bernerbrau
Well-Known Member
Now I have to go buy mario kart.
Make sure you give me your Mario Kart number. We play A LOT after bean goes to bed. a few pints and Mario Kart makes a great night cap
.(281): Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling ****faced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
(440): I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
(516): Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
(805): I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
....................As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
(541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I found this one to be funny.
(541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
(203): so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
(417):
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
(310):
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
(1-310):
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
(253):
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a ****. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
(253):
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
(281):
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
(661):
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
(319):
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
(904):
**** him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
(860):
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
(440):
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
(973):
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
(304):
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
(443):
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
(561): Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You sons of bitches. This thread and site was dead an buried. Buried deep.
Why on God's green Earth did you dig this up? You should both suffer.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The guy i ****ed last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
srsly...this thread should be resurrected every few months
*insert evil, maniacal laugh here*
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