wait, so she has been that way before, well then I think there's hope.
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Yeah. She was neo-nympho 11 years ago. We "dated" for little more than a year prior. It was 8 years after marriage before the first was born.

And there are still some places in the house we haven't tried......

Depressing! I need a beer.
 
We were together 5 years before getting married. The first 2 were FILLED with sex, And it was good Do Everything Everywhere with Everything sex, now it's monthly at best, and almost routine. I try so hard to switch it up and try new things and try and do things "for" her and it's like she's reverted to a 12 year old..."eeww don't do that". For F's sake woman Grow up and let's be wild like we used to. This all happened before any kids were even thought about.
 
Wife and I had a "Cum to Geezus" sort of discussion about all this over the weekend. additionally, I had taken Friday off and managed to get very single one of her weekend chores done before she got home. that left her with nothing to do but play with the toddler thus she realized just how exhausting the simple act of keeping up with him can be and she admitted that doing that is much more of a workout than the house work (which can be done at a much slower pace).

Maybe the discussion coupled with her newfound enlightenment will mean something in the cumming days and months. I don;t expect rabbits but she knows I want more than an annual tune-up.
 

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