Have you ever pooped in your pants?

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So, how bad?

  • No, not even close you sick ****!

  • No chunks, but I’ve left some streaks

  • Honestly, I thought it was a fart!

  • Tub girl has nothing on me!


Results are only viewable after voting.
When I was in England last, a friend of mine and I went out for a curry and some beers. On the way home, we got stuck in a jam on the A40. He was complaining about cramps and was farting up a storm. After about 45 minutes, he started to jump out of the car, only to crap himself bigtime before he had a chance to drop trou. I walked back to the hotel.
 
I'll admit to it:D I was in college and had just gotten over a bad case of the flu. Litterally felt like I was p***ing out my butt. I felt like I was good enough to start going back to class, got half way across campus and just let go:eek: Found a public bathroom, dumped my shorts in the garbage and went back to my room for another couple of days.
 
My favorite line from Along Came Polly...

Sandy Lyle: Reuben, I'm in a situation here. We have to leave now.
Reuben Feffer: No. Can we stay a couple more minutes?
Sandy Lyle: Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted.
Reuben Feffer: I don't know what that means.
Sandy Lyle: I tried to fart and a little **** came out. I just sharted. Now let's go.
Reuben Feffer: You're the most disgusting person I've ever met in my life.
 
Hey... it happens! You're sick, lots of gas, everything seems fine one minute, then wham!! You get more than you bargained for, if you get my drift.:D
 
I had food poisoning or a stomach flu or something last year. I was up all night puking and crapping. The next day, I was actually able to sleep for a solid hour without having to do either. Unfortunately, when I woke up and moved, I realized that I actually wasn't able to go a full hour without crapping......
 
oh please someone ask who tubgirl is....... please please please please.......

<rubbing hands together gleefully>
 
I was 14 miles southwest of Hue and a forward observer fielding an M14 and a Remington 338/.300 sniper rifle with Maxim silencer system. with one spotter teammate. When my ground survellience radar picked up a NVA unit with armored vehicles.(turned out to be 8 T34 tanks) I **** my drawers in the panic of radioing for air support and helicopter to get our asses out of there. And there were numerous times pissing in pants during firefights. You just couldn't stop to take the time to do things normally. F4 cooked their bacon with napalm and we successfully evacuated by Hughie/ Army didn't want to lose the ground survelliance radar and got real good support because of it.
 
eviltwinofjoni said:
oh please someone ask who tubgirl is....... please please please please.......

<rubbing hands together gleefully>


No, no no! Do not, under any circumstances, search for or google tubgirl. You will regret it with every part of your being. Don't say I didn't warn you. You will never be the same. Don't do it, for the love of God, don't do it.


Really makes you want to, huh? :D

Lorena
 
Genghis77 said:
I was 14 miles southwest of Hue and a forward observer fielding an M14 and a Remington 338/.300 sniper rifle with Maxim silencer system. with one spotter teammate. When my ground survellience radar picked up a NVA unit with armored vehicles.(turned out to be 8 T34 tanks) I **** my drawers in the panic of radioing for air support and helicopter to get our asses out of there. And there were numerous times pissing in pants during firefights. You just couldn't stop to take the time to do things normally. F4 cooked their bacon with napalm and we successfully evacuated by Hughie/ Army didn't want to lose the ground survelliance radar and got real good support because of it.

Damn! :eek: That pretty much tops my "5 star Thai food" story. Besides, I never actually crapped myself.....I just wanted to really badly.
 
I was in Ingles one day (grocery store) with my roomate. We had been making moonshine and getting hammered everyday. It definintely did a number on our bowels. WHile walking past the meets section, I'm pushing a cart and he's checking out some chicken breasts. Alls well, then he scream "OH ****, I JUST SHARTED!" and takes off in a powerwalk. I laugh a bit, checking to see if he has **** running down his legs. He gets out of my sight and I started shopping again only to see him walking with the same stride right back towards me. He lets out a "can't find the dam bathroom" as he powerwalks past me. This happens three times before he finds the bathroom. Was hilarious.

He's also a mountain climber and told me about a time he had the runs while on the side of a cliff with 2 other climbers. He was below them so he told em, "guys, I gotta **** ... right now." so he dropped his pants and let the liquid free. He didn't realize how hard the wind was blowing UP the mountainside. Needless to say, he and his friends were covered in ****.
 
Yooper Chick said:
No, no no! Do not, under any circumstances, search for or google tubgirl. You will regret it with every part of your being. Don't say I didn't warn you. You will never be the same. Don't do it, for the love of God, don't do it.


Really makes you want to, huh? :D

Lorena
You are just evil through and through, ain'tcha :D :D And by the way; Farts are NOT supposed to be lumpy!
 
Evets said:
You are just evil through and through, ain'tcha :D :D And by the way; Farts are NOT supposed to be lumpy!

I totally agree with you, evil evil EVIL... I was warned by several people, but i just HAAAAD to see... Not the nastiest thing I've seen, but it was up there...
 
Aroun 1999, I was in Memphis for the Beale Street Music Fest with a friend. We did some acid one night and drank a lot of frozen blue drinks. The next day, we were sitting in a park when all of a sudden my stomach went wrong. I saw some kind of hole in the ground and ran over there to relieve myself in it. Mind you, this was a crowded park. People immediately saw what I was doing and yelled "Sh*TTER!!!!" My friend had to bring me a discarded McDonald's bag for wiping.

That was horrible.

BTW, I'm pooping as I type this. I love laptops and wireless.
 
Personally, I think poop is one of the funniest things in the world. No matter how much of a bigshot you are, everybody does it.

SWMBO doesn't agree. She thinks it's juvenile:drunk:
 
While I was studying in France I was invited to a fancy dinner. It was quite a do, coats and ties, university administrators, the mayor of Orleans, nine forks and the like. So I'm sitting around this huge table in Voltaire's old home, pretty hammered on red table wine :drunk: sippin' my afterdinner cognac chattin' all suave with these cats, when I feel this rumble in my gut. Uh oh :(

"Excuse moi, Monsuidames." I ran to the bathroom, dropped my pants and realize the worse. I buried those shorts in the trashcan, sauntered back into the dining room, lit a cigarette and resumed my drink, cool as you wanna be.
 
Three thoughts: Lenny Bruce was once quoted as saying,"The most overrated thing in the world is a good f**k, but the most underrated is a good s**t."

Whenever I get a really bad case of the flu, it's like "2 exits, no waiting."

Steve Martin did a bit about going back to the table at a posh dinner party, after crapping in the bathroom. He said,"I walked back to the table and said really loud,'Man, did I stink it up in there'."
 
Cheesefood said:
Aroun 1999, I was in Memphis for the Beale Street Music Fest with a friend. We did some acid one night and drank a lot of frozen blue drinks. The next day, we were sitting in a park when all of a sudden my stomach went wrong. I saw some kind of hole in the ground and ran over there to relieve myself in it. Mind you, this was a crowded park. People immediately saw what I was doing and yelled "Sh*TTER!!!!" My friend had to bring me a discarded McDonald's bag for wiping.

That was horrible.

BTW, I'm pooping as I type this. I love laptops and wireless.


Man, I can only imagine... There's McD bags a plenty in the streets around here (this place sucks)...

I doubt they were calling you sh*tter because of what you were doing, they yell that anyway...

----

There's been several times where i thought i was going to ****e myself but i managed to hold back...
 
Never done it. Very happy and grateful about this. My mate farted a couple of weeks ago and went for a shower soon after. Apparently, "dropped a spoonful".
Very common I have heard but I have yet to join the club! (note the word yet)
 
Absolutely; I have no shame. :cross:

Don't remember how long ago it was though. It's been years and to my credit it was because of the flu as well.
 
OK, OK, I'll comment on this...

When I was 13, a friend and I were in the woods behind my house. We were walking across a tree that had fallen over a creekbed about 15~20 feet up. I fell off and landed flat on my back - knocked myself clean out. The only thing that saved me was that I landed in the mud - thank God there were no big rocks or sticks. Anywho, I had my breath completely out of me as well as shad my pants. So I wailed around for a few minutes in pain, then had to "clean" myself up as his terror turned into uncontrolable ROTFLMAO.

My friend LOVED telling that story and I didn't think I would ever hear the end of it... until about 4 years later he was running from a dog and tried to hurtle a picket fence in shorts. He didn't make it and - no lie - ripped one of his testicles clean off and damaged the other one pretty bad. They were able to save the one but was laid up in a hospital bed for a good while recovering. Funny thing happened after that - he never brought up me shad'ing my pants again.
 
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