The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[Melana]

I'm headed back to the tundra tomorrow

 

[paulthenurse]

It's only been in the 70 ' s in the mornings down in Ft. Lauderdale but Thank god it warms up to the 80 ' by 10. I had to wear a sweatshirt yesterday before it finally warmed up. Headed back up to Boston today. I'm sure my wife will have my truck all cleaned off and preheated by the time I get home.

I tried to help you out with that. I copied your post and sent it to Pat as a text message.

I'm sure she'll have everything all set for you when you get home.

 

[paulthenurse]

Best prank evah...

Two of my friends from work were going to Florida on vacation this morning. They worked overnight and had colleagues come in early so they could get their 6 am flight. I worked OT till 11 last night and as I'm leaving I spy their bags in a corner of the break room. So I loaded up the bags with liter bags of normal saline, hoping for a Eiger Sanction moment.

Got one even better. They got stopped by TSA And got the full Monty treatment.

Priceless.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Was this Rookie?

 

[paulthenurse]

I've promised myself to never waste another minute of my time even thinking about he who shall not be named.

But if I could have arranged that I might have to rethink that resolution.

 

[yeager1977]

What about the gummy bears


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[Melana]

Never thought I'd be this happy to return to the tundra. Good to be home!

 

[paulthenurse]

My natural inclination would be to write 'No one cares.' But you're you. That would be like kicking the puppy.

Dammit.

 

[Bulls Beers]

My natural inclination would be to write 'No one cares.' But you're you. That would be like kicking the puppy.

Dammit.

Paul, you are too nice..

 

[Melana]

Paul, you are too nice..

Since when?

 

[paulthenurse]

Since pretty much always. I mean, really, who IS the object of my scorn?

He who shall not be named. That's pretty much it.

And Cape. Of course Cape.

Yeager. Yeager just goes without saying. And the_bird. Well duh.

I suppose you could throw in Mort. And BlueBalls. And Homebeer... Dude... Tripper... Bulls...

Oh ya, the Flatulent Fowl.

But with those few exceptions I'm nice to everyone.

Really.

 

[bob1852]

What about me?

 

[bluemoose]

You are an azhole.

 

[paulthenurse]

What he^^^^^ said.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Paul, I haven't drunk dialed anyone in a long time. I think it's about time a get back to it.




Sent via my computer, because the carrier pigeons are too damn lazy.

 

[paulthenurse]

That was alway a joy, you incoherent on the phone at 3:00 am.


I always felt so lucky to be the one you turned to in your hours of need. Fortunately I've worked in an ER for ages and I'm fluent in the Dipsh!t dialect of Sh!tfaced.

 

[DakotaRules]

Just glad rick doesn't have my number!


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[day_trippr]

Honored just to be mentioned in a Masshole rant.

Wait....Is that wrong?
It feels kinda wrong...

Cheers!

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Mike! I'll add you to the call list! I do have your number.

 

[paulthenurse]

Oh ya. It's wrong on a ton of different levels.

 

[paulthenurse]

I have his number, I'll forward it to ya. You can both thank me later.

 

[paulthenurse]

Why is it that every time I go to drop a deuce at work someone calls me on the phone, or someone knocks on the door, or I am otherwise dumpus interuptus? Every time. WTF?@

 

[Melana]

I guess you're just lucky Paul!

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

I've heard the ER stories. I'm sure you've had to extract many a phone call from worse places.

 

[paulthenurse]

Unfortunately you are correct.

 

[paulthenurse]

So the_bird and I are going deep sea cod fishing a week from today, leaving out of Wakefield RI at 5AM, returning around 12 hours later. The boat (not LSU) is headed out to the winter grounds south of Block Island. They've been hitting the winter cod pretty hard down there, 40 pound fish are reportedly not uncommon. $100/head. Anyone have an abundance of sick days hanging around and want to join us?

 

[the_bird]

It's not even a sick day in these parts; it's Presidents' Day, so I'm off regardless. Cashing in my "doing something stupid and fun" chip (part of it, at least) for doing two and a half weeks of solo parenting while the_Wife gallivanted around Europe last spring.

 

[bob1852]

The_wife goes to Europe for weeks and you get to go fishing with PTN for a day?

 

[the_bird]

It's a partial repayment. I've still got about seventeen days' credit left.

 

[paulthenurse]

You make it sound like he's getting a raw deal.

 

[Cape Brewing]

No... reality is making it sound that way


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[paulthenurse]

One mans raw deal is another mans happy marriage. Don't be so negative just because you're chained to The Bog and can't come with us.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Yeah... Working on building out our bar, while sampling the six taps that are pouring... Vs freezing my azz off out in the Atlantic hooking bait with 200 other people with lines dropped over the side?? Hmmmmmm. Whhhat... To... Do??


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[paulthenurse]

Exactly!


You f'ing Nancy!


"Ohhhhh... But Paul, it will be cold! I'm afraid I might get chapped lips, Yeager always complains about sphincter irritation when my lips are chapped."

Nancy!

 

[Melana]

Paul I'd start to worry if Jay shows up with a length of heavy chain and some cement blocks...

 

[Cape Brewing]

Exactly!


You f'ing Nancy!


"Ohhhhh... But Paul, it will be cold! I'm afraid I might get chapped lips, Yeager always complains about sphincter irritation when my lips are chapped."

Nancy!

Yeah... You nailed it.



Ordering the flooring today for the new Bog taproom. Whoo hoooo!

I'm thinking perhaps something like an "antique pine".

Floor should be going in early next week and then the bar gets roughed out as soon as the floor is down.


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[Melana]

Ordering the flooring today for the new Bog taproom. Whoo hoooo!

I'm thinking perhaps something like an "antique pine".

Floor should be going in early next week and then the bar gets roughed out as soon as the floor is down.

That is so cool. GO BOG!

 

[Cape Brewing]

Thanks. All this work had better effin lead to a dramatic uptick in yoga pants


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[bluemoose]

Do you really want Paul showing up in yoga pants?
(shutter)

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

Do you really want Paul showing up in yoga pants?
(shutter)

i just threw up in my mouth