Stupid Quotes by your Stupid Boss (or co-worker)

Yakima 728
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CreamyGoodness said:
you need to have a thick skin (code word for "we are insufferable a-holes here. we neither like nor respect each other, and after about a week here the idea of me being hit by train will give you an erection")
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Been there.
 
Im work as an RN and I hear the word "disorientated" and "orientated" a lot. Way more than anyone should. Its terrible.

"patient is disorientated to person, place and time"...
 
Fingers said:
I work in hydraulic generating stations. I once got a work order from a guy who had 20 years of experience telling me to fix the equipment going into the 'squirrel cage'. The bottom area of a generator is the 'scroll case'.
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I wonder if your boss came from the motor world...a squirrel cage can relate to the design of the rotor in a generator / electric motor but yeah not the same as the scroll case in hydro.
 
Billybrewer09 said:
I had a supervisor who was addressing the shift and said " there is no I in team, its T-E-E-M."
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My favorite response to that is "But there is a "u" in..." well, a word that rhymes with punt.
 
nyer said:
Now I have one that likes to make it look like he actually does something. Whenever we get a mass email he forwards the email back to everyone with "see attached".
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y old boss was bad about that. Um, yeah, that email address that brought it to your inbox, takes it to all our inboxes.

Soperbrew said:
It's not Rocket Surgery!
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Oh C'mon. I love that one. Its so hard it's like combining rocket science and brain surgery!
 
My previous supervisor always said the wrong thing. She'd regress when going off-topic, and if someone lost some abilities, they had digressed. One of my evaluations said that I was "detrimental" to the overhauling of a poorly-run program.
I was comforted when she complained to me that her supervisor routinely returned her reports with red circles and spelling corrections.
 
I had a coworker who had the habit of saying "this ain't my first rodeo" didn't bug me at all.
Until
Another coworker at the same job (hardware store) is about to make a big mistake in the paint dept (MY dept ) and I call him out on it, politely and quietly, and show him the right way to do it. He says "as Troy would say 'this ain't my first rodeo'"

Then proceeds to screw up 5 gallons of stain, and the customer leaves with the wrong product made the wrong way.
The customer came back a week or two later looking for more, and the same guy couldn't replicate it.

This ain't my first rodeo is now my least favorite phrase.
 
Co-Worker calls me yesterday (apparently I am not just a Paralegal, but also an IT Extraordinaire): "Hey Ryan, I am trying to print a pidif file from my YooHoo email account but it won't let me. Can you help me? What am I doing wrong?"

Me: ***pause***, ***mute phone to bang head into wall***, ***unmute***, "Why sure, I would be happy to help you open your YooHoo pidif. Does your computer have Adrocat?"

She said seriously "pidif" and "YooHoo". No joke.
 
More of annoyance, but when my boss explains something, she always says "in essence ..." I hear this about 20 times a day when she's on the phone. She also says "my god!" at least 10 times a day like something just blew her mind. I guess her mind in blown a lot over menial tasks.
 
"I'm not looking for perfection" is a line my boss uses frequently. He is ALWAYS looking for perfection.
 
I used to take notes in meetings of the absolute moronic things that would come out of my bosses mouth. A couple of the ones I can remember:

"That would be like cutting off our thumbs to spite our faces"

"What you say is true, but there is no truth to it"

One time, while searching for a new office building, he claimed that many buildings were being ruled out because they were too old, and the glass in the windows only had a limited life expectancy.

When I left, I gave 2 weeks notice. On my last day, after passing me in the office at least 2 -3 times a day, and not even acknowledging my existence, he called me into his office. He made some stupid comment about this being the first time he had seen me since receiving my notice. He then said "Congratulations, and may your success continue to endeavor".

It was all I could do to not simply stand up and walk out.
 
"I want you to stay late so I can mentor you"

I can't even begin to describe the rage I am still feeling just typing that one out.
 
CreamyGoodness said:
"I want you to stay late so I can mentor you"

I can't even begin to describe the rage I am still feeling just typing that one out.
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Sounds like the beginning of some good adult theater.... Just sayin'
 
"Of course sick leave is an employee benifit. But, it's not like you are entitled to it."

True story as I was made to sign a notice of sick leave abuse stating I had used 48 hours in a 6 month time span (despite having an additional 80+ hours of accrued sick leave).
 
In the military it seems like every senior NCO says "behoove". For example,

"It would behoove you to clean your weapon"
"It would behoove you to police up this garbage"

"Police up" is another stupid saying. They must teach this **** on their Sergeant's course.
 
The guy in the cubicle next to me seems like a goodly sort, but every day he is here he eats an apple as if he is eating jello with a straw. It's really making it difficult for me to like him.
 
Had a boss who wrote in an e-mail to a customer: "It's a loose-louse situation"

Spell-check doesn't prevent stupidity.
 
If one has unkempt curly hair, and a gnit falls on their shoulder, I would say they have a loose-louse situation...
 

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