What Murphy did to my beer is illegal in most U.S. States

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uatuba

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Today was a Murphy's Law kind of day. I won't go into my internet connection crapping the bed or the issues I've had with my swimming pool equipment since this is a home brewing site.

I've been unable to brew for a couple months and my last keg kicked over a week ago, so I was bound and determined to brew today. I don't usually use adjuncts, nor do I brew light lagers, but I only had two ounces of Fuggles and some 2-row and Carapils so I decided to go the light lager route. No flaked corn, but I just bought an air popper for popcorn, so why not use that?

I had my wife pop the popcorn for me while I got my water and equipment ready. I told her to mash it up a bit so it would fit in my mash tun. Unfortunately, she popped it into the bucket that had my grain (completely overlooking the empty bucket I had for her) and "helpfully" mashed it up, mixing it with the grain.

Note: A Barley Crusher WILL NOT crush popped popcorn (or unpopped popcorn for that matter). Yes I tried. Since nothing was happening, I decided to give the material in the hopper a helpful push with my mash paddle. I now have a curved, permanently imprinted plastic mash paddle due to it being caught by the Barley Crusher and being stuck in such a way that required me to disassemble the damn thing.

I finally got the grain crushed and hit all of my temps spot on. My immersion wort chiller is leaking like a sieve at the connections so I can only submerge about three coils of it. As of now, I'm still waiting on the wort temperature to drop to 100 so I can put it in my ferm chamber and let it do the rest of the work.

True to form, this will probably be one of the best beers I've ever made.
 
I won't rule any of those out. My prediction that this will probably be one of the best beers I've made still holds true.
 
I have learned to never ask anyone in my house to do something for a brew session as the task invariably gets botched. Not intentionally mind you, but no one has the ability but me to get the job done to my specs. Maybe I'm a control freak but when it comes to my beer I believe that's a good thing!

Generally I'm not anal retentive with any other aspect of my life.
 
Bent Paddle Popcorn Lager. Sounds.... delicious?

Now you just need your lagering fridge to crap out so it becomes a steam beer.

Then an infection to make it a sour :)

Funny. Bent Paddle is brewery in Duluth, MN. They may have something to say about that name ;)
 
That was very nice of your wife to try to help out. My hat is off to her. My wife helps by leaving me alone. She has no interest in my hobby.



It sounds like maybe your wife does have an interest. Maybe try feeding that interest. You could end up with a great brew partner! One that can make you sammiches too!!!
 
You only think it was an accident...

When I first got married, my wife asked me to do some laundry. I gathered every colorful dress she had, set the washer to its hottest setting, and added several cups of bleach. 15 years later, I have never been asked to help again. Sounds you wife just made an investment in getting out of helping again. Kudos to her.
 
You only think it was an accident...



When I first got married, my wife asked me to do some laundry. I gathered every colorful dress she had, set the washer to its hottest setting, and added several cups of bleach. 15 years later, I have never been asked to help again. Sounds you wife just made an investment in getting out of helping again. Kudos to her.


Dang it I did it wrong. I taught her how to do it... Still get to lend a hand.
 
You only think it was an accident...

When I first got married, my wife asked me to do some laundry. I gathered every colorful dress she had, set the washer to its hottest setting, and added several cups of bleach. 15 years later, I have never been asked to help again. Sounds you wife just made an investment in getting out of helping again. Kudos to her.

Her: Did you do the laundry like I asked?
Me: Uh... yeah! And I got it all to fit in this little cup, too!

Make $3000 worth of Barbie clothes, and never have to do laundry again.
 
Seriously, this mash paddle actually works better now. I would post a picture but I may start selling them so I don't want you guys replicating it until they catch on. [emoji41]

Also, I didn't mention that I broke my hydrometer and the cap to my StarSan. I thought I did but I must have blocked it out.
 
Seriously, this mash paddle actually works better now. I would post a picture but I may start selling them so I don't want you guys replicating it until they catch on. [emoji41]

Also, I didn't mention that I broke my hydrometer and the cap to my StarSan. I thought I did but I must have blocked it out.


The star San cap is easy...water/soda bottle lid. You're welcome. The hydrometer is a knock on wood situation. There's a thread here for that.
 
Yes, I've posted in it. Had never broken one in 9 years and in one year I've broken 3.
 
Today was a Murphy's Law kind of day. I won't go into my internet connection crapping the bed or the issues I've had with my swimming pool equipment since this is a home brewing site.

I've been unable to brew for a couple months and my last keg kicked over a week ago, so I was bound and determined to brew today. I don't usually use adjuncts, nor do I brew light lagers, but I only had two ounces of Fuggles and some 2-row and Carapils so I decided to go the light lager route. No flaked corn, but I just bought an air popper for popcorn, so why not use that?

I had my wife pop the popcorn for me while I got my water and equipment ready. I told her to mash it up a bit so it would fit in my mash tun. Unfortunately, she popped it into the bucket that had my grain (completely overlooking the empty bucket I had for her) and "helpfully" mashed it up, mixing it with the grain.

Note: A Barley Crusher WILL NOT crush popped popcorn (or unpopped popcorn for that matter). Yes I tried. Since nothing was happening, I decided to give the material in the hopper a helpful push with my mash paddle. I now have a curved, permanently imprinted plastic mash paddle due to it being caught by the Barley Crusher and being stuck in such a way that required me to disassemble the damn thing.

I finally got the grain crushed and hit all of my temps spot on. My immersion wort chiller is leaking like a sieve at the connections so I can only submerge about three coils of it. As of now, I'm still waiting on the wort temperature to drop to 100 so I can put it in my ferm chamber and let it do the rest of the work.

True to form, this will probably be one of the best beers I've ever made.

Why did you crap the bed?
 
I always feel sorry for the nightmare Brewday folks. I brew beer. I forget things. I end up with beer. I love brewing, I love beer.
 
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