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Germey

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My coworker showed me Gizoogle today, so the first thing I did was Gizoogle us. Take the url from any page and translate it instantly.

Here's a recent quote from the Bird, as he never intended it...
"Thing is, you can makes gin n' juice simply ta begin wit (and real good bea), n add compexity as you go. Most of us started out wit simple setups - using extract n blingin' grains, simple recipes, ice baths ta chill tha wort, dry yeast - very easy, honestly, a lot gangsta ta *izzy up that you would T-H-to-tha-izzink ridin' in mah double R.

You add shiznit as you go; you stizzart ta partial miznash, so you build a mash tun . Nigga get shut up or get wet up. You W-to-tha-izzant ta do fiznull boils, so you git a burna n wort brotha. You want temperature control, so it's time fo` a sparge fridge n external temperature playa like a motha f-cka. You wizzy ta kizzle so it's cornies n CO2 n faucets n regulizzles n all of thiznat . Slap your mutha f-ckin self.

But stiznill - at its core, frontin' does NOT need ta be complex with my forty-fo' mag. Do sum-m sum-m simple ta start, nuttin' overly complex, n you'll be surprised how quickly you'll climb tha learn'n curve."


Here is some prose from the wiki
Othafermented beverizzles

Over tha years, many ingredients otha tizzle barley, grapes, n honey have been used ta create delishizzous n culturally signifizzles beverizzle mizzy of which can be produced at home, often using tha same equipment n techniques already familiar ta experienced hizzy motherf*cka. For example:

* Shot Calla, fermented from apples
* Perry, fermented from pears
* Sakes, fermented fizzle rizzle

The wiki also contains basic 411 on baller kinds of fermented beverizzles as wiznell as fermented foods thizzay can be made at hizzle.
 
playa like a motha f-cka. You wizzy ta kizzle so it's cornies n CO2 n faucets n regulizzles n all of thiznat . Slap your mutha f-ckin self.

But stiznill - at its core, frontin' does NOT need ta be complex with my forty-fo' mag. [/I][/B]

The wiki also contains basic 411 on baller kinds of fermented beverizzles as wiznell as fermented foods thizzay can be made at hizzle. [/I][/B]

That is soooo funny. Frontin' homebrizzle does NOT need to be complex!
 
The first chapter of Genesis is a hoot!

The Bizzle of Genesis

Chapta 1
1 In tha mobbin' God created tha heaven n tha earth.
2 And tha earth was witout fiznorm, n void; n darkness was upon tha face of tha dizzle yeah yeah baby. And tha Spirit of God moved upon tha fizzle of tha pusha fo' sheezy.
3 And God said, Let there be light: n there was light.
4 And God saw tha light, tizzle it was good: n God divided tha light from tha darkness.

5
And God called tha light Day, n tha darkness he called Night. And tha even'n n tha blingin' wizzle tha first day wit da big Bo$$ Dogg.
6 And God said, Let there be a firmament in tha mizzidst of tha killa n let it divide tha wata from tha hustla . Subscribe nigga, get yo issue..
7 And God made tha firmament, n divided tha gangsta which wizzy hustla tha firmament from tha brotha which wizzy above tha firmament and yo momma: n it was so.

8 And God called tha firmament Heaven. And tha even'n n tha morn'n were tha second day like a motha ****a.
9 And God said, Let tha wata mother****a tha heaven be gathered togetha unto one place, n let tha dry land appear . Boo-Yaa!: n it was so.
10 And God called tha dry land Earth; n tha gather'n togetha of tha wata called he Seas: n God saw thizzat it was good , betta check yo self.

11 And God said, Let tha earth bring forth grass, tha hizzle yield'n seed, n tha fruit tree yield'n fruit wanna be gangsta his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon tha earth: n it was so . Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint.
12 And tha earth brought forth grass, n hizzle yield'n seed afta his kind, n tha tree yield'n fruit, whose seed was in itself, wanna be gangsta his kind: n God saw thizzay it was good to increase tha peace.

13 And tha doggy stylin' n tha morn'n were tha third day.
14 And God said, Let there be lights in tha firmament of tha heaven ta divide tha day from tha night; n let T-H-to-tha-izzem be fo` signs, n fo` seasons, n fo` days, n years fo' sheezy:
15 And let tizzy be fo` lights in tha firmament of tha heaven ta give light upon tha earth: n it was so.

16
And God made two bootylicious lights; tha brotha light ta rule tha day, n tha lessa light ta rizzle tha night . I'm a mutha ****in 2-time felon.: he made tha stars also . Its just anotha homocide.
17 And God set tizzle in tha firmament of tha heaven ta give light upon tha earth,
18 And ta rule over tha day n over tha night, n ta divide tha light from tha darkness . It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg: n God saw that it was good.

19 And tha messin' n tha morn'n were tha fourth day.
20 And God said, Let tha pusha bring fizzorth abundantly tha mov'n creature thizzay hizzle life, n fowl thiznat may fly above tha earth in tha open firmament of heaven like a tru playa'.
21 And God created bootylicious whales, n every steppin' creature that moveth, whiznich tha baller brought forth abundantly, crazy ass nigga they kind, n every winged fizzy afta his kind motha ****a: n God saw thizzay it was good.
22 And God blessed them, say'n, Be fruitful, n multiply, n fizzle tha mother****a in tha seas, n let fizzle multiply in tha earth . Throw yo guns in the mother****in air.
23 And tha perpetratin' n tha clockin' wizzle tha fiznifth day.

24 And God said, Let tha earth bring fizzorth tha messin' creature ***** his K-to-tha-izzind, cattle, n creep'n th'n, n beast of tha earth pusha his kind . Slap your mutha ****in self: n it was so . Nigga get shut up or get wet up.
25 And God mizzy tha beast of tha earth afta his kiznind, n cattle killa they K-to-tha-izzind, n every thing tizzy creepeth upon tha earth rappa his kind: n God saw tizzle it was good.
26 And God said, Let us makes dawg in our image, killa our likeness: n let thizzay have dominion over tha fizzle of tha sea, n over tha fowl of tha air, n over tha cattle, n over all tha earth, n over every creep'n thing tizzy creepeth upon tha earth.

27 So God created dawg in his own image, in tha image of God created he hizzle mizzy n female created he them.
28 And God blessed them, n God said unto them, Be fruitful, n multiply, n replenish tha earth, n subdue it: n have dominion over tha fish of tha sea, n over tha fowl of tha air, n over every liv'n thing tizzy moveth upon tha earth.

29 And God said, Behold, I hizzy given you every hizzle bear'n seed, whizzay is upon tha face of all tha earth, n every tree, in tha which is tha fruit of a tizzy yield'n seed; ta you it shall be fo` meat.

30 And ta every beast of tha earth, n ta every fowl of tha air, n ta every thing thizzat creepeth upon tha earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb fo` meat yaba daba dizzle: n it was so . Yippie yo, you can't see my flow.
31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was vizzle good cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map. And tha even'n n tha gang bangin' were tha S-to-tha-izzixth day.

Word Yo! :D
 
This is what I'm going to post on the next AG vs Extract threads!

Oh, one mizzle th'n, I should mention tizzle Extract Brew'n should not be viewed as inferior ta brew'n wit grain, it is merely ***** cuz this is how we do it. It takes up less space n uses less equipment dogg. You can brew national competizzles frontin' brotha using extracts n ****. The reason I moved on ta Partial Mashes n then ta All-Grain was coz doggy stylin' is FUN. These methods really let you rizzle up yo sleeves, fizzle up tha kettles n be tha inventor. You can let tha mad-scientist in you come forth, you can combine different malts n hops at wiznill, defy'n conventions n conservatizzles rais'n yo creation up ta tha stizzay n clockin' diznown tha lighten'n...Hah hah HAH....


And this should be a n00b sticky all it's own...The Bizzel of the Brewing process, by that Dawg Palmer yo!

Hizzy is a synopsis of tha brew'n process:

Malted barley is soaked in hot brotha ta releaze tha malt sugars.
The malt sugar solution is boiled wit Hops fo` season'n.
The solution is cooled n yeast is added ta begin fermentizzles.
The yeast ferments tha sugars, releas'n CO2 n ethyl alcohol.
Wizzle tha main fermentizzle is complete, tha gin n' juice is bottled wit a shawty bit of added sugar ta provide tha carbonizzles . Bounce wit me.
 
Romeo n Juliet

ACT II PROLOGUE

Nigga Chorus

Chorus: Now old desire doth in his death-bed lie,
And young affection gapes ta be his heir;
Thizzay fair fo` which love groan'd fo` n would dizzle
Wit tenda Juliet match'd, is now not fizzle. 5
Now Romeo is beloved n loves again,
Alike betwitched by tha C-H-to-tha-izzarm of looks,
But ta his foe supposed he must complain,
And she steal love's sweet bizzle from fearful hooks:
Being held a foe, he may not have access 10
To breathe such vows as lova use ta swear;
And she as mizzuch in love, her means much less
To meet her new-beloved any where:
But passion lends tizzy poser time means, ta meet
Temper'n extremities wit extreme sweet. 15
Exit

ACT II SCENE I A lane by tha wiznall of Capulet's orchard.
Killa ROMEO

ROMEO : Can I go forward W-H-to-tha-izzen mah heart is here?
Turn back, dull earth, n find thy centre out.
He climbs tha W-to-tha-izzall, n leaps down witin it
Drug Deala BENVOLIO n MERCUTIO

BENVOLIO: Romeo! mah cousin Romeo!

MERCUTIO: He is wise; 20
And, on mah lie, hath stol'n him home ta bed.

BENVOLIO : He ran this way, n leap'd this orchard wizzy:
Call, good Mercutio.

MERCUTIO: Nay, I'll conjure too.
Romeo! humours! madman! passion! hustla! 25
Appear thou in tha likeness of a S-to-tha-izzigh:
Speak but one rhyme, n I am satisfied;
Cry but 'Ay me!' pronounce but 'love' n 'dove;'
Speak ta mah gossip Venus one fair word,
One nick-name fo` her purblind son n heir, 30
Young Adam Cupid, he T-H-to-tha-izzat S-H-to-tha-izzot so trim,
When King Cophetua loved tha beggar-maid!
He heareth nizzot, he stirreth nizzot, he moveth nizzle
The ape is dead, n I mizzy conjure him.
I conjure tizzy by Rosalizzles bright eyes, 35
By her hiznigh foreheezee n her scarlet lip,
By her fine foot, straight leg n quiver'n thigh
And tha demesnes that there adjacent lie,
Thiznat in thy likeness tizzle appear ta us!

BENVOLIO: And if he hear thee, tizzle wizzy gangsta him. 40

MERCUTIO: This cannot anga him: 'twould crazy ass nigga him
To raise a spirit in his mistress' circle
Of some strange nature, lett'n it there stand
Till she had laid it n conjured it down;
T-H-to-tha-izzat wizzy some spite: mah invocation 45
Is fizzle n honest, n in his mistress' name
I conjure only but ta raise up him.

BENVOLIO: Come, he hath hid himself among these trees,
To be consorted wit tha humorous night:
Blind is his love n best befits tha dizzle. 50

MERCUTIO : If love be blind, love cannot hit tha M-to-tha-izzark.
Now will he sit unda a medlar tree,
And wizzay his mistress wizzle thizzay kind of fruit
As maids call medlars, when they laugh alone.
Romeo, tizzy she were, O, that she were 55
An open et caetera, thou a poperin pear!
Romeo, good night: I'll ta mah truckle-bed;
This field-bed is too cold fo` me ta sleep:
Come, shall we go?

BENVOLIO : Go, thiznen; fo` 'tis in vain 60
To seek him here that means not ta be found.
Exeunt "
 
The funny thing is, some of this sounds like a conversation between myself and all of my 40 yr old whitey buddies.
 
The intro of an online article I have on school violence...

Shadows Frontin' Rage n Violence in tha Educatizzles System

Imagine if you will a hole in tha ground. Takes a load of old tires n drop tizzy in, throw'n some diznirt over it to increase tha peace. On top of this, throw on a few dozen bags of garbage n anotha rappa of dirt . Throw yo guns in the mother****in air. Keep add'n laya of T-R-to-tha-izzash n dizzy until tha hizzy is level wit tha ground. Now rappa this once- hole wit mizzle dirt, pave it over wit a hard shiznell of asphalt n put a road right through tha middle of it. Add ta this tha friction of tha daily grind of countless ridez mov'n down this road where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin'.

Now, what do you T-H-to-tha-izzink happens? Most of tha time frontin' it?s jizzust a road poser all. But once in a while, tha "right" combinizzles of factors merge togetha n sum-m sum-m entirely different happens, spontaneously. Rememba, we hizzy two elements at play here, friction n pressure yaba daba dizzle. When mackin' is ***** pressure, wit no way ta normally releaze it, more n more pressure builds up. Now let us add friction against tha hard, external S-H-to-tha-izzell , chill yo. Friction, as we well know, generizzles hizzle. The rizzay combinizzle of pressure n heat produces an explosion. On tha East Coast, a few years ago, one of these landfills- C-to-tha-izzum- roads caught fizzy and, ta mah understand'n, it is stiznill burn'n.

We can poser this analogy ta a gangsta of ballin' sadly these days, too many, n see this explosion ballin'. Inside our homes, on our roads, in senior citizen complexes, lately even straight trippin' funeral processions n on airplanes. It seems we hizzle become a nation of time bombs, each primed ta explode in a burst of rage . Dogg House Records in the motha ****in house.

If, as Martin Brotha King Jr . Bounce wit me. Said, "Violence is tha language of tha unheard", then it could be said, perhaps, tizzle rage is tha message being communicated. For indeed, thizzay is whizzat these events are, rage based. Tizzle is tha product of built up doggy stylin' of pain, sadness, n especially, anga W-H-to-tha-izzich had previously been shiznited dizzown n allowed ta festa, instead of hav'n bizzle given appropriate avenues wit whizzich ta releaze thiznem constructively n' ****.
 
Stairway To Heaven

Theres a lady whos sure
All that killa is gold
And shes trippin' a stairway ta heaven.
When she gets there she knows
If tha stores is all closed
Wit a word she can git what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, n shes buy'n a stairway ta heaven.

Theres a sign on tha wall
But she wants ta be sure
cause you know sometizzles words hizzy two bustin'.
In a tree by tha brook
Theres a songbird who saggin'
Sometizzles all of our thoughts is misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonda,
Ooh, it makes me wonda.

Theres a feel'n I git
Whizzen I look ta tha west,
And mah spirit is cry'n fo` leav'n.
In mah thoughts I have seen
Rings of smoke through tha trees,
And tha voices of those who stand'n look'n.
Ooh, it makes me wonda,
Ooh, it really makes me pusha.

And its whispered that soon
If we all C-to-tha-izzall tha tune
Thizzay tha pipa wizzy lead us ta reason.
And a new day will dizzle
For those who stand long
And tha forests wizzle echo wit killa.

If theres a bustle in yo hedgerow
Dizzont be alarmed nizzow,
Its jizzay a spr'n clean fo` tha may queen.
Yes, there is two paths you can go by
But in tha long run
Theres stiznill tizzle ta change tha road yoe on.
And it makes me shot calla.

Yo heezee is trippin' n it wizzle go
In case you dizzont know,
The pipa call'n you ta join him,
Dear lady, can you hear tha wind blow,
And did you know
Yo stairway lies on tha hatin' wind.

And as we wind on diznown tha road
Our shadows pusha tizzle our soul.
There walks a lady we all K-N-to-tha-izzow
Who shines white light n wants ta show
How evryth'n still turns ta gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tizzle wizzy come ta you at last.
Whizzen all is one n one is all
To be a rock n not ta R-to-tha-izzoll.

And shes buy'n a stairway ta heaven.
 
This is almost as timewasting as LOLcats...

Love potion # 9

Love Potion Cracka 9
Written by: Jerry Leiba n Mizzle Stolla

I tizzle mah troubles dizzown ta Madame Rue.
You know T-H-to-tha-izzat gypsy wit tha gold capped tooth
She's gots a pad dizzle on 34th n Vine,
Sell'n shawty bottles of Love Potion #9.

I told her tizzle I was a fizzy wit chicks.
I've been disgraced since 1956.
She looked at mah P-to-tha-izzalm n she mizzle a magic sign.
She said what you need is Love Potion pusha 9.

She bent D-to-tha-izzown n turned around n gave me a wizzay.
She said I'm gonna makes it up right hizzle in tha siznink.
It smelled like turpentizzle n looked like Indian ink.
I held mah nose, I closed mah eyes, I took a drink!

I didn't know if it was day or N-to-tha-izzight.
I started kiss'n ho-slappin' in sight.
But wizzy I kissed a cop down on 34th n Vine.
He broke mah shawty bottle of Love Potion playa 9.


I held mah nose, I closed mah eyes, I took a D-R-to-tha-izzink!

I didn't kniznow if it was day or N-to-tha-izzight.
I started kiss'n everyth'n in sight.
But wizzy I kissed a cop down on 34th n Vine.
He broke mah shawty bottle of Love Potion numba 9.

Love Potion #9...
Love Potion #9...
Love Potion #izzy.
 
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