Home Brew speech criticism

[thebluewaffle]

Hey guys I am a college student who has recently become addicted to home brewing. I am doing my speech on home brewing and would like some constructive criticism to my outline. Maybe some things that I should add or change. Figured I get the experts to do this rather than my roomate.
Just to let you know I am 22 I managed to not have to take a speech class until my last semester of college. Here it is.

As college students I am going to take a wild guess that almost all of you have had a beer or two. And since most of you are under 21 you have some challenges getting beer. What if I told you it is perfectly legal for you to make all the beer you could ever drink and for half the price. I have already made over 10 cases of my own beer. I have made Oktoberfest, Pale Ales, Blonde Ales, and an IPA all of which were cheaper and tasted way better than the typical college can of beer. Today I am going to teach you the basics of home brewing. You will learn everything you need to know to be able to go home and start brewing tonight. Within a month you could be bringing your own home made beer to the next party. There are three basic steps to making beer. First is brewing your four major ingredients together water, grain, hops, and yeast. Second is fermenting your mixture into alcohol and third is carbonating and conditioning your brew into a great tasting beer. Lets begin with brewing the mixture you will be fermenting.
1. Beer is made from four basic ingredients, water, grain, hops, and yeast.
A. Great tasting water makes better beer.
B. Steeping your grains in water breaks down the fibers and extracts fermentable sugars.
C. Adding hops gives the beer its bitterness, aroma, and flavor.
1. Hops preserves the beer, fights off parasites and bacteria.
2. In order to legally call your mixture beer it has to have hops in it.
D. Adding yeast transforms your wort into alcohol.
2. When you add yeast to the beer it creates alcohol.
A. Yeast is a living organism that consumes sugars and when it does its b
y product is alcohol and carbon dioxide
B. In order to keep beer clean you must put in a sealed container with an
airlock so the carbon dioxide can escape.
3. Bottling and conditioning the beer.
A. When you bottle the beer you add slightly more sugar for the yeast to co
nsume trapping the carbon dioxide in the bottle carbonating the beer.
B. Conditioning takes anywhere from three weeks to three months leaving
You with cleaner smoother beer.


I will leave you with this. As college students we have barriers in the way of acquiring beer. It is illegal to buy, sometimes hard to find someone to buy it for us, and can get expensive. Brewing your own beer is a great solution to all of these problems you make it yourself for half the price of what the store charges. I love making beer and love the benefits and my friends do to. Just give it a try and I promise you’ll be hooked.


REVISION
Thanks for giving me some feedback it was a good eye opener. Here is revision that I think is a lot better. I don't believe it makes me seem as if I encourage underage drinking. Give me some feedback guys.

How Does Beer Work?​

Beer has been produced for thousands of years. When ships began long journeys overseas they packed as much beer as they could carry in place of water because beer is not as easily perishable as water. The main reason for this is the addition of hops in the brewing process. Hops preserve things from being attacked by bacteria as well as imparting bitterness, aroma, and flavor. Along with hops, water, grains, and yeast are brewed together to ultimately form beer. Brewing beer may be a mystery to you, but I am going to change that by teaching you everything I know about creating this amazing beverage. Lets begin with creating your base mixture also know as wort.
1. Beer is made from four basic ingredients, water, grain, hops, and yeast.
A. Great tasting water makes better beer.
B. By submerging grains into hot water you are able to extract fermentable sugars.
C. Adding hops gives the beer its bitterness, aroma, and flavor.
1. Hops preserves the beer, fights off parasites and bacteria.
2. In order to legally call your mixture beer it has to have hops in it.
3. When yeast is added to sugar it consumes it producing alcohol and carbon dioxide
2.Fermentation is the process of turning sugars into alcohol.
A. Yeast is a living organism that consumes sugars and when it does its b
y product is alcohol and carbon dioxide
B. Beer must be in a bacteria free environment while at the same time having an escape area for carbon dioxide
C. Factors that can change the taste and smell of your beer during
fermentation
3. Bottling and conditioning the beer.
A. Trapping carbon dioxide inside the beer.
B. Different types of conditioning processes and their final affects on
flavor and aroma.
Let me end on this. Beer is not a complicated science it is more of an art. You are the chef with many varieties of ingredients to use, all you have to do is come up with that right combination to produce a wonderful great tasting beer. So give it a try, who knows maybe you’ll be the owner of America’s next great brewery.

 

[michaeltrego]

You need to be legal drinking age to homebrew - and each state has it's own specific laws.

 

[thebluewaffle]

I dont think so.
Statute

United States Code of Federal Regulations Title 27, Part 25, Subpart L, Section 25.205 and Section 25.206
Beer For Personal or Family Use
(a) Any adult may produce beer, without payment of tax, for personal or family use and not for sale. An adult is any individual who is 18 years of age or older. If the locality in which the household is located requires a greater minimum age for the sale of beer to individuals, the adult shall be that age before commencing the production of beer. This exemption does not authorize the production of beer for use contrary to State or local law.

 

[WineChief]

Sounds to me like you have to adhere to the state law. If you have to be 21 to buy beer in a particular state, you have to be 21 to make it in that state.

 

[Airplanedoc]

You mention that adding yeast transforms WORT to alcohol. Make sure you define wort prior to this point.

Most home brew shops in college towns also check ID's

 

[thebluewaffle]

Man I didn't think about that I guess I could get some of these kids in trouble if there not careful might be second guessing this speech topic

 

[bierhaus15]

Edit: Nevermind.

 

[Marlowefire]

Either way in your opening you are advocating underage drinking. That's a no no in a speech class.

1. You should clarify what the types of beer are that you listed. If they have tribal getting beer. How the hell will they know what a blonde ale is?
2. On all your points you use jargon that other homebrewers would understand but most people don't know what steeping is. Explain your points as though you were talking to a 10 year old. Use other language to make t easier. You are basically boiling soup when you make a wort. Use common examples to describe the process.

 

[thebluewaffle]

Um, did you even read the statute you posted?

Not really haha I just saw 18 but, after reading it again it would be 21 in all states

 

[WineChief]

You could still use it. Just make sure to tell them they can't make it until they are of legal age in your state.

 

[jd3]

Man I didn't think about that I guess I could get some of these kids in trouble if there not careful might be second guessing this speech topic

POSSESSION of alcohol by underage people is against the law. I don't care where it came from.

 

[Dan]

I dont think so.
Statute


http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Minimum_Drinking_Age_Act_of_1984

I think you might be correct but not in every state.

 

[passedpawn]

They can make it and drink it in many states if with a parent. In those states that allow it (I think about half), you can be ANY age if with an adult in the home.

I do realize this is not the intent of college students, though

 

[BryceL]

Your outline looks decent and you could make a nice speech out of this. I would rethink your thesis though. Not sure it's a great idea to encourage underage students to make beer. I don't think the LHBS in the area would be to happy with a bunch of 18-20 year old kids coming in. Not only is it illegal for the students under 21, but could lead to trouble for the LHBS owner. I wouldn't want to see my LHBS go down for that.

 

[thebluewaffle]

So I will change the introduction and conclusion then so that I am not making it seem like the whole purpose is to encourage underage drinking. I believe this will make the whole speech seem a lot more informative and not make me look bad.

 

[BryceL]

So I will change the introduction and conclusion then so that I am not making it seem like the whole purpose is to encourage underage drinking. I believe this will make the whole speech seem a lot more informative and not make me look bad.

Good luck with it and have fun! I don't miss those speech classes.

 

[ReverseApacheMaster]

I dont think so.
Statute

United States Code of Federal Regulations Title 27, Part 25, Subpart L, Section 25.205 and Section 25.206
Beer For Personal or Family Use
(a) Any adult may produce beer, without payment of tax, for personal or family use and not for sale. An adult is any individual who is 18 years of age or older. If the locality in which the household is located requires a greater minimum age for the sale of beer to individuals, the adult shall be that age before commencing the production of beer. This exemption does not authorize the production of beer for use contrary to State or local law.

1. As far as I know, all states recognize the minimum drinking age at 21 now.

2. Many, if not all, states view college students as minors in a technical sense since they are still dependent upon their parents.


To the OP, I would definitely avoid anything advocating underage consumption, possession, or distribution of alcohol. I would also avoid advocating the production of alcohol on campus or anywhere the campus might be able to punish students for consuming, possession or distributing alcohol (such as an off-campus frat house).

Instead, maybe encourage it as a summer project when they go back home or encourage it as a way to learn to drink responsibly.

I would also really think about your professor and whether your professor will be put off by you even talking about alcohol and giving you a bad grade for it.

 

[broadbill]

Aside from the discussion of the appropriateness of mentioning underage drinking in your talk, I found your outline to be unorganized and using terms that your audience may not know.

You do OK in the first paragraph and actually line up a 3-step process of beer making (good). It falls apart when you have the random list of factoids below it. Instead expound upon that 3-step process in greater detail instead of spouting random facts.

Also, what is the purpose of your speech? To persuade someone to take up homebrewing? Is it a how-to on how to brew beer? Is it telling someone what scientific processes are behind beer brewing? It is unclear from your outline where you want to go with it.

I don't mean to be overly critical....as someone who struggled through their intro oral comm. class I understand how difficult public speaking can be. I have since had multiple opportunities to really become better at it, and in the end it all comes down to the fundamentals: who is your audience, what are you trying to tell them, and how to be both informative and engaging. Also: practice, practice, practice. good luck!

 

[JonM]

So I will change the introduction and conclusion then so that I am not making it seem like the whole purpose is to encourage underage drinking. I believe this will make the whole speech seem a lot more informative and not make me look bad.

This. It's a wonderful craft, and it's a total mystery to lots and lots of people. A good description of the process from a brewer can be great!

Encouraging underage drinking, even though I did more than my fair share of underage drinking in college, isn't a good thing. Besides, your instructor/TA, etc. might get p**sed and give you a lousy grade.

 

[davefleck]

C2, are you sure? I don't think "beer" is a legally protected term. Check facts diligently.

It's college... don't dumb down too much of the process. Instead of "yeast transforms" they are a fungus that feed on sugers and poop ethanol and CO2. This will also help when you later explain bottle conditioning.

And totally lose the underage angle. Convincing your prof you are encouraging such behavior will distract from your content.

And bring props. Let them smell fresh hops, show them different grain roasts.

 

[Marlowefire]

Also if you can. Have a video aid. Just film yourself brewing or someone else doing the process and mute it and talk over it to show the steps.

 

[thebluewaffle]

I was thinking of bringing in some grains, but the only hops I have right now is pellets do you think that will detract from how awesome hops really are?

 

[JonM]

I was thinking of bringing in some grains, but the only hops I have right now is pellets do you think that will detract from how awesome hops really are?

Can you print out (or project onto a screen) a big color photo of green ready-for-harvest hops on the bine?

 

[JonM]

Can you print out (or project onto a screen) a big color photo of green ready-for-harvest hops on the bine?

Properly attributed and used with permission from the copyright holder, of course.

 

[thebluewaffle]

Alright guys, I revised my speech and think it is alot better, but still looking for some feedback. You guys probably saved my ass with the police haha.

Beer has been produced for thousands of years. When ships began long journeys overseas they packed as much beer as they could carry in place of water because beer is not as easily perishable as water. The main reason for this is the addition of hops in the brewing process. Hops preserve things from being attacked by bacteria as well as imparting bitterness, aroma, and flavor. Along with hops, water, grains, and yeast are brewed together to ultimately form beer. Brewing beer may be a mystery to you, but I am going to change that by teaching you everything I know about creating this amazing beverage. Lets begin with creating your base mixture also know as wort.
1. Beer is made from four basic ingredients, water, grain, hops, and yeast.
A. Great tasting water makes better beer.
B. By submerging grains into hot water you are able to extract fermentable sugars.
C. Adding hops gives the beer its bitterness, aroma, and flavor.
1. Hops preserves the beer, fights off parasites and bacteria.
2. In order to legally call your mixture beer it has to have hops in it.
3. When yeast is added to sugar it consumes it producing alcohol and carbon dioxide
2.Fermentation is the process of turning sugars into alcohol.
A. Yeast is a living organism that consumes sugars and when it does its b
y product is alcohol and carbon dioxide
B. Beer must be in a bacteria free environment while at the same time having an escape area for carbon dioxide
C. Factors that can change the taste and smell of your beer during
fermentation
3. Bottling and conditioning the beer.
A. Trapping carbon dioxide inside the beer.
B. Different types of conditioning processes and their final affects on
flavor and aroma.
Let me end on this. Beer is not a complicated science it is more of an art. You are the chef with many varieties of ingredients to use, all you have to do is come up with that right combination to produce a wonderful great tasting beer. So give it a try, who knows maybe you’ll be the owner of America’s next great brewery.

 

[Diaperload]

If you have practiced your speech and have to fill and extra 30 seconds or so, you could explain the difference between ale and lager towards the beginning.

You could also add this in your section describing yeast.

 

[Airplanedoc]

When ships began long journeys overseas they packed as much beer as they could carry in place of water because beer is not as easily perishable as water. The main reason for this is the addition of hops in the brewing process.

Might want to check into this a little more. In times past or in Mexico today beer was safer to drink than water due to the boiling of the water killing the bad bacteria. Water could not be trusted to be safe to drink but beer was.

On a historical note the mayflower landed on Plymouth Colony because they were running out of beer on the ship. Their original destination was Virginia.

America the first BYOB

 

[JonM]

I always like telling people that barley is seeds. Seeds are full of starch. If the seed was to grow into a plant, it would spontaneously convert that starch into sugar and use that sugar to grow out of the ground until it could get sunlight. What we do in brewing is we trick those seeds into thinking that it's time to grow into a plant, so when they convert their starch to sugar, we can extract that sugar.

Not sure if that's scientifically accurate, but that's how I explain it to the uninitiated.

 

[Pappers_]

I always like telling people that barley is seeds. Seeds are full of starch. If the seed was to grow into a plant, it would spontaneously convert that starch into sugar and use that sugar to grow out of the ground until it could get sunlight. What we do in brewing is we trick those seeds into thinking that it's time to grow into a plant, so when they convert their starch to sugar, we can extract that sugar.

Not sure if that's scientifically accurate, but that's how I explain it to the uninitiated.

Great summation!

 

[unionrdr]

It doesn't have to contain hops to legally be called beer. Some,like gruits,use herbs & whatnot to bitter with. Hops came in later,beginning in England they claim. Also,fermenting beer pre-dates leavened bread by 3,000 years,according to new findings. We settled down into villages & cities to have more time to grow grains to make beer. And as was stated,even in Europe they found you drink the water,you get sick. If you drink the beer you were fine. It's all in the boiling & sealing the finished beer in kegs,etc. The hops just keep the beer from spoiling as quickly. They seem to work hand in hand with the alcohol in this respect.

 

[thebluewaffle]

It doesn't have to contain hops to legally be called beer. Some,like gruits,use herbs & whatnot to bitter with. Hops came in later,beginning in England they claim. Also,fermenting beer pre-dates leavened bread by 3,000 years,according to new findings. We settled down into villages & cities to have more time to grow grains to make beer. And as was stated,even in Europe they found you drink the water,you get sick. If you drink the beer you were fine. It's all in the boiling & sealing the finished beer in kegs,etc. The hops just keep the beer from spoiling as quickly. They seem to work hand in hand with the alcohol in this respect.

Your right, it was the German purity law, but it has since been repealed.

 

[unionrdr]

Well,they came up with that law because too many German brewers up to 1516 were using many things to flavor/bitter the beer that they were beginning to take the place of the normal fermentables to make more beer to sell or trade. Some were said to be ,well...nasty,others would make yo sick or worse. That law was intended to protect them from themselves.
But gruits are a legitimate style of brewing nowadays,as the precursor to what we now know as beer.

 

[gstrawn]

I dont think so.
Statute

United States Code of Federal Regulations Title 27, Part 25, Subpart L, Section 25.205 and Section 25.206
Beer For Personal or Family Use
(a) Any adult may produce beer, without payment of tax, for personal or family use and not for sale. An adult is any individual who is 18 years of age or older. If the locality in which the household is located requires a greater minimum age for the sale of beer to individuals, the adult shall be that age before commencing the production of beer. This exemption does not authorize the production of beer for use contrary to State or local law.

I think we're looking over the part that says if the location in which the house is located requires a greater age for sale then the "adult" must be that age. Although I'm all with you blue waffle. I must confess I'm not of age by much, certainly not longer than my brewing experience.

 

[BlackJaqueJanaviac]

I think keeping the underage drinking thing out is good. I can just see homebrewing becoming a fad in dorms.

• Then the police make raids.
• Newspapers run front-page stories.
• Politicians decide it is their job to solve this "problem".
• Politicians use the only tool they know how to use and give us MORE laws.
• Pretty soon LHBS find it rediculously cumbersome to comply with said laws.
• 1/2 the LHBS close.
• Now it is twice the distance to LHBS and they can charge twice as much.

Anarchy is no government; freedom is SELF-government.

 

[NWMOBrewer]

For the record, I think buying homebrew supplies and ingredients is legal for all ages, there is no alcohol. Not making alcohol is up to the person, not the LHBS owner. Thats why shipping brew stuff does not need adult to sign, anyone can sign.

 

[NWMOBrewer]

Also, I am doing a similar speech. I also need to write a persuasive speech if anyone can help with topics? Thanks.


Please excuse the tread hijacking. Homebrew speeches are awesome. Ha ha

 

[JonM]

For the record, I think buying homebrew supplies and ingredients is legal for all ages, there is no alcohol. Not making alcohol is up to the person, not the LHBS owner. Thats why shipping brew stuff does not need adult to sign, anyone can sign.

Yeah, but some reporter does a story about it, sensationalized as all get out, about how "anyone, including teenagers, can make as much alcohol as they can drink, and it's all perfectly legal - maybe your teen is fermenting beer right now ..." complete with photos of the LHBS and names of online retailers.

Goodbye "buying homebrew supplies and ingredients is legal for all ages," hello onerous regulations that drive up the costs or drive retailers out of town. No thanks.

 

[huge1s]

Also, I am doing a similar speech. I also need to write a persuasive speech if anyone can help with topics? Thanks.


Please excuse the tread hijacking. Homebrew speeches are awesome. Ha ha

If your speech is supposed to be persuasive/argumentative, just argue the point that homebrew saves you money

 

[sweenbeen]

I dont think so.
Statute

United States Code of Federal Regulations Title 27, Part 25, Subpart L, Section 25.205 and Section 25.206
Beer For Personal or Family Use
(a) Any adult may produce beer, without payment of tax, for personal or family use and not for sale. An adult is any individual who is 18 years of age or older. If the locality in which the household is located requires a greater minimum age for the sale of beer to individuals, the adult shall be that age before commencing the production of beer. This exemption does not authorize the production of beer for use contrary to State or local law.

The federal government has a legal drinking age old 18 years old but specifies the state government has the right to levy a different drinking restriction. They enforce this law by restricting transportation fundingcan to the states if the drinking age is below 21. Do a little more research when you cite federal laws. You must look deeper than just a simple google search.

Sent from my DROIDX using Home Brew Talk

 

[NWMOBrewer]

The federal government has a legal drinking age old 18 years old but specifies the state government has the right to levy a different drinking restriction. They enforce this law by restricting transportation fundingcan to the states if the drinking age is below 21. Do a little more research when you cite federal laws. You must look deeper than just a simple google search.

Sent from my DROIDX using Home Brew Talk

MO is considering of lowering the age back to 18, supported by many college presidents. They would raise liquor tax to offset lost funds.