The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

Brewer's Friend 728
Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum

Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
I'm working out on the Island at the homeless shelter today. On the way in I decided to celebrate Opening Day so I stopped at a Walmart and bought a hotplate and a stockpot, 8 packs of dogs and rolls and mustard. Once I got the dogs cooked up I announced on the loudspeakers that in hoor of Opening Day we were conducting a blood pressure clininc and anyone who came and got their blood presure checked would get a hot dog. I damn near started a stampede. I got 58 people to come down to get their pressure checked. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself until I looked on my desktop and there were 58 charts there.
"Biance, why are all these charts on my desktop?"
"Because you have to document on all of them."
"No, all we did was check their blood pressure."
"Right, and now YOU have to document it."
"****"
 
Out of curiosity, was the blood pressure taken before or after the hot dogs?
And in interest of science, you should have taken it before AND after, just to see what the 'dogs do the the pressure.
 
bluemoose said:
Does anyone else picture Paul with steam coming out of his ears whenever he reads this thread?
Click to expand...

Kind of like this?

35404__safe_pinkie-pie_animated_angry_mmmystery-on-the-friendship-express_.gif
 
I crack up every time I read this thread so I figured I'd pop in. I lived in MA most of my life until I got married and moved to CT. Of course I live only 5 min from the MA border ;). I still can't figure out this state even though I have been living here for almost 17 yrs. Everybody around here, especially this time of year, asks me, "Don't you think it's great that UConn is doing so well?" My response is always, "I grew up in a State that had real sports teams so I don't need to watch college basketball! Especially Women's college basketball!" Can you actually call yourself a State if you don't have a professional sports team? OK so they did have the Whalers but as we all know the Bruins always kicked their ass. Then they lost their team because no one went to the games, except Bruins fans when they played the Bruins. I guess technically since CT is in New England that the Pats may in some way shape or form be a team, but probably not.

Anyway, now back to our regularly scheduled programming...
 
DirtyDawg10 said:
I crack up every time I read this thread so I figured I'd pop in. I lived in MA most of my life until I got married and moved to CT. Of course I live only 5 min from the MA border ;). I still can't figure out this state even though I have been living here for almost 17 yrs. Everybody around here, especially this time of year, asks me, "Don't you think it's great that UConn is doing so well?" My response is always, "I grew up in a State that had real sports teams so I don't need to watch college basketball! Especially Women's college basketball!" Can you actually call yourself a State if you don't have a professional sports team? OK so they did have the Whalers but as we all know the Bruins always kicked their ass. Then they lost their team because no one went to the games, except Bruins fans when they played the Bruins. I guess technically since CT is in New England that the Pats may in some way shape or form be a team, but probably not.

Anyway, now back to our regularly scheduled programming...
Click to expand...

Hi there! nice to see a new face!
 
You've got to earn your stripes rookie, then maybe we'll read your missives.

Oh btw. Rookie was used as a term of semi-endearment, sort of a "Welcome to the team, N00b". Not as a "You're a screaming pain in the nut sack and we all wish you would develop ALS."

If you don't get the reference consider yourself lucky.
 
Lol...I love this thread. Don't worry, I'll make my posts short so you can keep up.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew
 
DirtyDawg10 said:
Lol...I love this thread. Don't worry, I'll make my posts short so you can keep up.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew
Click to expand...


Ok Dawg , you want to play? Tell us about yourself. And make it interesting. No one honestly gives two sh!ts that you went to a small liberal arts college in VT, majored in anthropology, have two kids, Aiden and Isabella and that you were this close to making it onto Jeopardy but you didn't know the capital of Peru.

No. We want the good stuff. Bank account balances, brokerage statements, etc. We want to see those naked pictures of your wife. You know, the ones she had you take that time in Tijuana when she drank the tequila. We want to see your naked pictures of Yeager's wife. And don't be all "Yeager's wife? I don't even know who Yeager's wife is!" It's ok. We ALL have pictures of Yeager's wife after she drinks the Blueberry Smurf Juice. And none of us actually want to see her naked again (God forbid) we just need to see if you qualify to hang with us.

Oh btw. The capital of Peru is Lima. What are you, stupid?
 
PTN...it was all there. I had great stories, pictures of Tom Brady's wife naked, everything was there and more. Guess you used that Ignore feature and ended up missing it. Live and learn I guess.
 
InkBird 300

Latest posts

Back
Top