Obituary

[stokems]

In an apparent murder suicide, these 2 brothers Clementine and Blackberry Mead were found dead in my basement on Memorial day. Clementine, the younger 1 gallon jug was always jealous of his 5 gallon older brother. Out of a fit of rage he exploded into Blackberry killing them both.
My heart goes out to the 6 month Clementine who battled with fermenting illness and 3 week old Blackberry who was merely a innocent bystander.

May they rest in peace.

 

[Edcculus]

Holy crap, did you have the fermenting mead sealed?

 

[flaminpi3]

Not to be morbid, but were there any crime scene photos that could be released to the public?

 

[SmugMug]

Just another case of brew on brew violence. Such a waste....

 

[Homercidal]

I believe there was a brief conversation just before the incident. it probalby went something like this:

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

 

[stokems]

Holy crap, did you have the fermenting mead sealed?

It had been 6 months or so and I thought it had finished fermenting( my mistake). So I put a cap on it to bulk age.....wrong answer.

 

[stokems]

Not to be morbid, but were there any crime scene photos that could be released to the public?

No, the cheif of police(swmbo) request immediate case closure.

 

[schweaty]

According to the police blotter, alcohol was involved. I hope that Al Queida isn't involved seeing how there was suicide exploding.

 

[stokems]

That Clementine mead always gave me the creeps.....looked at me funny.
But I must say it was a fine tasting mead...It was one of 5 single gallon jugs.

 

[ewbish]

Use a balloon to bulk age. No pesky airlock to forget about refilling, no blow back tube to suck in sanitizer, the balloon keeps out contaminants....and it makes a nice indicator of what's going on with your brew. If the balloon is standing up or swelling, your brew is producing CO2.........when it's flat, it's not.....and if the balloon inverts and sucks down, you've got a slight vacumn.

 

[SmugMug]

That Clementine mead always gave me the creeps.....looked at me funny.
But I must say it was a fine tasting mead...It was one of 5 single gallon jugs.

$10 at any grocery store can replace that jug for you. You just have to be able to choke down a gallon of CR craptastic wine.

 

[IrregularPulse]

According to the police blotter, alcohol was involved. I hope that Al Queida isn't involved seeing how there was suicide exploding.

I'm guessing it had something to do with GITMO.

$10 at any grocery store can replace that jug for you. You just have to be able to choke down a gallon of CR craptastic wine.

OR $5 at your LHBS and you don't have to choke anything down. At least at mine, and it's even a crappy one with horrible prices.

 

[stokems]

I'd rather dump it and keep the container rather than drink "Carlo Riskey".

 

[SmugMug]

I'm guessing it had something to do with GITMO.



OR $5 at your LHBS and you don't have to choke anything down. At least at mine, and it's even a crappy one with horrible prices.

Lucky. I don't have a LHBS. I just have to beg my mother and all her old lady friends to save their "jug-o-wine" bottles for me. I can handle the CR Blush if I use it to make Sangria, but that's still a stretch for me.

Who's up for some homemade Sangria??? Anyone? Please....

 

[Beernip]

No, the cheif of police(swmbo) request immediate case closure.

That sounds like suspicious activity. You may want to question her whereabouts on the night in question.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

I've heard there are terrorist yeast cells active in your region. Are any being detained for questioning?

 

[MacBruver]

This thread is an instant classic.

 

[stokems]

I pledge a toast in honor of our fallen brothers.
"To all who drink and our palettes in need,
To all who love beer, cider, and Mead,
We raise our glasses and salute those who brew hard,
And tip our caps to those in the brewers grave yard".

 

[carnevoodoo]

I'm guessing it had something to do with GITMO.



OR $5 at your LHBS and you don't have to choke anything down. At least at mine, and it's even a crappy one with horrible prices.

OR! Get one with apple juice. Ferment juice into cider. Reuse for other purposes.

 

[Hound_Dog]

I've heard there are terrorist yeast cells active in your region. Are any being detained for questioning?

If these terrorist yeast cell cells are not addressed in the immediate future, I will have to consider sending in forces to eradicate these aforementioned yeasties. These yeast have shown that they are a potential threat to brews and yeasts alike all over the world, especially after murdering billions of other yeasties in neighboring regions. I urge you to show progress in adressing the situation before actions will have to be taken.

 

[beerthirty]

This is a plot for sympathy(and possible free delivery of mead from slow minded mead aficionados). The legal specifics in this case change moment to moment. At first Blackberry was the eldest, killed by the younger evil Cain( I mean Clementine). Then Clementine miraculously became the older of the two with an unbalanced mental illness that apparently caused the act of the murder/suicide. Hmmm perhaps this is a simple case of maternal morbidity.

 

[stokems]

Mom always liked you better......!

 

[Wikipeteia]

I'm very sorry for your loss. My homies and I poured out (into our mouths) in tribute.

 

[homebrewer_99]

YOU BASTARDS KILLED KENNY!!!!

 

[CiscoKid]

Lucky. I don't have a LHBS. I just have to beg my mother and all her old lady friends to save their "jug-o-wine" bottles for me. I can handle the CR Blush if I use it to make Sangria, but that's still a stretch for me.

Just wait until the day you find your mom and her old lady friends enjoying their Blush or White Zin out of a BOX. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

 

[SmugMug]

Just wait until the day you find your mom and her old lady friends enjoying their Blush or White Zin out of a BOX. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

That day has already come and gone I'm sad to say. My mother knows how to appreciate good wine, but her cronies don't. They just want the buzz, so my mother obliges with the crappy stuff and keeps the good stuff for her and the family.

I'm thinking about *gulp* stopping off at the store this afternoon to pick up a jug. I'd hate to just pour it out (even if it's crappy) but I may just do it.

 

[Brewpastor]

Were younger beverages present to witness this horribly violent act? If so I would advise counseling, perhaps a support group. I have training in this area and will evaluate any secondary victims if that would help. All normal fees would be waved as a professional courtesy.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

If these terrorist yeast cell cells are not addressed in the immediate future, I will have to consider sending in forces to eradicate these aforementioned yeasties. These yeast have shown that they are a potential threat to brews and yeasts alike all over the world, especially after murdering billions of other yeasties in neighboring regions. I urge you to show progress in adressing the situation before actions will have to be taken.

Of course, we should be particularly worried about Islamic fundamentalist yeast cells. They want to kill the brews. They just hate the brews. Once they have destroyed the brewish homeland they will then come after us! Be warned.

 

[Brewpastor]

We must ask ourselves what we have done to ferment such a culture of violence. Why must it be "good" or "bad" cells? Perhaps if we isolate these troubled cells we can grow them in a controlled and nurturing environment, thereby promoting their positive nature for potential positive use in the future. I fear unless we change our practices we will only further the spread of the current infected culture.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

I've been holding some of these cells captive in my fridge. I withdrew them from a previous combat and gave them a good washing. They seem subdued when in containment, but I have noticed that as soon as I release them to the outside world they start to violently attack the brews. It's not all bad though. I have noticed that the brews face up well to the challenge from these cells, and in the end it only makes them stronger.

 

[Brewpastor]

Water boarding is not the answer!

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Water boarding is not the answer!

Oh come on!!! You gotta give them buggers a good waterboarding before you contain them just to show them who is boss!

 

[Brewpastor]

You are right, it isn't torture. I would do it to my own mother if I felt it would help her out.

I do believe a little time in the cooler is just the thing for these radical, er I mean misunderstood cells.

 

[stokems]

There were 3 year old stouts resting on the shelf to the right of 2 fore mentioned. They seem unaffected by this act...must be shock. Next step is counselling. Services were held yesterday by an Abbey tripel who was more than understanding.

 

[Brewpastor]

What do you expect, they are mature, and have a dark character themselves.

The Abbey Trinity. Very good.

 

[beerkrump]

Water boarding is not the answer!

Yea, but it is a great way to GET the answer.:cross:

 

[Hound_Dog]

Of course, we should be particularly worried about Islamic fundamentalist yeast cells. They want to kill the brews. They just hate the brews. Once they have destroyed the brewish homeland they will then come after us! Be warned.

LGI is right we should all be very worried about these terrorist yeast cells. We should all band together and water...er wort-board all prisoners that are detained in your brew shed/room/kitchen. I even propose pitching them into work camps to make them be an active part of the brewish culture.


Thanks be to the Abbey Tripel for a wonderful service for the lost innocents.


stokems- I'm afraid that you'll have to send the aforementioned stouts to me for further questioning.

 

[stokems]

It's time we all put this behind us...whether your Brewish, Muslin, or aletheist. We must focus on the lager issues at hand. Its time to look each in the eyes and accept the way your chosen God has mead.uh..made us.

 

[danorocks17]

this is probably the first time i laughed at a obituary. But then I felt bad, sorry for the loss

 

[Brewpastor]

Vut est zee taukin aboot?! Zee vone un only mother bier iz zee lager. Est blonde and est pure!