Things about your co-workers that annoy you

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We have a collections dept that services the collection system. Some of these lines are in fields, bottom lands, rivers and generally mucky areas. There are alligators up here. They sent a new guy to our control room to check out the shotgun from the security vault. There is no shotgun. They didn't tell us they were sending him, either. Without missing a beat, I sent him to the warehouse, since that's where we keep it now.
 
And now it's dildos. Today, the Op running process went to the field lab, opened a drawer, and found a large, floppy dildo.

Now, had I found it, I'd have quietly moved it to another surprise location. Not this guy. He took pictures of it and sent them to the dept boss, who thought it was funny, but comes to me to go retrive it. Umm. No. And even if I do, it's not making it back here. It's disappearing and I never saw it. Ain't nobody got time for that HR **** show.

A minute later, the boss's boss is on the phone. Great. They go down to the lab, but the dildo done gone. Either he threw it away or it's going to pop up somewhere else. My money is on it being skewered and flying from a truck antenna.
 
Zuljin said:
And now it's dildos. Today, the Op running process went to the field lab, opened a drawer, and found a large, floppy dildo.
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Got that one beat! I wasn't directly involved, but I DID laugh my ass off at the end results. Several of my coworkers decided to pull a devious joke on another coworker who is a real horse's ass. They went to an adult bookstore and acquired an inflatable sex doll, to which they attached a label saying "IF FOUND PLEASE RETURN TO..." and listed the horse's ass coworker's phone number and home address with the offer of a cash reward. Now, that in itself is devious enough, but it gets better. They filled the doll with helium and somehow managed to pick the lock on the trunk of his car. Long story short, he goes out to his car on break to get something from his trunk and the helium filled sex doll goes flying into the wild blue yonder. Few weeks later, he started getting all sorts of interesting phone calls from halfway across the country. :D
 
Rhumbline said:
100 feet of flight line
A bucket of prop wash
Relative bearing grease
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Dressed up in full battle rattle out on the deck looking for...
A Bee one R Dee (B1RD) or
A GU eleven (GU11) or
the ever popular Mail Bouy watch (How else does a ship at sea get mail?? Predating email...)
Scouring the ship looking for:
50' of chow line
Batteries for the sound powered phone
A "BT" punch
 
petey_c said:
Dressed up in full battle rattle out on the deck looking for...
A Bee one R Dee (B1RD) or
A GU eleven (GU11) or
the ever popular Mail Bouy watch (How else does a ship at sea get mail?? Predating email...)
Scouring the ship looking for:
50' of chow line
Batteries for the sound powered phone
A "BT" punch
Click to expand...

part of our underway duties as Sonar Techs was to drop XBTs (eXpendable BathyThermographs), weighted thermometers trailing 1500 feet of thin wires which send depth vs temp information to a plotter in Sonar Control. once the wire runs its length, it breaks and the XBT probe sinks, hence the 'expendable' part of the name.

since Control was forward, behind CiC and the BT launcher was aft, it usually fell to the junior watchstander to make the drop. if it was his first time, his instructions included "it is absolutely critical to retrieve the probe once it is done"

hilarious
 
Quite a few years ago our division at a manufacturing company was planning a conversion to the metric system. I sent an new hire engineer to our Engineering Library to find a metric trigonometry table. All was fine until a couple of engineering supervisors realized that we didn't have one in the library and called some of our vendors to purchase one. Graduate engineers with advanced degrees no less.
 
ChuckO said:
Quite a few years ago our division at a manufacturing company was planning a conversion to the metric system. I sent an new hire engineer to our Engineering Library to find a metric trigonometry table. All was fine until a couple of engineering supervisors realized that we didn't have one in the library and called some of our vendors to purchase one. Graduate engineers with advanced degrees no less.
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I'm going to assume, as a non-engineer, that a metric trigonometry table doesn't exist?
 
CGVT said:
Send them to find a fallopian tube.
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I was in the Navy and there was a guy in my division who was from Taiwan. One time some of the other guys told him to go ask one of the females in our division (FC2 Tynes) for the fallopian tubes. He runs around the ship looking for her and runs into her in the hangar bay (aircraft carrier) and yells across to her "Tynes, I need your fallopian tubes!"
 
Another supervisor comes downstairs to report a complaint from the public pertaining to the kind of stuff I used to work on. I tell him I don't do that anymore (got promoted 2-1/2 months ago), talk to X about it. He goes on to lecture me about why did we have to do things that way. I tell him that yes, we usually try to avoid handling work orders that way, but sometimes we don't have any choice in the matter, and sometimes the work has to be done in less-than-ideal conditions. He continues to gripe about why it can't be changed, so I remind him (as politely as I can) that THAT'S NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY ANYMORE, I DIDN'T DO IT.

[On top of that, all the relevant people were out of the office today, so he walked up to an empty office. I at least warned them first.]
 
I work with several rather lazy techs, we have a tablet that is the manufacturers diagnostic scan tool for the car line I work on, every time I need the tool it's not charged enough to reflash the ecu, or it was left on and it has locked for security reasons...

So I recently took a screen capture of the home screen, and set it as the screen lock page. They grab the tablet and it turns on, looks like the home screen but does nothing (since it's just a picture)
 
Had a guy from africa working with us one summer. Strange dude who would quote whole speeches by Winston Churchill. Guys I work with told him to ask the ladies in the break room what it meant to "spank your monkey". Priceless
 
Gameface said:
I was in the Navy and there was a guy in my division who was from Taiwan. One time some of the other guys told him to go ask one of the females in our division (FC2 Tynes) for the fallopian tubes. He runs around the ship looking for her and runs into her in the hangar bay (aircraft carrier) and yells across to her "Tynes, I need your fallopian tubes!"
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When I was in the Army, we'd send the NG's to the motorpool for a box grid squares (non-existant) or to the mess hall for "cherry juice" (hydraulic fluid). A buddy who was in the Air Force was once sent to the hangar for a bucket of prop wash.
Regards, GF.
 
I love how this thread evolved from the "things about your coworkers that annoy" to the "things we do/did to our coworkers to annoy" thread.

Nerf guns. nuff said.
 
Things coworkers do to annoy me:

Quit - now I have to hire some new people, and HR isn't giving me the go-ahead. Now i'm down to three staff (including myself), and that's not enough to offload a plane and keep it on schedule.

Get sick - of the two people working for me, one flew away on medical leave (pre-op heart surgery testing), and the other one is going to fly away on medical next week. I'll be alone. Expect massive delays and nobody's making their connections now!
 
They bring an adorable tiny puppy and I have to spend the day going "Who's a good dog? Yes it's you. Yes it is! Oh stop giving me kisses.".

It's going to be a rough one.
 
My super annoying coworker came in and brought me a piece of cake because it is the 1 year anniversary of his mothers passing. This is super annoying because he is trying to be nice! WTF!
 
dkwolf said:
Wait.... he brought cake because his mom died a year ago? Does that seem odd to anyone else???
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First. He is a 60ish Americanized Brit that lives alone and has no friends.
Second. His 'mum' was 93 and still lived across the pond
third. He is celebrating her life
fourth. I am the only one that got the cake.

weird.
 
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I just had this conversation:

Him-How do I go about getting 205 painted above my door?
Me-You mean the outside door?
Him-Yes, when we got our new glass door they didn’t paint 205 above the door.
Me-but didn’t we letter the door to say Housing?
Him-YES!, but it doesn’t say 205. The door on one side of us says 204, and on the other side says 206, ours needs to say 205! How do I get that painted?
Me-you can put in a work order with Facilities… But does anyone actually come looking for door #205, and not the Housing office?
Him-IT NEEDS TO SAY 205! SOMEONE WAS CONFUSED!!
Me-You can submit a work order to Facilities.

So, I picture someone looking for the Housing Office, being shown where it is on a map and told that it is door 205, going to that location and seeing 204 on one side, a door marked Housing Services, and then on the other side a door marked 206 and walking away confused because although it says Housing, it didn’t have the 205 above the door.
 
I share an office with a know it all engineer who never shuts up, hijacks every conversation in his vicinity, involves himself in conversations that don't involve him and is on a perpetual mission to tell people that they're wrong, which invariably leads to him telling all about something completely unrelated.
He's a sharp kid, don't get me wrong, but it seems to me that he's lacking self confidence and so is ever attempting to prove how smart he is.
He can be (is) hugely annoying, but I do consider him a friend and he is often a great resource
 
Boss doesn't talk to me all week.
130pm on Friday, drops four hot projects on my desk.

Grumble.
There goes an hour.
 

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