30 minutes, make starter from slant the day before
90 minutes, drive to LHBS and buy ingredients-also buy new liquid yeast because I don't trust the starter
30 minutes, find all my equipment strewn throughout the garage
20 minutes, clean the crap off of said equipment, it looked clean when I was done brewing last time, but my judgement may have been influenced by 5 hours of drinking beer
45 minutes, mash in
30 minutes, run out of propane and drive to gas supplier
40 minutes, heat sparge water-have homebrew
30 minutes, sparge, collect 4 gallons of wort-crap I need more sparge water and another homebrew
20 minutes, heat more sparge water-where did I put my homebrew
30 minues, sparge again, collect 3 more gallons of wort-7 gallons, I'm going to have to boil that down, hope I have enough gas and homebrew
60 minutes, boil down to 6 gallons, drink two homebrews
60 minutes, start actual boil, add some hops, can't read the little numbers on the scale-use calibrated hand.
10 minutes, explain to wife the relationship between brew day and drinking beer-again
?? minutes, time to add more hops, where is my recipe?
?? minutes, what is that beeping sound?
?? minutes, boil is finished, I really should have sanitized the fermenter before now
?? minutes, cool wort, take sample to get OG
10 seconds, drop hydrometer on concrete garage floor-note to self buy stock in hydrometer company, add hydrometer #7 to shopping list for next brew day.
2 minutes, pitch yeast-check temperature of wort, hope yeast can survive 85 degrees.
10 minutes, check fermenter for activity-nothing yet, perhaps another homebrew will help.
5 minutes, debate cleaning equipement v. buying a whole new setup next time, decide to hose out everything I want to keep.
45 minutes, drink more homebrew, tell wife that soaking is an important cleaning step-unless she wants me to buy more equipment next time I brew.
30 minutes, order pizza, try to pay delivery guy with beer-write check, memo line illegible, probably something about dumb ass delivery guy who won't trade pizza for beer.
5 seconds, decide equipement would benifit from an overnight soak
10 minutes, polish off last of kegged homebrew, hope todays, no make that yesterday's batch ferments by the following afternoon, no make that this afternoon.
15 minutes, google search "liver transplant"
2 hours, wake up in front of computer, visit keg fridge-when did I run out of beer?
Might as well go to bed.