Homebrew facepalms

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A watched pot never boils...
In my younger and more vulnerable years, wait no. That was the Great Gatsby. When I was younger, I once said "Whoever accused a watched pot of never boiling clearly didn't try to pre-heat an oven!"
Buying a keg before I had a minifridge.

Going all grain before making a fermentation chamber.
Guilty on both. I don't see either as being a facepalm moment. I don't mind room temperature beer much to the confusion of some around me. I prefer cellar temperature but on occasion can't transport a cellar with me. It was the moment of discovery about PSI needed and line length to balance that caught me by surprise.

As far as the chamber goes I don't really have room for another appliance. I barely even squeezed in the keezer. Fortunately keezer temp is great for the main ferment of a lager without yielding a sulfur laden brew. Actual lagering around 4C might end up being problematic. Or skipped. A friend of mine has had luck with cellar temp lagering.

Going AG also reduces batch cost which one can hopefully at least break even after paying off equipment. Problem is that we always want the newer faster shinier and buy it - but this is a topic for a different day. It also opens up more possibilities and options to control certain aspects of the brew day. I once thought that extract was synonymous with canned kits, so I went from cans to AG. Looking back that viewpoint may have been worthy of a facepalm.
 
On my first brew I dropped my hydrometer into my bucket. It was very foamy since I had shook it to aerate and mix my top off water. I couldn't see where it went so I spayed my arm down with starsan and dug into the bottom of the fermenter to find it. After about 10 seconds I realized that the damn thing floats. The beer turned out pretty well

EDIT: I looked all throughout this forum afterward for confirmation that I didn't eff up my beer. I found a post, I think it was Revvy, that said he had stuck his whole arm in the wort. I had one up on him since I had sanitized and he didn't. THis is the beauty of this forum.
 
Went to the LHBS through northern VA traffic just to get there and find out its closed. Even had to deal with a nice accident that blocked all the traffic and had to be routed through a side street. Guess i should have checked to see if they were open. i just assumed being a home brew store you would be open on weekends since that's when everyone brews.
 
In a moment of madness, idiocy or just plain complacency. I put 6 pints of not even nearly finished lager into glass milk bottles (the kind uht milk comes in) and crown capped them. I put them in the cupboard at the top of the stairs and forgot about them for a few days. Lets just say at about 4am my wife and I remembered them when loud bangs started kicking up a ruccus and all of our towels got covered in yeasty half finished lager and glass! Im still apologizing for that one!
 
Well today was a painful mess of a brew day.

Heated to strike temp and more, ended up having to wait for it to drop 3 degrees before doughining in. Mash volume ended up within .2" of the top of the pot, despite doing 2.5G of sparging post mash. Not sure if grain volume is actually more than .08 gal/lb or if my pot is actually 7.25 gal and not 7.5


Mash temp ended up being 5 degrees to low after dough in. Took 20 minutes to get it to correct temp, had to do slowly since I could barely stir the mash.

Rest of it was fine. Boil was fine. Sparging and collecting second runnings from sparging bucket (biab) was a huge pain and a lot of work. Looking forward to not doing that again.

Boil ended up being .5 gallon too high. Maybe need to lower my grain absorption or do another test boil for my boil off rate Since the heat sticks get me to proper temps so much faster.
Put lid on to do no chill once the wort boiled down a half gallon, all 60 minute additions o no worries on hops.

Had to meet swmbo for lunch/dinner. Put lid on, but apparently forgot to turn stove off. Come back in an hour, another .6 gallons boiled off all over the stovetop. Cleaned that up some, topped off with boiled water, added chiller and turned it on. Out connection blew off, spraying me with boiling water. (Currently typing this with a cold compress across my stomach)

I wonder how this slightly caramelized semi imperial American stout is going to end up, and how long it's going to take to clean up the kitchen.
 
Well today was a painful mess of a brew day.

Heated to strike temp and more, ended up having to wait for it to drop 3 degrees before doughining in. Mash volume ended up within .2" of the top of the pot, despite doing 2.5G of sparging post mash. Not sure if grain volume is actually more than .08 gal/lb or if my pot is actually 7.25 gal and not 7.5


Mash temp ended up being 5 degrees to low after dough in. Took 20 minutes to get it to correct temp, had to do slowly since I could barely stir the mash.

Rest of it was fine. Boil was fine. Sparging and collecting second runnings from sparging bucket (biab) was a huge pain and a lot of work. Looking forward to not doing that again.

Boil ended up being .5 gallon too high. Maybe need to lower my grain absorption or do another test boil for my boil off rate Since the heat sticks get me to proper temps so much faster.
Put lid on to do no chill once the wort boiled down a half gallon, all 60 minute additions o no worries on hops.

Had to meet swmbo for lunch/dinner. Put lid on, but apparently forgot to turn stove off. Come back in an hour, another .6 gallons boiled off all over the stovetop. Cleaned that up some, topped off with boiled water, added chiller and turned it on. Out connection blew off, spraying me with boiling water. (Currently typing this with a cold compress across my stomach)

I wonder how this slightly caramelized semi imperial American stout is going to end up, and how long it's going to take to clean up the kitchen.

Ouch - been there. At least it's a stout - that may leave you with some epic goodness
 
Yesterday, I was trying to brew a "quick" extract batch, so I went to mill the specialy grains I was using (about 3 pounds). Well, I just got a monster mill, and I did one batch with it without much issues, but this time some of the parts were a bit loose, so some grain got in between certain areas and it pretty much stopped the mill. So I had to try and get the grains out of the make shift hopper and about a pound spilled all over doing that. I clean that up, refill with a guess on what mixture of grains spilled out, then connected my old corona mill to a board and balanced it ontop of a table for support. I thought it was balanced but didn't know that my drill was the thing balancing it. So I filled the hopper again, took the drill and... Boom... half of it all over the floor of my garage... At this point I'm so pissed that I wanna just say screw it, but put another guess mixture of specialty grains and gind what I need. It's a top off flander's red for my barrel, so i'm sure it will be fine, but nonetheless really annoying!
 
I haven't used a blowoff in the past dozen or so batches and haven't needed one, so I basically got complacent. I forgot that WLP530 is a monster. I spent an hour last night cleaning my fermentation freezer. Luckily it all came through the airlock and didn't blow the lid to the bucket off, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Also, that was at 68° wort temperature. I can't even imagine what a disaster it would have been if I didn't have temperature control.
 
Went to start the IC on a brisk fall morning and quickly realized that the garden hose was blocked with ice. I guess I should have thought of that ahead of time. Took a while to unclog it, but I had a trickle running through there.

Worst case scenario is my 20 minute addition acts more like a 30 minute, and my 5 minute acts like a 15.
 
Made a Gumballhead clone for my wife's bday, per her request. I put half the batch in a Party Pig in the refrigerator (second time using the Pig).

Once the beer was carbed up and ready I pushed the dispensing button, and as soon as the inflating piece (which pushes the beer out) inside the Pig started to fill, a screw on the dispensing cover popped out and I had highly-pressurized homebrew spraying ALL over my refrigerator.

So I frantically grabbed the pig (and made a huge mess) and pulled it out of the fridge and pointed the spray into the sink, as my wife started grabbing pint glasses and lining them up on the countertop. She'd put the glass next to the spray, and I'd direct the spray to fill each glass. By the time the Party Pig was empty, we'd filled about 15 glasses. It was a Sunday night, so we figured we may as well try to knock as many of them out as we could so they wouldn't be wasted. Well, they were all flat because the Pig never did have a good seal and they didn't carb up.

Half a batch of beer down the drain; haven't used the Pig since. Refrigerator still has places with beer in it which we haven't made an effort to clean...and this was back in July '13.
 
Here's one that I actually facepalmed. Wondered why my e-kettle is screwing up so far from set temp for my strike water. Upon further investigation I had it set to manual % mode from the previous boil. That'll do it every time.
 
using foamboard in mash tun for the first time, I put the writing side down. i sure hope it doesn't mess the beer up. has anyone else pulled this boneheaded blunder?
 
I have a couple to add:

- I was making my first batch of all-grain using BIAB; I heated up a metal pot of 2 gal sparge water to put through my grain. I poured a small bit of water through the grain and then set it down to let it drain; and picked the hot pot up the second time without the oven mitts...Hello 2nd degree burns on the first and second fingers of my left hand! Spent the boil with my fingers dipped in ice water; it hurt!!

- The second issue happened during clean-up. I was done and yeast was pitched; busy with pots and pans in the sink and stuff so water was flying everywhere. Picked up my phone and tried to surf or something; completely dead!! Apparently I set my phone on the counter in a puddle of water; pulled the back cover off and water all over the battery compartment! A few months later and I have a new phone...

mike
 
The spousal unit called me to pick my daughter up from school. 30 min into a 90 minute boil, I had 45 minutes to get into the fermenter. Brewing a Kolsch, so I think I'll be okay with a 75 boil with a 45 minute hop and a 15 min hop, my fear is a 75 min boils using 85% Pilsner malt.
Oh, she was delayed at the mall....
So she may have cost me a batch, a brew day as well as tapping my wallet, good thing she's pretty.
 
This weekend, I finally figured out how to move my grain bags (BIAB) from the mash kettle to the sparge kettle and strain everything without spilling a drop.

It only took me one year to do it.
 
My hose was frozen solid yesterday at 7am when I went out to fill the kettle. Thanks to BigJohn for suggesting I fill buckets of water from the sink and carry them out over the icy deck (I almost slipped twice). Then my IC hose was frozen almost solid. :(
 
using foamboard in mash tun for the first time, I put the writing side down. i sure hope it doesn't mess the beer up. has anyone else pulled this boneheaded blunder?

Put it in a crock-pot liner bag. Food safe and heat resistant.
 
Went to start the IC on a brisk fall morning and quickly realized that the garden hose was blocked with ice. I guess I should have thought of that ahead of time. Took a while to unclog it, but I had a trickle running through there.

Worst case scenario is my 20 minute addition acts more like a 30 minute, and my 5 minute acts like a 15.

Had that happen to me this weekend. Oh well, at least I discovered the beauty of an ice bath. Took 8 minutes to get the wort down to 65, when my IC takes around the same time to get the wort down to 75. I used less water and have an icemaker in my fridge, so I may use that method going forward.
 
My hoses and filter were frozen solid last saturday. I went and bought bottled water. Then I noticed my IC was cracked seconds before it dropped into to boil! Close one!
 
not a huge face palm, but I dry hopped both batches of my beer, but I only have room to keg one of them. So, I'll probably move to secondary and just dry hop again before its time to drink. Or who knows maybe I will keg and take to a party.
 
Multiple bomber crash this evening. Got a new fridge last week for the basement, excited to try a lager soon. Put an empty bucket in there just as a placeholder...so when I decided to chill a dozen bombers, I put them in the deep door cavity - you know, the one that can hold a couple gallons of milk- instead of the main area of the fridge. Pulled the door open, the railing holding the bottles in gave way, and my bombers headed for the concrete. Check that railing before you trust it to hold a beer in. Better yet don't put your beer in the door at all.


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Adding white grapes to my dandelion wine, misread the recipe and left the grapes in for two weeks not two days. Not a huge deal but when you spend that much time picking dandelions you want it perfect
 
Was brewing a Belgian Pale as a starter for a Wheat Wine this past weekend and had a friend hanging out while I brewed (I normally brew alone). Was gonna do a third of an ounce FWH/10/whirlpool. I got my scale out, changed it from oz to grams and promptly weighed out 33 grams for each addition.

Didn't realize my mistake until AFTER dumping in the FWH addition....

Ended up doing a 25 min boil so I wouldn't have a crazy bitter beer.
 
Brewed a great ESB. Decided to cold crash it, so dropped the fermentation chamber temp down to 36. Forgot to take the blowoff tube off of the airlock, so I ended up sucking the 2 qt bucket of starsan back into the carboy. That batch is now referred to as Extra Starsan Bitter.
 
Brewed a great ESB. Decided to cold crash it, so dropped the fermentation chamber temp down to 36. Forgot to take the blowoff tube off of the airlock, so I ended up sucking the 2 qt bucket of starsan back into the carboy. That batch is now referred to as Extra Starsan Bitter.

Just pulled this one myself.
 
Brewed a great ESB. Decided to cold crash it, so dropped the fermentation chamber temp down to 36. Forgot to take the blowoff tube off of the airlock, so I ended up sucking the 2 qt bucket of starsan back into the carboy. That batch is now referred to as Extra Starsan Bitter.

Just took a second place in the fruit beer category for an Apricot Cream Ale with 2 cups of sucked back Star San...
 
Was racking from my carboy into my keg in the kitchen and when I pumped down on the racking cane the pressure blew the end of the hose out of the mouth of the keg like an unmanned firehose. I managed to shoot a stream of porter ten feet across the kitchen. Generally I could just laugh this off and mop it up....this time my wife happened to be standing right next to me and immeduately shot rage lasers out of her eyes in my direction.
 
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