The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

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Culinarytracker said:
Dear Android Phone,

When I am using Google Navigation to drive in an unfamiliar area, please stop receiving a phone call at the moment I miss a turn and need to see where I'm being re-routed.

Sincerely,
Frustrated Driver.


Dear Caller,

When I quickly send your call to voicemail, that means I need my phone to stop ringing. Please don't rapidly call back 3 or 4 times! You're only putting yourself on my $#!t List.

Sincerely,
Frustrated Driver.



Dear Toyota 4Runner,

Who decided to design you with that gap between the driver seat and the center console? When my phone gets dropped in there it takes all of my MacGyver skills to retrieve it.

Sincerely,
Frustrated Driver


Dear LHBS,

Thank you for being open so late. Android Phone, Caller, and Toyota 4Runner did everything they could to delay my arrival.

Sincerely,
Driver who can now go home and RDWHAHB
Click to expand...

Dear Toyota 4Runner driver,

Congrats, you pointed out the only flaw in these great machines.

It happens to me so regularly that I just go out and buy a new phone, there's gotta be 5 iPhones in that crack, never to be seen again.

Sincerely,

Not really, but props for having an awesome rig. What year?
 
Culinarytracker said:
Dear Android Phone,



When I am using Google Navigation to drive in an unfamiliar area, please stop receiving a phone call at the moment I miss a turn and need to see where I'm being re-routed.



Sincerely,

Frustrated Driver.





Dear Caller,



When I quickly send your call to voicemail, that means I need my phone to stop ringing. Please don't rapidly call back 3 or 4 times! You're only putting yourself on my $#!t List.



Sincerely,

Frustrated Driver.







Dear Toyota 4Runner,



Who decided to design you with that gap between the driver seat and the center console? When my phone gets dropped in there it takes all of my MacGyver skills to retrieve it.



Sincerely,

Frustrated Driver





Dear LHBS,



Thank you for being open so late. Android Phone, Caller, and Toyota 4Runner did everything they could to delay my arrival.



Sincerely,

Driver who can now go home and RDWHAHB
Click to expand...



Singletrack said:
Dear 4Runner driver with hard to reach phone,

I now keep a paint stirrer stick in my car to retrieve my phone when it tries to hide between the seat and center console.

Sincerely,

Hope to be Helpful, Sorry not funny
Click to expand...



Psylocide said:
Dear Toyota 4Runner driver,



Congrats, you pointed out the only flaw in these great machines.



It happens to me so regularly that I just go out and buy a new phone, there's gotta be 5 iPhones in that crack, never to be seen again.



Sincerely,



Not really, but props for having an awesome rig. What year?
Click to expand...


Get these:

http://www.buydropstop.com/
 
Dear sharona,
You already have a $5k red stove, no need to spam with the over priced file folder your relative somehow managed to make money on.

Sincerely,
It's called a cup holder for a reason. Wet phone anyone?
 
Dear frustrated driver, you could always either turn that phone off, set it to vibrate before starting to drive; or do like I do & let it ring. There's no reason to be monkeying with a phone, even to send the call to voicemail. It will go to voicemail on it's own after X many rings. Get a little holster for it & leave it there when driving. There are plenty of other things to be frustrated about whilst driving.
Sincerely, Not preachin', just sayin'.
 
Dear All-Drivers,

My friend looked at his phone when it rang, going 40 mph down a country road, and in that split second he went into a ditch and hit a tree. It pushed the steering column through the seat he was sitting in.

Sincerely,
Put your funking phone down while you are driving, you are not a good driver
 
Dear a holes on the phone while driving,
I don't like you! You are not so talented that you will forever avoid an accident and will one day kill an innocent person. Put down the damn phone and drive! You were on the road for a reason other than to piss me off, get to it. Although I haven't driven since June you still piss me off.

Sincerely,
Guy who drives by d!(Ks on phones and honks... a lot.
 
Dear Clients,

I'm a starting film freelancer, struggling to make a living in this fairly competitive industry. However, I do my best to give you the best bang for your buck. So I'm wondering why you'd try to persuade me to do your assignment for half the money I proposed? I know your funds are limited, but that's no reason to try to screw me over for a job well done. Be fair.

Sincerely,
A frustrated freelance filmmaker
 
Qopzeep said:
Dear Clients,

I'm a starting film freelancer, struggling to make a living in this fairly competitive industry. However, I do my best to give you the best bang for your buck. So I'm wondering why you'd try to persuade me to do your assignment for half the money I proposed? I know your funds are limited, but that's no reason to try to screw me over for a job well done. Be fair.

Sincerely,
A frustrated freelance filmmaker
Click to expand...

Dear frustrated filmmaker,
Freelancer? "Bang for your buck"? Just admit you are one of those amatuer porn filmmaker. No wonder you are frustrated. You are on the wrong side of the camera.
Sincerely,
Stop Denying
 
DrunkleJon said:
Dear frustrated filmmaker,
Freelancer? "Bang for your buck"? Just admit you are one of those amatuer porn filmmaker. No wonder you are frustrated. You are on the wrong side of the camera.
Sincerely,
Stop Denying
Click to expand...

Dear DrunkleJon,

Was it really that obvious :(?

Sincerely,
The guy on the wrong side of the camera
 
TheCADJockey said:
Dear Camera Wielding Dudes,

Quit complaining! The sexiest thing in our office is the coffee maker.

Sincerely,
Jealous Draftsman
Click to expand...

Dear Jealous Draftsman,
I hear you loud and clear. At $DAYJOB my situation is the same. I only get to have fun with sweet, sexy young things after hours and on weekends.

Sincerely,
I feel your pain
 
Newsman said:
Dear Jealous Draftsman,
I hear you loud and clear. At $DAYJOB my situation is the same. I only get to have fun with sweet, sexy young things after hours and on weekends.

Sincerely,
I feel your pain
Click to expand...

Dear I feel your pain,

How exactly is this a problem?

Sincerely,
Shaking my head...
 
Dear Document Cage Installers,

It's 30 dang degrees out, and your 10' long pallet is frozen to your flatbed. If you needed a forklift to unload it, why would you assume I would do that for you?

Sincerely,
I can't feel my toes.
 
Dear H&R Block,

You did not get me my billions back.

Dear Car Dealerships,

Is the $50 I get back really going to do me a lot of good when you match tax returns dollar for dollar on a new vehicle? Your commercials are annoying enough without pissing off my wife further.

Dear Wife,

We don't let the government hold on to our money for free all year just so we can try to get some back at the beginning of next year.

Get over it.

Sincerely,

Hates tax season.
 
Dear photographers,
You need my email address so you can send me the pictures you hate taking?

Sincerely,
I like to look, even if I already have something pretty that'll let me do dirty things...
 
Dear HBT,

Why you no unlike button? I have clicky fingers and click on "like this post" all the time, even when I don't like it.

Sincerely,

Now my likes given to unique posts liked ratio is not 1:1 and that bothers me. For whatever reason.

Dear Haircut Lady,

Thanks for the massage... don't know if that's part of the usual deal or not, but it was great.

Sincerely,

Relaxed.
 
Qopzeep said:
Dear Clients,

I'm a starting film freelancer, struggling to make a living in this fairly competitive industry. However, I do my best to give you the best bang for your buck. So I'm wondering why you'd try to persuade me to do your assignment for half the money I proposed? I know your funds are limited, but that's no reason to try to screw me over for a job well done. Be fair.

Sincerely,
A frustrated freelance filmmaker
Click to expand...

Dear frustrated film freelancer,
Realize this is a question of supply and demand for your clients.

Sincerely
MBA.
 
Dear Apartment Managers,
It's great that you set up one reserved spot per building, and even more great that I got the privledge to pay for and park in said spot.

It's not great that you did a turrrble job of marking said spot. In a week and change, I've had 3 people park in my spot. One, I called you and you had them move, one I knew what apartment they were in so I cop knocked and had them move, and the one tonight I caught in the act. But I'm going to just start having people towed, and they can yell at you. I did my due diligence, I even added an additional eye catching sign.

The folks that get towed tomorrow night, I might even do it tomorrow night and again in the morning, will be really mad at you but I don't give a bless.

Sincerely,
Just gimme a carport instead.
 
Dear Dan,

You are a fool. You're the only person I know who intentionally gave away a nice job. Great pay and benefits to move to a new state. You are a f.......g idiot.


You're a effing stupid, naive and arrogant ass!
 
TXCrash said:
Dear photographers,
You need my email address so you can send me the pictures you hate taking?

Sincerely,
I like to look, even if I already have something pretty that'll let me do dirty things...
Click to expand...


Dear LookyLoo,
Gloating. Or LP. I ain't gonna judge.

Dan said:
Dear Dan,

You are a fool. You're the only person I know who intentionally gave away a nice job. Great pay and benefits to move to a new state. You are a f.......g idiot.


You're a effing stupid, naive and arrogant ass!
Click to expand...


Dear Dan,
I haven't kept up, but it seems you haven't adjusted yet. Hope you find a way to start looking up.

Sincerely,
You guys made me open another beer.
 
Dear wrench,

Why did you pop off that overly tight-rusted in place oxygen sensor causing me to slam my hand into the rusty, jagged heat shields???

My hand now looks like I punched a running blender blade.

Sincerely,
A poor craftsman often blames his tools.

PS.... Glad it's not my fapping hand!
 
azscoob said:
Dear wrench,

Why did you pop off that overly tight-rusted in place oxygen sensor causing me to slam my hand into the rusty, jagged heat shields???

My hand now looks like I punched a running blender blade.

Sincerely,
A poor craftsman often blames his tools.

PS.... Glad it's not my fapping hand!
Click to expand...

Dear Fapper,

I don't remember a time working on a vehicle where that didn't happen to me. Maybe not heat shield, but you're just about guaranteed to bust your knuckles on something when rust is involved.

Hope you heal up quick, but it probably looks cool anyway.

Sincerely,

Been there done that more times than I can count.


Dear Me,

Why did you have to try and be all fancy and buy the floccing Colonial style base boards for the bathroom. Those things have more curves than your wife and made the job with the coping saw a huge pain in the ass.

Of course, you compounded that by doing all of your cuts downstairs in the garage so you didn't have to clean up sawdust. Would a few seconds with the shop vac be worse than going up and down those floccing stairs 1500 times?

Sincerely,

We'll never know.
 
Dear Russian River Brewery,

I know your posted capacity is 135 but I just counted and am number 137 in line. Can you really not find room for 5 more people!

Signed,
Waiting not-so-patiently...
 
Dear other Internet forum,

Rules are there to keep things civil, not to stifle people's comments, someone asks a question but nobody posts honest answers for fear of hurting someone's feelings or breaking any of the multitude of rules and getting a moderator warning about said post.

Sincerely,
Honest words are not always beautiful words.
 

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