The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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My shed grew a shed!

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Cape Brewing said:
12 lbs of beef brisket just went into the brine.

BOOM
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Do you use a full brisket? Not just the flat? Can you share the brine recipe? I am picking up my brisket tomorrow......
 
I am grabbing a beer with an old co-worker tonight and if I remember it, I'll post it. I know the recipe calls for pink salt (I am pretty positive instacure #1) so you would need to make sure you have that to start.

Also got two bellies curing for bacon and a third for pancetta.
 
Cape Brewing said:
I am grabbing a beer with an old co-worker tonight and if I remember it, I'll post it. I know the recipe calls for pink salt (I am pretty positive instacure #1) so you would need to make sure you have that to start.

Also got two bellies curing for bacon and a third for pancetta.
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Do you have a place to get pink salt? Tat stuff is difficult to find. Got some from a butcher some time ago, but looking for some more. Any suggestions?
 
You only need the pink salts if you are curing for a longer term. For something like a corned beef or a pastrami or sausage that you are making now and intend in eating in the immediate future you don't need it. Your corned beef will be grey instead of pink so if you've only had stuff that was brined in a factory and bought from a grocery chain it might take a bit of getting used to. The grey is better, IMHO, that's what I grew up with so I prefer it, the pink stuff frightens me. Either way. Brining your own will give you a MUCH better meal for Paddy's Day. Do yourself a favor, get two and rub the second one down liberally with coarse cracked black pepper and cracked coriander seeds, then smoke it at 225 for 10-12 hours. That will be the best pastrami you've ever had. I don't use the pink salt with pastrami's either cause they don't last long enough to go bad! Enjoy.
 
It does bear repeating that brining/curing meat for long term storage is a good way to give yourself a whopping case of the Hersey Squirts at best, and a date with the local undertaker if you really screw the pooch. Buy a book, read up online, talk to someone who knows, go to your local Agi Extension, etc and know what you are doing before you start.

Meat's not beer, it can grow **** that will kill you if not done right. Anything that will be around longer than a week or so needs a cure. (Or you'll need a cure!)
 
There are two different kinds of pink salt... Lets just call them #1 and #2 because that is what instacure, the main supplier of them calls them. #1 is for any "cooked" cured meats. It is for things like bacon, corned beef, etc. #2 is for "dry-aged" cured meats that may never be cooked (pancetta, prosciutto, pepperoni, etc). Both have the primary purpose of preventing botchelism... Or... food poisoning that can kill you.

Techically, Paul is right... You don't NEED pink salt for corned beef. The recipe I have says to only brine the beef for five days and given the salt levels of the brine, there probably isn't a real risk there. That said, I brine my for more like 8-10 days and for that... I dunno... I am going with the whole not-dying method... and using pink salt.

Again.. "People have been doing it for hundreds of years!!" Yeah, and the life expectancy a hundred years ago was 41 soooo....

Think of it this way... "Am I willing to risk my life and lives of everyone eating my meal based on the online Internet advice of PaulTheNurse?"

Yeah... I though so. All of a sudden that $11 and two days shipping doesn't seem so bad does it?
 
For giggles, I searched for "pink salt" on Amazon, and the first result was a one-pound bag of "D.Q. Curing Salts." I loved the review of the product:

24 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Works
November 13, 2012
By Ray Shaw

Ordered this to make the Good Eats recipe for corned beef. Corned beef resulted. 6 more words are apparently required.
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Just read this on wikipedia to try and learn a little more about the salts.

Curing salt blends
Two main types of curing salt mixture are used by the charcutier. The first is known by multiple names, including "tinted cure mix", "pink cure", "prague powder", or "insta-cure #1". The mixture is 93.75% sodium chloride and 6.25% sodium nitrite. When used, the recommended amount is a ratio of 4oz/113g for each 100 lb/45.36 kg of meat or 0.25% of the total weight of the meat. This blend is colored bright pink to keep the charcutier from confusing the mixture with regular salt.

The second curing salt blend is called "prague powder II" or "insta-cure #2". Also colored pink to differentiate it from table salt, this blend is produced from salt and sodium nitrate. This mixture is used for dry sausages that require a longer drying period which requires the presence of nitrate.
 
nhwrecker said:
Just read this on wikipedia to try and learn a little more about the salts.

Curing salt blends
Two main types of curing salt mixture are used by the charcutier. The first is known by multiple names, including "tinted cure mix", "pink cure", "prague powder", or "insta-cure #1". The mixture is 93.75% sodium chloride and 6.25% sodium nitrite. When used, the recommended amount is a ratio of 4oz/113g for each 100 lb/45.36 kg of meat or 0.25% of the total weight of the meat. This blend is colored bright pink to keep the charcutier from confusing the mixture with regular salt.

The second curing salt blend is called "prague powder II" or "insta-cure #2". Also colored pink to differentiate it from table salt, this blend is produced from salt and sodium nitrate. This mixture is used for dry sausages that require a longer drying period which requires the presence of nitrate.
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Wow. Dynamite info Mort... Soooo. Kinda like what I had just said?
 
Hey Mort... I bet you #1 is for short term curing meats that aren't going to be cooked and #2 is for longer term curing meats that aren't gonna be cooked.

QUICK!! Google that!!
 
Just bought some on amazon but bass pro shop sells it.

Got that brine recipe? I'm gonna do one pastrami and one corned beef
 
The reason I asked Cape was because I didn't want a *****bag dissertation, got one anyway. Thanks for the advice PTN.

Seriously though, I understand the risks. I have been using pink salt I got from a butcher a while back, just haven't ever had to go looking. We changed butchers a few years ago, and do all the smoking ourselves. While I don't mind eating the grey meat, I do mind the possibility of botulism. I have cured some stuff without it, but sometimes time gets away, and I would prefer to be safe. Besides, my doctor said I need more nitrates in my diet.
 
Brine recipe:

1 gallon water
2 cups kosher salt
1/2 cup sugar
25 grams pink salt
3 garlic cloves minced
2 tablespoons pickling spice

(For a 5 lb brisket)

Bring all ingredients in the brine to a boil and let cool to room temp. Place brisket in, weigh it down with a plate, and refridgerate for five days (i usually do at least a week)
 
Kaiser malt... I love that. It still cracks me up. Wasn't it also something like 6 pounds of nutmeg??

I can't believer Yopper blew that for us... that was solid gold.
 
Solid gold.


That's funny. Those are the EXACT words Yoop used to describe the U1 this past summer.


Well, I suppose if you can't brew a 'Solid Gold' beer like some other people do then you can amuse yourself with creating a mythicalingredient that gets the n00bs all hot and bothered. It's your way of putting your own spin on things.
 
Two and a half hours in and so far all I've managed to get down on paper is a title page and an abstract. Still, thats not bad, since it takes me two f'ing hours just to set up the paper by APA guidelines.

If I can manage to get down two pages an hour from here on I can be drinking beer by five.
 
Too bad you can't get your lager to ferment. For a pro brewer making solid gold beer that's pretty poor
 

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