aaronwillen
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I wanted to take a moment to share this story with you guys..and specifically all outdoorsman who think they are invincible to lyme disease...like me prior to last summer. So here it goes: Back in december I started getting these weird panic attacks. Like one minute I would be fine..and the next I would be sweating, heart racing, huge adrenaline rush, with a crazy urge to get the F out of wherever I was at that moment.
After this went on for a few days I went to my doctor because obviously something was amiss. He diagnosed me with panic disorder, and sent me on my way with a script for paxil. I reluctantly started taking the paxil....but things continued to get worse...and all the paxil did was kill my ability to have sex...so needless to say I stopped. These panic episodes continued to get worse and worse until I was in a constant state of panic all day. I was in the last few months of my masters degree program, had just been accepted to medical school, and was working part time. I had to quit my job because I wasnt able to function at work while freaking out like this.
I didnt know what to do so I called up my parents and my mother was nice enough to come down to help me through this. I started seeing a psychiatrist, who again diagnosed me with panic disorder and started me on other drugs. They didnt have as many side effects but didnt even put a dent in the weird anxiety. As time went on...probobly in february my psychological symptoms started getting worse. I was having periods of memory loss, began developing obsessive thoughts about the pointlessness of life, never being able to work again, and had songs stuck in my head literally 24/7 for weeks.
I also began getting these episodes where I was completely intolerant of any cold...and would run to put on a sweatshirt..only to begin sweating moments later. I would then take my temperature and it would be LOW at usually around 97ish. As time went on I started becoming increasingly exhausted...sleeping around 20 hours a day. I was basically not functioning at all, had no appetite and had lost about 25 pounds. I went from psychologist to psychiatrist and everyone kept just saying I had anxiety disorder...then it became depression, then it became OCD.
They put me on relevant drugs for each...but nothign was helping. In early march the anxiety got so bad that I lost it. I knew something was wrong with me but no doctors could figure it out and I didnt know what to do anymore. My life and everything I had worked so hard for was going down the drain. I demanded to be admitted to the hospital because I wanted every test run....which my doctors complied with. After many many tests, MRIs etc everything came back normal and I was released from the hospital. My doctor kept increasing the dosage of my psych medications to no avail and basically wouldnt acknowledge the possibility of anything besides anxiety disorder/depression/OCD.
Yeah I was depressed...i can tell you that much..as anyone would be in that situation. I really was not functioning. Everyone was pushign me to start working again, and get out of the apartment...but I physically COULDNT. I couldnt drag myself out bed before 12 noon so working was not even an option. I kept telling the doctors about this insane fatigue and they kept saying thigns like "oh well depression makes you tired." It was like I was fighting a battle with my doctors...I knew something was really wrong with me, and they denied it. I felt like I was on one of those Mystery Diagnosis shows...and I rightfully could be.
In April I started getting these periods where I would be okay...for a week...maybe two...where I was up and doing things, completely normal...even brewing a few batches to keep my spirits up. But as fast as they would come I would crash back into my symptoms full force. April-May continued like this...weird periods of normality followed by a return of symptoms. Being of a medical background I knew this must hold some sort of significance. The psychiatrists didnt seem to think so...they kept claiming I had some sort of repressed memories that were causing this to happen...********. In mid May I began a futile internet search...as I have access to almost every medical journal thorugh my former school's e journal system. I stumbled across a paper about Lyme disease and how if it is not caught it can become a disseminated illness and spread to your nervous system...or virtually any body system.
I found a symptom checklist for lyme disease which had some really obscure symptoms on it like "musical hallucinations"..and went along to state lyme can cause extreme anxiety, restlessness, OCD, depression, panic disorder, and can mimic any psychiatric condition including schizophrenia and various forms of psychosis. WOAH. I was onto something. I filled out the symptom checklist and of 40 symptoms i had like 35. I immediately brought it to my psychiatrist who of course...denied that was possible. I even showed her the paper I had read...and she e mailed me back saying she didnt have time to read it. So screw it...I joined a Lyme disease forum (yes there are forums for everything!) and got the name of a local lyme specialist. After a long 3 week wait I got an appointment.
He examined me, took down all my symptoms and right away said "you are like a poster child for neurologic lyme disease." He started me on two different antibiotics in extremely high doses along with a lot of supplements to combat the yeast overgrowth issue I could have from the antibiotics. About 3 days after being on antibiotics I noticed an incredible change. The anxiety was gone and the OCD type stuff was fading into the background. I couldnt believe it, I broke down and just started crying....I had been sure my life was gone forever and here I was feeling great. Its been about 3 weeks now and I can say my symptoms are 100% gone. I will be on antibiotics for many more months so I know I am just at the beginning of my journey to wellness again but I feel great and like myself again. Assuming I make a full recovery from this I will be glad I had this experience, as it will allow me to become a better physician now that I have seen the dark side of medicine.
I will always think out of the box when my treatments are not working for my patients. My doctors were too quick to assign a diagnosis.. but never stopped and thought "hmm previously normal guy with NO psych history...with sudden onset of psych Sx...maybe its not just anxiety/OCD/Depression." Oh well...the downside is the antibiotics I am on are hepatotoxic so I cannot drink until I am off of them. But hell...thats a small price to pay for getting to enjoy the rest of my life. I have still been brewing...but some high ABV stuff that I can age until the fall when I can drink again..and hopefully have some sweetly aged beers. So thats my story.
I urge you all to check yourselves for ticks/use deet/ and tuck your pants into your socks when you are hiking. I hiked ever weekend last summer and never even thought I would ever get lyme (yes I do recall a rash on my back..but dismissed it as a typical rash). So be safe, enjoy the outdoors, and remember ticks can and DO transmit lyme disease. I would hate to hear anyone else had to go through the living hell I endured for the last 6 months of my life...I am truly lucky I had to strength to make it through that...
After this went on for a few days I went to my doctor because obviously something was amiss. He diagnosed me with panic disorder, and sent me on my way with a script for paxil. I reluctantly started taking the paxil....but things continued to get worse...and all the paxil did was kill my ability to have sex...so needless to say I stopped. These panic episodes continued to get worse and worse until I was in a constant state of panic all day. I was in the last few months of my masters degree program, had just been accepted to medical school, and was working part time. I had to quit my job because I wasnt able to function at work while freaking out like this.
I didnt know what to do so I called up my parents and my mother was nice enough to come down to help me through this. I started seeing a psychiatrist, who again diagnosed me with panic disorder and started me on other drugs. They didnt have as many side effects but didnt even put a dent in the weird anxiety. As time went on...probobly in february my psychological symptoms started getting worse. I was having periods of memory loss, began developing obsessive thoughts about the pointlessness of life, never being able to work again, and had songs stuck in my head literally 24/7 for weeks.
I also began getting these episodes where I was completely intolerant of any cold...and would run to put on a sweatshirt..only to begin sweating moments later. I would then take my temperature and it would be LOW at usually around 97ish. As time went on I started becoming increasingly exhausted...sleeping around 20 hours a day. I was basically not functioning at all, had no appetite and had lost about 25 pounds. I went from psychologist to psychiatrist and everyone kept just saying I had anxiety disorder...then it became depression, then it became OCD.
They put me on relevant drugs for each...but nothign was helping. In early march the anxiety got so bad that I lost it. I knew something was wrong with me but no doctors could figure it out and I didnt know what to do anymore. My life and everything I had worked so hard for was going down the drain. I demanded to be admitted to the hospital because I wanted every test run....which my doctors complied with. After many many tests, MRIs etc everything came back normal and I was released from the hospital. My doctor kept increasing the dosage of my psych medications to no avail and basically wouldnt acknowledge the possibility of anything besides anxiety disorder/depression/OCD.
Yeah I was depressed...i can tell you that much..as anyone would be in that situation. I really was not functioning. Everyone was pushign me to start working again, and get out of the apartment...but I physically COULDNT. I couldnt drag myself out bed before 12 noon so working was not even an option. I kept telling the doctors about this insane fatigue and they kept saying thigns like "oh well depression makes you tired." It was like I was fighting a battle with my doctors...I knew something was really wrong with me, and they denied it. I felt like I was on one of those Mystery Diagnosis shows...and I rightfully could be.
In April I started getting these periods where I would be okay...for a week...maybe two...where I was up and doing things, completely normal...even brewing a few batches to keep my spirits up. But as fast as they would come I would crash back into my symptoms full force. April-May continued like this...weird periods of normality followed by a return of symptoms. Being of a medical background I knew this must hold some sort of significance. The psychiatrists didnt seem to think so...they kept claiming I had some sort of repressed memories that were causing this to happen...********. In mid May I began a futile internet search...as I have access to almost every medical journal thorugh my former school's e journal system. I stumbled across a paper about Lyme disease and how if it is not caught it can become a disseminated illness and spread to your nervous system...or virtually any body system.
I found a symptom checklist for lyme disease which had some really obscure symptoms on it like "musical hallucinations"..and went along to state lyme can cause extreme anxiety, restlessness, OCD, depression, panic disorder, and can mimic any psychiatric condition including schizophrenia and various forms of psychosis. WOAH. I was onto something. I filled out the symptom checklist and of 40 symptoms i had like 35. I immediately brought it to my psychiatrist who of course...denied that was possible. I even showed her the paper I had read...and she e mailed me back saying she didnt have time to read it. So screw it...I joined a Lyme disease forum (yes there are forums for everything!) and got the name of a local lyme specialist. After a long 3 week wait I got an appointment.
He examined me, took down all my symptoms and right away said "you are like a poster child for neurologic lyme disease." He started me on two different antibiotics in extremely high doses along with a lot of supplements to combat the yeast overgrowth issue I could have from the antibiotics. About 3 days after being on antibiotics I noticed an incredible change. The anxiety was gone and the OCD type stuff was fading into the background. I couldnt believe it, I broke down and just started crying....I had been sure my life was gone forever and here I was feeling great. Its been about 3 weeks now and I can say my symptoms are 100% gone. I will be on antibiotics for many more months so I know I am just at the beginning of my journey to wellness again but I feel great and like myself again. Assuming I make a full recovery from this I will be glad I had this experience, as it will allow me to become a better physician now that I have seen the dark side of medicine.
I will always think out of the box when my treatments are not working for my patients. My doctors were too quick to assign a diagnosis.. but never stopped and thought "hmm previously normal guy with NO psych history...with sudden onset of psych Sx...maybe its not just anxiety/OCD/Depression." Oh well...the downside is the antibiotics I am on are hepatotoxic so I cannot drink until I am off of them. But hell...thats a small price to pay for getting to enjoy the rest of my life. I have still been brewing...but some high ABV stuff that I can age until the fall when I can drink again..and hopefully have some sweetly aged beers. So thats my story.
I urge you all to check yourselves for ticks/use deet/ and tuck your pants into your socks when you are hiking. I hiked ever weekend last summer and never even thought I would ever get lyme (yes I do recall a rash on my back..but dismissed it as a typical rash). So be safe, enjoy the outdoors, and remember ticks can and DO transmit lyme disease. I would hate to hear anyone else had to go through the living hell I endured for the last 6 months of my life...I am truly lucky I had to strength to make it through that...
