I know this sounds horrific but need help... Cow S#!t beer...?

[Robotcrab]

Quite literally put my foot in it today, a college aske me why I was picking bags of black berries and elder berries after work (we are dairy farmers) I told him it was for a home brew wine I was making, he already knew I was a bit HB mad, he laughed and said it wouldn't work, I told him I could make booze out of anything (bb's and ab's are probably the easiest) we standing in the middle of dairy lane (the avenues cows use to get too and from the dairy, typically caked in cow s#!t) and he said "bet you can't make it out of S#!t?"..... Mmm, I'm a proud man... And said "of course I can".... Mmmm...

So here I am hoping some one out there has a recipe????

Not holding my breath, so here is my plan...

Two brews, 1 gallon each

Brew No.1

1kg fresh cow S#!t straight from dairy floor
1 maybe 2 Camden tablets
500g LDME
15g northern brewer at least 60 mins
Yeast???

Brew No. 2

Same as above except 1 bucket full of sun dried cow s#!t taken from the paddock.

Method.

Top up CS to one gallon in open fermentor and add Camden tabs (might use 3) leave for 24hrs

Strain the mix into pot and bring to a hectic rolling boil, strain again, bring back to boil,LDME and NB hops for at least sixty minutes with a possible late edition of NB depending what it smells like, pitch and store in the far corner of the garage.... What do you think?

Worst comes to worst I'll throw it through a still, still technically booze from CS...



She doesn't seem to understand, I really, really, like beer...

 

[Melana]

I'm usually on board with trying anything and like to be encouraging.... My question... Would you want to drink it?

 

[Fedora]

Problem is, that's not beer made from ****. It's just **** flavored beer.

I grew up on a dairy farm and have inadvertently consumed my share of cow ****. I doubt you're serious about this.

 

[darylwoodman]

I'm not sure if you are serious or not? I'm sure you could brew some cow poop, but how bad is that going to smell once reconstituted. I see that you are treating with Campden, but still, Campylobacter, Giardia, Cryptosporidium, Listeria, E. Coli--while some of these are chlorine resistant, I'm sure the boil would take them out--even the spore-formers. But would you really want this stuff in your brew gear. I see infections down the road.

As far as yeast, there are probably more yeast strains in that patty than in my local HBS.

Good luck.

 

[MaltedBayerl]

I told him I could make booze out of anything

Tell your friend that you'll make it if he drinks it. That should get you out of it. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

"Hefescheisse?"

 

[Jeffinn]

Sounds like a non-sensical post to me. Why not dip your brew pot in the outhouse and brew with that?

 

[JonM]

Pretty sure this is a joke, but I'll bite anyway ...


Why are you trying to impress the guy who said you couldn't make wine out of elderberries and blackberries? He obviously doesn't know jack squat about fermentation, etc.

Second, you can't make booze out of anything. Things that aren't made to be consumed shouldn't be made into booze and then, you know, consumed. **** is at the top of my personal list of things that shouldn't be consumed, along with poisons, broken glass, and cilantro.

If you're really determined to use crap in brewing, however, just heat distill some pure water from the fresh cowpie and incorporate that water into your overall brewing liquor.

 

[1977Brewer]

You're just bull$#|+ing.

 

[JonM]

You're just bull$#|+ing.

 

[estricklin]

Bogus!

 

[flars]

Select one cow. Feed it sprouted oats and barley for a week. Collect the dung and bake it until it is powdery and sterilized. Use some of the powder in a wheat beer. Saaz, Tettnanger, and East Kent Golding hops may be a good compliment in the beer.

 

[Mike_kever_kombi]

Select one cow. Feed it sprouted oats and barley for a week. Collect the dung and bake it until it is powdery and sterilized. Use some of the powder in a wheat beer. Saaz, Tettnanger, and East Kent Golding hops may be a good compliment in the beer.

Hefferwiezen

On a serious note (?) If you think you can make beer out of sht, you really need to omit the malt extract. That's just cheating. The malt extract is making the beer, the cow sht is just a flavor agent, like orange peel, peppercorns, or vanilla beans. You would not say I made "vanilla bean beer" if you used 2 vanilla beans and 10# extract.

We all know this is a complete crap post, but hey, it amused some, and killed 3 minutes of my time. So it's all good.

 

[Teromous]

I encourage you to taste all of your ingredients prior to brewing. It gives you a better feel for how it will taste afterwards.

 

[Robotcrab]

I'm actually serious, and I agree the extract would be cheating, but there must be some fermentables in s#!t ?
Think I'm Going to drop the beer idea and go straight for the CS vodka idea... Boil the Jesus out of a bucket full watered down, strain,Camden, turbo yeast, distill...
As someone mentioned on a dairy it hard not to get it in your mouth so I'm not scared of it, it's just cow crap really and maybe city folk don't realise it doesn't actually smell that bad.
And on a side note the bulls are all out at the moment so it wouldn't be hard to make this from straight BS as they are all drafted out together so it could be BS vodka?


She doesn't seem to understand, I really, really, like beer...

 

[philosofool]

You need to bake it to at least 240 degrees first. There can be pathogens in cow **** that take hours to die at 210. I have a friend who is a microbiologist that has studied cryptosporidium in cows and you really don't want to mess with this ****, no pun intended.

 

[JonM]

Okay, more lame puns, beer label edition:

Blue Mooooooon
Cudweiser

 

[chawn]

You win. Prior to this post, the pork chop porter was the worst idea that I have read on this forum. Personally, coprophagy just doesn't do it for me.

 

[JonM]

It's a tie with "can I brew with my wife's placenta" and brewing with yeast that is ... well, candida albicans sourced from ... you know.

 

[unionrdr]

Bull Cookie Brew is right up there with the sticky stuff made for guitar picks called Gorilla Snot, caribou slobber, chocolate-covered beaver nutz. Maybe add some jacal jizz to the wort too? Or just ferment it up, & make methane?

 

[ubnserved]

You're just bull$#|+ing.

He did say dairy farm.... so no bulls there.

 

[Hamaki]

A lot of cellulose remains in cow manure. If you could break that down to simple sugars you'd have something fermentable. Silage is made this way, producing enough ethanol to preserve the food value of the mass of vegetation.

 

[Jeffinn]

I'm actually serious, and I agree the extract would be cheating, but there must be some fermentables in s#!t .

You'd be better of posting this nonsense over in the Recipe group. Maybe there's a few folks over there who enjoy the taste of manure.

 

[ubnserved]

Hefferwiezen

On a serious note (?) If you think you can make beer out of sht, you really need to omit the malt extract. That's just cheating. The malt extract is making the beer, the cow sht is just a flavor agent, like orange peel, peppercorns, or vanilla beans. You would not say I made "vanilla bean beer" if you used 2 vanilla beans and 10# extract.

We all know this is a complete crap post, but hey, it amused some, and killed 3 minutes of my time. So it's all good.

I wouldn't say that using cow patties is a flavoring agent "like" orange, peppercorns or vanilla, it is more like dog crap,cat turds, or wale droppings.

Don't forget to make sure that you get it as soon as it is dropped, having flies land on it and lay their eggs are really likely to give it some off flavors!

 

[Yooper]

Since our forum rules specifically prohibit discussion of distillation, and that has come up several times, this thread has to be closed.

Head over to the distilling forum to discuss this further. Although why anyone would want to, I have no idea.